I Don't Own Naruto some guy named Kishimoto. If I did well kyuubi would be a girl, sasuke would die, the pink haired banshee would lose her voice, the hyuuga stalker would leave naruto alone and naruto would actually had the Kage Bunshin training he'd also have a harem.

"yo" speaking

'God dammit" thoughts

"Damn brat" demon speaking/summon speaking

'Fuck' Demon/Summon speaking

"Kage bunshin no Jutsu"

Chapter1

Outside of Konoha's Gates

Two figure's could be seen heading towards Konoha's walls. The first figure was male that stood at about 6'2. He had long spiky sun-kissed blonde hair that went past his neck a bit. He also had electric blue eye that were slitted like a fox. They as showed warmth and happiness in them, he also had three whisker's on each cheek. He wore a black muscle shirt that clung to his body as if it was a second skin, also he wore a black baggy pant that were being help by a belt that had the leaf insignia for the belt buckle. He wore black steel tipped boots. Also two swords were strapped on his back. This was Naruto Uzumaki jinchuriki of Kyuubi no kitsune and he was finally returning home after six years.

The second figure was a female that stood a 5'9. she had pale blonde hair that was braided into a single ponytail that went down to her lower back. She had yellowish cat like eye's that also showed mirth but seriousness at the same time. She had D breast size. She wore a dark purple shirt with an Anbu chest plate on top. She wore black Anbu Pant's, she also wore black shinobi sandals. And around her waist was a Kumo headband that was being held up by a black cloth. She also had a sword strapped to her left side. She was all so carrying a baby girl that was about a year old. She also had pale blonde hair but instead of yellowish color eye's they were ocean blue, that showed happiness and innocent's. She also wore a dark purple dress. These were Yugito Nii Uzumaki jinchuriki of Nibi no nekomatte and hers and Naruto's daughter Rei Uzumaki.

"I cant believe I'm coming back after six years." Naruto said as he looked at the gates that were getting closer by the minute." Oh come on Naruto-Kun it's not that bad beside's I finally get see what you're home like." Yugito said while placing a hand on his shoulder trying to comfort him.

"Yeah I know but I just get this filling that I'm going to die when I see baa-chan again." He said while a feeling of dread went down his side.

"How do you think you're friends will react when they see we're married." Yugito asked with some worry in here voice wondering if they'll except her." well if I think about it they'll be shocked as hell and I bet no know Hinata will most likely faint, while Sakura will try to kill me for some reason." He said as if the most common thing on earth.

"she try's I'll kill her!" Yugito said with fire in her eye's.

Naruto just chuckled at his wife's reaction. He then looked back at the wall's then he thought of something 'what the hell am I going to tell ever for leaving Ero-sennin like that.' He then started to think back when he left Jiraiya

Flashback

"Naruto stop let's stop for today." Jiraiya said while walking over to his and Naruto's campsite. "Aw come one Ero-sennin we've haven't even started the really training yet." Naruto complained but knew it wouldn't work on Jiraiya." No that's good for today beside's were leaving for Konoha tomorrow remember." Jiraiya stated. Naruto just froze when he heard that. It wasn't he didn't want to go home, he did but when he was traveling he barely learnt a thing except for improving his Rasengan and trying to control Kyuubi's Chakra which is almost impossible to do when you're always fighting with it.

It was then Naruto Decided to do the most idiotic thing he could think of. He ran Over to Jiraiya who was working on his newest book." Hey Ero-sennin! Look!" naruto Said. Jiraiya just "hm'ed" while looking back at his student. Naruto to do some seals then shouted "Oiroke no Jutsu" Naruto then transformed in a naked girl that was about 5'6 with D-cupped breast.

Naruko then started to count down in her head ' 3,2,1 Blast off' just like she predicted Jiraiya went Flying Via Nosebleed. 'Sorry bout this Ero-sennin but I'm not ready to go back yet.' Naruto thought when he dispelled the Jutsu and started to pack his things and leave before Jiraiya woke up.

Flashback end

Naruto just snickered at remembering when he caught Jiraiya off guard. When Yugito looked at Naruto who was snickering, she raised a questioning eyebrow while asking" And what are you laughing about hm." Naruto just looked at her then started to say" Oh just remembering how I caught Ero-sennin off guard." Yugito just laughed when she heard this, cause Naruto had told her how he got away from the all powerful Sannin." I Still can't believe how easy you got away." She said while shaking her head.

Naruto just smiled at his wife then looked down at his daughter who was trying to reach out for him. " Oh and how is daddy's little girl doing" He said while taking Rei from her mother which got a giggle from the baby.

"hey Yugito-chan when did the Raikage saying he was coming to Konoha again?" Asked Naruto while tickling his daughter. " He said he be here for the final's for the chunin exam's in 2 week's." Yugito said then gave a questioning glance to her husband " why do you ask?"

"huh oh just wondering." He said while his wife just shrugged her shoulders.

Ten minute's later they arrived at the gates but stopped by the guard's who asked who they were. But when Naruto gave them his paper's they immdetially called for some Anbu to escort them to the Hokage tower.

Hokage's Tower

Tsunade was having a bad day today. First when she woke up they was no coffee by her bed which kinda pissed her off, then on her way to the tower one of her shoe heels broke after which when she finally got to the tower there were piles and piles of paper work, also Shizune was sick then finally when went for a sake bottle it was empty in fact all the bottles were empty. So Yeah she was having a shitty day.

Just then there was a knock on her door. "yes what is it" Tsunade said while still signing paper's

"um Hokage-Sama Anbu are here with some people that need to see you." Said the secretary. Tsunade Just groaned when she heard this cause it was cutting into her paper work time which seemed to get bigger when she stooped working. " fine send them in" She said while still working.

When the door finally opened Tsunade looked up to she who it was. She gasped when she saw who it was. " n-na-naruto!" She spurted out " Hey there baa-chan long time no see hehe" Naruto said while chuckling at the face she was making.

Tsunade just looked at him for a bit longer before tackling him at speed's that would make hiraishin seem slow. Naruto slowly wrapped his arm's around her while she cried in his chest. Yugito was looking at the scene with a small smile while holding Rei who squirming around.

When Tsunade stopped crying she looked up to see smiling down at her. She then looked at the other two who entered the room with naruto." Alright who are you?" She asked trying to figure out who the hell this woman was until she saw the ring on yugito's hand. "um She's my wife baa-chan" Naruto Said while walking over to Yugito and took her right hand into his left then smiling.

When Tsunade heard this she looked like she was about to faint. 'Naruto's already married!' she screamed in her head. But then she thought about it again then realized naruto never invited anyone from Konoha which pissed her as she saw naruto as her own sochi.

Tsunade then put on an all to sweet smile that scared the shit out of naruto for he knows what happens when a woman smile's like that. 'Oh god she's just as sweet as Yugito-chan.' Naruto thought while freaking out inside his mind. "So naruto when did you get married?" she asked in all to sweet tone. Both Naruto and Yugito were sweating on the inside when she asked. "Well I was actually planning on telling everyone at the same time, so I wouldn't have to keep repeating myself." Naruto Said while mentally berating himself for saying that. Yugito just looked at her husband like he was an fucking idiot.

"Oh well then let's round-up your friends and their sensei's shall we" Tsunade said in still all to sweet voice. That's when naruto knew today was going to be one really long ass day.

Tsunade had sent out Anbu to fetch naruto's friends sensei's and Jiraiya , Which took about 10 minute's really cause when they heard naruto was back they hightailed it to the Hokage tower. When everyone got there they saw man who looked like the yondaime Hokage and some Kumo nin holding a baby. Most the girls including kurenai and anko(she was with kurenai at the time so decided to tag along) blushed and drooled some when they looked at the blonde Adonis infront of them. Which caused naruto to groan while yugito to start growling at them to back off. When Neji and Hinata saw the Kumo headband they stiffened up. Well really hinata did, neji just started to sneer at yugito which was a bad idea cause it made naruto get infront of yugito and started to show his fangs which meant 'Back the fuck or I rip your ball's off.' A cough from tsunade then got everyone to look at her.

"So I guess you all know why you're here correct?" She said while looking into everyone's eye's. Just then the pink banshee decided to speak up." Um Tsunade-Sama you called you here because you said naruto was here but I don't see him." Sakura said while getting nod's from everyone else who were trying to figure who these other people were. Tsunade, naruto and yugito face faulted while think the same thing 'How the hell do they not recognize me/him!'

"Sakura you're a smart girl and so is everyone else...well maybe not kiba" (which got a laugh out of naruto and yugito and a tiny giggle from rei)" But that's a matter for a different time." Tsunade said. When everyone still looked puzzled she just sighed then pointed at naruto then spoke up again. "Just look on his face and tell me what you see." She spoke with some disgust that they couldn't even tell that there friend had been standing right infront of them the whole time.

Everyone then stared at intently while going over a list in their heads.' Okay wild blonde hair, Electric blue eyes, whisker marks on his cheeks… whisker marks!' it was then everyone looked at naruto with a shocked. "well it's good to see you remember me now yea dicks" Naruto said clearly not happy that didn't recognize him right off the bat.

Just then a pair of arms wrapped around his neck. Naruto looked down to see who it was but only to groan when he saw it was hinata of all people. 'Ah great this just complicates thing's when I break the news to her' he thought while looking at yugito who looked like she was going to kill the poor hyuuga heir. Yugito then looked at naruto who had a face of pleading for her to get hinata off of him. When she saw that look on naruto she new that it was time to start breaking hearts.

When hinata recognized naruto she thought her 'Lover' had finally returned to her so she was going to confess her love right there and then. But it seemed Kami didn't wish for her to confess. That's when yugito spoke up again. "um excuse me but could you please get off my husband Hyuuga." Yugito said with venom in her voice when she said hyuuga. Everyone except naruto and tsunade looked at yugito with wide eye's when see said husband.

Hinata looked at yugito then up to naruto with pleading eye's that seemed to ask if she was lying. "it's true guy's this is my wife Yugito Nii and are daughter Rei Uzumaki." Naruto said which caused hinata's heart to break into millions and millions of piece's. Naruto then used a raitonShunshinto get out of her grasp and to his wife's side, were her took her left hand and into his right while smiling at her." So does anyone have any question's?" Naruto asked only for all hell to break lose

"when the fuck did you get married!"

"where have you been this whole time!"

"What's it like to have a kid."

"Why did you choose to marry a Kumo nin!"(cookie to who can figure out who this is)

"EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP!" Tsunade yelled trying to get everyone under control well except hinata who was still in shock." Good now that I have you're attention now you're all going to ask one question at a time to both naruto and yugito here okay. She asked while getting a nod from everyone even rei who looked scared as hell when she saw tsunade scream.

"okay start off let's start with Asuma's team." Tsunade said while trying to figure out what everyone is going to ask naruto." so Shikamaru you're up first."

"troublesome but here goes." Shikamaru said" So how'd you and yugito-san here meet."

" Funny you should ask I was traveling around Kaminari no kuni when I heard an explosion not to far from me so I decide eh what the hell and went to figure out what it was." He stopped for a sec to see if they were paying attention then continued." So looking around for a bit I saw two ex akatsuki members hidan and kukazu attacking yugito here, I decide to go help." This got a shout from jiraiya saying he was an dumbass for trying that, but tsunade shut him up by threatening to rip his balls off if he didn't shut-up.

Wait you said ex member's what happened to them." Asked tsunade not liking her adoptive son taking on akatsuki. "oh well I jumped in and went kyuubi on their asses, man that was so much fun going four tails on two guys that were actually immortals then ripping them piece by piece." Naruto said with an sadistic grin that would make orochimaru run for the hill's. when everyone saw that grin the just knew that naruto was going to get along fine with anko, who also had a sadistic grin on face as well.

"what a sec you went four tails on them? How the hell where you still in control!" Yelled Jiraiya who didn't care if tsunade castrated him he wanted know how naruto controlled that much power. "Oh but who said I was in control." Naruto said which scared the jonin tsunade and jiraiya that the seal was weakening. " I just made a deal with kyuubi and told the fox to go psycho on them and man was it great to watch as he used his tail to rip their arms and legs at the same time, man there was so much blood that I thought a war had taken place ah that was such a great time." He said with the scariest grin that would make the devil himself shit his pant.

Everyone didn't know what to make of this blood thirst naruto cause for one he was scaring the shit out of them and two he let the kyuubi out to play with his enemy's was he insane. " Naruto are you fucking insane what if kyuubi had gotten lose he would have killed us all." Jiraiya yelled not liking that his godson was letting kyuubi out to fight. " aw shut-up ero-sennin you don't know kyuubi like I do and beside's she was one of the few people that trained me over the years." He said if it was the most common thing in the world. " Wait kyuubi's a SHE and she trained you, also who did you train with." Tsunade asked wanting all information on what naruto knew.

"yeah kyuubi's a girl so what I thought you'd be jumping for joy hearing the most powerful thing in the elemental countries was a girl." Naruto said and then a few seconds anko was screaming for joy while screaming about sexiest bastard's." Any ways I was also trained by the Raikage E, The Mizukage Mei-chan, Garra the Kazekage, The Tsuchikage Onoki, Temari-chan, the Raikage brother Killer Bee, Onoki's granddaughter Kurotsuchi-chan , Yugito-chan, Chojiro One The Seven Swordsmen Of The Mist and Hanzo the Salamander."(in this story Hanzo died after training naruto.)

When everyone heard all those name their jaws all hit the ground. Both Jiraiya and Tsunade were freaking out when he said the Tsuchikage name." Why would the Tsuchikage train you? That's absurd he hates Konoha nin." Kakashi Said trying to figure out why all these people would train naruto when he had no skill's to be a ninja(Fucking Dyke isn't he)" Ah that's were you're wrong beside's I'm like the grandson he's always wanted to spoil, I even get to call him jiji while I call E and Bee my crazy nii-san's and I call Chojiro and Garra my otouto's. I also use to call Hanzo my tou-san at one point.(don't flame my story so shut up!)

That threw most of them for a loop calling Hanzo the Salamander tou-san what type of relation does he have with that man. Then Jiraiya asked the question that was going to ruin his relationship with naruto." Wait you said use to what happened?" he asked only to watch as naruto's hair covered his eye so people couldn't see his eye's switching from blue to red. "he was killed by the Akatsuki leader." He said that got a few shocked gasped from the jonin and Sannin." But he did send me a summoned message before he died which told who the akatsuki leader." That got everyone attention except yugito who looked at her husband in worry." The leader's name is nagato a pupil of yours Jiraiya." Naruto said with so much hate in his voice that it made everyone freeze in place. When jiraiya heard this he just knew a relationship with his godson was gone.

"n-na-naruto i-i'm sorry I thought he had died after I had left Ame for I hadn't heard from him or the other's." Jiraiya said trying to find the courage to face naruto. " Well two of them are the third one is a waking corpse." Naruto said trying to hold back his anger, yugito put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. They didn't see the glare hinata gave yugito.

"what do you mean naruto." Tsunade said not understanding what he meant. "what I mean is nagato has gone off the deep end and is using his best friend's body along with five bodies Jiraiya here has killed to fight for him." He said showing complete seriousness. When jiraiya heard that his world came crashing down one of his favorite student's hade gone completely insane. He always thought nagato was the most level head one out of yahiko and konan. But know he was listening to his godson tell him one of his student's is one of the man reason's people were dying. " Nagato now rule's all of Ame but no one can get in or out, he's closed off all borders also as going far as to killing all those that ever knew hanzo or ever liked him, i've heard that you even speak and the mad god will come himself and kill you." Naruto said trying to prove a point that Jiraiya's student was an complete psycho.

Everyone couldn't believe it one of jiraiya's student's was causing so much grief in the world. It just didn't make sense the fourth turned out alright and some what naruto did to. But now they were hearing from naruto that one of his student's were doing so much damage to the world. Tsunade looked at jiraiya but could only see man who had lost faith in the world. " Okay that's enough naruto look what you're doing to jiraiya." Tsunade said with a strict voice. "oh but i'm not done yet baa-chan." Naruto said with malice in his voice. Now when naruto said that everyone stopped and looked at him wide eye's even jiraiya looked at him with shock on his face." Oh I'm far from done you have some question to answer right here and now." He said in a demanding voice which shocked everyone to the core." Why the FUCK didn't you tell me who my father was!" He yelled while pointing at both her and Jiraiya. When the two heard that they knew they were in for it now.

TO BE CONTUNIED