Pumped full of nutrients and glucose, it still took Cassandra weeks to be able to leave the sickbay again; normal food, she was told, maybe in slightly larger portions, would restore her further. And rest, of course. She had been sleeping a lot, but these last few days only at night, so she had, after finally leaving the sickbay, taken up quarters in the cell the Brotherhood had assigned to Fawkes.
Her body had healed well enough, but she doubted that her soul ever would. The Brotherhood medics had fought long and hard, but in the end, they had lost the fight that most likely could never have been won. She had known from the beginning that this would happen one day, but that didn't make the pain any easier to bear.

As she sat down on the bed to wipe spilled milk from breasts that still tried to give nourishment although there was no one any more to take it, she realized that he was watching her intently without moving.
Suddenly aware that she was sitting there bare-breasted made her terrible self-conscious, but looking at him and the way he looked at her she leaned back, feeling the blood gush in her ears. The memory came back of their reunion, when all she had wanted was to have him right there, in Agatha's old and creaking bed. She closed her eyes, momentarily lost in an emotional maelstrom of loss, regret, pain, desire and lust.
But looking at him, she thought that life had well a little more to offer than pain and regret, hurt though as the memories might. She managed to push those aside as she watched him watching her. There was a promise of comfort in his arms. Maybe there she could forget about everything else for a while.

"Cassandra", he said as he walked up to the bed and slowly sat down beside her. "I know you might be afraid of… it happening again, but…"
She tilted her head to one side. "Short of us not being together any more, I don't see how we could avoid it."
"I have…" he took a deep breath. "I have talked with the doctors. And I have come to a decision. Believe me, if I could go back in time and undo the damage I did to you, I would. But as it is…" He avoided her eyes for a moment and looked back as he took her hand in his. "As it is, I have taken proper precautions that it will not happen again. I shall not cause you any more pain, if I can avoid it."

It took Cassandra a while before she understood the meaning of those words. And when she finally did, she felt dismayed and abashed that he would go to such lengths; take such steps to protect her soul from any more harm. And realizing this, all feelings of shyness suddenly vanished and she wanted nothing more than be close to him again, feel him and his love, despite the pain she would experience along with it. It was part of him, and part of them. And she wanted him. She wanted him badly, very suddenly.

"Fawkes", she whispered. "If I don't get you now I must die."
"I would not like to answer for that", he gave back in a husky voice and straightened up to rid himself of his own shirt. And after staring down at her for a few heartbeats, he let himself fall down beside her and their lips met in kiss so fierce and hungry as if they were trying to make up for the lost time all in one go.
With gasping breaths she raked her nails down his back as he tore the last clothes first off her and then off himself, and when he finally threw himself on top of her, she suddenly realized that she had exchanged one pain for the other. That however heavy her loss, she had gained something in return.
Giving birth had not scarred or damaged her, as she had feared, but had altered her physiology somehow, and she felt his surprise as much as her own at the complete absence of the pain they both so clearly remembered.

Sweating, with only slowly calming heartbeats, they held onto each other tightly afterwards, filled with warm, deep satisfaction, for the moment. Both knew that their hunger had been denied for too long to be sated by this one time, but for now, this moment in time, everything was almost perfect.

Ever felt away with me

Just once that all I need

Entwined in finding you one day

Ever felt away without me

My love, it lies so deep

Ever dream of me

Would you do it with me

Heal the scars and change the stars

Would you do it for me

Turn loose the heaven within

I'd take you away

Castaway on a lonely day

Bosom for a teary cheek

My song can but borrow your grace

Come out, come out wherever you are

So lost in your sea

Give in, give in for my touch

For my taste for my lust

Your beauty cascaded on me

In this white night fantasy

"All I ever craved were the two dreams I shared with you.

One I now have, will the other one ever dream remain.

For yours I truly wish to be."