The Meaning of Zero
"A Youji x Natsuo Fanfic"

We, who are named zero, are bound by a bond equal to the infinite yet lack importance. We can touch but not feel, eat but not taste, bleed but feel no pain. Even emotions come and go. We want more than ever to feel what others feel, that warm sensation…
But we were born differently.

"Argh! Come on!" Youji ranted as he stared angrily at the television screen. He clenched tightly to his video game controller, pressing buttons in annoyance. Natsuo sat quietly on the couch behind him, watching for entertainment. He rested his head against his hand that lay against the arm of his seat. Thinking about saying something, Natsuo held back his words, knowing that Youji would take offense.

Soubi entered the room holding some pastel paints and a cup filled with brushes.

"You're still playing that thing? If it bothers you that much, then play a different game." Youji pretended to not hear him which worked out because Soubi didn't even wait for a response before continuing up the stairs. Natsuo watched Soubi until he reached the stop and turned out of sight. Then he repositioned his head back to Youji who threw the controller down in front of the screen which read 'game over'.

"This game is boring. Let's do something else." said Youji, bluntly.

We, who are cursed with the name zero, are known as the infinite yet we are restrained. We will not sweat. We will not shiver. We wish we could walk through the snow and feel that coldness or stay out in the summer air….to feel that warmth.
But we are different and those are dreams.

"Yeah, but what should we do? It's too cold out to play outside. We'll freeze to death." Natsuo said sounding a bit disappointed. "There's no one to play with either…"

Having said that, they both turned towards the stairs and remembered the lanky figure that had came and gone just beyond those stairs.

"Let's find out what Soubi is up to." They said in unison.

Their heads slid out from behind the wall. They gazed over into his room but all they could see was a figure's back facing them. With cat-like stealth, Youji crept up to get a closer look, Natsuo shortly followed behind. As soon as they got as close as they could, they realized it was a statue or more like a sculpture. They both let out an 'awe' and fell to the floor.

"Well now what?" Youji said, aggravated. "It's just us in the house."

"I think we're at a loss."

"Let's go find Ritsuka." Youji suggested, knowing his partner's response already.

"You know we can't go outside. It's snowing!"

"It won't be for very long. Ritsuka's gotta live nearby. He comes over so often."

We, who are alive yet are nothingness, can only wish for ambitions. We want but not receive, breathe but not live, am but are not. We try our best to be accepted even if the consequences will end our struggle. We are bound to this earth as nothingness yet when we be who we are, our fate has become uncertain. We are the ones who can free ourselves from this life of nothingness.
Though we are different and things are not as easy as they seems.

Youji was the first to open the door and walk out into the snow. They both were wearing scarves, mittens, coats and hats. Their entire bodies were covered.

"I feel weird in all these layers." Natsuo said, knowing Youji had to feel the same.

"Alright, let's go!" He headed off to the left and walked along the street's edge.

A few minutes of silence passed and Natsuo finally asked, "Do you know where Ritsuka lives…?"

They stopped in their tracks and stood for a while, neither knew where the house was.

"I've never been to Ritsuka's house before… He always comes to Soubi's place."

"Yeah…" Natsuo said. He could tell that this trip was going to contain lots of dead ends.