A/N: I can write again *_* OMG. Anyway, thank LaLa for this. She said something about popsicles in the winter and, well, I finally found a secret for Zack.
Rating: T
Warnings: Language
...
...
Reverse Psychology
Zackary Fair bounced down the halls of Shin-Ra, grinning widely and sucking on a lime green popsicle. Now, Angeal was used to such displays- being the puppy's mentor would do that to a person. The General, he honestly didn't care. Genesis Rhapsodos and his best friend Cloud Strife...well, they weren't so used to it.
Yet.
"It's two degrees outside," Genesis hissed from behind, what used to be, a potted plant of some kind. The fur parka he had wrapped around himself just barely showed his scarf wrapped face. Needless to say, the commander didn't exactly enjoy the cold.
Cloud shrugged, tugging gently on the sleeves of his sweater. "Zack's weird," he said slowly.
"Weird is purposefully mismatching your socks. Weird is picking out all the blue fruit loops from your cereal to make a tower. Weird is Angeal making a teddy bear shaped birthday cake for Tseng of all people. Zackary Fair is beyond weird. He is absolutely bat shit," Genesis replied with a huff, crossing his arms and looking more like an annoyed bird than anything else.
Biting back a giggle, Cloud shrugged and tugged on Genesis' gloved hand. "Why don't we go ask him?"
"Are you insane?" Genesis hissed. "You know what happens when you ask the puppy questions."
At that, Cloud froze. Genesis...had a point.
The last time he'd asked about anything Cloud had ended up naked in a dinosaur pool on the roof and drinking hot chocolate...he really didn't want to experience that again. The General had been less than pleased when Lazard had emailed him the pictures.
Shaking his head, he ducked back behind the plant. "You're right."
"Of course I am. Now, let's ask Angeal."
...
"I have no idea."
"Angeal," the redhead whined. "He's your student. You have to know these things."
"I'm sorry, Genesis. I really don't know how his mind works."
The pair in front of Angeal's desk sighed in defeat and shuffled out of the office, closing the door softly behind them. That had been a complete waste of time.
"Let's just ask him, Gen."
"Ask who what?"
A shriek came from the blond and he launched himself at Genesis, smashing up against the puffy material of his parka and whipping around.
Reno arched an eyebrow at the pair, twirling his EMR lazily. "Yo, you alright?"
"R-Reno you-"
A hand clamped over his mouth and Genesis glared at the Turk. "What do you know about Fair and the popsicles."
"Eh?" Reno blinked at the two SOLDIERs in confusion.
"The popsicles," Genesis snapped, letting go of Cloud in favor of yanking on Reno's collar. "What. Do. You. Know."
"Watch the suit, yo! I don't even know what the hell you're babblin' about."
With a scathing look, Genesis let go of Reno and huffed, pushing him back. "Useless," he muttered. "Absolutely useless. Let's go Cloud."
Reno watched the two go, rubbing at his neck and trying to smooth his collar. Tseng was going to kill him. The man hated wrinkles. And all because those mako drenched crazies were just that.
Crazy as fuck.
...
Genesis smiled brightly at Cloud when the elevator doors closed and the blond let out all the laughter he'd been holding back.
"I love it when you do that," he choked.
The commander gave him a smug look and swooped down to place a kiss on Cloud's cheek, the parka's collar tickling him and sending him back into a fit of giggles. "They leave you alone if they think you're two crayons away from going into a blood thirsty rage."
Just then the elevator slowed to a stop and the doors slid open, admitting a smiling spiky haired First Class. "Cloudy! Gen-Gen! What's up?" Zack asked around the popsicle stick in his mouth.
"Why are you eating a popsicle?" Genesis demanded, yanking on the wooden stick. "It's bloody, fucking cold!"
The dark haired man giggled and reached over to ruffle Cloud's blond spikes. "It's a secret."
"You will tell me, Zackary or I will teach you the tango!" Genesis snapped, jabbing him in the chest. "Now, spit it out!"
Sighing dramatically, Zack shrugged, not at all worried about dancing lessons. He already knew the tango. So take that, Genesis! "It keeps me warm."
"..." The silence in the elevator was deafening.
Cloud and Genesis shared and equally confused look and then turned back to Zack. The redhead made some kind of strange hand gesture followed by small noises of confusion and disbelief coming from somewhere beneath the scarf before he poked Cloud's shoulder and the blond took over.
"What?"
Zack shrugged and pulled the popsicle stick out from between his teeth. "If I eat the popsicle then my tongue gets cold. And if your tongue had ice on it then it's really, really cold. Colder than the outside. Colder than snow. Colder than Mr. Frosty the ice king. So if my insides think it's cold then my outsides are just gonna chill and stop shivering. To summarize, I'm really just using reverse psychology through my taste-buds to combat cold weather conditions," he finished with a smile.
When the two finally came out of their shock, Zack was happily babbling about foot cream and needing to buy more noodles.
How those things were related...Cloud really didn't know...
However, he did know that Zack was smart. Really, really smart. In a scary, weirder than weird kind of fucked up way...
He was so glad Zack was on his side.
...
...
Zack is weird! But I really think he's brilliant and likes to put up an airheaded face for everyone else. Underestimation at it's finest!