New fanfiction! I own nothing but the tale that lies before you!

As Dante and Lady moved the remaining boxes left in the moving truck into the small dusty shop, Dante sighed unhappily as he observed the new location for Devil's May Cry. Dante was having money troubles in his previous location, a mysterious benefactor telling him that if he relocated, they would invest in Dante's shop. Dante had no choice, Lady and Trish both complaining when Dante had told them the news the previous day.

"New York City?" Lady asked with a skeptical look as Dante tried to shove a crossbow inside a shoe box. "All the way over there?"

"It sounds like too much of a hassle to me," Trish commented as she leaned up against a wall near Dante. "Why don't we try to make the best of where we are and figure something out?"
"Unless you two are about to get jobs at Burger King, we are screwed," Dante replied as he finally gave up with the crossbow and the box. "Actually, maybe you two can get jobs as strippers and I can be your pimp... I always wanted to get a fur coat..."

"OK, well working at fast food is out of the question," Lady said as she completely ignored Dante's idiocy. "So I guess it's to New York huh?"
"I guess it is," Dante replied as he sat down in his favorite chair. "But are you two...?" Lady and Trish both pulled out their guns and pointed them at Dante, Dante putting his hands up in protest.

"Where is Trish at anyway?" Lady asked Dante as she lugged her box of things into the small shop.

"Said that she had things to take care of and that she would be here later," Dante replied as he took a sniper rifle from one of the boxes. "Man I love this thing. I got to find a good use for this..."

"Hey losers!" a voice shouted as Dante and Lady looked around the room in surprise. "So you two ladies are the new meat huh?"

"Did you just call me a fucking lady?" Dante asked angrily as he pulled Ebony from his holster. "You must got a death wish pal..."

"That's actually Mr. Deadpool to you!" the voice shouted back as a man wearing a black and red jumpsuit jumped down from what seemed like the attic, coughing as he looked at Lady.
"Well hello new employee," the man said in a cool voice as he walked over to Lady. "First order I'm giving you as boss is to grow out your hair. You look like a browned haired version of that singing kid, what's his name? Oh yeah, Justin something." Dante chuckled as Lady looked at the masked man with disgust, stomping on his toe as hard as she could. The man jumped up and down as he held his toe, Lady smiling widely as she walked away.

"Not cool, not cool!" the man shouted as he finally stopped jumping around, Dante making his way over and placing Ebony and Ivory at the man's forehead.

"Alright clown, make me laugh," Dante muttered as the man looked at him. "Tell me why you graced us with your smell..."

"That's actually your breath," the man answered as Dante growled, preparing to shoot the crap outta this guy.
"Hey, I'm the only one who gets to make funny comments!" Dante shouted as the masked man laughed at this.
"You? You don't have the heart for it kid," the man replied as Dante growled again. "Especially with that Cabbage Patch haircut you got there." Dante's guns clicked as he prepared to shoot the man in the head, Lady gasping as she seen this.

"You were really going to shoot him Dante?" Lady asked as Dante looked at his guns with annoyance, realizing that the safety was on.

"Why the hell did I not take the safety off these things?" Dante wondered out loud as the man disappeared. He appeared behind Dante, two guns now pointed at his head.

"This guy is quick..." Dante thought as a bead of sweat dripped down his forehead. "Hmm, he's gonna give me the perfect welcoming party to this dump..."
"By the way, name is Deadpool," the man said as Dante snickered.
"Wow, that is by far the gayest name I ever heard before," Dante replied as Deadpool snickered.
"Hey, got a question. Do you have a regeneration factor?" he asked as Dante shook his head no. "Hmm, didn't think so... well, then here is a heads up for ya. This is gonna hurt like a bitch..." As he finished his sentence, Deadpool began to shoot off his guns, Dante, ducking away before getting any shots buried in him. He pulled out his sword quickly and slashed Deadpool's legs off, Deadpool fell to the ground, Lady gasping as she seen this occur.

"DANTE, ARE YOU CRAZY?" Lady shouted as Dante snickered, pointing his gun at Deadpool.

"Wow, foul ball!" Deadpool shouted from the ground. "You aren't supposed to bring a knife to a gun fight party! Everyone knows that!" Dante sneered as he pointed his gun at Deadpool's head.

"Yeah, well the party ends here for you," Dante replied as he shot Deadpool in the head, Deadpool's head falling to the side as a pool of blood surfaced under his body.
"Dante, why would you do something like that?" Lady asked as Dante shrugged.
"He called me a girl," Dante replied simply as he sat in his favorite chair. He pulled a bag of chips out of a box and started to munch on them, Lady shaking her head as she watched him.

"You know those chips are stale right?" Lady asked as she picked back up her box and stepped over Deadpool's body. "Ugh, you are cleaning this floor..." As she bent over, Deadpool sat up and grabbed her ass, Lady screaming as she turned around, pistols drawn. Dante looked over in shock as Deadpool got up from the floor, his legs somehow regenerated.

"Surprise!" Deadpool shouted as he threw his hands in the air. Dante and Lady looked at him with their mouths wide open as Deadpool chuckled.
"I got you guys good huh?" Deadpool asked as he laughed. "You can do whatever you want to me! I'm not gonna die because I've got a regeneration factor! Hey, pass those chips you got, I'm starving!" As Deadpool snatched the chip bag from Dante's hands, Dante looked at Deadpool with widened eyes, not knowing what to say. He looked back down at the ground, Deadpool's old legs still sliced up on the ground. He then looked back up at Deadpool and sighed.
"Why the hell are you here for?" Dante asked as Deadpool pulled up part of his mask, eating some of the chips.
"Mmmfmm," Deadpool replied with his mouth stuffed with chips. Dante and Lady looked at him with confused expressions as Deadpool swallowed his food.
"I said, I'm your mysterious benefactor, I'm your new boss!" Deadpool continued as Lady and Dante both gasped.
"N-No way..." Lady muttered as she thought about having to deal with this idiot every day. "I already have to deal with Dante..."

"Also, I want some buck for my money," Deadpool said as he finished the bag of chips and tossed the bag on the ground. "So, I set up that little practice test for ya. I wasn't too impressed. So me and you are going to go do a job. You down with that... Hey, what's your name poodle boy?"
"Dante..." Dante muttered with an annoyed glance.

"Daran, of course," Deadpool replied as he stretched a bit. "Anything that make ya special?"

"I'm a half demon," Dante replied as Deadpool chuckled.

"Wow, those demons these days sure don't know how to wear condoms," Deadpool joked as Lady and Dante both sighed. "Oh well, better half then completely useless right? Alright, first thing is we go to the store, I want Cheetos. Then we go on this mission and later go to get more Cheetos."
"What's this mission anyway?" Dante asked as Deadpool snickered.

"Ah, the usual boring crap, kill some asshole for doing something, all I really heard was the price I was getting paid," Deadpool replied as he pulled back down his mask. "So, ready to go then?"
"You are one crazy son of a bitch," Dante answered as he looked at Deadpool with disbelief. "But..." Dante broke out with a smile, patting Deadpool on the back as they headed out the door. "You sure do know how to party..." Lady sighed as she watched the two leave.
"Dante and Deadpool," she muttered as she sighed again. "This is going to be a very long... life..."

Deadpool and Dante are a new team! Prepare for the Merc with a Mouth to team up with Dante! New adventures are coming, but that depends on you! The usual thing, 5 review and I continue, blah. I only do that so I can actually work on stories people like and not just waste my time. So please tell me your feedback!

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