Disclaimer: iCarly belongs to Dan Schneider & Nickelodeon. If this were not so, it would be an impossibility it would win three years in a row. Or any years at all. (Although it would have a different name.)

iCan't Freakin' Believe It
An (Extremely Long, At Least For Me) iCarly Oneshot

"And that concludes this episode of iCarly!" yelled Carly.

"So until next time..."

"Lick a duck,"

"Recycle your peanut butter,"

"And don't forget to shave your Gibbys!"

Both girls half-chuckled. "Bye!"

"I'm still on a cow!"

"Gibby!"

"And...we're clear," said Freddie as he shut off the camera. "Great show guys."

"Thanks," they said simultaneously.

It was at that point that Brad decided to enter the studio. He was of course there because the trio decided that even though Cort didn't work out, they should give Brad a chance. (Plus Sam really wanted more of his fudge...)

"You guys done with the webshow?"

"Just finished," answered Freddie.

"Cool beans. Hey, have you guys heard anything about the lock-in?"

"Lock-in?" asked Carly. Sam just looked on in boredom.

Always the knowledgeable one, Freddie answered: "It's where they lock you in school for a whole night, and you're only allowed to leave if a parent or guardian comes to get you."

"That sounds really interesting..." Sam commented.

Carly, of course, looked over at her in shock. And then a thought started forming in her head...

The real idea came to her in Science class the next day.

"Scared, Benson?"

"No way, Puckett." They were staring each other down, neither one giving in.

Sam smiled. "Bring it on."

Freddie put his arm out on the table, and Sam followed suit. He was scared of any and all pain that this event might bring, but he wasn't about to back down. "Carly, get the timer ready."

He stretched briefly, returning it once she had her PearPhone out and ready. "Ready, and...go!"

Carly, Gibby, and six or so other students (AN: I just realized there are eight students there. Yay for the official Seddie number!) cheered wildly as Sam and Freddie struggled for dominance. They remained perfectly balanced until slowly, Sam started overpowering him. The crowd cheered.

"No making out, no alcohol, nor intercourse of any kind!" shouted Mr. Howard as he stood at the forefront of the cafeteria. "And one more thing, no leaving the premises without parental consent! I hope you have a terrible time."

Carly smiled absentmindedly as he walked down the steps cautiously, paranoid of anything the "menaces of society" called Ridgeway High students might have laid out for him.

Freddie, to her right, was messing around on his PearPhone, oblivious to the world around him. (For the record, he was texting his mother to assure her that no, he was not 'injured'.) Gibby, to her left, was rubbing lotion on his belly button. Brad, on Freddie's right, was looking over some papers Mrs. Murdock had given them.

Sam, of course, was nowhere to be found.

"Hey, have you guys seen Sam?"

Gibby shook his head, Brad answered "no", and Freddie looked kinda POed.

"Oh man, she said she'd be a test subject for our science project! Brad and I made a PearPhone app that can tell exactly what emotions you're feeling. We wanted to try it out on people. Sam especially because her moods are always the most...defined." For lack of a better word.

"Oh, cool."

He raised his eyebrow. "Do you really think so?"

"No..." she admitted.

He rolled his eyes and walked back to the study lounge, where he and Brad had everything set up.

"Alright, Gib, if you'll just sit in that chair over there, we'll get started."

"'Kay." He sat down, looking in awe at the pear-shaped device right in front of him. "Whoa, is this a new Pear product?"

Freddie looked up for a brief second before returning his gaze to his typing fingers. "Yeah, it's called a PearReader." Gibby nodded. Suddenly the device beeped, and Freddie's PearPhone lit up orange. "Test subject wants to take his shirt off."

"That's so true!" Gibby jumped up suddenly, and ripped his shirt off, running from the room. "Yeah!"

Sam, standing behind Freddie, rolled her eyes. Carly immediately filled the vacant seat. "I gotta go work on my project with Wendy soon, so I'm gonna go next, okay?"

"I don't care," said Sam.

"Ocho," said Freddie. As it had before, the PearReader beeped and Freddie's PearPhone lit up; this time yellow. "Test subject is happy and content."

Carly smiled, only proving the app's accuracy. "Alright, well I gotta go! Have fun!"

The door behind them closed shut, and Freddie turned to Sam. "It's your turn, you promised."

She groaned, obviously not wanting to sit in that chair. "No, I don't wanna..."

"Sam," he reprimanded.

"Fredweird," she defiantly responded.

"You can't just go back on your word like that!"

"I can do whatever I want, Benson!"

He sighed. "I'll buy you a bucket of fried chicken tomorrow after we're released, okay?"

She seemed to debate internally with herself for a bit, before giving in. "Mama does like her chicken." Sam sat down in the designated chair, trying her best to keep up her poker face. It took much longer than the previous two times, but eventually the PearReader beeped. Freddie's phone lit up purple, and he immediately looked up at Sam in shock.

He couldn't even read the result aloud.

"Carly!"

Carly turned from where she and Wendy had been working on homework to see Freddie running toward them with his laptop in hand. "Oh, hey, Freddie? What's wrong?"

"I need to talk to you, now, please."

"Um, okay. Be right back,"

"Hurry," Wendy joked.

Hurriedly, the two rushed into the nearest classroom. "Okay, what's the deal?"

"Okay, you know how when I left, I was about to test Sam on the MoodReader app?"

"Yeah..." she replied, not quite sure where this was going.

"This was her result."

He then opened his laptop to where the results were still proudly displayed in 14 point Arial font: Test subject is in love, and slightly hungry.

"Oh my god... Sam's in love?"

"Yeah, any idea with who?"

Carly seemed to ponder this for a moment, before suddenly shouting out. "Brad!"

Confusion was apparant on his face. "Huh?"

"When we were doing iCarly, Brad mentioned the lock-in, and Sam said it sounded 'interesting'! In a totally serious voice! Remember? I thought she might like him, but oh my god, Sam's in love with Brad!" she squealed.

"Don't you think you might be reading too much into this?"

"No! Just...trust me on this."

He shook his head, but decided not to push the issue further. "Alright, then."

"Well, I should probably go. Wendy would want to know this info anyway, if she doesn't already-"

"How would she-"

She walked out the door, but turned around to face him once more. "She has her ways."

Finally, Carly and Wendy reached a standstill in their project, and Carly decided that she needed to go find Sam and talk some sense into her before it was too late.

They were currently in front of their lockers, talking about crushes. Carly admitted that she might just feel a little something for their weird friend Gibby, hoping it would spur on Sam to reveal the boy she was in love with. So far she was having no such luck, and her patience was running thin.

Wringing her hands and putting her game face on, she shouted almost suddenly: "I know you love Brad!"

Sam looked up from her sandwich and almost choked. "What?"

"Freddie told me about the MoodReader result, and it makes sense! I saw the way you were looking at him when we were in the studio yesterday."

"I don't love Brad!" It wasn't a lie.

"Admit you love him!"

"No!" She leaned forward, sticking her hand sarcastically on the brunette's shoulders. "I have to turn my back on you now." Taking one final bite of her sandwich, she stormed off, leaving Carly standing there looking dejected. When suddenly, Freddie walked up.

"Hey,"

"Hi,"

He raised his eyebrow. "What's up with the chizzy attitude?"

"Sam wouldn't admit she loves Brad."

"Oh,"

"So," Carly said, changing the subject. "Your project was a complete success, huh?"

"Mhm. We'll definitely-"

Freddie (AN: I accidently typed Nathan at first xD) was interrupted by the sound of Spencer screaming. "Carly!"

He was right standing right in front of them now.

"Hey, Spence."

"Is something wrong?"

"Yes! The little girl that looks suspiciously like a mixture of Sam and Freddie is back!"

Carly and Freddie looked at each other in confusion. "What?"

"Never mind that! I just..." He grabbed Carly up in a swept-off-your-feet kind of hug. "Missed you, and... can I stay here?"

"What?" It suddenly popped in her mind how Spencer could just show up at any moment when Sam was trying to confess her feelings to Brad. He did tend to do that whenever Carly would confront Sam about any possible feelings for Freddie (though that thought was preposterous, of course). Speaking of Freddie... Carly was now back on the ground, smiling at him.

He, of course, tried to run. But he didn't succeed.

Finally he was sent off with but one command: Find a way to restrain Spencer.

Wendy, of course, was the first to volunteer to help him. How did she even know about it? She was nowhere near them!

"So, what's the plan?"

"Um, I don't know. We just gotta find some way to restrain Spencer until Sam confesses to Brad that she's in love with him."

Wendy stared at him for a moment longer than she needed to. "Are you sure it's Brad she's in love with?"

"Well, that was Carly's theory anyway."

"Do you want her to be right?"

That question really caught him off guard. He was about to reply when he saw Spencer walking towards him in the hallway. (Honestly, he was surprised a teacher hadn't approached him yet and asked him what the chiz he was going.)

"Hey, Freddo!"

Spencer's distractions weren't always unwelcome.

"Hey. Spencer?"

"Yeah?"

He suddenly had an idea. "Um, my friend Jayden (he didn't know anyone with that name to be honest, but hey, Spencer didn't have to know) has this Science project for Mr. Henning, and he needs someone to test it out. You game?"

"Ooh!" squeeled Spencer. "That sounds exciting."

"Alright, this way." Freddie led Spencer to the Science room, while Wendy followed them in complete confusion. "This is it!"

Catching on, Wendy opened the big glass door for him. "You enter right through here."

"Whoa!" he said, stepping inside. "This is so cool." Suddenly, Wendy slammed the door shut and Freddie put the lock on it. They trapped Spencer in the Science room shower. Quickly, before he could protest, they activated the shower. When it finally shut itself off, the partners-in-crime were gone. "Oh, come on!" he whined. All fully-clothed and wet.

Carly peeked around the corner and squealed. Her plan was so working!

Brad and Sam were standing over by the water fountain, talking and laughing about who-knows-what. It didn't really matter - things were going perfectly. Suddenly, Sam threw him a smile before walking off.

Better act fast! she thought, before proceeding to run after her.

She found Sam giving a wedgie to Shawn, the boy who kept asking Carly to be his girlfriend after Principal Franklin was fired.

"Sam!"

Startled and suddenly released by his underpants, Shawn fell to the floor. Sam just stared at him before redirecting the eye contact to her best female friend. "Hey Carls, what's shaking?" she asked with a slight dance.

Carly took in her surroundings. They were in the Science room once more - Spencer was still in the shower, just in the corner, sleeping. "So, any new boyfriends you'd like to tell me about?"

Her face fell. "You're still on this?"

Silently sensing the tension, Shawn crawled from the room.

Carly sighed. "Yes. Don't you want a nice boyfriend? Go for it - make a move!"

She leaned back on the door to Mr. Hennings room in annoyance. "I don't... I don't like Brad."

"Of course you don't, you love him! And that's okay, it's okay to feel those things."

"Carly I really don't-"

"You act like you're such a tough girl, but really you're just scared! You're scared to be rejected, but in the off chance that you are, you should know that you have Freddie and me here for you." Freddie. Funny that nub would be mentioned here. "We won't let you do this to yourself Sam... You have to tell him."

Her words got to her more than she realized. "Okay."

She sounded so broken, and it pained Carly to see her in such agony. Leaning forward, she hugged her as tight as she could. "It's like arm wrestling."

Sam spent the next half hour walking around the student-littered building in a zombie-like trance.

World War Three was raging on in her head. She knew she promised Carly she'd reveal her feelings to the boy she had fallen for - even though the prissy brunette had the entirely wrong guy in mind - but she just couldn't help shaking the feeling that he would reject her. Or laugh in her face. Or just walk away. She just couldn't handle it...it would become a weakness, an extra bag to carry around.

And besides, he had been in love with Carly for the past five years; she didn't see that changing anytime soon. You didn't just 'fall' out of love. (Ergo - aside from the hope that it had never been love to begin with - it was hopeless.)

She snuck a peak of him in the computer lab - he was editing iCarly clips, of course - but she didn't draw his attention to him in the slightest. Not even a "Hey, Benson!" or an insult to his mother. She just walked by, that vulnerable look still playing dominant on her features. Of course, she tried to hide it. But even though she was a good liar, she had to draw the line somewhere.

She just really wanted to go home right now. But of course Mr. Howard just had to make it so clear that no one was allowed to leave unless a parent or guardian came to pick them up. (Her father had left her when she and Melanie were but two, and her mother was off on a drunken date with an electrician...'s half-brother. (His name was Greg. How chizzin' awesome.) So there was no chance of that.)

Her inner battle was disturbed when Carly reappeared. (For the record, she had no idea where the girl ran off to.) She didn't have a lot to say - in fact she could only remember two words: "Come on!"

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see..." Sam really hated when Carly adapted that tone of voice. That was her *ninja* voice.

"Ughh. Can we at least get some food before we go there? Unless we're going to a concession stand!" She was getting herself all excited now...

...fueled on even further by Carly's response: "We're going to the cafeteria, if you must know."

"Shoosh yeah!" she rubbed her belly. "Mama could use a snack."

"Oh, you'll be snacking on something alright." Carly pushed on one of the double doors, revealing a completely-vacant cafeteria, save for Brad standing there aimlessly.

"Um, what's going on here?"

Carly promptly pushed Sam next to Brad. This was all a part of her latest scheme.

She figured the only reason her last attempt failed is because they were in a fairly populated area, and Sam didn't exactly like being 'open' with her feelings. This, however, was fool-proof. Carly had told all the students (and one really weird cafeteria lady) that Sam was going to be professing her love to a certain techie, and therefore needed to be alone. The cafeteria ladies that weren't Meridith - seriously, really weird lady - she just had to pay twenty bucks each to, and they were convinced.

Everyone seemed to assume she was talking about Freddie though...oh well. What they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

She turned out the lights, then smiled. "I'm not coming back..."

Cue Brad and Sam looking at each other with a very weird look on their faces, before they turn away from each other, eventually deciding to sit down at a table in the middle of the room. (After Sam made sure he bought her a fat cake from the machine, of course.)

"So, what's this all about?"

"Your stupid MoodReader app said I was 'in love', and now she and Freddie are convinced it's you. Sorry, but I only like you for your fudge."

He chuckled. "Good, 'cause I have a girlfriend."

She smiled too, biting into her Fat Cake. "Yeah, try explaining that to Carly Shay. When she's got an idea in her head, she just won't. Let. It go."

"Try telling her who you're really in love with."

She cautiously made eye contact. "It's not that easy."

"Sure it is. All you gotta say is 'Carly, I don't love Brad. I love Freddie.'"

Choking on the fatty goodness in her mouth, she could've sworn her heart stopped beating in that very moment. "Frednub? Why would I love him?"

"Defensive much? But seriously, everyone can see it." He shook his head, standing up from his chair. "Would you really invest so much time and energy in a person you hate?"

Close to tears, Sam pulled two bobby pins out of her hair and began picking the lock on the back door of the cafeteria. She wasn't supposed to leave - and she knew it - but she just couldn't stand being in there with Carly, Freddie, and Brad anymore.

She didn't have feelings for the Freddie-clone...but it seemed the only one who believed her was the clone himself.

Once in the "breezeway", dubbed as such because she had no clue nor care as to what it was really called, she let it all out. Screaming, she picked up a lone rock on the ground and threw it hard as she could on the one of Ridgeway's side walls.

Freddie was lying on his back in the school hallway, throwing a small rubber ball into the air and catching it whenever it came back down. Carly was pacing. Pacing. Back and forth. Endlessly.

"This wait is killing me."

He sighed, sitting up. "Sam can take care of herself, she doesn't need supervision..." Thinking of things that might happen if the Puckett was left to her own thoughts, he decided to correct himself. "All the time."

"I know!" she screeched. "It's just, I wanna know what's going on! My plan has failed once already, and now that I have no way of watching..."

"Where exactly are they?"

"The cafeteria. I left them alone in there like an hour ago."

"Here," he volunteered. "If it'll make you feel better, I'll go check on them."

Carly stopped pacing the hallway and removed her fingers from her face. "Okay...but hurry back."

"No worries."

It was dark, that much he could fathom. With the lights still being out from Carly's little plan, and the fact that it was approaching nightfall outside, he could only see for about ten feet in front of him. Suddenly he heard a very Sam-like grunt, and a loud banging noise. (And once he got his mind out of the gutter, he proceeded to follow the noise to its source.)

"Sam?"

Another grunt, another rock thrown. "What do you want Fredweiner?"

"To talk."

"I don't want to talk." She was now in front of him, giving the glare-down he used to cower in fear from. But not anymore.

"Sam...listen. I know you really like Brad, and I figure its not easy to plan your next move with Carly breathing down your neck the entire time." Sam thought about interrupting him to deny any and all feelings for the fudge-making male, but eventually gave up in lieu of listening to what his pizza-making clone was saying. "So I'm going to give you some advice, and you can do what you want with it, alright?"

She said nothing, just nodded solemnly.

He continued. "I know, it's scary for you to put your feelings out there, 'cause you never know if the person you like is gonna like you back. But you never know what might happen..."

She had her eyes set on him the entire time, and she could even feel some tears welling up. Finally she just couldn't take it anymore and she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her lips firmly against his. They kissed for a good eight seconds until Sam pulled back, embarrassed she had let her self-control slip like that.

She began to back up, before Freddie reached out and gingerly grabbed her hand. It was almost like the arm wrestling earlier (what with the hand-holding and eye contact), only much more tender and meaningful. He leaned in this time, kissing her passionately for well beyond the first. He nibbled on her lip for a bit before resorting to pecking her lips playfully. He could feel Sam smiling behind it, and admittedly, he was smiling back.

When he realized what he was doing, he pulled back suddenly.

"I..." need some time to think would have been sufficient, or maybe even think I feel the same. He never got the chance to choose, however.

"Just forget about it." The vulnerable look she was sporting earlier had returned.

"Sam!" But she was gone.

He raised his hand to his lips. Before this day, he had never explored the possibly of him and Sam Puckett dating. And now...

He really needed a nap.

And that concludes this chapter of iCan't Freakin' Believe It by xHelloEliana, the iOMG episode that is of much lesser quality than the greatness that we all know Dan is going to bring to the table on April 9th! :)) haha.

Lots of Love, Ellie!