A/N: Enjoy this one! Fluff, as usual. Just pure fluff. Lily/James, implied Lily/Snape. Eeeeeither way, enjoy and review!

The Three Times James Tried To Ask Lily Out

(And The One Time It Worked)

o n e.

'Potter, stop jiggling my elbow,' Lily said irritably, turning a page of her Potions book. The Gryffindor table was always so crowded. Sure, it was great they had so many over Slytherin and the such, but Lily couldn't help but wonder sometimes why so many people had to be brave and good-hearted (for the life of her, she couldn't see why James Potter was in Gryffindor).

'I wouldn't jiggle your elbow if you weren't reading at the table,' he mumbled in reply. Remus nudged him, and Sirius Black burst out laughing for seemingly no reason. James went bright red.

Lily rolled her eyes. Wizards. They were so hard to understand, and useless, at that.

'Alice, I'm kicking it in,' Lily said to her best friend, Alice Fortescue. 'We have a Muggle studies test tomorrow, don't we?'

Alice frowned. 'Crap. I forgot about that.' She grabbed her book bag and stood up. 'Coming, Evans?'

'Do I have a choice?' Lily joked feebly, pushing her chair back into the table.

'Hey, wait!' Lily turned around.

'What is it, Potter?'

Sirius pushed him to his feet, provoking a dark look from James.

'Um …' He cleared his throat. 'There's the, er, Yule ball this week, isn't there?'

Lily smiled, suddenly remembering something she had intended to do. 'Oh, that's right! It is. I have to go pick an outfit. Bye!' She walked off towards the stairs with Alice.

Once they were out of earshot, Sirius thumped James on the back. 'Good going, mate.'

'Shut up,' James moaned, dropping back into his seat. 'I made a fool out of myself, didn't I?'

'A bloody big one, at that.'

'Sirius! Shut up!'

[POPCORN BREAK]

'Come on, James!' Remus insisted. 'You have nothing to lose!'

'Moony's right!' Sirius added enthusiastically. 'You walk in there – with your swagger, mind – and you'll be all, 'Lily, care to dance?' And she'll be swooning in no time. Am I right?'

Peter smacked the back of his head. 'Sirius, you're not helping,' he squeaked; then to James, 'I'm sure you'll do fine, but you can't if you stay here all night. Go!' He shoved James lightly into the room where they were holding the Yule Ball.

Gulp. James straightened his dress robes and scanned the room quickly for Lily's dark red hair. He didn't have trouble finding it. He walked up to her, reminding himself to breathe evenly.

'Er … hi, Evans.' He cursed himself internally. Call her Lily, you moron!

She turned around, startled. She looked stunning in a pale coral dress. 'Hello, James,' she said distractedly.

'So … brilliant punch, right?'

She shrugged. 'Haven't had any yet,' she said. 'Severus is bringing some over.'

'Well, that's ni – wait, what? Snape?

She frowned. 'He has a name, Potter.'

'That wasn't my point!'

'Well, what was?'

'I –' James was cut off by Severus Snape brushing past him and handing Lily a bronze goblet of bright blue punch. James couldn't help thinking he looked absolutely sleazy. For the love of Merlin, would it kill him to shower for once?

'Hello, Potter.' He smiled thinly, a hint of gloating in his tone.

Lily put down her goblet. 'You're right, Potter, it really is good punch.'

He gave a feeble smile. 'Well … yeah. That's me. Good taste guy.'

She opened her mouth to reply, but Severus touched her arm. 'Lily, care to dance?' he asked softly. No, no, no! James thought. That's my line!

She nodded and let Severus lead her away, waggling her fingers at James in a goodbye. Trying to seem unnoticed, he made his way out of the room and to his friends.

Sirius looked disgusted. 'What was that, you bugger!' he exclaimed as soon as James could hear him. ' "So … brilliant punch, right?" Honestly, you are rubbish. Let old Snivellus top you!'

James elbowed Sirius. 'You're a jerk.'

'At least I'm not chick repellent!'

'Shut up, Black!'

t w o.

'Picnics are foolproof,' he told himself for the millionth time as he sat in the courtyard, staring helplessly at Lily doing Transfigurations. It was pretty funny to watch her stomp her foot in frustration every time her pencil still had legs.

No they aren't, piped up an annoying little voice in his head. Anything could go wrong. One of you could fall in the lake! The squid would eat you! And someone might catch you skiving off! Or ole Dumbledore might stumble across you two when you're –

That's enough, he told himself firmly.

'I'm doing it,' he said aloud in no one to particular and heaved himself to his feet. He rocked on his heels for a few minutes, then finally got the guts to walk over and tap Lily on the shoulder.

'Dammit, Potter, not now!' she said in a flustered voice, not even turning around and waving her wand uselessly at the spider.

'How –'

'You're the only one here. Common sense.'

He looked around. Oh right, I am, he realized.

'But –'

'Shh!' She waved her hand at him, knocking his glasses off his face.

She exhaled. 'God. Sorry, Potter. I can't get this stupid son of a spider to Transfigurate.'

'Here, let me,' he said, taking the wand from her and flourishing it expertly. The spider popped into an HB #2 pencil, freshly sharpened.

'Phew, thanks.' She picked up the pencil and shoved it into her pocket. 'What are you doing here, anyways?'

'Um … I wanted to ask you something, actually.'

'Fire ahead.' She began to walk back across the courtyard, motioning for him to follow, which he did.

'Well … I'm going on a picnic – kind of – by the lake and I was wondering … would you like to join in?'

'Oh, sure! That'd be a great idea!' She lightened up.

'Oh – really?' he stuttered. In your face, Padfoot, he thought.

'Of course! So, at 6, after dinner?'

'That – that'd be perfect.'

'Excellent! I'll go tell Alice and Molly and Ashley and Sophie and Amanda and Andrea, shall I?'

'Wait –'

'You're right. I forgot Angie and Pamela and Diana and Minnie!'

'Hold on –'

'And Kylie, right?'

'Wait a second, Lily. Are you really going to invite Kylie?' he said, naming the only person he remembered.

'Oh, you're right. She's a drag. Well, bye, James!' She smiled and began to walk away.

'Oh, and be sure to get some people yourself!' she called over his shoulder.

James sighed. How did this go wrong again?

t h r e e.

Honestly, she was just trying to study. She, Alice and Molly Prewett were cramming for History of Magic, which the most rubbish subject ever.

'Pop quiz,' Molly announced, snatching Lily's book away. 'Who is … er … Finnegan Ficklehorn?'

'How the hell should I know?' Lily exclaimed, grabbing her book back. 'I swear, I'll fail my exams this year.'

'Don't be modest,' Alice snorted, turning a page. 'You're the swot of sixth year!'

Lily bonked her on the head with her book. 'Alice!'

'I was joking. I meant, you're the swot of the school,' Alice laughed delightedly.

'Alice, I hate you!'

'But you are a swot,' protested a new voice, dropping into the seat beside her.

'Gah! James, don't do that! You're worse than Filch!'

'Oh, I'm hurt.' He clutched at his heart dramatically and Lily rolled her eyes. Why did he always have to be such a clown?

'Here. Do you know anything about this?' Lily slid the book toward him. He inspected it for one second and slammed it shut. 'Stop studying for two minutes, Evans,' he scoffed. 'Socialize, for god's sake.'

'I do. I just care about whether I fail or not, unlike you.'

'Then you'll talk to me for a moment?' James asked, throwing Molly a look from over Lily's head. She caught his eye and nodded. Standing up, she said, 'Come on, Alice. Give them a minute. I need to … check out a book anyway.'

'Do it yourself! I want to study!' Alice muttered, eyes skimming the page feverishly.

'Alice. You're coming with me.'

'I'm jolly well not, Molly Prewett.'

'You jolly well are, Alice Fortescue!'

An argument along those lines continued until both Lily and James were rubbing their temples.

'I guess I'll talk to you later?' James asked deflatedly.

'When I'm away from these two freaks,' Lily grumbled, jerking her thumb toward her bickering friends.

'Right then. Bye.' He stood up and kind of slumped away.

Lily didn't realize she was watching him go until Alice snapped her fingers in front of her face. 'Hello!' she said impatiently. 'Earth to Lily. We're studying, remember?'

'Alice, you fool!' Molly hissed, smacking the back of Alice's neck.

'Hey! What was that for?'

'That was for being a total inconsiderate jerk,' Molly fumed, 'and not letting James have a damn moment to ask Lily out! Oh, you're thick. God help Frank Longbottom if he thinks he'll be getting you to date him any time soon.'

'Hold the phone.' Lily raised her hands. 'James wasn't going to ask me out, Molly. You're the thick one!'

'You're joking, right?' Molly scolded. 'He's completely head over heels, Lily. Don't you see how he looks at you when nobody's looking – well, when he thinks nobody's looking anyway. And why do you think he bugs you so much? And hates Severus? Because he fancies you, like a little schoolboy!'

'Ugh, Molly! Honestly!'

'Okay, Lily, even I can see it, and that's saying a lot,' Alice admitted. 'You are totally blind. Potter likes you. Always has, always w –'

'All right, I get it!' A scarlet blush crept up Lily's neck. 'You two are nasty.'

'Why don't you like James?' Molly pouted.

'Well, maybe I would, if he wasn't such an arse all the time,' Lily grumbled.

'No. I mean, why don't you like him?' Molly asked, waggling her eyebrows.

'Oh, but she does,' Alice said casually, closing her textbook.

'Duh, Alice. I was messing with her,' Molly snorted. Alice held her hand out for a high-five.

'Oh, you two are impossible. No, I don't like' – here she did a poor impersonation of Molly's voice – 'James. I mean … he's too stuck up. And he's so stupid. He's always clowning around, even though sometimes it's kind of funny. And geez, he's always so unorganized! His hair is all' – she made a vague hand gesture – 'and his eyes are always glinting evilly and he has the most retarded friends … well, only Sirius, really, the rest are quite nice to me. So is he, actually, sometimes. Most of the time, really, and he's always so sweet when he is. But hey, Severus doesn't like him … wait, Severus doesn't have anything to do with this. Okay, Severus doesn't like him, but maybe I do. Take that, Sev! So, I don't like him. See?'

Alice was doubling over laughing. Molly stared at Lily with a blank expression. 'I'm sorry, Lily, can you hear yourself?' she demanded.

'Alice, shut up.'

'But – but –' Alice howled with laughter, mimicking Lily's voice: 'Severus doesn't like him, but maybe I do. So I don't like him. Lily, you idiot.'

'Oh, stop it.' Lily slipped her textbook into her messenger bag, letting her curtain of red hair fall forward to hide her crimson cheeks.

'How many times has he tried this before?' Molly insisted, walking to Lily's right while Alice stumbled behind.

'Well …' Lily thought about it. 'Two? Maybe? I can't tell if he was trying to ask me out – which he wasn't, I mean.'

'TWO?' Molly shrieked, before Alice clamped a hand over her mouth. Molly bit it, and ignoring Alice's complaints, continued in a lower but still urgent tone, 'Lily, you must be mad. He's asked three times now. Three.' She waved three fingers under Lily's nose, like this would help her grasp the full meaning of the number that comes after two. 'He won't try it again, Lily. You have to catch him and make him ask!'

'But when?' Lily asked frantically, speeding up as she walked out of the library.

'Now!'

'Now?'

'Now! Before it's too late!'

Molly's tone was so pressing that Lily broke out into a run straight away.

o n e.

She knew James would go outside. He was never an indoors person. Bursting out into the courtyard, panting heavily, she saw him walking to the direction of the lake.

'Potter! Wait up!' She scurried up and put her hand on his arm.

'What? What is it?' he said, obviously startled at Lily's breathlessness.

'What – did – you wanna – ask?' she huffed, clutching a stitch in her side.

James blinked. 'Geez, Lily, it wasn't that important.'

She socked him one. 'Yes it was. Go ahead! I didn't sprint all the way from the library for you to not tell me what you were going to tell me.'

'All right, all right. Don't throw a fit.' He cleared his throat. 'Um. Lily, do you want to – sometime, I mean … what I mean to say is, sometimes Hogsmeade's a bit boring and –'

'Yes,' she smiled. 'Here, tell me when you get a free day.'

'O-okay.' Score, Potter, he was thinking.

'It's a date, then,' she declared. Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed his cheek and walked off, nearly bouncing with excitement.

James stood in place, blinking rapidly. Sirius walked up from behind him and slapped his back.

'Sand in your eye, mate?'

'Er – no.'

Sirius smirked. 'Right, then. And when you recover from your serene love for Lily Evans –'

'Sirius!'

'Come back to the dorm,' he continued. 'We're throwing a James-ain't-a-bachelor-no-more party. That all right?'

'That's absolutely not all r–'

'Perfect. See you, mate.' He walked off, whistling a merry tune.

James walked back into the building. He was so not going to the dorm that night.

A/N: Okay ... sorry that sucked a little. :D Did I capture the Britishness properly (I'm not actually British or American, come to think of it), so, tell me how I did in a review? I am doing a sad face. You cannot resist the sad face. So throw me a bone?