A/N: YEAH! My first Final Fantasy XIII story! And it's a smutty yaoi ^_^ What could be better?

This first chapter is really...just Hope. The next chapter will actually be Snow/Hope but this chapter is Hope alone. Yeah, it's what you're thinking.

Also the title of this story and this chapter is from a song so a portion of the lyrics are at the bottom. The song is called Apple is A by a Korean group called T-ARA.

And I always apologize for any errors cause there are always errors haha. I feel like this one has a lot too cause I didn't read it over it, but ignore those and enjoy the story!

Hope didn't know what to think. He hated Snow. He blamed him for the death of his mother. He saw the whole thing happen. Snow let his mom go; he let her fall. Because of Snow he now only had one parent and it wasn't even the parent he preferred. Snow killed the one person Hope loved, trusted, and admired.

'So why do I feel this way?' Hope thought to himself.

He walked gradually along a path through a huge forest on Pulse. Everyone had been assigned jobs. Lightning and Snow were to set up camp, Fang and Vanille were to check for any dangers in the area they resided, and Sazh and Hope were to find food for everyone to eat. Both Sazh and Hope agreed that it would be quicker for them to split up and look for food. Hope was secretly grateful for that. He wanted some alone time to think about everything going on.

It gave him a headache to try to figure out everything. One day he was watching fireworks with his mom and the next day he was a L'cie. His mom was dead and he was depending on random strangers to take care of him. He was thrown into a world he had never known before and there was the possibility that he would become a monster at the end of his journey.

It didn't get as straightforward as that. However, his focus and the impending results of it weren't on his mind at all. It was Snow. No matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise, he really thought Snow was a cool guy. He wanted to hate him like he did in the very beginning. He wanted to feel the rage he felt before every time he looked at him, but he couldn't.

"Snow…is a hero," Hope said aloud. Snow saved him multiple times. Even after Snow knew Hope wanted to kill him, he still saved his life. He didn't have to, but he did and he did it without hesitation. The more Snow did for him the more Hope wanted to be around him.

"Maybe I just look up to him like a brother. I've never had one so it's understandable that I would want to know that feeling," once again Hope tried to convince himself that what he felt was nothing more than brotherly love.

"Strictly platonic," Hope said.

He decided to stop talking. He wasn't convincing himself of anything. If anything he was driving home the fact that the love he felt for Snow went deeper than just a brotherly connection.

He shook his head to try to focus back on his current mission: finding food. The others would never forgive him if he went back to camp empty-handed. Hope walked for a little more and found some trees with various fruits growing on them.

"Jack pot!" he yelled as he ran towards an apple tree.

He pulled an apple from the tree and leaned against the trunk as he bit into the fruit. It was delicious. He never thought he would appreciate a simple apple so much.

He sat on the ground and continued to lazily eat his apple. He wasn't ready to go back to camp yet. He rarely got any alone time so he treasured those few moments when he could sit and gather his thoughts. Unfortunately, his thoughts roamed back to a certain man whose name implied he was a form of weather.

"Snow. Snow, Snow, Snow," Hope said. He bit into his apple and lightly hit his head against the tree trunk.

'What if I just admit it?' Hope thought. 'What if I just come out and say it?'

Everything in the forest was silent. The birds had stopped the chirping, the wind had stopped blowing the tree branches, even the monsters had stopped howling and growling in the distance. Hope felt like the entire world was listening to him. He took a deep breath and finally said the words that had been toying with him in the back of his mind.

"I love him. I love Snow. I love Snow Villiers."

He said it. The world didn't come to end, his brand didn't suddenly erupt, turning him into a Cie'th; everything was still normal.

"I love Snow." Hope said again, this time with a little sadness. "I love him. I love him. I don't want to, God, I don't want to, but I do. I love him."

The more he said it, the more he realized how impossible it would be to get Snow to feel the same way as him. Not only was Hope just a teenager, but he had competition; competition who technically couldn't even compete.

"He has Serah. He'll never give her up. Even though she's a crystal he still believes she's alive out there somewhere. He doesn't want me," Hope finished his apple and reached up to pick another one off of the tree.

"Besides to him I'm just a kid. I don't have any experience with that type of stuff. I've never even…been kissed," a sigh escaped his mouth. He stared at his apple as if it were listening to him. "I wouldn't mind him being my first kiss. I wouldn't mind him being my first…everything."

Hope continued to stare at his apple. He was beginning to lose all hope that Snow would ever feel the same way he did. A few tears stung his eyes, but he quickly brushed them away. He brought the apple to his lips and kept it there.

"I want him to kiss me. I'm not as experienced as he is, but I could make him happy. He wouldn't mind showing me how to do those things. He really wouldn't," Hope pulled the apple away a little bit and imagined it was the object of his affection.

"Snow…please…." He whispered before he gently kissed the apple. He pecked at it a few times before he imagined Snow telling him to open his mouth. He did so and started to make out with the apple. A slight moan he tried to keep contained eventually came out. There was so much more he wanted Snow to do to him than just kiss him. He kept kissing the apple as he ran his hand along his chest. Another moan escaped his mouth as he pushed his hand under his shirt and squeezed his nipple.

For a moment he came to his senses and thought that what he was doing was silly. He was in the middle of a forest, making out with an apple that he imagined was Snow, and touching himself. He was about to stop when an image of Snow shirtless flashed across his mind. He squeezed his nipple harder and lightly bit into the apple. Some juices escaped the apple when he bit into it and dribbled down his chin. He licked the apple to get the remaining juices off of it and then went back to kissing it.

A hand, which Hope seemed to forget was his own, started to make it's way down his body. Hope grabbed his groin and gave a small cry as he did so. He gently rubbed it, not realizing how hard he actually was. He moaned more as he rubbed his body and finally started to unzip his pants.

He pulled his hardened member out and started to gently slide his fingers over it. It was difficult for him to resist the urge to cry out so he pulled the apple away from his mouth and gave a load moan. He started breathing heavily as he toyed with himself. He gently brushed the tip of his member, causing a shudder to go through his entire body.

He finally couldn't take much more and he grabbed his member roughly and began to pump it. He moved his hand up and down and cried out with each movement. He forced the apple back in his mouth, afraid that if he cried too loudly the others would hear him and come running to make sure he was okay. That was the last thing he wanted.

He started to pump faster, making his cries grow louder and louder. He was really starting to get scared that the others would hear him. He held the apple in his mouth and used his free hand to squeeze his nipple. He squeezed as hard as he could, imagining that Snow was biting down on it. He knew he was almost there. He just needed something to push him over the edge.

In his mind's eye he imagined lying in bed with Snow. It was Snow who was pumping him and it was Snow's lips capturing his own. Snow's free hand trailed down Hope's body and reached his buttocks. Snow smiled into the kiss as he pushed one of his fingers inside Hope.

And that was all Hope needed. He released into his hand and bit down so hard on the apple he bit a chunk out of it. He sat still for a while, catching his breath while slowly chewing on the remains of the apple in his mouth.

"Oh, Snow…." he whispered. He continued to imagine him and Snow together. He wanted so desperately for Snow to be there to hold him and tell him he loved him. However as much as he wished it, a voice in the back of his mind told him he would never stand a chance with him.

"I love you, Snow."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to try to regain his focus.

"I…should go back." He said slowly. His eyes were glazed over and he moved with the speed of snail as he zipped his pants back up and gathered a few more apples to give to his team.

It took him a lot longer than he thought to make it back to camp. When he got there he realized Sazh had made it back before him. However, it seemed he had also found food so Hope's apples became more of a dessert to everyone.

"Are those apples? Great job, Hope! I love those things!" Snow jumped up to greet Hope. He grabbed the boy's shoulder and looked at him, the smile on his face turning into a concerned frown.

"Are you okay, Hope? You look a little out of it," Snow said, kneeling down to look Hope in the eyes. Lightning stood up behind him, also concerned about Hope's state.

"No, I'm fine, Snow. I'm just really tired. I'm so sleepy." Hope took advantage of the opportunity before him and walked closer to Snow, resting his head on the older man's shoulder.

"Is that so?" Snow said as he motioned for Vanille to get the apples out of Hope's arms. When she did so, Snow stood and walked Hope to a blanket that was to be his bed. Hope immediately laid on it and turned to his side, ready to fall asleep. He wasn't lying down long when he felt something cover his body. He opened his eyes and realized Snow draped his trench coat over him so he could use it as a blanket. Hope smiled as Snow's scent surrounded him. Why was Snow always so good to him?

"Snow," he whispered affectionately, unknowing that everyone had clearly heard him.

Hope fell asleep quickly, missing the blush that crept onto Snow's face when he said his name. He missed the jokes and teases about him and Snow and he missed how Snow laid down next to him just to spite the others.

However, the sleeping Snow would not go unnoticed by the young boy once morning came.

You're so sweet sweet

You're so thrilling thrilling

Your face is so handsome handsome

Your words are so kind kind

I think I fell in love too deep at first sight

You're the guy I've been waiting for

I fell into your heart

I think I love you

Can't you hear my beating heart?

Why do you keep me waiting?

A/N: Making out with an apple...Hellz yeah! *thumbs up*