Disclaimer: The single greatest hollow ever created? Answer: GRIMMJOW oh why oh why did you have to kill him off Kubo-sensei?

Summary: Let's call it a fairy tale just for the sake of definition.

'Wait a minute since when leprechauns wear leather pants and combat boots?'

A/N For readers who don't mind a bit of crack, a smidge of canon and a whole lotta AU.

Warnings: AU, OOC-NESS, Language, spelling, grammar, punctuation, femme!Toshiro, weirdness and such and such.

Main Pairings: GrimmxIchi, KonxToshi, RukixHime, NnoixShiro, mentions of others

Created for Ane-chan: Wishing you a happy birthday and many more

Pantherchaun

Long ago far out in the not-so-hidden sand castle of Hueco Mundo there lived a self righteous King who spent exactly 15 hours out of every day looking at himself in the mirror-curling his naturally wavy hair-practicing his trademark smirk-flexing his broad, sexy and positively perfect shoulder blades-

()()

A raised brow.

A young 16 year old prodigy with snow white hair wrinkled her nose in distaste and counted to ten before crunching the paper up into a ball and tossing it in the waste basket. Icicle blue eyes narrowed at the one who had the audacity to show her such trash.

"Positively sexy shoulder blades? You were assigned to write a children's story not a romance novel-If you don't start taking your job seriously Matsumoto I'm going to have to drop you from this project."

The one being addressed, a buxom ginger blonde around age 35 pouted

"Oh but Toshiko-kachou it's so much more exciting this way-I mean wouldn't you want your hero to be both sexy and brilliant?"

All this talk of heroes being sexy and brilliant was giving the young prodigy a headache.

Hitsugaya Toshiko carefully shuffled the stack of papers on her desk into a neat and orderly pile before rising to her feet with her brief case in hand-flicking off the small light over head, paying no mind to her bubbly and non-stop babbling subordinate as she made a quick and hasty retreat towards the nearest exit.

Sadly for our first heroine of this particular tale the ginger-blonde was right on her sparkly opened-toed heels.

A perfectly polished and manicured hand rested upon her thin shoulder blades, halting Toshiko's movements-

Giving the girl no other choice but to turn and raise a thin white-blonde brow in question "What is it Matsumoto?"

Matsumoto Rangiku's powder blues danced with unrestrained glee as she tugged on a stubborn fly away white blonde lock of hair, bringing her too-adorable-for-own-good Toshiko-kachou closer to her-then with out further warning the woman dipped down and kissed the girl.

Toshiko's cheeks burned hotly-her icicle blues blinking rapidly-

Only one thought went of in her head-

'I'm being sexually molested by my subordinate-the very same subordinate who is rumored to be a shameless cougar-the very same subordinate who used to baby sit me-the very same subordinate who might as well be my mother-what the hell is the meaning of this?'

Okay make that quite a few thoughts but anyway

Now that the initial shock has left Toshiko's system (well for the most part anyway) the girl pushes the woman away and wipes furiously at her mouth before glaring darkly. She taps her sparkly open-toed heel waiting for an explanation.

Rangiku looks a little bit drunk (er make that more drunk than usual) and it takes awhile for the ginger-blonde to realize that her beloved kachou is quite furious with her-wishing to smooth things over as quickly as possible and without blood shed the woman straightens out her dangerously low cut hot pink summer dress and calmly gives the girl an answer of sorts

"Well Toshiko-kachou there's actually a very good reason of why I did what I just did but um it's kind of embarrassing. Perhaps if we went someplace quieter?"

A raised brow-Toshiko crosses her arms "What ever you have to say to me you can say to me right here but make it quick, I don't have all night."

Looking very much like a young school girl herself and not at all like a shameless flirtatious grown women that she's supposed be-Rangiku bites on her bottom lip-ginger blonde lashes shield her eyes from view-"If I tell you do you promise not to freak out?"

Freak out? Really what did the woman think Toshiko had done a few minutes ago?

"It can't be any worse than what you just did."

Rangiku flinched acting as though she was stung by the prodigy's words. And then she reached behind her neck and untied her dress-

()()

Toshiko had every intention to shut her eyes-no really she did but the moment bright rose colored animal fur caught her eye she couldn't look away and things started to click.

"You're a hybrid?"

"More like a skin walker or a shapeshifter but you're not the first person to make that mistake."

"So that means what you just did-

"Yes I kissed you just now because I felt drawn to your energy-I have always felt drawn to your energy even when you could barely see across the kitchen table. I could tell you were non-human-not necessarily a hybrid but something from a different world."

"I'm a succubus."

"Ah so that is the reason you didn't return my kiss-it was because you worried you would drain my life source and eventually kill me." Rangiku giggled, "Well now that the cat is out of the bag why don't we-?"

"There isn't any we," Toshiko half hissed as she once again picked up her brief case and set off for the exit "And even if I wasn't opposed to a bit of tonsil hockey I have not nor will I ever desire to swap spit with another woman!"

She did not stop at the woman's hurried footsteps coming after-acted as though the woman's pleas never reached her ears

"But Kachou we could have so much fun together!"

()()

2 years later…

We find Hitsugaya Toshiko posing as a simple college student who desires to join one of the elite sororities right on campus.

And why is our young heroine of 18 years of age doing such a thing?

Because Toshiko has reason to believe that one of her classmates, who goes by the nickname "princess" is another non-human like herself. A goddess of healing to be exact.

If her suspicions are correct then the snow-haired girl will have to bring the princess, real name 'Inoue Orihime' back to the "DEN" a safe house where the last of her kind-the non-humans reside.

Only one problem the princess has not been seen in the last 2 days.

'How did I find myself into such a troublesome mess again?'

()()

FLASHBACK

Our young prodigy had been stubborn at first-refused to let Matsumoto Rangiku get with in 15 feet of her after the 'confession'

Toshiko did not open her door or answer he phone-it wasn't until late April when the snow-haired girl had finally given in and let the neko inside because she couldn't stand the sight of a drenched creature-she dried the ginger blonde off and let the woman say her piece.

'We are the l-well okay not exactly the last of our kind but pretty close to it-

'Get to the point."

" Toshiko-kachou-

'I am not your kachou, Matsumoto. Simply calling me by my surname will do.'

'You'll always be kachou to me-now more than ever."

Toshiko raised a white-blonde brow "Like I was saying we aren't exactly the last of our kind-there are 3 others but-

"But what?"

"There are 3 others and we must find them. The survival of our species depends on it."

Toshiko wasn't going to waste time correcting the woman-she got the message loud and clear.

"Why should I help you?"

"Because no one wishes to die alone, not even you Kachou."

END FLASH

()()

But who knew Sorority girls could be so incredibly boring and stupid?

Well perhaps not all of them were stupid but really was it necessary to compare bra sizes and trade underwear? What did that have to-where was the logic-Toshiko shook her head-it made no sense to her.

"Come on Toshiko-chan, you're up next."

Toshiko scrunched her nose in distaste. "No thank you I'd rather sit this one out."

How did climbing up a flag pole in the middle of one of the hottest damn days in summer prove that she was ready to become a member of BA-N-KAI?

Ridiculous.

"Nah uh there is no sitting out of anything during pledge week Toshi-chan, if you're nervous we'll help you won't we Menoly?"

"Naturally Loly."

The duo grinned and Toshiko wished to punch them in their heavily powdered faces-it was only for fear of ruining her cover that she did not.

Turning her back to the sisters? Cousins? Couple? She really didn't give a flying fig, Toshiko eyed the long pole-if she used her inhuman powers she could race up the pole and race back down in record time but she doubted the damn thing was even sturdy enough to handle her raw blazing energy.

"Hurry up Toshiko-chan I mean you don't really expect your sisters-in-training to stand out here and roast in the sun all day do you?"

"Loly, Menoly, that is enough!"

The girls jumped "OH but Hali-nee we were just-we were-um when did you-how long have-I like what you've done with your hair."

Toshiko felt like hurling and how oh so fitting it would be too-the uber annoying duo were all decked out in white-smirking a bit at her not so angelic thoughts she rolled up her sleeves, pulled back her hair (it was becoming too long and the very first chance she could she was going to get it cut, maybe this time above her ears. She gripped the pole and started to climb.

()()

When the snowy-blonde was a good 3 quarters of the way up the pole she called down to the group "What exactly am I supposed to be doing up here anyway?" she asked

"You're looking for a golden feather. Its said to have magical healing properties-legend has it that in ancient times a goddess hid it on these very grounds-any further information can be found in the archive section in the campus library."

Healing properties? Golden feathers? Ridiculous. There was no such thing. Healers and goddesses existed but neither creature came equipped with golden feathers.

Toshiko felt like rolling her eyes but what was the point?

Once she caught up to the princess (who had mysteriously "disappeared" she could move on to the next step in her journey and get away from these painfully annoying humans.

She climbed on and nearly lost her balance when…

There over on the other side of the hill (as if to mock her) was the princess but the auburn haired girl was not alone-another was with her-a human-pale with medium length raven-hair and what appeared to be a sprained ankle-

Her lips were moving but she did not appear to be in any pain or discomfort-most likely the presence of the goddess only less than a few feet away from her had something to do with it.

Both were barefoot-the was girl swinging her legs back and forth gently in the small pool of water (clearly created by magical means) while the goddess spun around in circles with her arms spread out-to an unknowing observer it looked like a simple dance or a carefree frolic in the hills but Toshiko knew better.

The way the bright green hill shimmered a golden color-the princess was gather her natural energy from the earth and healing the raven-haired human.

Toshiko gnashed her teeth together-the very second the opportunity to strangle the goddess presented it self she would-

Rubbing the side of her head while she continued to grip the pole with the other, the snow-haired prodigy searched for the 'feather'

()()

Rangiku still would have preferred to join Toshiko in her adventure as real life sorority girl rather than start her own adventure into the underworld but her kachou had refused-

()()

FLASH

"No one is going to believe that you are a student Matsumoto. I refuse to let you jeopardize the mission just so you can get your rocks off."

"Oh but Toshiko-chaaaan I promise I'll be good-you won't even know I'm there."

The young prodigy looked at Rangiku as though she were a total and complete idiot "How could I not know you are there when those things (the snow-haired girl gestured to the ginger blondes' massive jugs) enter the room before you."

The woman pouted. She happened to be rather fond of her twin gals. "Pleeeeease Kachou let me go with you?"

"No."

'Oh fine I guess I'll just grab my cloak and hiking boots and set off into the dark and dank depths of the underworld but you are going to be so sorry you said no if I die down there."

Icicle blues rolled "You're a shapeshifter, Matsumoto even if a demon or two did come after you-and that is a very big IF-you can out run and outsmart them."

Again Rangiku pouted, "I'm beginning to think you don't like me, Kachou."

Another eye roll. "I am not your kachou and even if I was I-the prodigy trailed off and shook her head. "Matsumoto go to the underworld, that is an order!"

The ginger blonde sniffed, "You don't have to yell at me."

A glare. "You are wasting time."

"Time is overrated-besides its not like there's a real deadline or anything."

"True. But I don't wish to spend the next 100 years tracking down the last of our kind."

()()

Not just anyone was welcome in the underworld. Rangiku knew this from personal experience, which is why this time the ginger blonde came prepared.

One of the perks that came along with being a shapeshifter was having the ability to change her voice as well as her image.

"Halt! Who goes there?"

"It is I, Haineko, the guardian of the Ash realm."

It wasn't entirely far fetched-Haineko was her cousin 8 times removed and-

"Haineko of the Ash realm, why have you come here?"

"I wish to speak with the Lust Magician."

Rangiku really hated talking to a wall-why couldn't the little bastard of a demon just show his face.

There was a moment of silence and then

"Impossible. Nnoitra-sama is busy at the moment. Return at sundown and then and only then will he speak to you, cat."

Sundown?

Rangiku pouted.

But she didn't want to wait that long-hell she didn't want to spend more than a couple of hours in the underworld? What would she do to keep herself entertained? Could she keep herself entertained long enough?

()()()

Picture it if you will a long bridge-and underneath this bridge is a tunnel-a rainbow tunnel-at the end of the tunnel according to myth there is a man-a leprechaun who will grant the wish of a human/or humans…for a price

Three brothers have heard this myth-have followed and researched it since their childhood and now after years of dead ends and broken dreams and a half a lifetime of disappoint he appears…

"Wait a minute I thought Leprechauns were sneaky, manipulative, ugly, bad tempered little men with red hair Irish accents and a sickening obsession with all things gold-the books never said anything about a 6'1 male with cat ears and a tail who smokes, chews bubblegum and wears a wife beater, tight leather pants and combat boots."

The Pantherchaun who shall from this moment forth be known as Grimmjow Jeagerjaques grinned at second tallest of the triplets "What can I say brat, don't believe everything the fairy tales tell you."

PART 1 END