Alternate ending to Manga chapter 172 "Onigumo's Heart". Story deviates after the first 10 pages of chapter 173 "Jealousy" Where is Kagome now? Will she ever have the courage to come back to Inuyasha? Does Inuyasha want her back? Reading the chapter first is recommended, even though there's a small recap. =)

You can read the chapter here:

http: / www. mangareader 226 - 16428 - 1 / inuyasha / chapter - 172. html

http: / www . mangareader 226 – 16429 -1 / inuyasha / chapter – 173. html

Just remove the spaces.

Also, there is absolutely no Kikyou/Kouga bashing. I don't hate their characters and have tried my best to give them the due respect deserved in my story. But, this is InuKag, so don't expect a perfectly happy ending for either of them.

Kouga doesn't turn up in this chapter, but he will soon!

Thank you for reading. Make my day by leaving a review.

Blanket Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, and claim no rights.

Choices

Chapter One:

Out of His Life

Inuyasha didn't know what to do, or what to think. Just moments ago, Kikyou had stumbled toward him, looking sicker than death itself. Mind numbing fear overtook him as he tried to figure out what was causing the graceful miko to gasp and go pale. Almost at once, he spotted a dark, giant Shini-Dama-Chuu sucking up all the dead souls in the area. Going into overdrive immediately, he hastened to destroy the giant Shini-Dama-Chuu that was taking away all the dead souls from Kikyou and heart-thudding, he watched as her strength slowly returned. He had truly been frightened. Scared of losing her a second time. Scared of failing her a second time.

But now, the woman was all energy again, talking about taking on and killing Naraku all by herself. Hah! Not if he had a say in it! It was unthinkable…sitting on his ass and having a fucking whale of a time with friends when Kikyou was out trying to defeat Naraku. All by herself. Like he had been, before she reached out to him.

He loved her! It was not the love glorified by poets round the world as the pure, comfortable, and infinitely powerful force that could overcome anything. For their love was tainted, by Naraku; it was not comfortable, tested time and again; and it definitely didn't seem infinitely powerful. He could feel their bond strain with each new complication that arose, twist with pain each time the cold burial soil and old bone that was now scent reached his sensitive nostrils. But, it was love all the same.

You protected the ones you loved, which was exactly why he was on the verge of having a heated argument, no, discussion, with her.

"I've already told you, Inuyasha. I am the only one who can purify Naraku and remove him completely from this world." Kikyou's voice was patient, quiet, firm, and full of grim determination.

"But…" Inuyasha's mind refused to take this in. He was supposed to protect her, damn it! "If you're attacked again like just now, who will protect you? I'm the only one who can, aren't I?" His voice rose in pitch, betraying some of his desperation, his utter denial of the situation.

A few paces away, behind a clump of trees, a heart was splintering… Kagome drew in a shaky breath. "Inuyasha…" She ached inside. Her mind was still reeling with memories of Inuyasha intimately embracing Kikyou, holding her to his heart... Like she was his one and only.

What was this strange feeling of cold creeping up on her? Was it dread? She had an ominous feeling and she felt Inuyasha slipping away from her.

As her body gave an involuntary shudder, she wrapped her arms around herself and watched the scene unfold in front of her with a morbid fascination…unable to tear her eyes away.

Quietly contemplating the agitated hanyou in front of her, Kikyou murmured, "Inuyasha, you're saying that from the heart, aren't you…"

"I can't take it any longer!" Burst Inuyasha. "I couldn't stand it even if that measly Naraku sees you or hears your voice! To say nothing of how I'd feel if I lost you again…" Inuyasha's face was contorted, his mind filled with images that made him want to scream in agony and frustration.

It did not really help when Kikyou assured him that Onigumo's feelings and desire for her acted as a shield. If anything, it inflamed him further.

When she made to get up and go, his heart raced.

"Inuyasha, when my dead souls were sucked out of me, I thought it was all over and that I would die alone. But you were there for me. I'm glad. Thank you."

"Kikyou!" he blurted. He darted forward, clasped the beautiful miko's hand, and once again, drew her to him. "If anything happens, call for me."

"Inuyasha…" Kikyou sighed. She placed her head on his chest and said earnestly, "It'll be okay, Inuyasha. I won't let any man other than you ever touch a hair on my head."

Wordlessly, Inuyasha tightened his hold on her for a heartbeat and let his tortured gaze follow her as she gracefully left the scene.

Kagome was rooted to the stop. Her heart was no longer just splintered. It was shattered. Completely. Was she dying? God thatwould be a relief. And why was blood pounding in her ears if her heart was broken? How could it shamelessly continue coursing life through her when all she wanted to do was curl up and die?

She felt sudden stabs of pain in her upper arms and realized that she was unconsciously digging her nails in her own skin so hard that in her horror and denial, she hadn't even noticed. "I bleed for you, Inuyasha…" She silently moaned as scarlet beads formed on her alabaster arms.

Her head was reeling, her knees were weak. Hands twitching and lips quivering, she struggled to come to her senses. It was one thing to sit in the camp, with Sango, Miroku, Shippou, Kirara, and sometimes Kaede-Baa-Chan around her and wonder about Inuyasha when he went to see Kikyou. They provided much-needed distractions. But it was a totally different ball game when the scene played out in front of your eyes. The love that flowed between Kikyou was sad, bitter because of the fact that they could never truly be together, but it was still palpable. This relationship seemed so different from the one she had with Inuyasha… she didn't ever think it could come to such a level. Such intimacy seemed like a wild castle in the air… way out of reach.

Inuyasha suddenly stiffened. Without Kikyou right in front of him, his senses took in the surroundings much better and he had just realized that Kagome was just behind him. Hoping against all odds and praying to all that was holy that his nose was wrong, he turned around.

Unfortunately, Kagome stood there, her face telling him all that he needed to know. She had witnessed everything.

He didn't think he had ever seen such an expression on anyone's face before. Was it possible to see a person breaking inside? He felt like a complete asshole but, frankly, there was nothing he could do. He wanted to go to her, hold her, and surround himself with her sweet and reassuring self. He wanted to feel warm inside when he heard her laugh in abandon. But, she was now a forbidden fruit. He had to make it a clean break, otherwise her grief-stricken face would haunt him forever.

He had committed himself to Kikyou. Being with Kagome was proving dangerous to this very commitment. It was best to keep things as uncomplicated. Unfortunately, this situation right now was anything but.

He continued to stare into Kagome's eyes, his amber eyes glowing with an almost cruel intensity, waiting for the painful knowledge to become mutual.

To Kagome, it as if his eyes were boring holes into her. But, try as she might, she couldn't tear her gaze away from his. Her face was dry… like a marquee gone haywire, scenes of Inuyasha and Kikyou rolled one after the other mercilessly inside her head and her whole being throbbed with pain when the realization that she couldn't be with Inuyasha now hit her. He had to be there to save Kikyou. He couldn't dither around, having second thoughts because of her. She knew that. He knew that. She had to go.

But, Gods, it was difficult. So very difficult. He legs barely understood her commands. They refused to move from where they were very firmly planted on the ground.

"Inuyasha…" The word that had once been a soothing balm to Kagome, one that had gladdened her heart and one that had sustained her just as much as a breath of air, was now a lump in her throat. It stuck there, choking her.

"Kagome Higurashi," she told herself sternly, "Retain what dignity you have left. Do you want him to tell you to go? Do you want to hear him say such words? Go. Go!"

Bolstered by such words, she took a tentative step back, hoping to look sure of herself.

Not happening. She immediately stumbled, the blood rushing back to her previously stationary legs painfully.

As soon as Inuyasha saw her wince, his body instinctively made to take a step forward.

Kagome's features hardened imperceptibly when she saw him about to come to her. She turned and positively fled.

She knew Inuyasha wouldn't come back to the village for some time. That gave her enough time to think. Well, at least try to think! Her first thought was to go home. To her mother, Souta, Ji-chan and even Buyo. But, if she went back, there would be school. Studies, homework… they required concentration she did not have at this point of time. Worse, she would have to face all her friends, their questions and Hojo! She didn't think she could handle all that. Her mother, understanding as she was, wouldn't exactly allow her to skip that much school. If she stayed in the Sengoku Jidai, where could she go? She most definitely couldn't stay with Inuyasha and the rest of her friends. The thought of Kouga's cloistering and boisterous nature made her want to cringe. The thought of even considering Sesshoumaru was laughable… the Western Lord's frigid exterior thawed ever so slightly only in the case of little Rin. He wouldn't bother himself with her. But, what could she do? And what would she do if she stayed in the Sengoku Jidai? Why did all this have to be so hard?

Never before had Kagome felt so alone.

Inuyasha felt like a bastard. "This is your life now. Nobody ever said life is a bed of fucking roses and after all she's done for you, you owe her. You owe Kikyou." He told himself. Kagome would be alright. She had her whole life in front of her. He, on the other hand…

His days with Kagome seemed to flow effortlessly like a happy little stream, without a care in the world. But, it just wasn't fair for him to smile, laugh, relax, and live…Not when the strength Kikyou needed to take even one step had to come from dead souls. His mind was awash with memories more than half a century old.

Of course, Kikyou had never uttered the words, "You owe me", she hadn't even implied it! But it was more of a moral issue. This was the honorable thing to do.

When he was all alone, a savage living among the trees, it was Kikyou who had reached out to him. Was she selfish for wanting him to use the Shikon No Tama to turn human?

No… of course not! It was bestial…inhuman to expect one woman to bear the crushing, stifling, and dangerous weight of protecting the Shikon No Tama. Much as she interacted with all the village residents, her life could be compared to that of a recluse. All her future held was the jewel. No love, no freedom, no true life.

It had seemed to Inuyasha, he and Kikyou were made for each other.

If he was human, and the Jewel didn't exist anymore, he and Kikyou could truly be together. All that stuff about Kikyou not liking him as a hanyou…it was rubbish! If they could have been together as human and hanyou, they would have, wouldn't they! Using the Jewel to become human… it seemed like the perfect solution.

And after the episode with Goshinki, he wasn't so sure he wanted to become full youkai.

Kikyou and Inuyasha… two souls wronged. Misunderstood.

Fifty years ago, Kikyou had to give up her life for the Jewel and now, she was back. A whisper of her former self. It was horrifying how pure malice and hate towards Inuyasha had sustained her, but, as time passed, and she collected the dead souls, old emotions came pouring back into Kikyou. If her old life was hard, it didn't hold a candle to the nomadic one she led now.

It wasn't fair. This was a situation in which they were both bound. That was why Inuyasha had to go. He just had to.

As he buried his face in his hands, he only hoped and prayed with every fiber of his being that someday, Kagome would understand.

When Kagome reached the village, her thoughts were still churning. She basically wanted to go where memories of Inuyasha wouldn't flood her…

Sango was busy polishing Hiraikotsu while beadily keeping an eye on the Monk and all his less-than-honorable intentions. Shippou was busy playing with all his little toys and a tiny Kirara was enjoying a nap in the sun.

When Kagome's eye fell on such a familiar scene, she could feel the lump in her throat rise again. She walked up to Sango, sank to the ground so that their eyes were on the same level and said, "Sango-chan, I-I forgot some essential things at home, I'll just go get them, alright? But I might be a while. So, see you in sometime, Sango-chan." Sango smiled and nodded but didn't expect what came next. "I just wanted to tell you you're a great friend, and thanks for everything." Caught off-guard by Kagome's hug, Sango smiled awkwardly and said, "Th-Thanks, you too…"

It was Shippou's turn next. But, the little kitsune was always happy for a hug, and he responded enthusiastically.

If Sango and Shippou were a little surprised at Kagome's words and actions, they were absolutely stunned when Kagome gave Miroku a quick hug as well, because never before had either of the girls voluntarily given Miroku such a fantastic opportunity to feel them up.

The monk in question was so shocked himself, that pretty much the last thing on his mind were perverted intentions. When she drew back, ever perceptive, he asked, "Kagome-sama is every thing alright?" The trio's eyes were trained on Kagome, but all they got in response from her was silence. She smiled softly; stroked Kirara's back and slowly walked out of the hut.

She was staying, she decided, in the Sengoku Jidai. She just couldn't handle "real" life for now. Perhaps a little soul-searching was exactly what she needed. "Just because Inuyasha doesn't want me around anymore doesn't mean I have to give up all my friends here. I can visit Jinenji…I could talk to Kouga-kun…okay, maybe not. I can find a nice village, I can use what powers I have and see if I like it there. Yes, and if Sesshoumaru passes by, I can talk to Rin-Chan. Whenever I want, I can visit Shippou, Sango-chan, and Miroku. May be even Kaede-Baa-Chan. Not Inuyasha and Kikyou, obviously. Obviously." Kagome was doing some serious thinking…

Her mother wasn't expecting her back for sometime, she had said her good byes earlier in the day. She had already left the little glass vial of Shikon shards in a corner of the hut…Sango, Miroku, Shippou, and she was pretty sure even Inuyasha all thought she was back in her time. She had restocked her quiver of arrows and checked her bow.

Just one more thing before she set out. From a little side pocket in her diaphanous yellow bag, she brought out her bottle of perfume. A heady mix of musk and rose, she knew the smell would be foreign to Inuyasha. Quickly squirting it all over herself, she hoisted the bag onto her shoulder and began her uncertain journey outside the village.

She didn't know where she was going; she didn't know what she would do in case she was ambushed by youkai, she didn't know what she hoped to accomplish by doing such a stupid thing.

All she knew was that she was getting away from Inuyasha.

Away from him… out of his hair. Out of his life.

Okay… this is my first attempt at a chapter fic with an actual plot. Tell me whether you'd like to read more with a review… Thank you! Have a nice day.

-Faith