Well, here we are again

She wishes she could say she's surprised with the sudden turn of events. She's not. Well, Kensi Blye is not someone who is easily surprised so that is not much of a shock. However, seeing this man standing in front of her should not be something she takes lightly.

Marty Deeks…that's a name she hasn't heard for a while. She sees him on the gym, pretending to be Jason Wyler. She prays he won't blow her cover but the truth is that she knows him a little bit better than that. He would never say a word about it just like he knows she would never say a word about his cover.

I guess it must be fate

She doesn't believe in fate but sometimes there are things she can't explain with her logic, no matter how hard she tries. This is one of those things. She plays the game. She calls him Jason and pretends not to notice the way his eyes run through her body. He pretends to be suspicious but she sees the small glint in his eyes, the one she knows so well.

Later on, when she's with Callen on their victim's house and he walks in they both play along. She knows Callen is not very far and he must know she's not there alone. They go way back and Kensi doesn't want to reveal that to any of her teammates, at least not for now. When she tells him about the pictures she sees the way his eyes darken and feels the familiar heat rushing through her, the one only he is capable of spreading, but doesn't let it show.

We've tried it on our own

When Callen knocks on the door their moment is over and she walks away from him. She can't help but smile to herself at the familiarity of this image. God, she has walked away from him so many times before. He's not exactly the one to blame for that. They're not easy to handle on their own but together they are a powerful mix.

But deep inside we've known

A part of her knew this would eventually happen. Deeks can handle her better than anyone else, even though he doesn't always understand her weird mood and her outbursts. She likes to think she is capable of handling him too, even when he's not feeling quite like himself.

We'd be back to set things straight

She has always known this day would eventually come. There are too many things left unsaid and many things left unexplained. He knows everything there is to know about her but for some reason she just can't commit. He accepts that fact and lets her walk away from him many times through the years. Now, Kensi has the feeling she won't get away without an explanation.

I still remember when
Your kiss was so brand new

Kensi often remembers what it used to be like with him. Those are the thoughts that make her feel less alone after a long day. The way he used to kiss her will be forever engraved in her memory. He's not someone who does sweet thoughtful things often but when he kissed her, he poured all his emotions into that simple gesture. That's probably what scared her so much.

Every memory repeats

He looks at her when they find out he belongs to LAPD. She tells him not to say a word that would give them away in front of Callen and Sam through her eyes. He understands and gives her a nod that no one sees but her. This situation sounds strangely familiar to them. Maybe it's because they've done this before.

They've pretended not to know each other many times before, so many that she has lost count already. Back when she was working in New York he was someone who showed up in the middle of their cases often and they learned to hide it. It was better to keep it a secret from the ones they worked with.

Every step I take retreats

It seems like every single time she thinks she's close to forget him he has a way to know it and shows up. That's why it doesn't surprise her when she sees him on the gym. And that's also why it doesn't surprise her when Hetty brings him back to their team as liaison officer. Kensi wonders if maybe her boss knows what she's doing but figures it doesn't matter that much.

He doesn't say a word to her when they see each other for the first time at work and she treats him like she would treat any other new guy. She even pretends she doesn't like him because it's a lot easier to do that than to tell the truth.

Every journey always brings me back to you

It seems like there's no getting away from Deeks. For once, she's not sure if that's a bad thing. For once, her life is stable enough to accept this. It doesn't bother her the way he looks at her, even in front of other people. He sees right through her, just like he's always had. When he calls her Fern at the club no one understands the small private joke but them.

He used to call her that to piss her off. It's a joke about the first time they met. Ironically, she was undercover at the time and so was he. She was Fern and he was Matt. She hated the name and she told him so as soon as they found out they were both undercover for the same reason. Deeks just smirked and called her Fern, over and over again.

After all the stops and starts
we keep coming back to these two hearts

The truth is that no matter what they do, no matter what they say, no matter how many times they move around they always manage to run into each other. Kensi lost count of how many times she has been in this situation with him. She has lost count of how many times she has walked away from him and how many times she has walked right into him.

Two angels who've been rescued from the fall

They have a special way to deal with each other. He cracks jokes about little things she does but Kensi knows he does it to show her he's paying attention. It's something no one has ever done to her. He used to take care of her all the time, even though she was not the type of girl who needed that kind of things. She allowed him to do so because that's what they both secretly needed.

After all that we've been through
it all comes down to me and you

Kensi and Deeks have been through a lot. They know everything there is to know about each other. He knows about her hard past and about her huge commitment issues (that's the reason why he always allows her to walk away from him and why he welcomes her with open arms when she turns back to him). She knows about his troubled past and that he feels strangely over-protective when it comes to her. They come together time and time again and every time there's that comfort that only comes when they're together.

Callen came close to finding out about this weird thing (she has no idea of what to call it) but she managed to hide it, pretending she was just feeling bad because someone she loved left her. Callen asked questions and she came up with Jack. Well, it's not exactly a lie except for the fact that she was the one who left Deeks and not the other way around. She left him on Christmas morning but she said goodbye. He smiled and hugged her, letting her go.

I guess it's meant to be
Forever you and me

She doesn't use the word forever. He's not afraid to do it.

He told her one day that he would love her forever. She left the day after.

They met a few months after and she ended up having a moment of weakness and they fell into his bed together. A few weeks later he told her that he would forever wait for her. She left after a week.

They met again exactly one year after that day. He smiled at her and she ended up falling into his open warms and welcoming his kisses. Three months later he told her he would be forever happy if he could wake up with her next to him for the rest of his life. She left two days after that confession.

Now he's here and she has the feeling he's not going anywhere anytime soon. She doesn't use the word forever. It feels wrong and she knows better than anyone that forever doesn't last as long as one would like it to. He tells her he's going undercover and she feels fear creeping up inside of her. He smiles at her and tells her he'll be back. She trusts him. For the first time in her life, she trusts someone else's word blindly and waits for him.

After all
When love is truly right
It lives from year to year

When he comes back from his undercover assignment for LAPD she welcomes him back. Deeks is surprised but doesn't show it in front of the rest of the team. Instead, he manages to find out her address and shows up at her doorstep late at night. One smile is all it takes for her to lower all her defenses. She pulls him in and kisses him with all she has in her. He kisses her back, just like she knew he would, and closes the door with his foot. She guides him to her bedroom and falls onto her bed.

He takes her shirt off and whispers that she's beautiful. She pulls him to her lips again and kisses him like she's been dreaming about doing ever since she saw him in that gym. The morning after she wakes up with his arms wrapped around her naked body.

He looks at her with a smile on his face and tells her he hasn't been with anyone else ever since this whole thing between them started, years ago. She smiles at him and hides her head in his chest after she admits she hasn't been with anyone else either. She's not embarrassed with the fact but with the admission of it. He just smiles wider and pulls her in for another heated kiss.

It changes as it goes
And on the way it grows
But it never disappears

Everything's different this time, though. Maybe it's because she is tired of running away from something it's obviously meant to be or maybe it's because she trust him more now that what she has ever had. Maybe it's even a combination of both. There's something about the way he looks at her that makes her feel like the most beautiful girl in the world, makes her feel like there's no one else in the room but her. Whatever this is between them, it only grows with time. It doesn't scare her to admit that anymore, for some unknown reason.

Somehow, she knows it's not just because they are both older and more mature. She reasons that they have seen and survived through too much and they need something stable and simple to come home to. That's what this is. Their relationship is far from simple but the feeling she has when she knows he's home waiting for her it's simple. It makes her feel carefree and loved. The way he holds her in his arms makes her feel safe. This is something she has never had before with anyone else but him.

This time when he tells her he will love her forever, she doesn't freak out. She tells him she loves him too and stays with him.

This time when he tells her he will forever wait until she's ready to be with him, she tells him he doesn't have to wait because she's more than ready.

This time when he tells her that he would be forever happy if he could wake up with her by his side for the rest of his life, she smiles and cuddles closer to him. He kisses her and lets out a sigh of relief. Somehow, they know this time is for real.

Always just beyond my touch
You know I needed you so much

They know just how much they mean to each other and maybe that's why they are so great together. She knows he's always there for her whenever she needs him, even when she's not fully aware of that fact yet. He seems to understand her in a way no one else can. He knows exactly what to do to make things right when she's not feeling alright. All it takes is one touch. It scares her at first but she learns to trust this, trust him.

It's something new to her and Kensi tells him that much, but he just smiles and tells her he's a good teacher and she is a fast learner. They don't know what time will bring but they're together now and for the first time ever, she feels confident with this relationship (yes, because now they know exactly what this is). They love each other and they have what it takes to make it work.

That's all that really matters.

After all, what else is living for?

X

X

Okay, so I'm not really one who is used to write anything based on songs but I came across a request from Lady Sarlon of Nashu and I decided to give it a try.

I'm not sure if this is what she had in mind but it was the first thing I came up with. Her request was a story featuring Kensi and Deeks based on the song "After All" by Cher and Peter Cetera.

Let me know what you think about it

Sarah