Faces of the Forbidden

Summary: He's with you because he cares, a voice inside them says.

Pairing: Apollo&others

Note: whew yeah not dead yet guys; also no capitalization because lazy/style

7. arguably promiscuous

he wishes he could just throw away all the people whom he has had relations with because life would be so much easier, honestly, but they tug and grip at his heart and—who is he even kidding, anyways?

he uses people because he's broken and he cares too, too much.

.

she doesn't know her own name but her eyes are still fiery and strikingly blue and there's something on her wrist and it reads "jane doe." she's sort of drugged up or something because she has this dazed look on her face like she can't remember him but wants to. it makes him sad, really sad. and that tag that says "jane doe" is like an accusation—for everything that he could have done to stop it, but didn't, and for all the times he didn't let her know that he loved her, but still did.

she always was a doe—so graceful and kind and it was his nickname for her, you know—but not a jane, never a jane, he hasn't been with anyone with that name since—

"excuse me, sir," says a nurse nearby, "do you know her?"

so many memories flash through his mind, flickering like a ghost—a ghost of a memory, a ghost of her.

"her name," whispers he, the memories getting so strong—he can taste the liquor she bought him on his tongue, feel the beating of her heart as he lies with her—closes his eyes, "was lilian."

.

"i think," justin says awkwardly—he wasn't the best at this sort of thing, the confessing, the secret giving, you know. "i don't think i'm gay anymore. i've—i've met someone, and she's amazing. i'm sorry."

he wants to break down and cry, really he does—but reputations are so carefully crafted and easily torn, so he winks instead. "i'll always love you. but you tell me if it doesn't work out, hm?"

"yeah," the other one says, pleased. "yeah, i will." and the last kiss they share—it means goodbye. he can feel through his bones, taste it on the tip of his tongue.

(he does cry, though. later. after. always.)