Crossed Over

By Ohara Pirate

Chapter 1 – Is this Heaven or Hell?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters who are originally from Ranma 1/2 or Ah! My Goddess… even if I could own them, I'd much rather prefer to just create my own characters that can rival them in every shape and form.

This is an independent oneshot, and its characters and storyline have nothing to do with the other chapters of 'Crossed Over.'

Summary: This is what happens when you get drunk in a strange, new town.

"characters talking"

'characters thinking'

flashback

A young man with black hair tied into a pigtail dressed in dirty and torn Chinese clothing was stumbling down the streets of Nekomi. Anyone looking at him could tell he was plastered out of his mind, especially from the smell and the way he was going up to random bystanders yelling, it wasn't my fault Akane!

Most people were quickly moving out of his way, although many of the girls seemed to be taking pictures of his muscular form and giggling amongst themselves. It wasn't often they came across beefcake like this, even if he was drunk as a skunk.

Saotome Ranma was not having a good day. It started out okay, at least by his usual standards. He woke up the same way, by being thrown into the koi pond by his lazy fatass father who really needed to get a dictionary and look up the word hypocrite. Oh, who was he kidding, the old man probably never even read a book in his life, just stupid scrolls and panda signs.

"Lousy stupid Oyaji…" Ranma muttered while he posed for a few pictures that a normal looking schoolgirl had the courage to ask for. He liked that, most girls nowadays either beat the living hell out of him or wanted him to marry them. All the normal girls tended to stay a good distance away from him because the psycho females in his life tended to be jealous very quickly, and they dealt with jealously with unmitigated violence. He found it pretty sad that the only girls who could deal with the insanity of his life were the ones that usually caused it.

Why couldn't the girls in his life be more like the normal ones but nope, they all had to suck! Ranma should have known it was a bad day when instead of a delicious Kasumi breakfast, he was forced to take down Akane's latest freaky creation. Her attempt at Chicken Pot Pie, never mind that it's normally not a breakfast dish… it had feathers in it, freakin' feathers. When Ranma questioned this, he just got the entire thing shoved down his throat and malleted away.

He could later confirm that Akane did indeed stick an entire chicken inside the pie, feathers intact, because he could actually taste the raw uncooked meat and organs still in it. A recipe that called for a whole chicken did not mean puitting a whole unplucked chicken into the dish!

Needless to say, Ranma was particularly late for school that morning. He swore that Akane's "pie" gave him hallucinations because he spent a good few hours having the most intelligent conversation of his life with Chickenfoot, Doraemon, Astro Boy, and his mom dressed up in a Totoro-costume. He actually would have gotten to school earlier, but he got depressed after realizing that that was the best conversation he ever had in his life, outside of talking with his real mom.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the other two "official" fiancées and one unofficial one were the reason why he was drunk as hell right now. He was suspicious right off the bat when all three of them came to him, together, after school. Only bad things happened when two or more of the fiancées worked together, at least to him it did. But the combination of 'Ran-chan,' 'Airen,' and 'Ranma-sama' was very overpowering, plus he didn't put up much of a fight with the pain from breakfast still coursing through his body. He thought it would be easier to just shut them up and eat their food, then try to argue or ignore them.

Ranma knew the okonomiyaki, ramen, and sushi might be traps, but honestly didn't care that much because for some odd reason he was absolutely starving at that time. It was strange considering that he spent most of the day lying around the nurse's office with a stomachache, trying to separate reality from some really weird illusions. He did not want to envision Hinako-sensei as part giraffe again for as long as he lived.

He thought the trio's food tasted pretty weird, much different from what he was used to, but he guessed that Ucchan and Shampoo probably used a new recipe. Kodachi's meal wasn't paralyzing him or causing any weird effects, so he took it in good faith that her food wasn't meant to harm him. He normally wouldn't have even looked at a meal made by the gymnast but he was hungry, and her food looked great!

The secret ingredients in the dishes began to take fruition shortly after he finished, and the world became a blurry, stumbly place. The girls took this time to throw their incredibly shaped bodies at him. He tried to resist, he honestly did because Ranma knew that if he responded to those three in any way, he would have only dire consequences to look forward to from either Akane or Nabiki.

Ranma tried a new method in calming the situation, but when his pathetic attempt at verbal diplomacy involved calling Akane, Chewbacca of all things, his uncute fiancée released all her aggravation out on him via the form of Mallet-sama.

She happened to be the very reason why Ranma was in Nekomi right now. Bet he was going to get blamed, by the fathers, for not going back to school to walk Akane home or something stupid like that. She managed to walk home all by herself for years before he came along, but now all of a sudden she needed a chaperone? Besides who was going to do anything against her anyway, it's not like she got kidnapped all… the… time…

Crap, Ranma really hoped she wasn't taken by a weirdo again. That would definitely harsh his mellow.

Ranma would never say this to anyone, even under threat of Happosai, but during that whole debacle of a wedding, he can say that his feelings for Akane reached a whole new level. She looked amazing in that dress of hers and they even had some nice moments alone, but after that passed, everything went back to the mallet-happy norm.

Hell, he'd dare say the situation back home got even worse. Whenever any of the other fiancées were nearby, Akane always felt the need to remind him of the fact that he said I love you to her, something he still didn't remember doing! Never leaving him alone, becoming even more jealous and possessive over him, if it was possible she began to yell at him even more than she did before.

He knew that they could never ever work as a couple, especially not a married one. Ranma could only see it ending very badly for him, in fact he had nightmares about it. She would kill him in a fit of jealously with Mallet-sama or through massive food poisoning, either method didn't really appeal to him.

Wow, being drunk made him pretty smart, no wonder people loved to get sloshed all the time. He never knew how liberating being under the effects of alcohol could be.

Actually, now that he thought about it with alcohol on the brain, screw everyone! Screw Nerima! Screw family honor! Oh shit, did he really just think that, yea he did! Screw honor! He was drunk in his happy place right now, walking around in a new city, and he was going to enjoy every little bit of freedom while he could.

Why couldn't there be nicer, normal people in his life like Kasumi. She was super nice, only Kasumi wasn't normal. Nope, she was a robot, she had to be. No wait, she was a medabot! That would be cool, watching her robattle with her perfect cheery smile attack that blinds everyone into submission.

Ranma gave a small chuckle at that. "Hehehe… robots are cool. I bet I'd be an awesome Gundam fighter. No, wait! An Evangelion, that'd be more awesomer."

Was awesomer even a word?

Ranma continued to move wherever it was his feet were leading him. He looked down at them curiously, "Hey you guys mind telling me where we're going?" After a few moments, he glared at their silence, "Fine, don't tell me. But there better be food or more alcohol."

Suddenly halting to a stop, despite his feet's insistence to keep walking, he backtracked to the window of a toy store he passed, to see a board game called Blame Ranma! The Game Where Nothing is Your Fault, and It's All His!

He stared blankly trying to wonder if it was another Ranma, but nope there was a picture of him running away from a mob of people native to Nerima. Leaning his forehead on the glass, mainly for support since he was wobbly, Ranma took a closer look to see that one Tendo Nabiki-sama was the sole proprietor of the game's creation.

Oh yea, now he remembered. Nabiki made a special limited edition board game of his life because the Ranma Fanclub had recently hit its 10,000th member. Stores charged 2,500 yen for the game, while each club member received a complementary game at only the low, low price of 1,000 yen with no tax.

Yay!

No, wait, that's not yay! That sucked, he didn't even get anything out of that gaming deal.

In fact, he remembered through his hazy memory that he had to work all last summer, going around to Ranma Fanclub members, signing autographs and taking pictures with gropey girls. Ranma didn't get anything out of that either, except for a hell of a lot more admirers who kept commenting that he looked even better in real life than he did in pictures and videos.

The entire world seemed to be against him, except for wonderful Kasumi who was a medabot, and someday they would enter the robattle tournament and win top prize and achieve world domination!

Ranma threw his arms into the air and shouted to the heavens, "One day we shall rule the world Kasumi-bot!"

After cheering the greatness of Kasumi a bit more, Ranma sighed depressingly and turned to talk to his reflection on the glass window, "The day started out so well too, with me waking up the usual way…"

Wait, didn't he say this already, he was pretty sure he did. Moving on, "After kicking Oyaji's ass yet another time, I went down to breakfast for some delicious medabot-made food. But noooo, what did I see instead of edible nummy-yummy food. A pie that had feathers in it, and I think it was laced with drugs or something. Because uncooked meat is not supposed to make you see stuff like I did this entire morning. Oh man, don't tell me that idiot gorilla thought the pot in Chicken Pot Pie was actually pot… Does she even know what marijuana is? Wait, how do I know what it is?"

Suddenly, a voice to the side interrupted his soulful conversation with the handsome guy in the window who looked suspiciously like himself. "Hey kid, hit the road. You're the scaring people who want to come into the club with your freaky talking to yourself."

Ranma looked at the big burly guy who looked pretty big, wait he said big already. Well, it deserved repeating, this guy was really big. He was wearing come cool sunglasses too, but why would he wear them at night? Did he want to go blind? Was this big guy even Japanese? Was he a wrestler like those guys who wore panties and thongs on television?

He'd only ever seen American Wrestling, fake as it was due to Kasumi liking it so much, and he liked hanging out with Kasumi. Plus, he had to admit it was fun to watch; nothing more entertaining than several people beating each other up even if they liked to wear panties.

Ranma would have contemplated the size of the big guy some more, if the most important question in the world wasn't on the tip of his tongue, "What's a club? Are you talking about a sandwich? Who would want to go into a sandwich?" Alright, it was the three most important questions in the world.

"Can I have a sandwich?" Make that four.

The big, big guy looked at him with an expression reminding him of Nabiki, making Ranma instantly not like him despite the fact that he was still curious about what the man ate to grow that big.

Wrestler-dude, Ranma privately dubbed him the Undertaker, simply shook his head in exasperation while muttering about stupid drunk kids. "A club is a respectful establishment for mature individuals who wish to partake in exquisite beverages and enjoy tasteful entertainment. Only those of the utmost maturity and proper age can enter."

This comment would have held more merit if at that very moment, he didn't open the door to let out an obviously drunk salary man with a necktie wrapped around his head, who was groping an equally drunk giggling middle-aged woman who looked like she was wearing lingerie rather than public clothing; lingerie a few sizes too small. Ranma and wrestler-dude stared at the sad, drunken spectacle for a while.

Finally, Ranma turned his attention back to wrestler-dude Kevin Nash with a raised eyebrow and sarcastically mumbled, "Mature people huh?"

Wrestler-dude, whose occupation was really a bouncer, simply looked back with a neutral expression although a small twitch of the face could be seen. "Hey, I said they enter that way, never said they left with that same maturity."

Ranma looked defiantly at Akane's obvious birth father, since both strongly resembled gorillas. "Move aside then King Kong Bundy, I'm mature enough to enter," Yet another comment that would have had more merit if he wasn't swaying back and forth, and didn't look like he was going to puke.

"Look kid, doesn't matter how mature you are, you're still too young," Wrestler-dude tried to gentle rebuke him. But he didn't realize that he made multiple mistakes when dealing with Nerima's premiere fighter. Ranma didn't like being called kid, he didn't like being told he couldn't do anything, and he certainly did not like a stranger touching him like the big guy was currently doing, gently gripping his shoulders and trying to lead him away.

Suddenly, a sharp cry of pain was heard from the large individual and it was a strange sight to be sure for anyone passing by. A teenager, despite obviously being in great shape if the muscles were any indication, was clamped onto the hands of an incredibly huge and buff man with such strength that his it looked like the older man's fingers were going to pop. The size difference between these two was so much that it seemed strange that their situation wasn't reversed; instead the teen looked like he was going to put the man in the hospital.

Ranma sighed, feeling the buzz in his head slowly dissipate due to frustration and anger. It was depressing since he really liked the buzz, he had to get it back. "Look here, Mr. The Rock, I don't really want to hurt you. So here's an idea, how about you and I go into the club together and you can keep an eye on me to make sure I'm being mature enough." As Ranma was leading himself and his new friend towards the door, it suddenly blew open as a bald man just as big as wrestler-dude was thrown out of the club.

Ranma compared the big guy whose hands he was gripping very tightly and the knocked-out big guy who looked like he was trampled on by a wild animal, and came to the only conclusion that could possibly be true. He turned to the bouncer-dude, looking like he just solved the world's greatest puzzle, "Hey Shawn Michaels, wait you're bigger than him. Hey Triple H, I didn't know you had a brother. I shall call him Stone Cold Steve Austin because he's bald."

With that very important fact out of the way, Ranma continued to forcibly lead his new friend into the club. Once inside, he saw that the person responsible for throwing the bald man out the door was in fact a gorgeous, curvy blonde woman with beautiful pale skin that seemed to glow among the club lights. All in all, nothing too special as his life was filled with women just as beautiful as her. Ranma would have ignored the woman completely, if it wasn't for the fact that she was standing on the bar table, yelling out profanities and demanding more alcohol while lifting two bouncers over her head, choking them in each hand.

"Damn you Belldandy! Damn you to hell! That teapot was supposed to be perfect! Because of you, Hild-sama's angry at me now! I'll get you for this, and your sisters too, and Keiichi!"

"Okay new deal here, Bret Hart," Ranma stated calmly as he turned back to the original wrestler-dude, his new best friend in the whole world, "You let me stay and I'll get rid of her. Got it?" Before he could get an answer, Ranma quickly ducked down to avoid the two men who the blonde menace randomly threw in his direction. Unfortunately he forgot to take wrestler-dude down with him, so the two bodies smashed into the poor bouncer and all three violently went out the window.

Straightening up and shaking the glass out of his hair, Ranma blink-blinked in confusion when he didn't see his newest friend anymore. He shrugged, not really caring and quietly mumbled, "I guess that's a yes."

Getting closer to the female hurricane of destruction, he noticed some strange things about her. There were weird markings on her face, specifically on her forehead and cheekbones. On her forehead were two lines going straight down, making it look like she was glaring all the time which Ranma found funny. Wait, that wasn't funny at all. "Need more alcohol so stupid shit seems funny again," he shook his head lightly hoping to get the alcohol in his system flowing again. Back to the weird chick, the markings on her cheekbones resembled two triangles put together. Staring very intently, he decided even in his now lightly drunk state, there was nothing funny about triangles.

As if a woman who would tattoo her face wasn't weird enough, she was dressed like someone… who was dressed very weirdly. He couldn't explain it any other way, she was dressed in the oddest clothing he's ever seen and he's seen that Disney movie Aladdin! Of course, it was with Kasumi.

Sighing once more at the thought of the beautiful medabot, he adoringly thought, 'Soon Kasumi, very soon we'll get the recognition we deserve in the Pokémon world!'

He shook away all thoughts of Kasumi's and his future as Pokémon-Medabot leaders, at least for the time being. He immediately took note of the most important fact that his drunken blurry mind could think of as he stared at the blonde.

Her boobs!

Her breasts were so average, at least compared to most of the women he knew, including his girl-form. Ranma heard rumors and stories that most Gaijin women had huge gigantic breasts, yet hers were a B-cup at best. Hell, the only woman he personally knew with boobs smaller were Akane, something he made constant mention of, which would explain why he endured so much pain in his life.

'If only I'd watch my mouth and speak before I think, maybe I wouldn't get hit so often…. Huh, figures I'd be getting epiphanies while I'm hammered,' Ranma would have thought longer on this new fountain of knowledge he was getting from the scarcely used part of his brain, except he was still stunned at his entire world collapsing around. 'Everything I've known in my life is a life!'

"DAMMIT, WHY ARE YOUR BOOBS SO SMALL BLONDIE!"

The entire club's activities came to a screeching halt as everyone turned their attention away from the blonde destroyer to the soon-to-be-dead idiot who insulted the blonde destroyer.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY, SHITHEAD?" The blonde woman shrieked in rage as she hopped off the bar and stomped towards the obviously brain-dead mortal. She was already pissed at her ruined day, all because of little miss perfect goddess, beating this dumbass down was the perfect way to release some stress.

"Do you have any fucking clue who you just insulted here, skinbag?" She threatened, rolling up her sleeves to fry the idiot into dust. Although she had to admit, he was pretty easy on the eyes, too bad he had to die horribly for insulting her perfect breasts. Her overactive imagination was focused so hard on the number of bloody, gruesome deaths she could inflict on the insufferably handsome boy that she didn't notice that her target completely ignored her and simply went to sit at the bar.

"Hey, can I get something, anything really strong that'll help me get really badly drunk? Make it two actually." At hearing his voice behind her, she turned back to see the pigtailed jerk sitting down slouched over, casually eating some cashews.

What made it even more infuriating was the fact that he seemed to be purposely making eye contact with her and smirking cutely. She sneered, getting even more pissed off, this show of disrespect was basically saying hah, you suck girly, didn't even notice that I walked right past ya.

Actually he was saying that right now. "Hah, you suck girly, didn't even notice that I walked right past ya."

She could honestly say that she detested this boy right now, or at least she would have said it if he wasn't holding a shot of alcohol for her to take. She sat down and of course, took it down without hesitation and purred at feeling that familiar burn going down her throat.

Blushing at the sight of her nearly writhing in pleasure, Ranma quickly downed his own shot and promptly began to choke causing the blonde to laugh hysterically. "Holy crap, my throat's burnin'. What the hell is this?" He asked the bartender who looked at him with worry in his eyes because he was still coughing rather harshly. Ranma couldn't help it, it was really strong.

"It's an American alcohol called Bacardi 151, umm… sir?" The bartender said the last part with a bit of hesitation because Ranma didn't look any older than his youngest child. Only reason he even gave the kid a drink was he didn't want to deny the soon-to-be-dead boy's last wishes. "You said you wanted strong, strongest we've got is that there rum."

Blinking a little bit, that buzz Ranma was feeling earlier in the day came back with a vengeance and apparently it brought a lot of friends. He sighed happily as the world became just a little bit happier for him. He signaled for the bartender, "Wow… can I get another of these then? One more for my uhh… blondie here too, I guess."

Ranma turned to his female companion who still looked like she was going to murder him despite appreciating the drink given to her and the good laugh too.

"Look here Blondie…"

"My name's Mara, ya dumb meatsack. Mara, 1st Class Unlimited Demon of Niflheim! Greatest of Hild-sama's Generals! Nobody's better than me!" By the end of her introduction, she was standing with one foot on the bar, laughing like a lunatic.

Ranma aimlessly nodded in understanding or maybe it was for the bartender who finally got them their second shot.

"Okay then. Look here Mara, greatest of Nagoya…" Ignoring her harsh cry of Niflheim, "Whatever, we can either fight it out, with you probably losing. Very badly, by the way… or I could lose, yea that's a possibility too." Ranma hastily inserted after seeing her eyes begin to glow red, which he found pretty cool and a little unnerving.

It was one thing to see a female emit a big bright aura of self-righteous feminine fury, but he never met one whose eyes could glow like that. He continued as if he wasn't interrupted by a scary chick with glowing eyes, "We could fight or we can just drink more booze, and get absolutely hammered. Your choice blondie, I mean… Mara."

Mara contemplated the decision for a moment, as she downed her shot, watching in the corner of her eye Ranma drink his too. Only this time without the choking, much to her displeasure. As the bartender refilled their third shot which she quickly took down both, much to her drinking partner's loud chagrin.

'Drink or fight, why choose?' Mara thought mischievously.

"You want to know what my choice is…" She quickly kicked out her leg, aiming for his head but Ranma managed to narrowly avoid the attack at the last second by swiftly hopping forward and twisting his body to land, sitting down on the bar table. Normally, he wouldn't dare hit back since his opponent was a girl and due to his chauvinistic upbringing, considered most girls to be weaker than him and he hated fighting people weaker than him. 'Chauvinistic, wow I really am smarter when I'm drunk,' Ranma thought with a smile and a bit of irony. 'Hey, irony too, when did I learn these words? Weird.'

Unfortunately, due to the alcohol in his system, his judgment was severely hampered and his body's reaction was to strike back to such an assault, which he did by grabbing onto Mara's extended shapely leg with one arm and punching her across the face with the other.

His eyes widening in shock, he immediately dropped the leg that was being held. "Oh shit, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do that! Please be okay!" Ranma hastily yelled out in horror at seeing what he did, apologizing with even more force after noticing that her lips were bleeding. He choked down any more words of remorse after seeing her slowly lick the blood off her lips and grin in delight.

She let out a sharp roar of laughter and called for the bartender to give them some more shots. "Actually made me bleed… son of a bitch, and here I thought you were another big headed mortal with too much mouth." Mara looked at Ranma with jaded eyes and newly found appreciation before downing her shot and nodding for him to do the same. Something he did very carefully and slowly, without ever taking his eyes off her.

The moment Ranma finished his drink, Mara instantly threw her shot glass at his head, forcing him to avoid by ducking. This time, she anticipated the move and leapt forward to meet his face with knee. As he was propelled backwards, she grabbed onto his ankle, spun around several times, and used the extra momentum to fling him across the club.

The sea of people screamed in panic as they all rushed to avoid the thrown martial artist and random debris. Ranma violently crashed into several tables, chairs, and finally slammed straight through the wall, his limp body falling to the floor.

Mara felt a genuine laugh bubbling up inside of her at feeling the fear and panic exude off the scared mortals as they all ran out of the club, and of course at the sight of Ranma still lying on the ground. She knew that wasn't it for him, anyone strong enough to make her bleed could take a hell of a lot more than that.

Letting out one more whoop, she yelled out joyously, "Hey handsome, why don't we make this a game? Whoever gets a point buys the two of us a new round; a point's gonna be awarded to whoever knocks the other off their feet. Already gave you the first one for free, but this round's on you pretty boy! Unless of course, that little throw knocked too much wind out of ya!"

That shit-eating grin she's been wearing since Ranma first hit her, only got wider at seeing her attractive opponent get up with zero effort and looking uninjured at all. As he reached the bar, he indicated for the bartender to pour them another shot, which they both downed easily without taking their eyes off each other.

"Okay then, one round on you and one on me right?" Mara nodded in affirmation with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Alright then blondie, I'm takin' a wild guess here and sayin' you ain't a normal girl are ya?" This adrenaline was quickly metabolizing the alcohol out of his system, letting him think a bit more clearly. Ranma held up his right hand and wiggled his fingers, "I can count on one hand the amount of girls who can do that and still have some fingers left over. So get ready cause there'll be no holdin' back from me now."

Mara simply smirked before lashing out with a wicked right hook, something that Ranma easily avoided by spinning with the motion of the punch and countering with a spin-kick which was blocked with a high-kick of her own.

Ranma smirked, "This should be fun."

What happened afterwards was an impressive array of martial arts technique and high level skill. Punches met with punches, kicks for kicks, blocking, dodging, spinning, and lots of flipping. It was like watching the greatest martial arts film with perfect choreography, only with a lot more collateral damage since their strikes were strong enough to easily break concrete.

During this time, they were each taking long swigs of whatever bottle of liquor they could grab since this fight was causing their bodies to burn the alcohol away faster than they could get drunk.

"Look, I never turn down a fight and all, but I was hoping we'd just drink and get sloshed."

"That's just what we're doing cutie, in a much more fun fashion."

"But come on, this is harshing my buzz."

"Quit your bitchin', here!" Taking the half-empty bottle of whiskey she had in her hand, Mara shoved it into Ranma's mouth and let out an uppercut hoping to get him while he was drinking. Somehow, he managed to bend his body to the side at an impossible angle and retaliated by throwing the now empty bottle at her head which she dodged, and she almost got tripped with a low spin-kick.

Ranma might have been impressed with her fighting skills, but Mara was definitely impressed with his drinking skills. Despite the adrenaline causing him to become more alert, his body's reaction time should have become a lot more sluggish, especially with the amount of booze they've been consuming during their little foreplay action. But nope, if anything he was actually getting sharper and more precise with his attacks.

Yup, Mara felt like she hit the motherload here.

After a few minutes elapsed, the fight started to get really boring for her, especially as neither mortal nor demoness could get the upper hand. While fancy punches and kicks were fun and all, Mara hated straight up fighting because it was so boring! Where were all the explosions and pretty lights? While she enjoyed two beefcakes getting it on, beating the shit out of each other with sweat dripping down their muscular bodies; she absolutely hated doing it herself, she loved blowing shit up.

With that in mind, she immediately kicked the fight up a notch by summoning up a fireball in her hand and letting it loose after moving back to dodge an elbow strike. Mara retained enough common sense even in her slightly drunken state to realize that she couldn't use full power, even on a special mortal like Ranma, but the fireball still packed a decent amount of oomph to it. She watched with a satisfied grin as her magic attack connected with her target and sent him flying back once more, causing some actual pain if his moaning was any sign.

"What's wrong there honey, I hope I didn't hurt you too badly there lover?" She mocked cruelly while inwardly clapping in joy at seeing her new toy getting back up once more. "Whoa," Mara was shocked to see that her attack barely did anything outside of destroying his shirt and slight surface damage, 'This boy just keeps getting more and more delicious.'

"Ugh… I ain't your lover, lady. Shit, it's two on me now," Ranma groaned, lightly clutching his stomach where the fireball attack hit. It didn't burn any flesh off but it did scorch some skin, probably going to leave a scar, not to mention it seriously hurt too. He might have been hit with worse in his lifetime like Ryoga's Perfect Shishi Hokadan, but that didn't mean fire didn't hurt like a bitch!

Ranma knocked on the bar table to the bartender, who was still bravely in the club watching these two monster beat the crap out of each other.

After downing his shot and closely watching Mara finish hers, Ranma flipped backwards and kicked the empty glass out of her hands. As Ranma landed on his feet and straightened up, he could see that she was distracted by watching the glass still in midair and he took this opening to rush forward with his own special technique.

"Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!"

Letting out hundreds of punches in the span of a single second, Ranma easily overwhelmed the defensives of the distracted demoness, and sent her sailing into several tables near the entrance. This process was done so quickly by Ranma, that by the time the final punch landed, he quickly positioned his hand to the side to gently catch the shot glass that he kicked up moments ago, before it smashed onto the bar table. The bartender was so impressed by this that he had to clap in awe at seeing this boy perform such a jaw-dropping move.

Mara couldn't believe the treasure trove she came upon by accident, this boy was simply beyond her wildest dreams. She was caught completely unprepared at seeing the mortal male pull out a hat trick of his own, especially one as impressive as that. Hell, she didn't even know that mere mortals were capable of moves like that!

Even though she was on the cold dirty floor and slightly hurting, Mara couldn't help but wonder what Hild-sama would think of this guy. Maybe if she introduced the two, her boss wouldn't be as angry with her for messing up so much when it came to the Goddesses, especially with her latest failure involving the teapot. Hild-sama always did love interesting things, and this boy was as interesting as they came plus he was seriously cute to boot.

With that encouraging thought in mind, Mara slowly got up and wiped her clothes of any debris. "Alright lover boy, that was a pretty cool trick, let's see what else you can do." Raising her head, she was surprised to see that the boy she was having so much fun with had apparently ditched her.

"Where the hell did he go?" Mara furiously demanded from the bartender, picking him up and glaring at him with glowing red eyes. He quickly explained that while she was on the ground, Ranma had looked at the clock on the wall, realized the time and disappeared into the night while carrying a bottle of vodka.

She cursed out loud and teleported to the rooftops in hopes of re-finding her best chance of getting out of Hell's doghouse and back into Hild-sama's good graces.

Although Mara wouldn't admit it, she was a little saddened that he left without at least saying goodbye.

The bartender looked around his ruined club and prayed that his insurance covered destruction of this magnitude. He sighed despairingly and let out a few crocodile tears, "This was the whole reason why I moved from Juuban to Nekomi. I thought I was going to leave this kind of violent, senseless destruction behind!"

Ranma looked regrettably at the empty bottle of vodka he just finished off, and turned to the direction of the bar he just left. It was so weird, he got drunk fairly quickly but at the moment never seemed to stay in that drunken state for too long.

"Maybe it's the blood flowing from adrenaline. I wonder if I can go back for another bottle," Ranma shook his head, knowing that if he didn't get his ass back to Nerima, everyone from their grandparents to dead pets was going to be after him pretty soon.

He was already pushing his luck. He's never been gone for this long before without running into somebody he knew from Nerima.

As Ranma jumped off to the next rooftop, a sudden burst of fire scorched the spot he was standing on before. Landing in panic, thinking that Nerima-ites had finally found him, he looked up in surprise to see Mara, his all-time favorite and only drinking partner glaring at him with such ferocity that he could have sworn they were engaged.

Oddest thing was that she seemed to be floating in the air, which was something he definitely wanted to learn. But he didn't think she was willing to teach him at the moment…

Lightly landing on the same rooftop as him, Mara harshly purred out, "Where are you going honey? If you didn't like the foreplay, we could have just gone straight to the main event!"

…Nope, she wasn't going to teach him at all.

With an angry cry, Mara let out several bolts of lightning that had Ranma scrambling for cover before he fired back with a blast of his own.

"Moko Takabisha!"

Mara's eyebrows raised in shock at the sight of the mortal channeling life energy; ki, chi, chakra, whatever those silly humans called it. Although, the end result was not what she was expecting… A tiny blast the size of a handball was fired towards the blonde bombshell, who brushed it away with a careless slap like it was a housefly. Mara started cracking up at the pathetic move, "Are you kidding me? Oh sweetie, maybe I misjudged you if that's the best you could do!"

Unfortunately for Ranma, the blast was so weak and small due to the fact that he wasn't feeling very confident fighting against a woman who had moves he'd never seen before, well fire was a common thing in his life but the lightning and flying, that was actually new. Well the flying wasn't new either , but Mara didn't have wings as far as he could see.

Not even Happosai or Cologne-Obaba could shoot out lightning or fly, or at least he didn't think they could. He had to ask Obaba later, if he managed to survive this encounter first.

"Fuck baby, I can do more damage than that with my tongue. Wanna see?" Mara demonstrated by sticking out her tongue, then wriggling and twisting it towards Ranma causing him to blush.

"Umm… maybe later," He squeaked out.

Shaking his head of inappropriate images, Ranma hurled himself to Mara's general direction, while doing his best to dodge the lightning bolts and fireballs hurled at him. He took cover again after failing to close the distance between himself and the enraged woman, so he settled for asking a few questions instead.

Ranma was rather curious after all, "Hey, ya related to the Phoenix Tribe by any chance?"

"Those birdbrains? You should be that lucky, lover. I'm much, much, MUCH stronger than them including their so-called God, Safflower? Safford? Whatever the hell his name is. Although I have to admit, that one could probably put up a decent fight."

Oh wow, she was talking about his greatest adversary to date like he was a novice. Ranma knew that he was pretty screwed if that were true.

"Really before ya roast me, ya mind tellin' me how ya got to be so powerful? Ya shoot lightning and fire, and ya can fly! Even with the shit I've seen in my life, that's pretty cool. Hey, you ever been to Jusenkyo?"

"I told you before cutie. Do I need to reintroduce myself again?" Mara sighed exasperatedly before teleporting in front of Ranma, much to his shock and surprise. Holy fuck, she could teleport too… This casual display of power only showed that while she was pissed off at him, Mara still considered this foreplay and was holding back quite a lot.

'I am a little out of my league here, aren't I?' The recent year, especially after the fights against Herb and Saffron, had Ranma mature enough to recognize that the beautiful woman before him was somebody who had more power in her dainty hands than his whole body.

Ranma knew for sure, that he had more skill than her in terms of fighting prowess. She had good moves but left a lot of openings for him to exploit. He might triumph over her in strength and speed, but couldn't be too sure since he didn't really know just how strong or fast she really was, or if she could augment those traits with ki like he could.

The only reason why Ranma wasn't trying a speed-blitz was because he wasn't sure if he could take her out with just physical moves. He was absolutely confident that he could overwhelm her with his lightning fast skills. There were only a handful of people on the planet who could match his overall speed, a fact he took great pride in. But he wasn't sure if she could just shrug off his hits, and he didn't want to risk running out of stamina in an endurance contest. Mara may not look tough but then again neither did a lot of people he fought and they proved to be a challenge at one point in his life or another.

Hell, Happosai and Cologne-Obaba were probably the two toughest fighters he knew and they looked like demented gnomes.

The other thing that he could easily see though, was that her special techniques and raw power greatly outclassed his. 'By my count, she shot out at least 37 bolts of lightning and around 18, 19 fireballs?' Ranma couldn't be sure, but each of her attacks seemed to do devastating damage, about as strong as his Moko Takabisha or Ryoga's Shishi Hokodan.

'She's not even winded, if anything I'm more tired than her from being forced to dodge so much,' Ranma knew that if either he or Ryoga shot out that many energy blasts, they would at least be breathing a little hard.

But look at her! Mara was just standing in front of him, all sexy and beautiful, casually checking her nails!

'Sexy and beautiful…?' Ranma blamed that sudden thought at the remnants of the alcohol.

If his Moko Takabisha wasn't working for him right now, then the only other high-level moves in his arsenal were the Kijin Raishu Dan and Hiryu Shoten Ha, but he didn't want to risk exposing those particular techniques until he saw what else Mara could do.

Ranma knew for sure that Hiryu Shoten Ha was out anyway, he wasn't about to reveal his biggest trump card unless absolutely necessary. Besides, if she was capable of countering the move like Herb or simply overpowering it like Saffron, then he might as well just shoot himself in both feet right now.

Ranma snapped out of his mental thoughts when Mara gently grasped both his hands and brought them to her lips to slowly kiss his fingers, digit by digit. He stuttered nervously as she brought his hands to her face and seemed to take her time enjoying the feel of them on her cheeks.

Hugging his body tightly to hers, Mara smiled sexily, "My name is Mara, 1st Class Unlimited Demon of Niflheim. You'd probably know it as Hell though."

"Wait, you're really a demon? And you're from Hell?" This news shook Ranma so badly that he didn't even try to escape her bear hug, even though it felt nice. He hadn't been hugged like this for a long time without somebody proclaiming all hell and war on him.

"I told you all this before, lover. What? Did you think I was lying or something?"

"No, I thought you were just stone cold drunk. I mean, come on, you were throwin' wrestlers around the place and cursin' out Bells of all things!"

A sure sign that he said something wrong was when her hug suddenly got tighter and tighter around his waist. It felt like she was trying to snap him in half. Ranma gulped nervously as Mara closed her eyes and gritted her teeth so tightly he was surprised that they didn't crack.

"Belldandy!" She seethed out with such hatred, that it made what he and his rivals had seem like love and brotherhood.

Lightning bolts suddenly fell from the sky to strike several areas around the two of them, forcing Ranma to strongly rip out of Mara's hug and swiftly move away to avoid getting electrocuted. In the blink of an eye, he managed to maneuver himself a couple of rooftops away from the supernova female, and was currently watching with a stunned expression as she channeled more power than anything he'd ever seen before.

"I hate Belldandy. I hate Keiichi. I hate all of them. Especially URD~~~!" She roared that name causing an incredibly powerful surge of lightning to emit from her body, destroying a good portion of the rooftop and striking the power poles below them. This caused a power surge that blacked out the entire neighborhood around them, actually from what he could see, the entire city of Nekomi seemed to be affected.

After it appeared safe, Ranma carefully leapt back onto what was left of the rooftop. From his view point, via moonlight since all the lights were darkened thanks to the blackout, he could see that Mara still seemed to be glaring, but now had a few tears flowing down her cheeks. Despite being slightly leery of her, he still felt the overwhelming urge to console her. He never could stand to see women cry, especially one that he was growing used to having around and was an awesome drinking partner.

Ranma warily approached Mara, taking one step at a time, worried that she might go nuts and let loose another lightning bomb. "Hey, Mara, you okay…?" He didn't know why he was surprised when she pulled him into a hug, and just tentatively hugged her back as she cried on his shoulder.

He jumped when she lightly kissed him on the crook of his neck, and got ready to bolt when she softly whispered, "You run. I chase. And when I catch you, and I will, I'll make what I did just now seem like a wet firecracker."

After a few moments of awkward silence and her kissing random spots of his face and neck, Mara finally spoke. "Damn lover, you smell good for someone who just drank a shitload of booze and fought a demoness," Ranma chuckled tensely at the remark and got even more uncomfortable as she started to nuzzle his neck and grind her body against his, but he honestly didn't want to do anything to set her off again. An angry female usually led to a badly hurt Ranma.

Ranma wasn't sure if it was the right moment to speak but he really wanted Mara to let go already. "So need an ear to talk to?" He jumped again when she chose that moment to gentle nibble and lick his earlobe.

"Rather do other things with your ear, cutie." Mara lazily sighed before finally releasing him, glaring at Ranma as he sighed in relief.

Mara turned around and stretched out her arms. "Sorry about that babe, just needed let out some pent-up stress, I guess."

Ranma nodded and looked around, wondering what else he could do now, other than just leave for home. But he stayed put, just in case Mara needed him. He didn't want to leave only to find out the next day that she went on a massive killing spree to deal with her stress. Something he was always afraid that Akane was going to do if he ever left Nerima.

As Ranma was busy contemplating what he would say to the police if/when Akane was arrested for murder, Mara started to speak again, making direct eye contact with him. "I had a childhood friend named Urd, we were actually best friends, almost like sisters. We did a lot of things together and shared stuff too, I always thought we were going to be together forever and shit."

Mara walked forward to claim her previous position, hugging him tightly and to Ranma's credit, he didn't try to run but simply held her back. "We didn't remain friends though. She decided to move far, far away to a place that I could never go to. Urd tried to explain it to me, saying all this bullshit nonsense about wanting to become a different person, finding her true destiny, blah, blah, blah. All I know is that she betrayed me, lied to me, and left me all alone… We were having so much fun, and in the span of a single day, she decided to just up and leave everything behind. Bitch."

Ranma could relate to that. Feelings of betrayal, of everyone leaving you…

Mara lifted her head, and Ranma could see that she once again had tears coming down. "Just like you, we were having so much fun and you just decided to leave without even telling me," He winced as she lightly bit the side of his neck.

"Don't do it again, handsome." What could he say to that? When looking at the face of a crying woman, who in the span of a single night made such a huge impact on his life. He simply nodded.

"Answer me this," Mara lightly kissed him on the lips causing him to freeze in shock. Ranma prayed it wasn't a marriage proposal.

"If I had the power to grant you a single wish, would you take it?"

Ranma blink-blinked, out of all the things she could have asked, that was not one of questions he didn't anticipate. He honestly didn't know what to say, it was a really odd request. "Ummm… I guess? Yes?"

He knew he made the wrong response when she suddenly jumped out of his arms and started to laugh manically. As she was jumping up and down, hollering in victory, a bottle slipped out of her pocket and rolled towards him.

Picking it up, Ranma could see that it was a bottle of eye drops…

He facefaulted painfully at this revelation.

…He just got played!

"What the fuck, Mara?" Ranma was shocked when Mara decided to jump back into his arms and this time gave him a deep, long kiss that felt like she violating his throat. Strangely, he didn't feel the need to violently push her back, like he did whenever Shampoo or Kodachi did that.

Mara threw her head back, cackling joyously. "I'm so sorry lover, I just needed you to say yes to wanting a wish. Now, Hild-sama won't fry my ass! Oh, thank all that's bad and naughty for gullible, sweet humans like you, handsome." He started to growl, but instead yelped as she groped his butt and pulled him in for another kiss. This time with tongue, lots and lots of tongue.

Pushing her back in irritation, he angrily said, "Was anything about that story even true?" Only immediate response he got was a lip-lock.

After a few minutes, she pulled back to let him suck in some air, which he did quite heavily. Mara kept hugging him while placing her hands on whatever naughty place she could touch, giggling perversely.

"Yea, all that shit about Urd was true. But I dealt with all that emo-crap years ago. Who do you think I am? Does it look like my last name is Uchiha?"

"I don't know what your last name is!"

"Well, it certainly wouldn't be Uchiha. If anything, it'll be Sarutobi because I'm kickass like that!"

"Why the hell are we talkin' about 'Naruto' of all things?"

"I don't know. You're the one who brought it up, lover."

"No, I didn't!"

"Whatever…" This was the last thing Mara said before she kissed Ranma yet another time, but this time surprising him with a soft and gentle kiss.

Ranma was really confused at the sudden change of pace, and not for the first time since this night began, was wondering why he didn't just leave? Hugging the blonde woman tightly, Ranma was really hoping the answer to that question, wasn't the one that just popped into his head. It couldn't be, he just met her for god's sake…

Mara let go of his lips with a satisfied sigh, "Thanks though honey, I may have gotten over Urd a long time ago but it still felt nice to say all that to someone other than myself."

"Umm… you're welcome?" He would never understand women.

"Hey, I just realized that I never got your name. While I'm enjoying calling you pet names, like lover, honey, cutie, baby, handsome, etc, etc, etc. I'd like to get the name of the man I'm planning to sex up…"

"It's Saotome Ran… wait, what was that last part?"

"Holy fuck me, you're Saotome Ranma? You're on the Watch List!"

"The What-list?"

Mara didn't really answer because she was too busy playing tonsil-hockey. Moaning appreciatively at Mara's skill, Ranma wondered what else could happen tonight, and just then it started to rain…

'I swear, this is not my fault!'

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Author's Comments (R&R)

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Wow, here we go. As I was writing up the third chapter for my Ranma/One Piece fusion, "Ohara Devils," this particular idea demanded me to write it.

Chapter 3 of Ohara Devils is also well on its way, just trying to work out the sequence of events since I'm trying new stuff.

Anyway, this particular story will be a series of oneshots of Ranma crossed over with whatever anime series I can think of. Hence the name, "Crossed Over."

I also like to apologize for the incoherent and random rambling going on in the first several paragraphs. I was trying to write it as if I was drunk, sadly I was not, with Ranma constantly changing the subject and bringing up weird stuff. Like Kasumi as a medabot, I don't know how I came upon that idea but I just went with it. I don't know about you guys, but from personal experience drunk people make absolutely no sense.

Before any of you say it, I know it's lame that I brought wrestling into it too but I had no other way to describe bouncers other than looking like wrestlers. And once I brought up wrestling, I had to mention a few of my favorite wrestlers from the old WWF days.

As side note, this chapter was originally supposed to be a Ranma & Hild matchup with hints of harem due to Ranma's big mouth. But as I kept writing and writing more, it just turned into a Ranma & Mara match instead. I actually don't mind cause I love how this story ended up.

I am planning on making a Ranma/AMG story in the future but I honestly don't know much about the Goddess universe other than the characters and some stories in the manga so it might be a while. In fact, this chapter is the original blueprint for the full AMG cross. I'm planning on using the plot and several things I've mentioned in this chapter, such as the 'Watch List' which I'll explain in detail if I ever get around to writing the story.

I actually hate it when Ranma is declared almighty greatest warrior so in this chapter, I made it so that Mara had the upper hand in terms of special techniques and energy, while Ranma had the upper hand in martial arts skills, physical strength, and speed.

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The next chapter for this story is actually one of my personal favorites because of how Ranma meets the protagonists. I'll try to make it funny, but no bets because my sense of humor seems to suck on paper. As a sneak peek, here's the title of chapter 2.

"The Gender Card?"

Here's a hint to what series I've crossed it with, this anime/manga is a very popular CLAMP series.