A/N: Warning for character suicide/angst/language. Title pulled from the song "Inside Out" by Eve 6.

"Don't patronize me Eames." Arthur snapped. "You should know better than anyone that I...that she...just don't."
"Arthur. I'm not trying to...it's just been so long. You have to move on at some point." Eames said softly, trying to put his arm around the dark-haired man.
"Don't fucking tell me what I have to do." he growled, pulling himself away from Eames sharply
"This isn't good for you. I'm worried-"
Arthur let out a short laugh. "You? Worried about me? I told you not to patronize me." Eames opened his mouth to speak again but Arthur cut him off. "Get out Eames." he said. When the bigger man didn't move Arthur shoved him, hard. "I said get out!" he yelled, tears pricking at his eyes.
"Arthur..." Eames started.
"Just go! Just fucking go."
Eames knew it was useless. He turned and opened the door. "Arthur...if you need me..." he trailed off.
"I won't." came the reply, muttered darkly from a corner of an apartment filled with shadows.

Arthur couldn't believe it when he got the call. His phone slipped out of his hand and tumbled to the floor. Arthur sank down after it, ignoring the muffled sounds coming from his phone.

She was dead.

Mal was dead.

No one could tell Arthur what had happened. Dom refused to tell him the whole truth. Arthur could tell from the older man's voice that he was hiding something. But none of that mattered. All that mattered was that she was gone. She had meant the world to him and she was just...gone. And she was never coming back.

He reached out to his phone and ended the call, heedless of the person on the other end. His eyes unseeing he made his way to the liquor cabinet in his apartment. He groped for the whiskey and ignored the glasses, choosing instead to sit on the floor taking pulls directly from the bottle. Soon he drifted into a blissful oblivion where he didn't know she was gone.

He had done the same every year since, unable to cope.

"Dammit Arthur. I know you're hurting. Do you think I'm not hurting too?" Dom said into the phone as he sped between cars.
"Of course you're hurting. But this...this isn't the same..." Arthur said, stroking his fingers against the object in front of him.
"Arthur...I loved her. She was my everything. But I...I tried to move on."
"And we all know how well that turned out." Arthur muttered coldly.
"Don't start with me."
"Look, Dom, I get it. You love her. And she...she loved you. But what I...what she...never mind. I should have stopped trying years ago."
" No Arthur." Dom sighed as he whipped into a parking spot. "Look, I'm here. I'm coming up. I just ask that you talk to me Arthur."
"You don't get it. You're never going to get it Dom. You're too blinded by your feelings for her."
" I love her Arthur. I'm in more pain than you can imagine."
Arthur laughed, "Don't even try that shit. I'm in pain too, but does that fucking matter? No. Because you love her. Well guess what Dom? You weren't the only fucking one." Arthur snapped the phone shut and dropped it heedlessly. He looked down and flipped the six-sided object around in his hand. He closed his eyes and threw it across the room, not caring where it landed. It didn't matter anymore. Glancing down at the coffee table he reached his hand out to touch cool metal. He stroked along the cylindrical shape and smiled.

Dom banged on Arthur's apartment door, shouting at him. Shouting for him to open the door, to explain everything. He swore to listen, to not say a word, if only Arthur would open the door.
It took a long moment for the sound to register in Dom's head, even as his open palm fell away from the door and he stumbled backwards. Hitting the opposite wall he sank down it silently.

The echoes of the gunshot faded into oblivion.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Okay...maybe enjoyed is the wrong word. Review please?