Disclaimer: I do not own Grell Sutcliff, William T. Spears, or Kuroshitsuji. Those lovely things belong to Yana Toboso, and not me.

Umm. This is my first fanfiction. Reviews would be greatly appreciated, but don't flame me please. I already know that I'm not creative. This is why I prefer editing and I write as little as possible. Thank you and enjoy!

Behind the Mask

Grell Sutcliff had spent all of his life being flamboyant and flirtatious. But, behind his mask of confidence, Grell was a completely different person. No one knew that the red reaper was crying out for, not just attention, but for love. Of course, no one would get close enough to Grell to realize this. Grell didn't really care about "having anyone's babies," or participating in any "vigorous exercise" that he always spouted about when he was around attractive men. Sure, he might indulge himself in these silly games during the daytime, but when the time for sleep came every night, Grell Sutcliff was faced with the reality that he hated so much: he was alone.

The reaper didn't mind working. In fact, he enjoyed it. Working provided him with some company, a distraction for his overactive mind, and he could be with his boss and unrequited lover, William T. Spears. However, every evening, Grell would come home to an empty house and cook some kind of dinner for himself, with no one to share it with. There was no one to discuss the day's events with, no one to give back rubs to, no one to comfort him... no one to make love to... and most importantly, there was no one to snuggle up with at the end of the day when he really needed to be held. Grell would often hold on to a pillow and pretend that he had a husband at night, because that was the only way he knew how to get to sleep.

Some days weren't so bad, but others were horrible. On these days, Grell Sutcliff pondered what it would be like to end his life, and if it would be worthwhile. He also spent a lot of time wondering what William's private life was like. He found that he had more bad days lately, and he had been thinking about these things more than he usually would.

Does Will have trouble sleeping at night? the redhead mused to himself. Does going to bed alone bother him at all? What if... no! That couldn't be... Does Will already have someone to love and hold at night? Is he keeping it a secret~? No no, Grell, dearie. You mustn't get your pretty little self worked up about something you don't even know about. It just isn't good for a lady to be so worried... but then again, it isn't good for a lady to be all alone like this, either. If Will is taken, there really is no point in my existence. Grell continued to worry about William until he finally fell asleep from exhaustion, entirely wrapped up in his red satin sheets and snuggled up with his red fuzzy body pillow.

Throughout the next couple of weeks, Grell Sutcliff made on-and-off impulsive attempts at ending his life, but none of them seemed to work. Grell had spent some time researching non-violent ways to quickly end his misery, because despite the fact that he was a reaper of death, he couldn't imagine himself mutilating his body that he worked so hard to take care of. The shinigami eventually decided to buy different types of poisons, but instead of just killing him, they made him very sickly and pale, and only increased his suffering.

Grell continued to go to work through all of his misery, although the quality of his work was not too great and his coworkers gossiped amongst themselves about Grell's ghoulish appearance and lack of cheerfulness. When William T. Spears heard the news, he decided to check it out for himself.

"Grell Sutcliff, what has been going on with you lately? You've been too quiet lately, and you look almost as pale as that... demon... you're always going on about," William said as he pushed up his glasses with a look of disgust at the thought of the demon scum. "Honestly, if you're really sick, then perhaps it would be wise for you to rest until you are better suited for working."

The red reaper completely ignored Will's question. After all, there was something else on his mind that he had been worrying about, and he simply couldn't focus on anything else. "Will... do you go home to a lover at night?"

"Honestly, Sutcliff. Is that what's wrong with you? Are you so concerned about my love life that you've made yourself sick?" William sighed. He should have known that Grell's work performance was decreasing because he was too busy moping around about love or something foolish like that. Honestly. "Don't be ridiculous. As if I even have the time to worry about lovers, with all of this piled up overtime lately."

Grell smiled for the first time in weeks. He felt relieved. He thought he might have even caught a hint of worry or concern in William's tone. And was that jealousy he heard when his boss referred to "that demon"? Grell might not have anyone to love him, but at least he had something, or rather someone, to work with. He decided that right now was a good time to play up his "sickness."

"Oh, William~ I am really sick! I think that I might need a strong man to make me feel better, so I can work!" Grell got up from his desk, faked a cough, and pretended to nearly fall over. "Oh, Will~ I think you need to inject me with something pointy! That'll do the trick!" Grell started to fake some more coughs.

William rolled his eyes at Grell's double entendre. Just how stupid does Sutcliff think I am? For just once though... I don't think it would hurt to entertain a few of his ideas. I mean, as long it gets him to work, of course. "Grell Sutcliff, meet me in my office in about ten minutes. I will have to find some kind of way to make you well again. I can't have you slacking off," William quickly added to make his request sound more professional.

"Ahhn~ I can't wait, Will!" Grell smiled to himself as he sat down at his desk once more. He had a feeling that he wouldn't have much trouble getting to sleep tonight. He could dream of a future where he was married to his beloved William, cooking him food while wearing nothing but an apron, giving him back rubs and massages, making love to him... and most importantly, he could dream about having someone to hold him close at night. Yes, Grell Sutcliff would have plenty to dream about tonight.