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Inner Feelings And Thoughts Exposed

By waterrain

England made a potion that would bring out inner emotions and expose ones deepest feelings/secrets. He had been upset with America for being insensitive, decided to make the potion, and then decided against giving that potion to America for he couldn't bring himself to do such a thing to America. However England's fairy's decided to have the blue eyed Nation drink the potion and they had brought America to the green eyed Nation.

"America, What is wrong?" England asked in a worried tone for those blue eyes were filled to the brim with tears and he thought maybe it might be a trick or something of that sort.

"I'm fat, stupid, and annoying. I think everyone hates me and thinks I'm a villain. I can't do anything right no matter how hard I try to do the right thing." America said suddenly and tears rolled down his flushed cheeks. "You hate me for leaving you and becoming independent, but I didn't want my heart to be broken over and over again each time you left me to go back to Europe."

England was speechless, his green eyes wide in shock, and he couldn't speak. America hiccupped and had his arms around himself.

"I think the world would be better without me and no one would be able to blame me for everything that goes wrong in the world. I'm tired of it. I hate myself at times for being selfish. I grew up too fast and I'm childish." America managed to say, tears spilling faster from his eyes, and he hiccupped. "No one calls me. I always end up calling, visiting, and stuff. It's okay since at least they answer when I call and I'm afraid of rejection."

England could only stare helpless as tears fell down America's flushed cheeks and he heard the blue eyed Nation hiccup.

"No one wants me. Everyone thinks I'm stupid, useless, childish, and fat." America said in between sobs and he clung to himself tighter. "I got to love myself for no one else loves me. I feel so lonely at times like what I felt like when I was a colony when you were gone. I eat too much, play too many video games, and watch too many movies."

England had no idea what to say or do and he decided to nothing. America's body was shaking, he hiccupped, and tried to speak.

"I try not to let anyone know how depressed and lonely I feel at times or how my heart aches from time to time when thinking about the past. They might take advantage or they might laugh or they might not even care." America said softly and his blue eyes were closed. "I'm better off with no one knowing my real thoughts , feelings, and emotions. I just laugh and say that I'm a Hero. Pretend that nothing could ever hurt me and that nothing matters at all, but it is a lie."

"America-" England started to say, but he stopped and noticed the blue eyed Nation was smiling sadly.

"Don't try to comfort me. Nothing you say or do will change anything. No one really likes me and I get blamed for everything that goes wrong. Whether from doing something to help or doing nothing. Damned if I do and damned if I don't. You know I'm telling the truth." America told him and he looked up at the ceiling. "I feel like giving up, but I can't for my people need me and stuff."

England looked at him and he noticed that America's tears have stopped, but those blue eyes were puffy and cheeks tear stained along with noticing the glasses had fallen.

"You can walk away and leave me like you always did when I was a colony. I grew up too fast, I wanted to grow up quickly, and I wanted to be able to follow you. I was foolish and didn't think you would hate me. " America commented as he stood up and leaned against the wall. "I broke your heart once and you hate me along with bringing up how I left you when you are drunk. You broke my heart several times, but yet I still love you."

England tried to speak, but he couldn't find the words and America closed his eyes.

"I can't express myself properly with words, but maybe it is because I grew up so fast and quickly." America said softly and he wiped his cheeks. "I'm selfish for wanting you to love me even though I broke your heart when I left you that one time. My heart hurts so badly, England."

America fell forward and England rushed forward, but the green eyed Nation didn't make it.

"I feel tired and old. I want to give up, but a hero doesn't give up and my people need me. I'm not so selfish that I would leave them." America muttered before his eyes closed and he fell asleep. England pulled the blue eyed Nation up and wrapped his arms around America's hips.

"I'm sorry for hurting you so badly, America." England whispered softly and silent tears fell from his green eyes. "Bloody hell I never knew that I broke your heart several times. I have always seen you smiling brightly, laughing, and looking so cheerful."

England kissed America on the lips briefly and held the sleeping blue eyes Nation tighter for a moment.

"I can't bring myself to tell you how I feel about you." England said quietly and he placed a hand on America's right cheek feeling it was still a bit damp. "I'm too prideful to tell you that I love you, America. I was a bit afraid of being rejected by you, but all that is left is my pride. Curses to my pride for it refuses to let me be the first to say those four words to you."

'I wonder if you will tell me..I love you, England..When you are not under the influence of a potion that causes one to revealinner emotions and expose ones deepest feelings/secrets.' England briefly thought and he released America. 'Best to have the fairy's bring you back home.'

England gracefully stood up, he noticed that America curled himself into a ball, and the green eyed Nation closed his eyes before walking away. The fairy's brought America home and the blue eyed Nation woke up.

"My eyes hurt a lot and I must have been crying in my sleep again." America said tiredly and he placed a hand over his heart. "My heart hurts a lot more than usual and feels like England walked away from me again."

The blue eyed Nation walked to the bathroom, washed his face, and practiced his smile in front of the mirror.

"A smile makes others wonder why you are happy. They wouldn't think you might be feeling sad for there is a smile on your lips." America commented to himself and he smiled brightly into the mirror. He didn't think about the World Meeting tomorrow or how England will be there. The blue eyed Nation has no plans to ever tell England that he loves him or anything for America figures it would only end in more heartache.

'I'm afraid of rejection. England would laugh at me for he would think I'm joking and I would play along so that he wouldn't know I was telling the truth.' America mentally thought and he brushed his teeth. 'I doubt that England returns my feelings and I don't want him to hate me more than he does already.'

America didn't know that England was waiting for him to say 'I love you, England' before saying 'I love you, America' to the blue eyed Nation.

'I'm full of pride and I'm selfish.' England briefly thought as he watched America speaking at the World Meeting. 'I want you to say the words before me even though I broke your heart several times. I'm positive that no one will say I Love You, America. I'm not worried for I doubt anyone would-'

"I love you, America." Russia said suddenly and he was smiling innocently. "You are full of youth, da. You are younger than me. Want to become one with me?"

"I won't become one with you, Russia. I can tell you are lying and just want to gain more power. Seriously, It is low of you to say I Love You to me. I'm not falling for your lies, Russia." America commented calmly and he rolled his blue eyes. "Anyway, A hero such as myself won't ever become one with a villain."

England released a sigh of relief and he placed his hands over his green eyes. Russia sighed softly and he closed his violet eyes.

"England, It is your turn to talk." America said cheerfully and he grinned widely at England. "Hopefully you won't bore everyone and cause them to die from boredom. I'm a hero and no one would ever die from boredom when I'm talking."

England sighed deeply, stood up, and cleared his throat. Russia stared at America and ignored the mouthing of 'Stop staring at me' from the blue eyed Nation.

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