101 Rules For Hetalians Attending World Conference Meetings
1. Do not hum any song from The Sound of Music when you walk by Austria
2. Do not rearrange place cards to sit your OTP together
3. Do not glomp Russia... this is a bad idea
4. No matter how much you think he deserves it, do will not sneak Sealand in
5. Sitting Hungary by Prussia is not a good thing
6. Not even if you want to see your favorite scene from Tangled played out in Hetalia form
7. Do not give love advice to Germany
8. He WILL misinterpret it
9. If you hand England a pirate hat, nothing good will come of it
10. Spain tied up and at sword-point is not good
11. I don't care if it's your fetish, it's not good
12. Playing Nyancat at a world conference will be classified as terrorism. You will be shot
13. Repeatedly
14. In the face
15. Playing the caramelldansen has two effects. Either it pisses Sweden off, or it gets him horny
16. Neither one is pleasant
17. If you bring food, you better bring some Fancy Feast too. The Greek Army is finicky
18. Talking to France is just bad idea in general
19. Especially if you're alone and value your virginity
20. Even if you're a guy
21. Even if you're not human
22. Okay, if you have a PULSE you're not safe
23. And even if you don't, there's no guarantee...
24. Allowing for Gilbird to meet Pierre will cause another Franco-Prussian War, but with feathers
25. Either that, or tiny little chicks
26. Or both
27. Don't load the coffee machine with Espresso
28. It's loaded with Decaf for a reason
29. Don't try and drag England into a Revolutionary War reenactment
30. BAAAAAD things come of it
31. If you play Tetris with Russia, you will lose
32. Asking Spain about the armada never ends well
33. Don't ask Prussia if the tiny chinstraps on his hats reflect anything
34. Don't record the sound of Ukraine's breasts bouncing
35. It's rude and Russia will beat the crap out of you for it
36. Don't ask Germany about the content of the tapes Italy saw
37. Also, don't ask him about what he got for Christmas
38. Don't hop up on the table and exclaim that duck-tape is the answer to all the world's problems
39. It's duck-tape and WD40 that will solve them all anyway
40. Suggesting to America that everyone should form a superhero squadron is a horrible idea
41. It's almost impossible to find Canada unless you're Canadian, if you're from anywhere else, don't bother
42. This is NOT the answer
43. Don't call England 'Iggy'
44. Never ask for a group photo, South Korea sees these as opportune moments
45. Don't throw paper planes at Switzerland, he'll shoot them
46. If you get America McDonalds, be prepared to get your spine broken in the 'most awesomely heroic hug EVER!'
47. Don't ask about what went on during the 1985 Summit meetings, Russia and America don't seem to acknowledge or understand innuendo
48. Going near Russia in the presence of Belarus is unwise
49. Seriously, we've had more than one funeral because of this
50. For the love of all that is holy, DON'T SHOW ITALY OR AMERICA CREEPYPASTA!
51. Though if you do, we suggest you have warm milk, teddy bears, and a camera ready
52. Do not, under any circumstances, EVER show France or Japan the Hetalia Kink Meme
53. Don't fistbump America unless you want to get hurled through a wall
54. Getting England drunk, while hilarious, will strand you with the bill
55. Don't brush Denmark off by telling him to go hump a horse
56. He will do it
57. No, you can't take pictures
58. Don't. Steal. Texas.
59. Don't sit America and Canada next other during the Stanley Cup Playoffs
60. Don't join the betting pools on how long it takes for Germany to lose it
61. We all know it takes one minute and 18 seconds anyway
62. Stealing America's iPhone gives access to every game known to man, and several known to only Tony
63. If you manage to steal it, share
64. Do not accept offers to become one with Russia
65. Don't perv on anyone
66. ...Screw rule 65
67. If you know what I mean~
68. Don't ask for any nation to autograph your antiques
69. Don't refer to stalking as 'Belarusing'
70. Don't stroke Prussia's ego
71. Don't tell Prussia that he only lives on as 'New Prussia' in Canada, and is thus Canadian
72. We all know he's East Germany anyway...
73. Don't try to trigger HRE memories in Germany
74. They will happen when they damn well feel like it
75. HOWEVER, if you manage to find an adult size of Italy's old maid dress, you may want to try it
76. Don't accept Greece's private offers unless it's necessary
77. Talking in Lolcatz is considered another form of terrorism
78. Don't give America and Canada the Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum parts of Alice In Wonderland to say
79. Don't make fun of China's speech impediment... aru...
80. Making England wear a monocle and top hat is cruel
81. It is, however, entertaining
82. Do not, EVER, give America a shotgun and tell him that Russia went communist again
83. Shit hits the fan
84. Just because almost everyone is blond doesn't mean they need hair dye
85. Staking out your favorite country's hotel room is illegal
86. Don't ask Iceland about the penis museum
87. Singing Maru Kaite Chikyuu ontop of the table has the less-than-desirable effect of getting you booted from the conference room
88. Don't try and cop and accent, this will get you branded as a tool
89. Stealing Hanatamago is instant death
90. This also applies to Russia's vodka
91. Even if you use it to make white Russians
92. Playing the Friday song also counts as terrorism
93. Don't mention Justin Beiber or Celine Deon to Canada
94. Just... just don't do it
95. If you give America a burger he'll want a soda to go with it
96. And then he'll need apple pie to compliment it...
97. Killing is illegal, just keep this in mind if you run across a rival shipper
98. Shipping wars are not permitted inside the conference room
99. OUTSIDE the conference room, on the other hand, is a completely different story
100. Always obey rule 101
101. The last rule was eaten by Soviet Russia, all nations will become one, da~? ^J^