HEY GUYS.

I haven't been in the fandom for a long time, but since Max is back, I'M BACK and to be honest, I have another fairytale brewing in my head, but I figured that I should probably finish this one before jumping into the next. So here's a bit that I've been saving for quite awhile. I hope I can wrap this up soon! Please enjoy.

The sun nearly kills him.

Groaning, Kurt scrunches up into a ball and shields his eyes, feeling his head throb dully in response to the light. He buries his face into his lush silk pillows and groggily wonders if it's worth it to pretend to snore.

"Rise and shine, little lark!"

"Nuuuuoooo..." Kurt makes a pitiful sound in the back of his throat, and blindly gropes for one of the many pillows on his bed, half-heartedly aiming one at Mercy, who calmly dodges it while shaking the Prince awake.

"Time to sing, lark!" Mercy coos sweetly, but Kurt knows better, scooting further away from her prodding and sharp, falcon-like nails. Not that he ever told her- he rather liked having his head still firmly attached to his body. "Leave me here to die."

"Mmmhmm. Prince or not, I'm this close to dangling you off the balcony. Now up, up, up!"

"Please, feel free," Kurt growls. Unfortunately, last night's misadventures were all rather intact in his head, and he's caught between wanting to die in a corner or sleep forever. Either one, he doesn't want to get up.

"Brought you your pixie root tea," Mercy offers, and Kurt scrunches his nose, before finally relenting and using his elbows to get into a sitting stance and accepting the delicate china cup gratefully and taking in a deep whiff of the tea. Already the strong aroma was clearing up the fog in his head, and he takes a sip, somewhat embarrassed that Mercy had apparently figured out he was drinking last night by brewing up the well-known hangover treatment, even before entering the room.

"I heard what happened last night." Mercy nonchantly brought up, as she set out Kurt's clothes for the day, and the Prince nearly chokes on his tea. Mercy shakes her head, clucking her tongue slightly. "Why didn't you ask me to drink with you? You know I would be perfectly fine with staying here with you while we polish off half of the castle's wine collection."

Kurt puts the cup down on its saucer, "That's the thing. I enjoy having a drink with you but...I'm sick of it! I'm sick of the knights always laughing right in my face when I ask if I can join them during their tavern trips."

"And so you went out, had too much mead, gotten into a couple of fights, before Az and David rescued your pretty little face from being forever mistaken as an orc's."

"I could've taken him on," Kurt sniffs, though self-conciously rubbing a hand over his cheek.

"Boy, no you couldn't. If even Az and David ran away from him like the Goddess' wrath was at their feet, I don't think you could've even made him blink."

"I thought you were supposed to be on my side," Kurt pouts.

"I am, little lark," Mercy hums, holding out her arms to hug Kurt, who accepts- he was feeling miserable as it is, "but Az grew up in the Territories, and I once saw David take down three trolls while still talking about the weather. When they say you were about to be pummeled to death, I believe them."

"You know Karofsky?"

"Of course," Mercy shrugs, "everyone in the castle does, he made me these for my birthday," Mercy pushes back her hair and Kurt can see a beautiful pair of diamond studs in each ear."

"As well as this," Mercy kneeled down to extract something from the back of her leg and Kurt yelped, as a dagger came into his view. "Comes in handy," Mercy smirks, and she presses the embedded ruby at the center of the knife that exposed a smaller blade at the other end of the knife. "So does this."

Kurt stares, as she presses the ruby again and watches the blade slide back into the handle. "What is with him and adding all these hidden compartments?"

"Trademark," Mercy explains. "He adds something little extra in, which really makes everything that much more useful." She tilts her head, "You didn't think that he's currently the only blacksmith the whole city for no reason? He's driven everyone else out of business."

"Knock knock!" A sweet voice rings out, and Kurt turns to see his twice removed cousin waving frantically at him from the doorway. He tries to smile back. He likes his gentle, if not a little slow relative, but he's not sure if his head can take her logic today.

"Come in, dear cousin."

Brittany shuffles in, her poofy, soft, pink dress compresses slightly as she walked through the double doors and popped back into form after she crossed the threshold.

"Good morning cousin, Mercy," she chirps, and the two call out their own greetings as she made her way towards the bed. She sits at the edge, and causes the dress to puff up, before she flattens it with a casual hand. "I heard about your fighting last night, Kurt."

Kurt groans, throwing himself back onto the mess of pillows. "Is there anyone in the castle that hasn't heard of it?"

"The King, perhaps, but only because everyone is rather fond of their heads." Mercy comments, "Sometimes, I think he dotes on you too much."

Brittany pats Kurt's knee, "It's ok Kurt, if you need it, I'll let you borrow Sunshine if you need him."

"Sunshine?"

Brittany pulled back her sleeve all the way up to her elbow, and plucked out a brass knuckle that was strapped to her upper arm. She slots her fingers into the four rings and uses her thumb to active the sharp spikes that came protruding out.

Kurt knows he must look utterly moronic with his mouth hanging open, but Brittany doesn't seem to notice, as she lifts her skirt slightly to expose her high heel shoes. She raps sharply at the back of the heel, and a blade protrudes out of the front of the shoe, where her toes were. "I'd let you borrow these too, but we don't share the same shoe size."

"That's...that's alright." Kurt manages out, suddenly feeling terribly insecure, "so that's why no one really minds when I go around town just with you two."

"What's that?" Mercy points at Kurt's grappling hook, and Kurt's eyes widen slightly, going over to grab it before it's snatched up by Brittany. "Oooh, it's his newest one!"

"The one that he wouldn't show us?"

"Kurt, you're so lucky-"

"What does it do..." Mercy muses, pressing down on the hidden metal piece. The girls shriek in delight as five darts shoot out and nearly hit Kurt, who's on the floor, trembling.

"Everyone wants to kill me..." Kurt wails, and Mercy hands the harnesses over to Brittany as she kneels over Kurt, running a hand through his hair.

"Oh lark," Mercy sighs, "everyone just wants to see you safe."

"I don't see the need for it." Kurt shoots back.

Mercy crosses her arms, "oh really?"

"Yes, really," Kurt grounds out, unwilling to sit up, preferring much more to pretend that his closest friends weren't psychotic potential-assassins.

Mercy sighs, "when you feel like getting up, the King asked me to remind you that you have lunch with him today in the gardens, so you'll have to find time in your moping session to get up and look presentable," she quips with a sickly sweet voice, before ushering Brittany (still cooing over the grappling hook) out of his bedroom. The door closes, and Kurt is left with an uneasy feeling in his stomach, not entirely fueled by alcohol.