Disclaimer: If I owned any of this, this whole chapter would be completely irrelevant. In fact, Tonks would have been introduced a lot earlier and much more of a role in the films and books and stuff... Ditto Bella, Bill, Charlie...

A/N: I'm pretty sure I've seen something like this before but its kind my own take on things... It's basically a series of letters characters would write to their beloved author if they were you know... Real.

Dear Jo (yeah, I'm calling you that now),

Let's just cut to the chase, shall we?

I'm pretty sure you had something against me from the first moment I was an idea in your brain. I mean honestly, Nymphadora? Really? What am I, a tree elf?

I am owling you (from beyond the grave... Scared yet?) To address such issues.

So it all started with the Merlin awful name. And, when you first introduced me, well it was all fine. Of course, from then on, as we both know, it went down the loo...

Firstly you kill off my cousin (one of, if not the only person in my family that would not have liked to slowly murder me with a blunt object) and set my (more than slightly) psychotic Aunt on me. As if that wasn't bad enough, you throw me into some kind of forbidden love thing with a werewolf, making me completely and utterly depressed and (even I'll say it) rather boring for a whole book. So yeah, then it goes well. We get married and it's all happy and I think you might cut me some slack.

Suddenly, I'm almost dead (again), you kill off one of the only guys that I actually had a listed friendship with and then I'm pregnant and alone. Of course, he did come back but seriously, convinced by a seventeen year old? Way to make a girl feel loved.

As if that wasn't bad enough, you go and kill my Dad. Yeah, thanks for that.

So, it's all lovely and we're together again and we have a son and we're a family and its all flowers and sparkles and happy endings... Right?

Apparently not.

Just as it starts going well, you kill us. And I don't even get a death scene! Seriously, what's up with that? You gave Dobby a death scene. You gave Hedwig the bloody owl a death scene.

So here I am, owling you from Merlin-knows-where to ask you this question:

Why do you hate me?

Am I really that bad?

Much love,

Tonks, Dora, Lupin, any other nickname you feel like concocting for me.

A/N: I'm pretty sure J.K didn't hate Tonks. She's just a little pissed she didn't get a death scene :3.