A/N: This is set during The Stolen Earth.

Chapter One

"Wow, I still can't believe we're in London," Leonard said while he and his friends, Raj, Howard and Sheldon walked down a busy sidewalk.

They were in London to attend a physics conference. Raj, Sheldon and Leonard had been invited and Howard tagged along with them after convincing his mother that he was spending the weekend in Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. Now Howard was eyeing the women around him like a kid in a candy store.

"Oooh yeah," he said as his eyes settled on a tall, statuesque blonde near them. "Rule Britannia indeed."

"Come on, Howard, can't you keep it in your pants for once?" Raj said with a sigh.

"At least I can talk to women without the aid of alcohol," Howard retorted.

"At least I'm not a man whore who dreams of bedding every woman in the world," Raj shot back.

"Guys, please," Leonard said, "will you shut up? I'm tired of hearing this same argument over and over. We're in London so let's try to enjoy ourselves, alright?"

Howard was about to say something back when suddenly he and everyone else were jerked off their feet. They hit the ground as everyone around them screamed in terror and the Earth shook below them. Even though it was eight in the morning, the world suddenly turned dark and the four friends held on to each other, praying they wouldn't die. Then suddenly, the earthquake stopped and everything became still. Leonard raised his head and looked around but he couldn't see any earthquake damage. He frowned when he saw it was night.

"Um, fellas, can an earthquake be so powerful it pushes the Earth ahead twelve hours?" he said.

"I have a better question," he heard Sheldon say.

He glanced over at Sheldon who was lying on his back, staring up at the sky.

"Yeah?" Leonard said.

"How are we able to breathe and stay warm without the sun?" Sheldon said as he continued to stare up.

"Sheldon, it's night," Leonard said condescendingly. "the sun's on the other side of the Earth now."

"Really, then what are all these other planets doing here? Were they partying with the sun and stayed around after he left?" Raj said.

Leonard looked at him and noticed he and Howard were also on their backs looking up at the sky. He turned onto his back and his eyes bugged out when he saw several unfamiliar planets clustered together in the night sky.

"And now that you've finally turned around and see what we see, I'll repeat my earlier query," Sheldon said, keeping his eyes to the sky. "How are we breathing and keeping warm because judging from the colors in the sky, the Milky Way has either merged with the aurora borealis or the Earth has somehow moved out of orbit."

"How?" Leonard said. "It can't have moved out of orbit! There's nothing big enough to shift the Earth out of orbit. This must be some kind of delusion."

"Well, if this is your delusion, will you please keep it to yourself?" Howard said. "I'd like to go back to imagining the sky as it was, thanks."

"Maybe this is the end of the world," Raj said as they got to their feet.

"Well, if it is, I say we have a quick round of end of the world sex with some of these British babes around us, who's with me?"

Everyone gave him a dirty look.

"It was only a suggestion," Howard muttered with a shrug.

The four of them walked down the sidewalk, going around the people who were still standing around and gawking at the sky. Then further up the road, they heard breaking glass and the sounds of people rioting.

"Oh goody, panicky human herd behavior, my favorite," Sheldon said as they watched others running towards the sounds of the melee and saw a few beginning to break some of the shop windows around them.

They heard a thunk and turned to see Raj with a rock in his hand. They looked at the shop window beside them and saw a similar rock lying on the ground under it. They looked at Raj.

"Peer pressure?" he said, dropping the rock to the ground.

"So…" Howard said, watching the rioters, "if this is the end of the world and everyone is rioting and looting, I vote for finding the swankiest hotel in the city, breaking into it and dying in a nice posh room. Who's with me?"

"I vote we save the planet," Raj said.

Everyone looked at him and he shrugged.

"If the planet is out of orbit, who better to get it back in orbit than physicists," he said.

"And how do you suggest we do that, Raj?" Sheldon said, folding his arms over his chest. "Because I'm pretty sure they don't have planet sized tow trucks lying around. And as much as I hate to say it, none of us are Superman, so what do you have in mind?"

"I don't know, that's why we need to go somewhere and brainstorm," Raj said.

"There's that swank hotel idea. We could think better in a nice comfy room," Howard said. "I say we go and find…hellooooo, gorgeous."

Everyone looked at him and saw him looking past them with lust in his eyes. They turned and saw a blonde woman walking past them. She was dressed in black trousers and a purple leather jacket. She had a determined look on her face and she was carrying some sort of strange metal gun. They looked at Howard and noticed him starting to walk towards her.

"Howard!" Leonard said, stepping in front of him. "No, we need to think up a way to save the Earth."

"And she has a gun which could prove helpful so we need her. Now, excuse me, while I try to recruit her."

Everyone sighed as Howard hurried past them.

"So…Howard's officially out of our save the world thinktank," Sheldon said.

"That's okay," Raj said. "The only thing he could have done to help was install the toilets in the planet-sized tow trunk."

He and Leonard sniggered at that while Sheldon rolled his eyes. Meanwhile, Howard had caught up to the gorgeous blonde. He tapped her on the shoulder and she spun around, gun at the ready.

"Easy, Calamity Jane, I just wanted to talk to you for a moment," Howard said, holding up his hands.

"Sorry, bit busy at the moment," the woman said.

"Yeah, but…the world is ending and I think you're the hottest chick I've ever seen in my life. How would you like a kosher weiner inside you? After all, you know what they say, once you go Jew…"

Howard paused, struggling to come up with an ending to that while the woman glared at him. He gave her a sheepish look.

"Um…hurray for you?" he finished weakly.

"Goodbye," the woman said.

"No, wait," Howard said, getting in front of her. "I mean, obviously, you're a strong, courageous woman who has come here to kick ass. My friends and I are going to try to save the world before it collapses and burns and we need a bit of firepower to back us up."

"Sorry, there's only one man who can save us now and I have to find him, now if you'll excuse me."

"But, babe, listen to me…"

He gasped when the woman shoved the gun in his face and he held his hands up.

"Or…I can back away and leave before I'm blasted to bits," Howard said, quickly backing away.

The woman snorted and stomped past him. Howard gazed at her, his eyes staring at her ass with longing.

"Well, is Amazon Woman going to help us?"

Howard looked at Raj when he heard his voice. He and the others were standing in front of him.

"I have a feeling that the answer is no since she seems to be putting as much distance as she can between you and her as quickly as she can," Sheldon said.

"Ah, we don't need that steroid laden bitch," Howard said, waving his hand dismissively. "We four are all the Earth needs as its saviors. Come along, gentlemen. We have a planet to save!"