Okay, this random one shot is what would have been chapter three of expect the unexpected, had not refused to allow me to upload anything earlier this week. I have now decided chapter three needs a different turn, maybe less angst for now. So begins a one shot cannon of stories that will remain one shots!

Out of the frying pan, into the burning VOLCANO!

It was crazy, she knew, but as February 14th got closer on the calendar, she could have sworn the lingerie in the closet was trying to talk to her. Although that could have just been Renge putting thoughts in her head again.

Renge had been over every day of the last week to help Haruhi 'prepare' Kyoya's valentines' chocolates. There was still five days left until (as Haruhi had 'playfully' named it) doomsday. "Renge, for the last time, Kyoya-senpai doesn't even like sweets." Not to mention he wouldn't get her anything in return for white day, and then she'd be continuing to feel like the biggest fool ever, trying to push a fake relationship.

"I just can't deal with that..." She whispered, closing the cook book in front of her. "Huh, what do you mean Haruhi?" Renge's voice surprised her slightly, she hadn't realized she'd said it out loud.

"No, it's nothing. I need to do some laundry tonight. Would you mind coming over on the weekend? I have a test to study for tomorrow." The brunette tried her best to politely steer the blond out of the apartment for the evening, only to have her plans thwarted as Ranka came home.

Kyoya stared at his father over the dinner table, his eye twitching slightly. "You want me to go to paris? What about school?" His father rarely ever sent him on trips concerning the family business, and even less so during school time.

"Yes. Both your brothers, and myself, are unable to attend. I would not think you'd be so displeased at a chance to prove yourself." The snide words immediately silenced the youngest son. He was always eager to prove himself before, even with his secret plan in action, so he would have to just suck it up and miss Valentines' day. He'd kind of been hoping that he would get something from Haruhi.

"Yes father, sorry for questioning you." Perhaps he could take advantage of his time in Paris to find a suitable gift for white day, since he had not given her anything for christmas.

February 14th

Haruhi was being pulled through the school by Renge, one last box of chocolates sitting in her bag. She didn't bother to mention to Renge (not that the blond would listen) that Kyoya hadn't been in school since the day before.

"Why can't we find him?" The eccentric girl finally slowed to a stop as they reached Kyoya's locker, which was nearly blocked from sight by chocolates. "How could all those girls get him chocolates! You're his girlfriend, you're the only one allowed to give him any!" The blond exclaimed, quite loudly, in the hall at the sight.

Several dozen students, two teachers, and the super intendent, happened to be in the hall as well. All the talking and noises stopped at once and Renge immediately realized what she had just done. "I-I mean...shoot!"

The two were dragged away to the super attendant's office before anymore commotion could be made.

Haruhi growled as she tugged on the uncomfortable waistline of the yellow dress uniform. "But super attendant, why do I have to wear this now. You knew I was a girl when I was given the scholarship and until today you had no problem with me wearing the boys uniform."

Suou sighed as he leaned over his desk, "Unfortunately, now that everyone knows, and believe me they will all know by morning, you're a girl you must dress like a girl. I'm going to have to ask you to resign from the host club as well." She felt the walls close in on her as she clung to Renge's arm. She still owed the club a lot of money, although she found that wasn't why she was afraid. She'd never get to hang out with the boys now; they all had such busy schedules already.

"But, what if we got a chaperone? Or other girls joined the club? What about Renge?"

"Renge isn't an official member, she just spends a large amount of time there. You are free to do so as well, if you wish." His words made her feel cold all over as she and Renge were dismissed from the room.

Hikaru and Kaoru were waiting by her locker when she got there to retrieve her books, both looking rather irate.

"What the HELL Haruhi! You're dating Kyoya!" Hikaru shouted, making her wince at his hurt tone. "Even worse, now you're being kicked out of the club?" Kaoru's voice was much softer, but she knew he was probably twice as angry.

"You guys, can we discuss this later? It's been an aweful day, and I want to go home." She pushed past them and opened her locker, only to have an avalance of paper flow out on to the floor. For a moment she thought they were fan letters, until she noticed the lack of hearts adorning them. "Ah. Hate mail." She whispered, bending down to pick up all the slips of paper and put them in her bag.

"If you're not going to care enough to explain, we don't wanna hear it. Let's go Kaoru." Hikaru sneered, dragging his twin away from her. She hadn't expected them to be so mad at her, and she suspected they wouldn't have been if Renge hadn't announced her and Kyoya as a couple. But she would have to worry about that later.

She stuffed her books into her bag ontop of the large pile of hate mail, she would have to write a general response to the people that wrote them.

Kyoya ignored his phone as it rang for the fifteenth time in as many minutes. It was almost midnight in Paris, and he desperately wanted to get some sleep, there was an important meeting tomorrow morning and then he would be flying home. He wanted to be well rested when he gave Haruhi her present.

The members of the host club stood starring at the door to the third music room, which had two pieces of paper tapped to it. The piece on the left was addressed to them from Haruhi, explaining that she was sorry for the trouble they would be given over the matter, and cleared up that she had not been dating Kyoya. She told them about how Renge had jumped to the conclusion, and asked them not to say anything about it to the blond girl.

The second note was addressed to her customers, apologizing for any hurt feelings, while gently pointing out that they had all assumed she was a boy from the very begining, without ever bothering to ask.

"Oh." Hikaru gasped, leaning back onto Kaoru's shoulder as it all sunk in. He felt extremely guilty about yelling at the brunette the night before and ignoring her the whole day. He would now need to wait until Monday to apologize; they all would.

Kyoya checked his watch as his plane landed and was sad to realize that he'd never catch Haruhi in the club room before she left. He hurried to his awaiting limo, and instructed Tachibana to take him to the Fujioka household before going home. He was going to give her his present today no matter what.

He climbed out of the limo and carefully pulled a small box out of his breif case. All he'd managed to come up with as a gift was some earings. She'd probably not get the chance to wear them for a long time.

He climbed the stairs and knocked on the door to her apartment, waiting for her to answer. She never did. He knocked louder and waited again until he heard a mumbled "Who is it?" "It's Kyoya."

The door opened quickly and her folded uniform was placed in his hands quickly. "I'm guessing you came for this. I'll continue to pay my debt by getting a part time job."

He took a moment to process what had been said and take in her appearance. She looked like a disaster, she obviously hadn't slept the night before and on top of that she seemed to be miserable. "Haruhi. What are you talking about?" He felt dread well up inside him as she sighed and made room for him to enter. She figured if he was going to kill her, she didn't want to scare her neighbours.

The sat at the komatsu in her dining room in silence for a moment, until Haruhi pulled out a large stack hate mail. "I'm sorry for the trouble being caused by this, but it is really your fault senpai. If you hadn't convinced Renge we were secretly dating, none of this would have happened." He raised an eyebrow at her, attempting to put the pieces together on his own, but he found he couldn't. Normally she was was so easy to read that it would almost seem he'd read her mind, but today her guard was up. And he wanted to know why.

"Renge had given me a recipe for some sugar free chocolates to make you for Valentines' day," She started cautiosly, also placing the box on the table. "Please accept them now as an apology." She said as she slid the box over to him.

"Haruhi, what happened while I was away?" His voice was demanding, anger bubbling up in his chest as she silently tried to think of a way to explain the situation delicately.

"To make a long story short, the whole school has found out I am female. And half of them believe me to have been secretly dating you for several months." She looked away from him, hurt by the anger on his face. She'd grown slightly more fond of him than any of the other members of the host club.

"The super attendant kicked me out of the host club, and there's a petition to kick me out of the school." She was sure he would curse at her, for being so foolish as to let this happen in the first place, but she was surprised when she felt him wrap his arms around her from across the table. "Haruhi, you know we won't let that happen." Was all he said, and his words made her relax. She'd been awaiting rage from him to match that of Hikaru, though she was happy to find support instead.

Ranka was surprised when he came home in the early hours of the morning to find Kyoya asleep on their spare futon, with Haruhi curled up against him. He knew that the two weren't actually dating as Renge thought they were, but he felt a jealous pang in his chest at knowing his daughter had sought comfort from the dark haired boy when she'd shunned his own attempts to comfort her.

"Kyoya you bastard-" "Tamaki shut up, would you?" The Ootori put a stop to Tamaki's rampage as he and Haruhi entered the club, which was in full swing. They'd spent the weekend working out a few ways to at least reduce any hate mail Haruhi would get.

"Haruhi's not allowed to be in here anymore." Hikaru stated upon noticing the fidgetting brunette behind the tall dark haired boy. He didn't mean for it come out bitter, but it did.

"I have come to clear up a few things, and I want Haruhi to be here so you can all apologize." He heard a few snorts from various guests of the club which he decided would cost each of them several points, and business deals in the future. He looked at Haruhi momentarily before smirking.

"Haruhi is my fiance. Originally," He held up his right hand to keep the room silent, "we were not actually dating, as Haruhi had special reasons to need to dress as a boy. However, I agree with the note she mentioned posting on the door. She never actually said she was a boy, at first, it was just assumed by everyone that she was." His smirk grew wider as he placed his arm around her waist, "Except myself." Of course he had to differentiate himself from the horde of people in the room. And his subtle message of "if you ever want to do business with the Ootori's again, you will treat her like you would me." was heard loud and clear.

Haruhi stood in front of her locker, trying to scrub nasty words written in permanent ink off the metal surface. If anything, Kyoya's interference had caused her even more problems. It was almost to the point she wanted to leave Ouran and switch to Lobelia, although that would be crazy because she couldn't study law there.

She grabbed her books as soon as the door was cleaned and left the school, looking forword to going home for the weekend and being alone; her father was off camping with some work buddies and she'd convinced all the boys to give her a break. "Finally." She thought as she made her way t the train station, her uniform billowing around her in the wind.

Obviously, the lack of a proper ending is what prevented this from being the actual third chapter!