Part 4 - Heartbreak

Ethan wasn't sure exactly where he was going to begin with, but around the time he passed through the doors of Abstergo's central security wing he realized where he was going, where he needed to go. The halls were empty, the first rays of morning light finding its way through the narrow cross windows. As the seconds passed Ethan's footsteps quickened, till he was nearly running with only two hallways to go.

If he could get to the tapes he could delete the evidence, then it would be just words and crazy allegations. Provided they didn't have backups, and he could delete them at all. However that still left a whole ton of missing footage, and that would be suspicious to say the least. Still it was a heck of a lot more hope than he had had a few minutes ago.

It was almost comedic what happened next, the hero so close to his goal that you were sure he was going to make it. Only for the villain to step out from behind the next corner, an evil sneer crossing his lips as he recognized Ethan. A few steps forward and Ethan stopping in his tracks had them face to face.

Mark looked down smugly at Ethan, something he did rather convincingly given they were almost the same height. "Well, well... if it isn't the pureblood. Up a little early after your one-am shift aren't you?" Ethan didn't reply for a moment, a little confused by the roundabout statement. He had expected yelling, insults, cruel jokes, but why would he hint at it like this. Why not just come out and say it?

Realizing he wasn't going to get a reply Mark continued "-because a little bird told me her royal highness may have skipped out on his duties a little early, if you bothered to show up at all..." Ethan stared back at him, wishing he would just get to the damned point. If it was blackmail he wanted he should just go ahead and say it. "So?" Ethan prompted, with a conviction in his voice that almost surprised himself.

"So?" Mark gawked, obviously unused to Ethan showing any kind of backbone. "-most of us around here have this thing called 'work-ethic.' in case you don't know what that is, let me inform you. It roughly translates out to 'not-a-lazy-ass'" Ethan was stuck for words again, he was getting a work lecture. No sexual innuendo, no growls of 'traitor' or 'Assassin's pet'. He had slept with the enemy and Mark was mad at him for missing a shift.

Ethan's lack of reaction was starting to annoy the second in command, there was no fun in throwing your weight around if your subordinates were just looking off into space like you didn't exist. "whatever, all you need to know is that your taking over Leon's shift tonight to make up for it, and I will be telling the Security Chief about this little incident." Mark informed him, pushing passed the younger Templar. "Your just dammed lucky the prisoner didn't do anything while you were gone" he shot back over his shoulder as he rounded the corner back to his office.

Ethan stood thare for a moment, unsure if Mark was just a fantastic liar, or if Leon hadn't told him, or if he had a fairy godmother that no one had bothered to tell him about. In the end he decided he needed to see it for himself and launched back into his half-run. Making sure to slow down just before he entered his office so as to not look too suspicious.

Leon was leaning back in his chair his feet up on the desk, flipping through what looked like an issue of playboy. Over on the screens a sleeping Desmond was passed out on his bed, however something looked a little off. Had Desmond moved that much since he had left him? Leon turned around to look at him, and Ethan held his breath for a moment. Expecting some sort of indication that this man had watched him sleeping in Desmond's bed for a few hours, but all he got was a shrug and a "I was wondering where you went" before he turned back to his magazine.

"Um…sorry about that..." Ethan apologized somewhat half-heartedly, his focus instead drawn to the monitors. "Mah, you got me a day off work, and the prisoner is fine. Can't say a hold a grudge." Leon mused not even bothering to look up.

Ethan nodded and suddenly asked "is there any chance I could rewind the tapes?" adding "I think I may have seen something last night…" rather hastily after he realized he needed a reason, even if it wasn't a very good one. "Whatever you want, I was about to leave anyway..." Leon consented as he stood up, the chair making a relieved sounding squeak as its plastic joins when back to the proper position. Leon grabbed his own bag, pausing only to mention "when Ashley shows up, tell her you're my replacement for tomorrow. She doesn't deal with surprises well." And then he was gone.

Ethan took up the spot in the chair and grabbed for the keyboard that controlled the video uplink, after a little fiddling he found the rewind key. He managed to skip it back to six o'clock last night, and pressed the fast-forward. The key clicked and the footage sped it up to twenty times its normal speed.

Desmond came in from his animus session, flopping down in his bed and taking the PSP out from under it. Ethan couldn't help smiling again, glad that it had been of some use and even better that had stopped the pacing that always racked his nerves. However a glance at the time stamp on the screen showed that he should be getting up to find Ethan sitting at his door just about now…. the heck?

The screen flashed with a burst of static, and suddenly Desmond was sleeping. Ethan checked the time stamp, but it was still ticking along. He waited as the clock kept going, but Desmond was still fast asleep. He was sure he had been inside the room by this time... but Desmond was still snoozing like a log. He went all the way through to five in the morning before he paused it again, returning it to the live cameras with a confused sigh. Something was obviously up. That or this was not last night's footage.

He looked closer at the live feed, noticing now why it had looked odd. Desmond was fully dressed, where he had still been naked when Ethan had left him. The covers were also lying flat and definitely didn't look like somewhere two people had hip-shattering sex only hours before. Then something else odd, Desmond's sleeping was remarkably still almost like...

The screen jumped again, and suddenly Desmond was sitting on his bed pulling on his pants. An impatient Vidic waiting for him in the lab. Ethan's jaw dropped as he realized what had to be going on. Someone was messing with the camera feed, maybe to hide the fact that Desmond had a way out of his cell. Just then the writing under the shelves finally seemed a little odd, who wrote it there? Why would they risk Abstergo's wrath to let him wonder around the room? Ethan had been too wrapped up in his own world to see this before, but something was definitely going down behind Abstergo's back and they seemed to have Desmond's interests at heart. This was good news, hopefully…

The door to his office opened and a woman walked in. Ethan turned to her, realizing this must be the lady Leon told him about. She squinted at him warily, her eyes narrowing as she noticed the ruffled state of his uniform, a detail no one else seemed to have cared about. He stood up hurriedly, suddenly feeling like he needed to explain himself to this strange vulture-human hybrid.

"Ah... Hi I'm Ethan, I'm filling in for Leon for a few days..." he offered, adding the 'few days' bit to explain why he was here right now. He didn't think the 'I think I saw something' excuse would hold up for this woman and the last thing he wanted was for someone else to see what he just saw. She looked him over with those eyes again, snapping back "I'm Ashley, but you don't need to introduce yourself to me pureblood, the whole force knows who you are." She talked strangely, her teeth clicking as her jaw moved, it was rather disconcerting. "I also happen to know you work the shift before Leon." She insinuated leaning forward in a way that made Ethan back up a little until he was leaning on the desk. "So it's safe to assume Mark assigned you double shifts?" she finished, crossing her arms like she was Sherlock Homes solving a murder.

Ethan nodded, still to startled by her brashness to from words yet. "Good, maybe it will teach you something useful" she snapped, brushing passed Ethan and taking the seat in front of the monitors. Ethan was quiet for a moment as he wondered if Mark had ever tried dating this woman, they were like twins.

However a more practical question managed to find its way back into his head before he did something stupid. "Do you know what happens to the footage they take from the cameras?" he asked, trying to sound casual, like he was just wondering. Her eyes focused on him again, and for a second Ethan was sure her sharp gaze could see right through his ploy, but then she relented and explained. "The central memory can hold up to three days worth of recorded material before it's deleted, but no one looks at it after us unless a report is filed and they need to re-examine the tapes." She paused for a moment, then decided that ending a single conversation with Ethan without another insult would be discourteous and added "but you would know that if you had training like the rest of us.." she shot another look at Ethan and suddenly it felt like a good time to leave.

A few moments later as Ethan was walking back to his room, he finally had a few seconds to think back over the whole affair. He had lost then gained back his life in the space of just an hour. Things had changed, mostly in the fact that he couldn't hide behind his crazy urges anymore. Today he had faced what it might be like if the relationship he had with Desmond was ever discovered, even If most of it had been in his head.

Today he got a taste of it, and if he was going to back-out, now was the time. He had already dealt with his physical cravings, so all that was left to decide was whether or not he was feeling more than simple lust. He stopped for a moment, and pictured himself with Desmond. Soft kisses, being wrapped in his arms, spending time together talking, like they did on the lab floor two nights ago. He forgot about Abstergo for a second. He forgot the situation, the Templars, the Assassins, and he pictured living with Desmond. No particular place, just together. Then he contrasted the warm feeling in his chest, to the fear and heartache that came from what his family, the ones he spent his life growing up with, would do or say if they found out. Then he asked himself, is it worth betraying them? There was a silent moment of conflicting emotions before he pushed them back, reasoning that he didn't have to decide this just yet.

Instead he replaced the thoughts with something else that had been trying to get his attention. The cameras and the whole other set of problems they created. He had already decided that he wasn't going to mention it to anyone, and he was going to hope no one else noticed it. He had already decided that the person who set it up was either part of Abstergo, or very good at hacking, because the tape loops were set to activate and terminate as guards changed shifts. Probably in the hopes that the guards would be too busy leaving or arriving to notice the transition and setting that up would take knowledge of the schedule.

Although those revelations didn't really lead anywhere, and slowly Ethan realized that even if he felt like everything was different now, nothing had really changed. Desmond was still stuck in the lab, and he was still a Templar guard with nothing but his feelings to separate him from Mark and the others. Ethan sighed deeply, deciding that he needed a shower and a nap before he went on with this train of thought. If he kept going like this he could very well talk himself into a corner. So with a shake of his head to clear it, he quickened his pace.

It goes without saying that when he had assigned a double shift as punishment for Ethan, Mark didn't know that the younger would be silently thanking him the next day. More or less around the time when he realized he had until the early morning to cuddle with Desmond before getting up to hand the shift off to Ashley, who didn't quite seem to buy his attempts to look like he had been up all night. She could think whatever the heck she wanted, no one would guess at what he was really hiding.

He brought his laptop to Desmond's cell one day, and they watched a movie marathon for a good chunk of the night. Other days they would swap stories or just talk. It wasn't an everyday thing, but they did have sex a few times after the first, and Desmond even taught him a few things. Mostly to do with his blowjob technique.

As the days passed, Ethan focused himself more and more on the next time he would be able to sneak off and see Desmond. Slowly the days slipped by, and as they did, Ethan never once considered that the Assassin didn't have many left. Soon the week deadline that had seemed so far away on Monday came to pass. He didn't even know it when he woke up that morning. It was only as he came face to face with the Security chief on his way to his office the next night, that the revelation struck.

The word "reassigned" once again was applied to him and when he asked why, trying to keep as calm as possible, he was told that the subject had hit pay-dirt that afternoon, and thus was no longer valuable. Ethan suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe, and if he could have been able to see himself he could have had some idea of how pale he turned, as what he had been pushing away for weeks crashed down on his shoulders like a ton of bricks.

A sad sigh from the Security Chief, as he reminded him of the time, what felt like a lifetime ago, when he had told Ethan not too get too attached. More useful was his assurance that Desmond was still alive, but had been moved to another location.

His reassignment ended up being for patrol duty in the lower animus lab complex in delta-wing, but he had no intention of going, not just yet. As soon as he was allowed to leave he was gone like a bolt of lightning, making a beeline for the main offices on the top floor. He wasn't quite sure what he was going to say, but he needed to see his uncle. He would beg, plead, whatever it took to postpone Desmond's impending disposal.

The metal of the elevator was icy on his fingertips, or maybe it was Ethan's hands that were as cold as ice. Shivering from the shock of almost losing Desmond. How had he allowed this to happen? He was so wrapped up in his own feelings that he had forgotten all about Desmond's plight. Forgotten that he could die the second Abstergo got bored with him when he could have done something, he was Alan Rikkin's nephew for god's sake. If anyone in the lower sector of the company could have helped him it was Ethan.

Still, he was determined to do something now and at least he wasn't too late. He didn't think he could have forgiven himself if he had let Desmond die like that… The doors opened on the main office floors and he stepped out, striding purposefully right up to the large decorative doors marking the CEO's office. Not bothering to talk to the secretary who was on the phone, trying to be polite to what must have been some kind of news agency.

But when he pushed passed the doors, he did not see a heavy-set middle age man sitting at the desk, looking strangely normal for someone working on ways to take over the world. Instead he saw a well dressed woman, her hair a golden blond that Ethan knew was dyed, because he had been the first one she showed after getting it done. Frankly he liked it better when it was the same shade of light brown as his own, but he would never tell her that.

"Mom?" Ethan gawked from across the room. His mother looked up from this strange 3D chart that was projecting a picture of the globe, and smiled at him. "Oh hi honey, I was just about to see if I could find you, come over and see this." She waved him over and waited till he was standing next to the desk to show him the object projecting a slowly spinning model of the world.

Ethan looked at it for a moment, observing the small golden dots appearing almost at random across the continents. "Ummm…what is it, exactly?" he asked, leaning closer to get a better look. "A map of the world" his mother answered flatly, then much more excitedly "-but that's not the best part, see those dots..." she pointed to one, following it around as the world turned under her fingertips. "Every single one of them points to where a piece of Eden was hidden by Those Who Came Before." She looked up at him, obviously so thrilled by the revelation that just telling him about it was making her utterly delighted.

She looked back into the globe, this vacant look returning to her eyes as she murmured "just think... you could have been a part of this Ethan, the world at your fingertips.." she reached out to the globe, cupping the projection in her hands as if to illustrate the point. "Our ancestors have been fighting for almost a thousand years… and soon we will accomplish the destiny we were always meant to have." Then her voice lowered, and Ethan flinched, knowing what was coming next. "You could have been such a large part of it, if only you had tried a little harder."

The sting of her disappointment had gotten weaker over time, but it always hurt just a little. She turned to him as if just noticing that she may have upset him. Plastering a fake grin all over her lips and adding "-but it's okay because mommy loves you no matter what you do."

Words pooled at the tip of Ethan's tongue, things he had long wanted to say to his mother, but he hadn't come here to solve his family problems. It was time to try to get this conversation going the way he wanted. "Is this the info you were trying to get out of Desmond?" he asked almost casually, ignoring the sudden gasp at the mention of the Assassin's name.

"Desmond…"she echoed, suddenly a little unnerved. "You know about our, er... guest..?" She gazed at him, trying to see if she could read from his face how much he knew. "I was on camera duty..." Ethan imparted as if he was stating a simple fact. "Camera duty?" his mother repeated again, standing up suddenly. "What idiots put you there? What a stupid mistake, someone like you is far too sensitive to be watching what goes on in the labs." She ranted, adding some wild hand gestures to make her outrage seem more viable.

"Mom I-" Ethan started, but she put up a hand to silence him before he could say another word. "Hush, I get it already. I was wondering why you would bother coming all the way up here, obviously it was not to see your loving mother." She flashed him a saddened look that made Ethan's heart tinge with guilt, but he managed to suck it up and tried again.

"Mother I just-"but once again he was cut off as his mom placed her hand on her hips. Putting on her best stern sounding voice. "I told you this when you were younger Ethan, we can't rescue every last stray dog we see. Particularly when they're filthy mongrels, or in this case even worse… Assassins..." she spat the last word out like it was beneath her to even say it. Looking at Ethan in a way that made it clear that if he stood up for the Assassins, she would no longer have a son.

Ethan tried, he really did, but under the gaze of his mother his conviction left him. She seemed to know this to, because she walked over and gave him a hug, consoling him in her quiet motherly voice. "Don't worry so much love. Desmond has a very rich bloodline, and believe me we won't just throw a gift like that away.." she patted him on the back, trailing her hand down Ethan's arm and stepping back so that they were still holding hands.

His mother smiled her little smile again. "Don't fret too much about things we can't change. Think about the new world we're working towards, harmony and prosperity for generations to come. Don't you think that's worth the few dogs you need to kick to get there?" with that she walked back to her desk indicating the conversation was now over. Ethan paused for a moment, but then he retreated. Walking back to the elevator. Feeling somewhere between comforted and utterly repulsed by his willingness to give up.

She waited another moment after she was sure Ethan had left. Then she let the cheerful grin slide off her lips. Rolling her eyes as she reactivated her earpiece. Wincing as the annoyed tones of her brother assaulted her ears. "Sorry about that, my adorable little baby wanted to chat" she replied into the attached microphone, the warmth in her voice suddenly gone, to be replaced by biting sarcasm.

"Yes Ethan… " She grumbled as if the sound of his name alone worsened her day. "something about the test subject… no don't worry I gave him a hug and a cuddle and he turned right back round…" she paused, listening to the reply and shaking her head even though Alan could obviously not see her."No, don't worry. I have him wrapped around my little finger just like always."

She sat down on her brother's desk tapping her fingers on the wood, wishing she hadn't brought the subject of her little failure of a son up. "I don't know why you thought time watching the labs would do anything helpful. He's more of a pansy now than ever. Worst of all, now he's thinking about the well being of an Assassin…" she sighed deeply, angrily flicking one of the lighter-weight knick knacks off of Alan's desk. "I told our chief of security to put him somewhere else, just keep him out of the way... anyway we have far more important matters to deal with..."

Ethan dragged his fingers over the cool glass walls of one of the many cubicles in the Animus lab complex. His feet making hollow footsteps on the hard stone floor that echoed nosily around the warehouse-sized room. Every once in a while he would pass other guards patrolling the many rows of glass rooms, but they never said anything to him. Although he did get a few looks from those who were able to recognize him as "the pureblood" but it was all white noise to him really.

Nothing mattered to him besides Desmond, and how powerless he was to help him. His mood changing to varying degrees of regret, hopelessness, and despair as he walked his rounds like he was half-dead. He might as well look like he felt.

Worst of all, it was his fault. He had lost the last thing in his life that had really mattered because he was too wrapped up in his own little world. He had allowed his fantasies to become more important than the life of the one he loved. To busy thinking of sneaking off in the middle of the night to visit, not caring about the possibility of Desmond no longer being there.

Then the crushing blow, the thoughts that made him slump against the wall and slide to the floor. Sitting on the cold concrete failing to fight off the tears that were pooling under his eyes. When the time had come for him to do something, when he had been facing his mother… He had given up. When it came down to it he didn't have the nerve to even try to convince her to save the life of his lover.

He was a horrible person… a wimpy, pathetic, waste of space. He didn't deserve Desmond's love, or even a second glance. When he had needed Ethan the most he had let him down, and now he would spend the rest of whatever was left of his life being mined for memories. Ethan rested his head against his knees, hiding his face as he let the tears roll down his cheeks. His shoulders didn't shake and he didn't whine or snivel, it was just a moment to wallow in his wretchedness. No one cared if he cried, so there's no reason to make a fuss about it. He sat silently in the corner, all alone, just like always…

Desmond cursed quietly as he scanned the area, wishing he had listened and just stayed close to Lucy. He crouched close to the ground, making sure to check every hallway before moving forward. He knew he was one false step away from getting a platoon of baton wielding guards chasing after his dumb ass, and he doubted he could ninja-chop them into submission like Lucy. Sure he could throw a good punch, but these were trained guards not drunk bar patrons.

If he could just find Lucy, he wouldn't need to worry about this... and as a bonus it would greatly increase his chances of making it out of this in one piece. He sprinted down another hallway, and ducked into one of the cubicles just in time to miss a set of guards who were walking in the opposite direction.

They were talking as they patrolled and Desmond caught a small snippet of conversation as they passed. "-crying like a little bitch. I don't know why they stuck him here, we have enough work to do without adding babysitting to the list." The other agreed with him and added something, but Desmond was already up and rounding the corner.

That's when it hit him, he could just use that eagle vision thing, the one that had showed him Lucy was not an enemy, to find her among the guards. He backed up against the wall and opened his mind, looking for any traces of blue. In the next hall over, he caught a glimpse of the friendly aura of an ally. He closed the connection quickly and made his way over, silently commending himself on how clever he was.

It happened so fast that part of Ethan's mind almost didn't believe it. One moment he was lost in his misery, the next he was breathing in that familiar sent and wrapped in the warm embrace of two hoodie-clad arms. Ethan didn't even think, sure he had questions but they didn't matter right now. All he needed was to be close to him.

He was kissed, and for a long moment everything was perfect. Him, Desmond... that's all he needed.

But then the moment was over and Desmond was standing up, drifting away from him. He reached out, tried to stand up…but he was just pushed back down. "I have to go..." Desmond murmured gripping Ethan's hand tightly. He didn't even know what to say, he knew Desmond had to go, but then Ethan would never see him again.

A crackle and the radio on his belt choked out the news of an escape in the labs, along with instructions for intercepting the suspects. Suddenly it all made sense. Desmond leaned close, offering another quick kiss and a goodbye that hung in the air. Ethan didn't even have time to answer it before Desmond was gone again.

He wanted to run after him, but he knew he couldn't, he would only drag him down. Whoever had looped the footage they must be trying to break him out, his chances of escaping were the best if he didn't interfere. Remember that old saying? If you love something, let it go.

Pounding feet on stone and a bunch of guards were racing down the adjoining hallway, Ethan found his feet and joined them. Staying near the back where no one could see him. They reached the end of the animus complex just too late. The doors to the elevator closed, but in that second Ethan saw Lucy standing next to Desmond. Of course, she was the only other one who had ever cared about him.

How had she done it? It didn't matter, somehow Ethan knew he would be safe with her. The guards split up, some on the way to the parking lot, others to the other levels the elevator let off on. Ethan didn't move. He slumped against one of the glass cubical walls again unable to keep the smile off his lips. "Good luck Desmond..." he whispered so quietly that only he could hear then added "I love you…"

A/N

Okay a bit of bad news, I think I'm going to take a little extra time on the last chapter just to make sure I wrap all this up in a satisfying way. Oh yes, and forgive Ethan crying again, I'll never do it again I promise.