A/N: Yet another Deannon from the kink meme. The request was for Dark Fae!Us and Light Fae!UK, bonus for use of magic, USUK, and smut.

I used faerie instead of fae because I already had to use human names instead of country names and I need my comfort from somewhere. This chapter is probably T max, but I put it at M so I didn't have to change it when I finish part 2, in which there is smut. As usual from me. Enjoy my ramblings, as the "good part" will probably be out sometime Sunday.

"Hey, Artie! Artie, Artie, Artie! Come on man, ya gotta talk ta me." The annoying heathen said as he chased after the other faerie.

"I must do no such thing." Arthur said, looking back over his shoulder.

"Come on, man. Throw me a bone. You're being a total asshole. I haven't done anything and you're still treating me like I personally killed your dog and fed him to you."

"Oh, I'm sure you've done worse."

"See? That's exactly what I'm talking about."

"Look, Alfred, I really do not have time for this right now."

"Why not? We're fae. We've got all the time in the world."

"Yes," Arthur thought, "But he doesn't."

The light faerie didn't bother speaking again, putting all of his energy into flying through the trees as quickly as possible. As a falcon, it was easier for him to cut through the foliage than the dark faerie who had taken the form of a ridiculously large eagle. It was just like the thick-headed twat to pick something that made him feel superior. It was probably necessary, considering that his true form was probably something slimy with a multitude of tentacles.

Within a matter of moments, Arthur reached the river. The five-year-old buy from the family he was taking care of at the time was bobbing in the water, desperately trying to breathe.

Arthur cursed under his breath. He had sensed that the boy was in danger, but he didn't think it was anything like this. Arthur could heal wounds in the blink of an eye; he could cure any illness; he could ward away any attacker; he could shield a person from any danger. But this? He had no power over the river. Light faeries were able to effect life, not reality.

What was he going to do? It wasn't like he could fly over and pull the boy out: he was too heavy, and Arthur didn't think that he could change into anything strong enough to normally be able to pull a struggling boy to shore that might under any circumstances do so. Sure, he had extra strength gifted to him by his species, but if he were to use it he would reveal himself.

The light faerie looked around for something, anything that he could use to save the child, but the trees were all too far away for one branch to be "just a little longer than the boy thought originally" and all of the nearby bushes were too fragile to keep him from being swept away in the current.

Arthur landed on a branch and stared at the scene below. He had to save the child somehow, but if the only way to do so would be to reveal himself he'd probably be killed by the court. He wondered which would be worse: knowing that he let the boy die, or knowing that he'd condemned himself and probably inadvertently killed who-knows-how-many.

Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it.

"Hey, Artie!" Of course now would be when the dark faerie who had been following him for the past few days managed to escape the woods. Now if even if he did manage to save the child, Alfred would probably try to eat it.

"What was the rush about?" The sod asked.

"Are you blind, you daft fool?" Arthur demanded.

"Oh, the kid? He's just swimming, isn't he?" If the git had a mouth instead of a beak, he'd surely be beaming.

"He's drowning, you idiot!"

Alfred cocked his head to the side, "What's that mean?"

Arthur looked at the other faerie, exasperated, "It means that if he doesn't get out of the water soon, he'll die."

With a sigh, the other faerie said, "Now, this is why I don't keep pets. They're a pain in the ass. They're always trying to run away, or accidentally killing themselves, or actually needing to eat-"

"He's not my pet!"

"Right. Don't worry; the hero will get your human companion from the mean old river."

"Alfred!" Arthur yelled. What on earth was he planning?

However, it was too late. The other faerie had already jumped from the tree, changing into his preferred form on the way down: a tall, well-muscled blond wearing a black tunic, almost ordinary if not for his inhuman beauty and the unnecessary but magnificent wings sprouting from his back. Conceited twit.

With a smirk, Alfred stood and looked at the boy, still struggling to get air into his lungs. Almost lazily, he lifted a hand. The boy' body floated out of the water. No, Arthur realized, was pushed out of the water.

That was right, dark fae had other powers: powers to manipulate the elements, to change matter as they pleased. Alfred was… he was saving one of Arthur's humans. Well, he still couldn't just stand there slack-jawed.

"Be gentile, idiot!"

Alfred grinned back, putting a finger to his lips. If he were to say anything in human form, the boy would understand him. Arthur made a note to tell future generations of the only time the dark faerie did anything even mildly intelligent.

The dark faerie turned back to the boy and held out his arms. The wind and the water pushed the human forwards. Alfred caught him easily.

"Hello there, cutie," he said, holding the boy with one hand and tickling his nose with the other.

The child, understandably, fainted.

"Look what you did, you moron," Arthur said, jumping down and resuming his preferred form as well, a much more normal-looking blond with typical clothing, "You made him pass out."

Alfred still just looked down at the boy with adoration in his eyes, "You sure picked an adorable little companion. I love playing with other people's humans. It's too bad he fell asleep, though. But I guess that almost dying could tucker a little guy out. They're so cute when they're little like this, though, especially when they're asleep." He looked up at Arthur, "Can I have him?"

"No! He doesn't even belong to me. He has a family: a mother a father, and two little sisters."

"Woah," Alfred said, eyes wide, "You can take care of five humans at once? I can't even keep one. Oh, you probably leave 'em free range, though, don't ya?"

"How many times do I have to say it: I. Don't. Own. Them."

Alfred sighed, "Figures I'd make friends with one of those crazy-kid-ladies. Even if you're not a lady."

Arthur glared back and grabbed the boy from the other faerie. "I have to be getting him home. If you're going to come with me, be nondescript."

Alfred lit up and his cowlick wagged like a dog's tail, "I get to play with more humans?"

"You can't play with them, but yes, you can see the rest of my family."

"Awesome!"

"Now pick something normal to change into. Try a dog or something," Arthur suggested, watching the still-twitching lock of hair.

"Okay, I think I can do a dog."

He closed his eyes, apparently trying to make his non-existent brain work. A moment later, he changed into a large, golden wolfhound.

"Woof, woof," Alfred said, smiling.

"Close enough." Arthur said. He began to walk back to the boy's house. Alfred followed him as though he really were a loyal hound.

"So how far away are the rest of your humans?"

"Not very. Walking like normal people, we should be there within ten minutes."

"Are they all as cute as him?"

Arthur thought for a moment about his girls: one barely three years old, one only a few months old. The father and mother were still in their late teens, the former looking somewhat like a puppy with hands too large for his wrists and the later with long curly hair and a sweet smile, "Yes, yes they are."

"Awesome!"

Another thought crossed Arthur's mind, "You're not planning to eat any of them, are you?"

He held his breath, waiting for the other faerie's answer. He didn't want to have to fight him. It wouldn't end well. Whenever two fae had an argument that got physical, there was always massive damage both to the physical world and to the civilian population. Alfred was certainly formidable, but Arthur was very good at what he did. His healing and shielding spells were some of the strongest in the City of Light, and he was able to summon a massive force of weaker fae to assist him easily. However, in the end, wouldn't Arthur still lose when his family's house was destroyed?

Thankfully, Alfred just shrugged and said "Nah. Humans taste gross and make me sick. I do like the milk and honey they leave out for us, though. Think I can get any of that?"

"We'll see," Arthur conceded, glad that he wasn't going to lose any of the people he was trying to protect.

They plodded along in relative silence, except for when Alfred would occasionally stop to sniff at something. Supposedly, this was to help "Get into character," but Arthur thought to himself that he would have done it anyway. Eventually, they approached the family's house. Arthur shifted the boy into one arm for a moment to knock on the door.

The mother opened it, and gasped when she saw her son dripping wet in the stranger's arms.

"What happened?" She asked.

"He got into the river somehow," Arthur said, "He almost drowned, but he's breathing. My dog here jumped in to get him and pulled him to shore."

"Did he?" The woman looked gratefully down at the 'animal,' reaching down to scratch behind his ear, "That's a very good boy."

"Don't say that too loud," Arthur said, smirking, "He's full of it as it is."

"He saved my son's life," She said, holding out her arms to take the boy back, "He can be full of it for a while. Is there anything that I can get for him, or you, mister...?"

"Arthur," Arthur said, "And although I appreciate the offer, my pet and I should be fine,"

"Bastard," Alfred said, "I'm hungry."

Arthur almost snapped at him to wait, but then images flashed through his mind of what a starving fae was capable of, and whished that he hadn't responded so quickly.

"At least let me give him something," The woman said, "Dogs always enjoy treats."

"Oh, alright," Arthur said, smiling, thanking the heavens that she had offered again.

She went back into the house for a few moments.

"Awesome!" Alfred said, "I get noms!"

"Belt up. You're just lucky that I didn't want to fight with a mother who almost lost her son."

"Yeah, yeah. Hey, wait a sec!"

Oh, that happiness in his eyes could not be good.

"Dude, I just realized. Since I saved your human companion, you totally owe me!"

"So?"

"That means I get one request."

"Do you?"

"I do," The dog nodded.

"Alright," Arthur said, "What is this request?"

"I want you to come home with me for a day."

"You what?"

"Hey, it won't be too bad. Everyone's super cool in the City of Darkness. We have awesome parties all the time, and you can meet my brother. He pretends his human is a person too, so you'll totally get along."

"Alfred, this is a bad idea," Arthur said, choosing to ignore his comment on humans.

"I swear that you'll be fine," Alfred said.

"Do you mean that as a true vow?" Arthur asked, kneeling to be at his level.

Alfred rolled his eyes, "Well, I said it, didn't I? As long as you come with me to the City of Darkness, I swear that no harm will come until after you finish your visit."

The two stared at each other for a few moments. The dog looked hopeful, sweet, even charming.

Arthur's love of all things cute would be the end of him someday.

"Alright," he said, still somewhat unsure.

As the woman came back and gave a strip of meat to Alfred, cooing at him while he was unbeknownst to her doing the same, Arthur prayed. He prayed that he wouldn't live to regret his choice.

Then he prayed that he would at least have the chance to.