He eyed the twitchy man before him, unsettled by the way his hands squirmed in his lap. "Reid, it's okay to talk," he reminded as gently as he could. Spencer's eyes flickered up quickly before falling back down to stare at a pen in the middle of his desk. Hotch swiftly removed the pen and tucked it away into his breast pocket, watching as Reid literally shrank into himself.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," Reid said cautiously, his back stiffening when Hotch leaned forward to rest his elbows on his desk.

"I know that, but that's not why your here." Hotch tried to keep his voice as friendly as he could while maintaining his office voice. Reid scratched at his arms, hair falling down into his eyes as he ducked his head. "You don't have to tell me, but I'm listening if you want to talk." He didn't plan on saying anything that made Reid uncomfortable, just in case he wanted to pretend he had no idea what he was talking about. Much to his surprise, Spencer slowly raised his eyes.

"It's a support group..." he muttered, straightening in his chair, "I keep having cravings, I want to forget what I see, think, and feel." The words seemed to spill out before he could hold them back, a part of his dam cracking and leaking the secrets out "I keep having nightmares. I can feel Tobias holding me still, just like when I was younger. I can smell that cabin, I can hear the laughter. I can see Owen, so lost. I can see Adam, I can feel." Spencer was gasping now, his hand blindly searching for something on the desk to hold. Hotch's hand was what he found, and Aaron squeezed it tightly; even as Reid tried to jerk his hand back.

"You're not alone, you know," Hotch reminded him, "We all love you, and we understand you are suffering." He could feel the vibrations of Reid's tense muscles, even as he stoppedd trying to remove his hand. "It's okay, Spencer."

The use of his first name broke another crack in his dam, and Hotch heard him swallow roughly. He waited, knowing the silence would shattered what was left of his dam. It didn't take half as long as he thought, "I don't want to live anymore," Reid sobbed brokenly; crumbling forward and dropping to the floor. Hotch was there quickly, around the desk and kneeling before his broken friend before he could even sink all the way to the floor. He held on tight while Reid clutched at whatever part of him he could grab. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Reid said over and over again; and Hotch wasn't sure who he was apologizing to.

It didn't matter though, Hotch just kept reminding him it was okay.