My Stupid Mouth

By angellwings

Chapter Three: Only Hurts Me

"I'm never speaking up again. It only hurts me. I'd rather be a mystery than she desert me. Oh I'm never speaking up again. Starting now."

-John Mayer, "My Stupid Mouth"

Nate couldn't believe he'd actually done it. He'd asked Olivia out on a date. He'd been attempting to work up the nerve (and the words) to do that for weeks now. Nate still couldn't really talk to girls. It didn't matter how much older he was or how much more he'd accomplished…he still had a hard time sharing anything about himself with a girl. He was afraid they would hear something they didn't like and run away. That they would find out his deepest dorkiest secrets and never want to see him again. He'd yet to be in a relationship or a flirtation that proved otherwise.

He wanted this one to prove him wrong. This date needed to go well.

And Nate was notoriously bad at dates. He rarely talked on first dates or second dates or even third dates. Dates just weren't his thing, and everyone knew it. He needed help. Serious help, and there was only one person he could think to turn to. This person was good at not only getting dates, but keeping them too. This person was Ella Pador. Her office door was open but he knocked on the door frame just to be safe. She jumped and then turned to face him.

"Nate! I didn't hear you walk up!" She exclaimed. "What are you? Part ninja?"

He laughed. "Not just part ninja, Ells. I'm Batman."

She grinned and rolled her eyes. "In your dreams, Nathaniel. So, what's up? What do you need?"

"I have a date on Friday night."

Her grin faltered for a split second but she quickly recovered and smiled at him. "I see, and you need a great outfit, right? Well, I'll try and find time to help Nate but I'm not sure that I really have—"

"Actually, I was hoping you'd help me with something else."

Her brow furrowed and she tilted her head slightly. "Oh?"

"What are you doing for dinner tomorrow night?"

Her eyes widened. "What? You want to take me to dinner?"

"Yes, no one knows more about good date behavior than you, Ells. I was hoping you would help me out. Sort of like a practice date," Nate said as he gave her a hopeful look. "Please?"

"A practice date?" She asked. "You mean, we would go out and you would pretend it was a date?"

"Yes, and then you could tell me everything that I do wrong so that I can fix it in time to—"

"Have a wonderful real date," Ella said with a nod and a sigh. "Right, of course."

"So, will you help me?" Nate asked with a pleading look.

Ella bit her bottom lip and nodded hesitantly. "Sure, of course, I'll help. But I can't do tomorrow night. I've got plans. What about tonight?"

"You have plans?" Nate asked.

She rolled her eyes and smirked at him. "Yes, Nate. I do have a life, thank you."

He nodded and then smirked after a moment. "I didn't mean to insinuate that you didn't. And I can do tonight. No problem. I'll pick you up at seven?"

"Can we make it eight? I don't get off work until six today and I need time to change."

"Sure, eight it is," Nate said with a smile. He gave Ella a quick hug. "Thank you for this, Ells. I really appreciate it."

He pulled away before Ella could hug him back and then said a hurried goodbye as he left to meet his brothers at the studio. Ella closed her office door and huffed. She leaned against the door and shook her head. "This is a terrible idea, Ella Pador."

There was no way she could handle a fake date with the guy she'd had a crush on for years. Ella had a feeling she was about to get in over her head.

Nate shook himself out of his thoughts as he approached Ella's apartment door. He didn't know why he kept wondering who Ella had plans with tomorrow night. It had been bugging him all day. The minute Ella mentioned she had plans Nate's mind immediately began to try and figure who her latest date could be. She hadn't mentioned anyone to him lately. He took a deep breath and knocked. He didn't understand why this was bothering him so much anyway.

The door opened and he was immediately greeted with a bright smile from Ella. He gulped as he looked her up and down. She was wearing a strapless dress that stopped about three inches above her knee, and her dark hair fell across her shoulders in gentle waves. She looked gorgeous.

"I—you look beautiful, Ella. Really."

She blushed and glanced down at her extremely tall heels. "Thank you."

He cleared his throat and then offered her his arm. "Are you ready?"

She nodded. "Let's do this. Practice date starts now, so be on your best behavior, Nathaniel. I won't pull any punches."

He laughed and nodded. "And I wouldn't want you to."

She looped her arm through his and then he led her from the building. When they reached his car and they'd yet to start small talk Ella roughly poked his arm. "Rule number one, Nate, awkward silences are bad."

"Right, silences, bad…got it."

Ella shook her head as he opened the car door for her. "No, not all silences just awkward ones. Awkward silences build up nerves, and excessive nerves on first dates never result in anything good for either person."

He smiled and nodded. "Okay, no awkward silences."

"Good, because you don't want to dismiss tense silences and comfortable silences," She said as she leaned back against the frame of the car.

He quirked a brow at her and propped his arm on top of the door. "And what's the difference in those?"

"Comfortable is a silence that says talking isn't required. That you don't need to fill every silence to be at ease around the other person," She told him.

"And a tense silence?" Nate asked.

"That's the silence that's full of romantic chemistry. Usually it leads to a soft touch or," Ella paused before she hesitantly continued. "Or a kiss. You know, it's those moments where everything gets sort of foggy and you're moving toward the other person without even realizing it. The moments that feel…magical."

Nate could feel himself leaning further and further across the door. He didn't remember moving but he could feel it happening. His eyes landed on her lips and he gulped. Ella could feel him staring and she was looking every where but at him. She finally looked up and caught his glance as his absently licked his lips. Ella felt her breathing quicken and she quickly turned away from him and ducked inside the car. Tense moments weren't supposed to happen on pretend dates. She had to keep herself from getting caught up again. Nate wasn't really on a date with her. He was just using her as practice. She had to keep reminding herself of that if she wanted to come out of this date unscathed.

Nate blinked at the spot where Ella had been standing for a moment before he cleared his throat and shut the car door. Was that just…did he almost kiss Ella? He'd certainly wanted to. Wait. He'd wanted to kiss Ella?

He'd wanted to kiss Ella. What did that mean? Could he…like Ella? It would explain why he was so distracted by trying to figure out who she had plans with. He'd been jealous. This wasn't just a practice date, not to him. This was a real date. As he walked around to the driver's side he mentally cursed himself. Ella thought this was a fake date because he'd told her that. He was an idiot. A big, big idiot.

He sat down in the car and he could feel the awkwardness surround them. He started the car, and pulled into the street. "So, how was work?"

Ella winced. "Work is not a first date conversation topic. Unless you're asking what her work is. That's different, but if you know what they do for a living and you ask…it comes off as more of a relationship topic. So stick to basic statistics and facts at first. Really get to know your date."

"Okay, but…I know all of that stuff about you," Nate said with a sigh.

Ella smirked. "Do you really? Are you sure about that?"

He nodded. "I know what you do. I know who your parents are. I know that you have one older brother. I know where you went to college and I even remember the name of your high school. I know that you collect special edition Barbie dolls, specifically the ones affiliated with actual fashion designers. I know that you prefer dark chocolate to milk chocolate and that you will never, under any circumstances, eat chocolate with almonds in it. And I know that your favorite magazine, whether you admit it or not, is Seventeen. Believe me, Ella. I'm sure."

She blinked at him for a few moments and then blushed deeply. "I—um, well…now you know what you need to learn about your date. I mean if you're able to learn that much about little old me then you'll certainly be able to learn even more about, um—what's your date's name?"

He sighed. "Olivia."

Her brow furrowed. "Olivia? The new girl that Caitlyn's been producing for?"

"That's the one."

"Oh, well, that seems right, I guess. She's very talented. I've heard some of the mixes Caitlyn's working on for her. They were impressive. Exactly your kind of girl," Ella said softly with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Ella—"

"You two should have no problem finding something to talk about Friday night."

"Ella, we need to talk," Nate said hurriedly before Ella could interrupt him again.

"What could we possibly need to talk about?" Ella asked. "You wanted me to help you prepare for your date and that's exactly what I'm doing."

"We had a 'tense' moment earlier, Ells," He stated nervously.

"No, no we didn't. You can't have tense moments on fake dates. That's why they're called 'fake dates', Nate," Ella said frantically.

"What if I don't want this to be a fake date anymore?" Nate asked her.

"What?" Ella asked in shock.

"I wasn't caught up in the moment before. I wanted to kiss you. I still want to kiss you. But more than that…I want—I want…"

Ella gulped. "You want what, Nate?"

"I want you. I want to date you. I just didn't know it until tonight," He admitted.

"Nate, you only think you want to date me because I'm in this dress and we got caught up in everything before…you can't just suddenly decide you want to date me. I mean, if you were to change your mind tomorrow…I—I don't think I could take it," Ella told him as she studied her hands.

He pulled into the lot in front of the restaurant and parked. He turned and grabbed Ella's hands. "I don't think, I know. And this started long before I saw you in this dress, Ells. This morning when you said you had plans with someone else…ever since I've been driving myself crazy trying to figure out who you have plans with. I'm going insane, and I don't much like the idea of you being on a date with someone else tomorrow night. You should be dating me not…whoever this new guy is."

Ella grinned and slowly looked up at him. "Wait, you mean you were…jealous? All because I said I had plans?"

"Yes! Okay? Yes, I was jealous that you've got some guy I've never heard anything about until now. There, I said it. Happy?" Nate said with a huff.

"Yes, actually, I am," Ella said with a chuckle. "So, you're sure that you don't just want to date me because…of the circumstances of the evening?"

"I'm sure. Now I'm just waiting to hear you tell me the same thing," Nate said nervously. "Whoever your date is tomorrow can't know you as well I do. Really, Ella—"

She laughed softly and he cut himself off.

"What?" He asked worriedly. "What's so funny?"

"Nate," Ella said as she laughed again. "I never said I had a date. I just said I had plans."

"So, you don't have a date?" He asked.

She smiled and shook her head. "No, I have dinner with my dad. Every third Thursday of the month."

"Dinner…with your dad?"

She smirked at him. "Yes, dinner with my dad. Feel better now?"

He sighed in relief and smiled brightly. "Much. So, does that mean—is this a real date?"

She nodded and leaned forward to kiss his cheek lightly. "Yes, this is a real date."