Hola! I've been meaning to write this story for a while now! In case you don't know this is based off of 'birds and bee's', which has got to be the most popular, one-shot I ever wrote. This is going to be a series. And the first chapter was supposed to be about Cut but… this wrote itself! So please enjoy the revenging plot bunny that is '101 things they don't teach you on kamino' :D.

The rec room was filled with cheep metal fold out chairs, and a holo projector, which had defiantly seen better days, which was aimed at the wall.

The clones of the 501st held a movie night every two weeks and far be it from General Skywalker to deprive them of that. As long as they weren't in battle or in any immediate danger of being blown up he had absolutely no problem with his men taking a break from normal duties and enjoying a holo film every once in a wile. He hadn't been able to attend any of the movies yet but tonight he had arranged for Ahsoka to handle his paper work. As it turned out playing the 'as your master I order you to do something boring wile I go do something awesome' card was a lot more fun when you were on the giving rather than the receiving end.

Anakin walked over to where his Captain and several troopers were discussing what movie they would watch this time.

"No sir we should play this one!" Fives said flatly holding up a colorful holo disc container.

"I out rank you Fives." The Capitan replied smugly smacking the trooper upside the head.

"But sir its my turn to pick!" Fives protested.

"What are you men talking about?" Anakin asked breaking into the conversation. The clones snapped up a quick salute, which Skywalker waved off.

"We're trying to decide what movie to watch sir." Kix, who was standing behind the captain, offered. Anakin grinned.

"What's it come down to?" the Jedi knight peered at the holo disk cases, which Rex held out for him to see.

"We got it down to The Sorcerers Apprentice and Spiderman." Anakin snorted.

"No offence captain but don't you think these movies are a kind of… childish?" Rex's Cheeks turned a little red and several of the troopers around him shifted uncomfortably.

"What would you recommend sir?" Skywalker grinned.

"Hang on a second." The Jedi knight exited the rec room and returned several minutes later with a holo disk in hand. He tossed it to the captain who looked at the cover.

"The human centipede sir?" Rex flipped the disk over and began reading the summery out loud. "A mad scientist kidnaps and mutilates a trio of tourists in order to 'reassemble' them into a new 'pet'- a human centipede, created by stitching their mouths to each others…" Rex coughed and looked visible uncomfortable with the holo disk in his hand. "Sir?" Skywalker grinned.

"Trust me Rex. Its an awesome movie." Rex looked at his brothers who looked just as uncomfortable with the general's choice as he was.

"If you say so sir…"

92 minutes later…

"Well?" Anakin asked his captain as he and the rest of the clones half walked half ran out of the rec room. "Was I right? Or was I right?" The captain stood there for moment in silence.

"That…" he said slowly. "Doesn't go there."

"Excuse me?" Anakin asked raising his eyebrow at the clone captain.

"THAT DOSEN'T GO THERE!" Rex screamed before taking off and nearly doing a sward dive into the nearest waste bin. The normally dignified captain did not look so dignified wrenching into a garbage can. Anakin looked around to see most of the clones had similar reactions to the film; some were leaning up against the wall in feeble positions looking green. Others who hadn't made it to a 'fresher or garbage bin had there heads buried in there helmets wrenching.

"O come on guys its just a movie!" Anakin shouted in exasperation. He didn't see why his men were reacting like this. After all it was not the worse horror film he could have shone them.

"All do respect sir." Rex said pulling his head out of the trash bin. "Next time I think we'll just stick to Spiderman."

"Agreed." Fives mumbled clutching his stomach and looking green. "I'm starting to wish I had just let you have yer pick captain." Just then Ahsoka rounded the corner, a grin on her face.

"So." She said with a smile. "How was the movie?" Fives covered his mouth with his hand and took off in the direction of the 'fresher. Rex put his head back in the trashcan and went back to throwing up.

"Rex?" the padawan asked placing a hand on his back. "You want to go to the medical bay?" Rex bolted up right his eyes filled with fear.

"NO. DOCTORS!" He practically shrieked before leaning back into the trashcan to continue being sick.

"Master?" Ahsoka asked turning to the General with question. Skywalker shrugged.

"I guess they can't handle horror movies." Ahsoka stood there for a moment looking at the knight.

"Can I see the box?" She asked after a moment. Anakin shrugged and handed her the container the film had come in. Ahsoka read for a second before shacking her head and looking up at her master.

"You do realize you just showed a movie which was 'Rated R for disturbing sadistic horror, violence, nudity and language' to a bunch of ten year olds right?" She looked up at her master, eyebrow raised. Skywalker turned a little pink.

"… That's bad right?" He asked after a moment.

"Yes master… that's bad."

This is a warning to all you pre and early teens out there. If you're older siblings or friends want you to watch a horror movie…. DON'T! Ok enough about the moral lessons. Review me baby! It's my birthday tomorrow and I want presents! Also I do not own the sorcerers apprentice, spiderman, or the human centipede.