Stupid

Disclaimer: Oh please. Do I look like Clamp to you?

Warning(s): Boys being being boys (or virgins being virgins), silliness, fluff.

Notes: Gosh, this is probably the cleanest fic I have ever written dealing with 'first times'. But I just wanted something semi-realistic and not those boys jumping into LOL LOL sex.

…

Touya was blushing again. And looking at the ground. Somehow, he had no idea how to go around this - none at all. Gosh, this was so stupid and he was starting to feel more and more like an idiot.

So, he and Yukito were in his bedroom now. Sitting on the bed. They loved each other (he was sure of that), and they both wanted this (he hoped).

It was a seemingly simple equation. But, somehow, Touya just didn't - how the hell did you initiate this?

Should we kiss -, he thought, turning bright red or should he say something, but what -

They should have 'how to have sex' manuals in the bookstores, he thought. Or wait, maybe they did and he just hadn't been smart enough to get one of those. Might have been useful.

Yukito, of course, was smiling, which - in Touya's opinion - made things worse, rather than better. Because, when he smiled like this, Touya felt his knees going weak and his heart beat even quicker … and Touya really just wanted to lean forward and capture his lips in a kiss. And Yukito's lips, Touya knew, were soft and warm, and when they kissed -

Damn it. This was just making things worse. Touya couldn't do that: wouldn't that be too forward? But … if he just waited, nothing would happen. Gosh, he felt like tearing his hair out, and he must have been frowning a lot because one of Yukito's hands touched his. He looked worried.

"Touya, something wrong?" Yukito asked, and Touya started to feel even more stupid.

"I- I'm nervous." There, he said it. No point in denying it.

Yukito's grip on his hand grew stronger, and he smiled even wider. Then, he squeezed Touya's hand. "I'm nervous too … it's fine to be nervous, I think."

And, maybe because Touya could feel Yukito tremble a bit (his hand was shuddering just a teeny bit) or noticed now that Yukito's smile was a little too forced, he started to laugh. He really was stupid for not having noticed it before, that - while he was nervous - Yukito was, too. And that, maybe he wasn't an idiot for being nervous, but for making too much of a big deal out of this.

"Good, then let's be nervous together," Touya said then, his voice shaking a bit, before leaning forward to kiss Yukito.

…