Once upon a time, in a little cottage deep in the countryside, lived a very maternal, very lonely man. The man wasn't lonely before, living with another man who made him very happy indeed, but.. well, that was a story to be told at another time. Now he was alone in his cottage with only animals to keep him company, and the dream that he would one day nurture and care for a child of his own. But adoption agencies weren't up and running in those times, and orphans were dirty little things that were either enslaved, criminals, or dead at infancy.

All the women thought he was terribly cute and sympathized with him, but they never really clicked, y'know? Umino Iruka was a sweet man, but he was just a friend.

One day a passing fairy heard Iruka's heart calling out for a child to nurture, and after observing the man for a few weeks showed up in his room with a magical seed.

"Plant this, sweet Iruka, and in thirty days and thirty nights you shall have a child."

Iruka thanked the fairy, knowing that they rarely granted the wishes of measly humans. While watering the plant, though, he still stayed at a safe distance. It was a shady looking fairy who gave him the seed, and he had heard of the swarm of "magic beans" that were being given away lately.

On the final day, a small bud appeared in the flower pot. The bud slowly blossomed, revealing a small boy almost as big as Iruka's thumb, sleeping in the fetal position and wearing a bright orange jumper. The boy let out a snort and yawned, blearily opening his eyes and rubbing them once, twice, before looking at the large face peering down at him.

The little boy smiles brightly.

"Hi! Are you my dad?"

Iruka nodded slowly, tilting his head at the peculiar flower and the shape it made when it bloomed. It was a horribly way to name a child, but he was waiting so long for his child he forgot to eat much in the excitement and the pattern of the flower really made him crave a bowl of ramen.

"I'll call you Naruto."

"Great! I'll call you daddy!"