Failure Meet Failure

By Midnak

Chapter 1: Failure Meet Failure

Be careful what you wish for. Old man Teuchi had said that when I had expressed my wish to eat ramen every day. The man had rambled on about how even the taste of ramen could grow old and it would be horribly tragic to lose his best customer. At the time I had laughed off the advice and put it out of my mind along with nearly every piece of advice people tried to give me. Now more than ever I wished I had given more weight to the advice of that old man.

Why? Well I had been sitting on an old patio overlooking the main street near my house; having failed that graduation exam yet again. I was so ashamed. Here I was, less than a season away from fourteen years of age, and I alone had failed to graduate alongside my 12 year old peers. Well, some were 13, but that's not the point! I had entered the academy a year early, and I was now a year behind! All I was thinking about was that I wished to disappear and not have to face the looks of the villagers again; those cold, appraising eyes that looked right through me.

Then all I saw was green. A nice mellow, light green; but a surprising change from the streets of Konoha none the less. A strange sense of vertigo took over and for a moment I thought I had fallen from my perch. All I could do was close my eyes and wait for the impact. Only, instead of a nasty fall and the sound of me hitting ground, I heard people coughing. Opening my eyes slowly, I found I was surrounded by quickly clearing smoke. Figures slowly became visible; first one close to me, then several more in the background. For a moment I thought the one close to me was Sakura. Pink hair and a slight frame, but upon closer inspection she was revealed to be on similar looking to my crush; several years older and slightly taller. I also noticed that she, and the now revealed group of people behind her, were all wearing the same outfit of a white shirt and dark gray skirts and pants with a cloak over their shoulders. If they were all wearing an unfamiliar uniform, was I in a rival village? If so, how did I get there? I sure didn't leave Konoha by myself, and kidnapping an academy student like me didn't seem terribly useful. I mean, someday I would be Hokage, but I wasn't right now.

"Who are you?" Asked the pink haired girl, snapping me out of my thoughts.

Well that meant this wasn't a kidnapping, or at least a successful kidnapping. "Naruto Uzumaki." I said without realizing. Damn! Really? Never give your real name in unfamiliar territory, ninja rule number who gives a crap. Even I knew that was a bad idea and I had just blurted it out because I let my mouth run before my brain. Trying to get a handle on everything, I stood up, finding myself about a few centimeters shorter than the girl.

"Wow, Louise summoned a runt."

"Is that a commoner? He doesn't have a mantle."

"Leave it to the Zero to summon a commoner."

"Hey Louise! What are you doing summoning a commoner?" People from the crowd yelled out.

The girl, Louise apparently, grew red in the face and turned to yell back, "I just made a little mistake! Professor Colbert, please let me try again!" Professor? Ah, so this was a school. For nobles if the constant use of commoner meant anything. Did that mean I was all the way in the Fire Capital?

"It is strictly forbidden. When you are promoted to a second year student, you must summon a familiar, which is what you just did." A familiar? Me? I had no idea what a familiar was, but the way everyone was looking at me, I could only assume it was me.

"Your elemental specialty is decided by the familiar that you summon. It enables you to advance to the appropriate courses for that element. You cannot change the familiar once you have summoned it, because the Springtime Familiar Summoning is a sacred rite. Whether you like it or not, you have no choice but to take him." The older man, Professor Colbert, rambled on in what I like to call 'Iruka-sensei lecture mode.' What was it with teachers and those 'I know so much' lectures?

"But... I've never heard of having a commoner as a familiar!" Obviously the girl was angry at associating with me, but what else was new? "No 'buts' now hurry along." The professor admonished. She turned back towards me, trepidation in her eyes. Whatever was going on was important. I knew those eyes; those eyes that feared failure and rejection.

"Go on Louise the Zero!"

"Even a failure like you can do this right?"

The other students jeered the girl along. Well that was weird; usually the class failure was me. I don't know why, maybe it was seeing someone in my usual position, or maybe it was just that she closely resembled my crush, but I wanted to help her out. "You can do it." I said to her. Not loud or boisterous, but softly and with my best smile.

The way she started back and grew red in the face it was like I asked her to kiss me or something. For a moment I thought she might hit me, but that was probably the Sakura instinct kicking in. "You should count yourself lucky. Normally you'd go your whole life without a noble doing this to you." Eh? Doing what to me? "My name is Louise Francoise Le Blanc de La Valliere. Pentagon of the Five Elemental Powers; bless this humble being, and make him my familiar." That was when she leaned in. I was so frozen in shock from being this close to someone else I never even realized what was happening until her lips touched mine.

My first kiss… stolen.

Well, it could have been worse, it could have been Sasuke. I almost snickered at the ridiculous thought. Of course, before I could form and words to question what just happened, my left hand flared up like it had been stabbed with a kunai. Gripping it in pain, I was vaguely aware of someone explaining it was momentary, sure enough the pain stopped and I had a weird scar on the back of my hand. Huh, I never scarred… weird.

"You may have failed 'Summon Servant' several times, but you have managed to succeed with 'Contract Servant' in only one try, good job miss Louise." The Professor congratulated her with a bright smile.

"That's just because it was a runt of a commoner!"

"If it was a real familiar, the Zero would have failed!"

The jeering from the other students was really starting to tick me off. I can take a lot of punishment, but my height had always been my sore spot. Before I could lose my cool, the pink haired first-kiss thief yelled back at them, "Don't make fun of me! Even I do things right once in a while!" Wow this was surreal. It was like looking at a copy of me, but a girl… and with pink hair.

"Truly 'once in a while', Louise the Zero," called out a blond haired, freckled girl. Of course, that was when my annoyance tipped the scales and outweighed my confusion at the whole scenario. Mustering up courage, I yelled out at the top of my lungs, "Oy! Shut your face you frizzy haired jackal!"

Well that sure shut everyone up. They had all been dismissing me as the silent kid to the side, and were all now looking at me as if they finally realized I was there. Of course, then the freckled girl went straight for the teacher. Bullies never had any backbone. "Professor Colbert! Make Louise keep control of her familiar." She whined to the professor. Wow, really?

The man raised a hand to placate her and tried to defuse the situation. "Well, let us end class for the day, Louise try to keep your familiar under control okay? And Miss Montmorency, please don't tease other nobles; it's undignified."

And with that, he began leading all the students away; though none of them jeered at Louise, probably still surprised at my anger. It wasn't long before they were gone from sight. "You didn't have to do that, I can take care of myself," a subdued voice came from my side.

I hadn't even realized she was still here. Looking over at her, I scratched the back of my head in embarrassment, "I just don't like it when people get picked on. So maybe you didn't need it, I still felt good doing it." I tried to wave off her embarrassment, though it didn't have the intended affect.

"Well DON'T do that again!" She yelled out, surprising me with her indignant shout. "You are my familiar and I am accountable for you actions!" Okay, maybe I should back off, I knew girl rage when I saw it.

Best to divert the rage, practice with Sakura taught me as much, "What do you mean, I'm your familiar?" I asked, confused at the term.

That was when the girl went into a 'Sakura lecture mode' one hand on hip, the other pointed upward and ticking off her points. Obviously feeling superior now that she was teaching me, I just thanked my lucky stars she hadn't blown a gasket. "I am Louise Francoise Le Blanc de La Valliere, you can address me as Miss Louise or Mistress. As a second year mage in training, I summoned you here to act as my familiar." She must have registered the blank look on my face, because she continued on, "That means you help me by gathering reagents, acting as a second set of eyes, and protecting me."

"Eh? Reagents, eyes?"

"Well, mages are supposed to see what a familiar sees, but I'm not getting anything, and since you don't know what reagents are, I doubt you can gather sulfur, moss, etcetera. As for protecting me…." She gave me a look, doubting that I could do such a thing.

I cut her off before she could continue marking down my supposed failures, "I can fight!" I proclaimed loudly, though she didn't seem impressed.

Instead she just continued on, "Right, well I had hoped for a powerful magical beast."

That stopped me, "What, like the Nine-Tails?" I thought; a bit taken aback.

"The what?" She responded, confusion playing across her. Okay…. Definitely not near Konoha.

Konoha, I needed to get back there. "Hey, if you can't use me as a familiar, just send me back to Konoha okay?" I asked, giving my best pleading smile. Maybe I could get this whole business over and done with quickly, this was all too strange.

Louise just flipped her hair back and looked at me with narrowed eyes. "Impossible, even if I knew where this Konoha was, you are bound to me for life as my familiar and the summoning ritual is one way only."

For life?... "WHAAAAT? I didn't agree to this." I shouted, completely taken off guard by the girl's assumption of life servitude.

"Yes you did," She replied with a hint of superiority and amusement. "You can do it," I really needed to learn to keep my mouth shut. "Besides, those runes on your hand prove it. You are my familiar, and I am your master." With a quick turn of her heals, she turned around and headed off towards a large tower. It took a moment, but I followed after her.

Be careful what you wish for.

Louise had given me the task of laundry as soon as she finished explaining where I was and what my job as familiar entailed. Since I apparently was failing as a familiar, she wanted to make use of me as a servant. I had protested at first, thinking the task demeaning, but she had asked who would feed me if she wasn't going to. That stopped me, I was already hungry, not having eaten since morning. Thinking about laundry as an odd job for food, I relented and accepted the task, if only for tonight. I washed my own clothing all the time, a little more wouldn't hurt, and Uzumaki Naruto is not free loader. That was how I found myself kneeling next to a fountain, scrapping away at a washboard with Louise's clothing. The underwear had been awkward, but I just let those soak in the water and called it good. Work for my food and all that. The worst part was the icy water. My hands grew numb near the beginning of the chore, and throbbed in annoyance throughout.

The menial task did give me some time to think about my situation. Here I was, undeniably far from home; unsure if I could ever return to Konoha. I was a summoned protector for a noble training to be a mage of all things. It wasn't all bad, I always wanted to protect some princess like the great tales of valiant ninja, and a noble was close to being a princess. I was in this new land, surrounded on all sides by strange people. No one knew me as a failure, I could redefine myself. But I couldn't be a ninja, or Hokage. I could get respect though, heck, it would probably be easier.

It was strange, every time I thought of my home; my thoughts would turn to the good things about being here, in this new land. Every time I tried to remember anything worth going home for, I came up empty. Rather, I wondered if I wanted to stay here, with Louise. Regardless of her menial tasks, she needed me as a familiar. That was a nice feeling. To be needed.

Growing frustrated with my deep train of thought, I ruffled my own hair and stood up, shaking away the tiresome thoughts. I couldn't get tied up in the sucky thing happening to me. If I did that, I'd never be anything more than that orphan no one likes. I was Uzumaki Naruto, and I would always move forward. Right now, I had no way home, so I'd be awesome here. When I find a way home, I can decide what to do then!

It wasn't long before I realized I was not equipped for the task of laundry. I had finished washing the clothing only to realize I had no place to hang it. After ten minutes of looking for somewhere to hang it up, I gave up and just draped them over the railing along the walkway leading to the tower Louise lived in. I spent an hour there, letting the warm spring night dry them. I stared up at the moons. It was almost surreal to think there were two of them now. Louise had explained that I was in the Tristain Academy of Magic on the continent of Halkeginia. The Academy was teaching the students to be "mages", like something out of a fantasy novel.

A strange sense fell over me, back in Konoha, I never slowed down. It was a race to be a great ninja, and I was always lagging behind. Right now, that all seemed so far away. I decided not to worry too much for now.

I collected and golded up Louise's clothing; briefly passing a chatting pair of students. A couple by the looks of it. "Ah! Isn't that the commoner Louise summoned?" I turned to them, basket in my hands. It was a brown haired girl around my age and a blond boy, slightly older.

"You want something?" I said a bit abruptly.

I did not like the look of him. His self-assured smile really ticked me off. "No, just surprised is all. A commoner has never been summoned as a familiar before, leave it to the Zero to completely mess up every spell."

I set the laundry down.

"Oy, don't make fun of Louise." I said, angrier than I should have been. The boy flipped his hair back and looked into my eyes.

"I'm not teasing anyone, just stating fact." I almost picked a fight right then and there. Then I remembered what Louise said. "You are my familiar and I am accountable for you actions" Sucking up my anger I grabbed the basket of laundry and retreated up the stairs, a foul taste in my mouth.

Chapter End

Author's notes: So this is my revision of chapter 1, I tried to move everything slower and take my time, unless it is demanded, I won't revise this again. I only do this because the beginning of the story is what really sets the foundation for the rest, so I want to do it right.

I reworked this from the ground up, trying for a first person approach rather than a third person. I do this because it will allow for a slower paced version of Naruto adapting to his situation, rather than me jumping around with actions. Please let me know what you think of the new format. I am more used to writing in the first person, but I worry about being ooc with naruto since he is more of a doer than a thinker. I made him think more than I feel is in character, but given his strange circumstances, it should be agreeable.

I also went with the light novel's approach of no language barrier, the summoning presumably taking care of it, in an effort to stay away from mirroring anime Saito again.

Now, in response to Emperor Tippy. I agree that Naruto hasn't hit many defining moments yet, but remember, this is the start of the series for both stories. Louise hasn't hit any of her defining moments either. That is precisely why I took him so early. So they can grow together. Mind you, I will state again that Naruto will not just be a tougher Saito, he will be using, improving, and creating ninja techniques with what he has to go with.

*Spoiler for Familiar of Zero light novels*

Okay, so in FoZ, the familiar summoning process is revealed to manipulate the consciousness of the familiar to want to stay with their master, I am trying to show that here with Naruto, so that's why he isn't trying super hard to return to Konoha. As time goes on, the idea of returning gets pushed further and further to the back of his mind.