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Three Days by ThatGirl

~chapter one, Day One~

Dear Matt        10.04 pm      9/3-2002      

How am I supposed to begin this letter?
You're in a coma, Matt. There was a car accident and the buss you were in was hit pretty badly. You were the only one in it, but it's hard to bring myself to feel thankful for that. You were hurt. Worse than you've ever been hurt before and you've been in a coma since they got you to the hospital. It pains me so much to see you hooked up to all of those wires and machines. It pains me so much I'm almost breaking apart inside. It just doesn't fit you. Don't take me wrong, Matt, but it really doesn't fit you to be in a coma. You've always been the strong one… the one who seemed not to need anyone and the one who seemed to be able to carry the whole world on your shoulders.

I guess I was wrong. I guess a drunk driver in a Volvo can chance stuff like that.

When the doctors told us, dad, mum and I, that you might not be waking up, I didn't believe him.
"You're lying!" I screamed and slapped away mum's hand from mine when she tried to comfort me. I got my legs moving and ran to this room where I found you.
I don't even know why I'm writing this stupid letter.

I'm crying now, you know. I'm sorry, but I can't help myself at this moment. I know you hate it when I cry. That's the reason why this letter is tearstained… and I hope the ink wont smudge.

Dear Matt       10.50 pm       9/3-2002             

My head hurts. This killer headache has been plaguing it since they called from the hospital and said that you were there. I had heard about the accident on the radio but could have never even in my wildest fantasies guessed that you would've been in it.

Mum, dad and a doctor found me here twenty minutes ago. I told them I wanted to stay here with you and they let me. At first, they tried talking to me some more, but I'm at a total loss of words, Matt. I couldn't get anything more than a weak "I wanna stay with onii-san," out of my mouth and I'm not only writing this. I haven't said a word since mum finally gave up and left me alone. Or no… not alone. You're here. You're only in a coma…

Someone opens the door… It's mum. She sends you a worried look. She really does care about you, Matt. You have to know that she loves you.

"Tk," mum says as she turns to me. I don't know why, but I don't want to answer her. Maybe I understand now how you felt when you were quiet and didn't want to speak.

"Tk," mum repeats. "Tk, say something, please,"

I turn my head away and close my eyes. Tears are burning behind their lids.

If you're wondering about that ugly line that's drawn on this page, it's because the pen was pressed against the paper when mum just hugged me and I tried not to show her what I've written here. Mum and I rarely fight and we're close, but this feels too personal to be shown.

She leaves the room without giving neither you nor me another glance. I don't think I am the only on hurting here, by far. Dad hasn't even come into this room yet, but I can see him outside the room, in the corridor, looking in through the window in the wall. I've sat here in the corner for about forty-five minutes now. But don't worry. I won't leave you here alone. I know that even if you don't show it, you hate being alone and these plain, white walls look so unfriendly.

No one has told our friends yet. I don't think that mum would be able to break the news and dad is still staring through at you through the window, not daring to come in.

Matt, you're too pale… And the beeping machine that's showing how you are is getting on my nerves. It's almost as if it's counting the seconds until you die. If you die…

Please don't do that! I don't know what I would do if that machine flat lined right now. And that's what the doctors told us it could do.

"His life is hanging on a very thin line, but this machine keeps him alive for now."

For now.

Those words haunt me. I'm so scared…

I can hear voices talking outside the room we're in. The door is slightly open and I recognise two of the three. One is Mum and the other is dad.

"I'm very sorry, but…" the unknown one says. She's probably a doctor or a nurse.

"Please…" dad whispers. I can almost see him putting a shaking hand to his forehead.

"Mr. Ishida, be reasonable. If not for you, at least for your son,"

Dad falls silent and doesn't object anymore after that statement. In fact, he doesn't say anything else at all. He's as quiet as the grave.

The doctor sighs, but continues. "Your son is in a very critical condition. If he doesn't come out of his coma or becomes able to breathe on his own in at least three days, we have to unplug him."

Mum gasps and I think she's going to say something, but the doctor beats her to it.

"I'm sorry, but we can't keep him here in an eternity. There are other patients waiting and if the only thing that keeps him alive is a machine, he's already more dead than alive."

Clapping sounds of the doctor's shoes are heard in the hallway and then they slowly fade into nothing.

I'm empty.

Mum is crying in the corridor and dad is just standing there, doubtlessly completely shocked out of his mind.

I'm empty.

No… feelings are starting to come to me again now…

I'm sad.  I'm shocked. I'm speechless. I'm angry. I'm angry with you. I'm furious! No, I'm more than just angry and furious… I can't explain it. I'm screaming. I'm hiding. I'm covering my head and face with my hands, while tears are streaming out over my eyes like waterfalls. I want to punch and slap and beat you until you wake up and can say you're sorry for making me feel like this and then, when I've done that, I never want to see you again!

But when I look at you lying there in that big white bed, eyes shut and your entire being showing that you're so vulnerable and helpless I've ever seen you before, I… I just can't bring myself to think like that then, Matt. Believe me, it's impossible.

…But… God, I don't know what to write… Just… make it through, okay? Please?

A/N: *hides behind the couch* I hope that wasn't too bad… There's more of this to come… Please review!