GAH! This has been pestering me for, like, EVER! And it doesn't make sense, cause the song is actually super happy and all "don't worry, it'll be good", but I got THIS from it, which… makes no sense at all. AT ALL!
But whatever.
Yeah, a songfic, but it's more about the guys, and less about the song. Just… relax. I'm to angsty for it to NOT be EXTREMELY story-ish, so yeah.
Headphones
By Britt Nicole
He gave it his best; he tried to fit in.
He tried to be cool, but he never could win.
His mom says he's great, the kids think he's weird.
Honestly he wishes he could disappear.
Logan Mitchell shuffled into 2J, lip split and bleeding. Purpling bruises were forming over sickly yellow ones all over his torso and arms. Logan was hunched over, it too hard to breed when he stood up straight, and he was panting from the short walk down the hall from the elevator. Being beaten tended to take a lot out of him. Logan spotted Mrs. Knight on the orange couch, and quickly masked his face with his hand, trying to hide the worst of the damage. He winced when he heard her gasp behind him on his way to his room.
"Logan…" she looked at him, worried, "Again?" He shrugged, feeling awkward. She rushed over and cupped his face in her hands, bringing her thumb along a particularly painful bruise. Her eyes glittered with pity and concern. Logan turned away from her caring gaze, not quite sure what to do with it.
"It's not a big deal," he said with a shrug. She frowned in disbelief. She scoured over him, taking in all his new marks. She bore into him in a way Logan sometimes felt no one else wanted to. He bit his lip, trying to act as nonchalant as possible.
"Don't let what they say get to you, Logan," she said, reading him like a book. Logan looked at her and, for just a second, dropped his façade and let how he was really feeling show.
And he looked broken.
"You're great, and don't forget that, okay hun?" she told him, wanting that hurt to go away. Suddenly, Logan built his wall back up, and seemed once again impassive. He gave her a curt nod, and walked off towards his and Carlos's room, entering the Jack and Jill bathroom they shared with James and Kendall. He washed the blood off his lip and pulled at his tired face. This was getting old.
Why you try to be like the rest of them,
When you know there's so much more within?
There's only one you
Here's what you gotta do…
Logan knew he wasn't as nerdy as they thought he was, so why did he still feel this way. His friends didn't exactly know about everything that was going on, but they never hesitated to tell him he was great. Although… everyone else seemed to think otherwise. He worked so hard to fit in and make it stop, but no one cared. He was just lame, loser Logan, the kid everyone's hated since they met him.
He lifted his torn shirt to stare at the bruises hidden beneath. It was funny how self-conscious bullies could make him. For so long, he'd tried to not let them get to him, but now he couldn't stand it. He collapsed on his bed, clapping the lights off. His hand searched blindly in his nightstand drawer for his Ipod. He threw the buds in his ears and stuck it on shuffle.
Every time you feel alone put on your headphones
Love, love's coming through your headphones
Every time you feel alone put on your headphones,
Love, love's coming through your headphones
Love, love, love is coming through your headphones
Love, love, love is coming through your headphones
Logan let a smile creep onto his lips as the lyrics to 'Someday' blasted through his head. Suddenly, he didn't feel so lonely anymore. He grinned, feeling filled. Who cared what others thought when he had the guys, even when they weren't always there. Whether they were chasing the Jennifers, hanging with Jo, or buying man spray, Logan knew they always cared.
He gets in his car, he falls apart
It came to an end and now it's breaking his heart
He wants to give up, wants to try again
Honestly, he doesn't know what he's feeling.
Kendall slammed the door to his red convertible, hitting his steering wheel as hard as possible in a blind rage. Then, he collapsed onto the passenger seat, letting his sobs get the better of him. Soon, it was soaked with his tears. He couldn't take it, he just couldn't take it.
Jo had left him.
The worst part is, he didn't even know what he did wrong. It just seemed like she couldn't trust him at all, and had finally decided to stop trying and leave him behind. She said it wouldn't be as hard as he thought it was going to be. She said that there was more out there for him than her. She said he hadn't really loved her.
She was wrong.
His stomach flipped as he replayed their conversation in his mind. Upon further inspection, it suddenly seemed much more cold, and much more heart wrenching. Kendall couldn't breathe. He just couldn't breathe. He just missed her so much, and she hadn't even been gone for ten minutes. He couldn't feel anything but sorrow, and he was only sixteen. It was all he could do to sit up in the driver's seat, out of the sodden fabric of the seat he had been crying on earlier.
Hey, you might not see it with your eyes,
But keep your head up to the skies.
The sun is coming through,
Here's what you gotta do…
Kendall felt like the world was ending. Somewhere in the back of his brain, he knew that it would be okay eventually. There was a pep talk back there just dying to get out, but he was too stubborn to let it out. It was like his entire being just wanted to be sad. He wanted to look to the brighter side of things, but it seemed impossible. Your first real break-up was always consuming. He felt nauseous.
All he wanted to do was crawl in a hole and die, but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Besides, he was already in a place where the sun didn't shine. It would have to suffice.
Every time you feel alone put on your headphones
Love, love's coming through your headphones
Every time you feel alone put on your headphones,
Love, love's coming through your headphones
Love, love, love is coming through your headphones
Love, love, love is coming through your headphones
He put his key in the ignition, ready to go home, and the radio suddenly turned on at high volume. The words to "'Til I Forget About You" blasted through his speakers, and somehow a smile crept onto Kendall Knight's face. It was just the kick he needed, and memories of making the song and it's music video with his friends reeled in the back of his mind. Somehow, the loneliness of his break up twisted into something more loving. It was like being surrounded by his best friends, even when they're weren't beside him. The song comforted him, and he made his way home, hope miraculously restored in his heart.
So keep your head up high and dust off your shoulders
It's alright, no it's not over
Love is here, it's came to dry up all your tears
Oh can you feel it?
James was so tired of his life. Despite coming off as over-confident and egotistical, James was incredibly self conscious. Day after day, he resisted the urge pulling at him from the inside to duck his head, and spend the rest of his life staring at the floor. He felt like there was an unbearable weight on his shoulders that he just couldn't shrug off.
He faced the mirror for the ninth time that day, refusing to settle for anything less than perfection. He plucked at his bangs, attempting flawless placement. He couldn't take this anymore. It was this never-ending trial that he could never win. Now that he was in Hollywood, it seemed like things were getting worse.
Everyone else was just so naturally pretty, and it took him so much work. It was so over-bearing. He suddenly felt tears streaking his tanned cheeks, the ones he had spent hours on to achieve. He gropped for his Ipod.
Gotta believe it, Gotta see it
By your side in the middle of the night
So keep your head up high and dust off your shoulders
It's alright, no it's not over.
He needed to know he wasn't ugly, or that he wasn't another face. And if not that, at least know that there was something to him other than his appearance. He gave into the feeling constantly toying with him and let his gaze fall to his toes as he twisted the buds into his ears. He wasn't sure how it happened, but he almost subconsciously scrolled through his playlist, picking out 'Nothing Even Matters'.
Every time you feel alone put on your headphones
Love, love's coming through your headphones
Every time you feel alone put on your headphones,
Love, love's coming through your headphones
Love, love, love is coming through your headphones
Love, love, love is coming through your headphones
The song bore into him, for some reason. It just made him feel… whole.
Something about hearing him and the guys all together, it made up for all the lost feelings between them. I mean, it wasn't their fault that they didn't know, but the song… it's like they were there for him. Even when they weren't, he knew they were. Something about music seemed to pull them together in a way that was even closer than before. It surged through him and it was real. The pang of pain that had pierced him for so long seemed to dull, if only a little bit.
Twinkle, twinkle in your eye
Listen to this lullaby
The sun is shining in the sky
I see love, it's in your eyes
Carlos lay on the orange couch in 2J, staring at the ceiling with tears burning behind dry eyes. He missed his mom. Memories of her played through the theater in his mind, bringing an light to his eyes that couldn't be faked. He remembered that song she'd sing to him whenever he was sad, and how much he craved it after she was gone, and he really needed it.
He had honestly loved her, and now she was gone.
This ain't the first time you felt like this
This ain't the first time, this ain't the first time
this ain't the last time you felt like this
But it'll be fine, if you can just… smile
Carlos missed his mom whenever he was alone, but sometimes it felt like a constant ache consuming his heart. It was something that his friends just couldn't understand like he could. He got a bunch of empathy, and from Logan, sympathy, but that couldn't make the hurt go away forever.
He wished that it would just stop. As horrible as it was, he just wanted to forget his mom and move on with his life, but he knew that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. He just wanted it to all go away so he could stop feeling this way…
He flipped on the TV, hoping for some good-old comedy central to hold his interest long enough to make the 'bad thoughts' go away. He needed that.
MTV popped up on the flat screen.
Every time you feel alone put on your headphones
Love, love's coming through your headphones
Every time you feel alone put on your headphones,
Love, love's coming through your headphones
Love, love, love is coming through your headphones
Love, love, love is coming through your headphones
The music video for 'Oh Yeah' started playing in front of him. It wasn't primarily a helpful song to what he was feeling right then, but it didn't have to be. He just wanted his friends, without having to be embarrassed by 'missing his mommy'. He felt like they were together, and that's all he ever really needed.
For the boys, sometimes love came through a simple set of headphones.
Guys, I loved writing this. Although, the song isn't THAT poetic, and doesn't match the mood I made for it at ALL, but I had fun, okay?
So if you all who have me on Author Alert or those who just read it find this as a disappointment, sorry, guys!