"Ngh…" I pant, holding his frail, moonlit hips within my tanned grasp, sliding heavily into him. I'm rewarded with another soft pant, the young prince whimpering behind his muffling arm. His eyes are screwed shut, in both pleasure and pain, raven-colored hair spread wildly against the pillows. His slick body slides with mine as the rhythm continues to pick up, faster…faster…harder.

"Suzaku!" He cries out suddenly in pleasure, throwing his head back, spine arching severely in what I can only imagine to be sheer ecstasy. My lips twist into a smirk, watching his frazzled, desperate eyes, their deep violet color unusually bright, locked onto mine and practically screaming for more.

"I love-"

"Lelouch…" I whisper, eyes sliding open, the sheets wrapped around my legs, pillow resting in the opposite corner of the room. My grip is tight against the comforter, the threads obviously traumatized from my grasp, frayed and wet. Sighing, I rest my head against the pillow, staring off towards Arthur who returns the grasp and the exact same thought.

I missed my chance…

"This is the 5 year anniversary of the Death of the late Holy Emperor of Britannia, Lelouch Vi Britannia," Milly explains through the television, her cheery disposition tainted with memories only few knew of. Stepping into the kitchen, I am already fully costumed, the terrorizing mask lying idly against the kitchen counter. That's right… I never let anyone see my face… except her.

"Good morning, Suzaku," Nunally mutters, already seated at the table, frowning slightly at the TV. I move to turn it off but see her gesture of unnapproval. "Please… "

Stepping back, I stare at the picture, a common picture depicting Lelouch as a student of the same high school we once existed in together. I try not to react, after all, it was my hand who ended it all. But from that moment I took the mask, I knew that I would forever regret my decision. It wasn't the pain of living on when I should atone for the sins I've committed or the irony of having to bear the title of Zero… It was simply that I could have said no… said what I truly felt.

"In later news, The Unit-"

The day went about as per usual. I strolled protectively behind Nunally as she attended conference after conference, seeing that her brother's dream of a new world would be upheld. And what a sick and lonely world it was. Everyone else smiled… taunted and soiled Lelouch's name… they didn't even realize the gift he had bestowed unto them… and it infuriated me. Nunally understood this and would consistently take my hand when others couldn't see. Her eyes were calming… relaxing… but only to some extent…

I cringe, tears running down my bare chest, biting hard into my arm. My eyes are hazed over, watching the monitor, Lelouch's angel-sculpted face continuing to smile my way, muttering generous phrases.

"Suzaku… you're still the same jock I knew." "Suzaku… can you come over tonight?" "Suzaku… I need to talk to you about something important…"

I pant, chocking in the tears, my other hand running over the tip heavily, almost painfully, wanting to punish myself in every way. Lelouch watches me, his eyes gentle and understanding, a deep sense of sadness inside. But I know that with that sadness was the joy of the time we spent together. I move quicker, panting heavily, muscle throbbing painfully, begging for more.

Quicker…

Harder…

"Suzaku.." He smiles, warmly, holding a hand out. "Over here… " My voice rings with his, whispering, "What is it?" That devilish glint enters his eyes as he replies, "trust me… come."

"L-lelouch," I cry out heavily into my arm, shaking, back rigid, body shaking viciously. Throwing my head back, streams of sticky substance slide from me, landing against my torso and I shudder, collapsing against the table, panting heavily, muscle now limp, hearing Lelouch's soft words.

"Did you like it?"

I smile weakly, whispering, "it'd be a lot nicer… if you were still here."

It didn't seem fair, the game fate plays against those who decide to partake in life. Nunally would be forever crippled, I would forever be miserable, and Lelouch died a virgin. I blush from behind the mask, thinking this fact over and over again… he was going to be mine… and I failed… Wouldn't it only be fair to get a second chance?

Standing guard from the other side of the door, I can hear Nunally's kind words echoing throughout the exposition hall, speaking of further plans for implementing peace and helping to stabilize all countries without the intention to control them. Lelouch never needed a council… the ideas just came naturally… and if he was so damned smart, why couldn't he figure out how I felt?

The hallway begins to clack with the sound of heals and I look to my left, seeing a young lady wearing a long white jacket, buttoned tightly up. Over her light hair is a cream colored scarf, emphasizing the round, transparent, chocolate sunglasses she wore. Sunglasses? Inside this dimply lit building?

Suspiciously, I move to step in her way and she continues to walk to me, whispering gently as she passed me, "If you want to know… you have find your voice… Suzaku Kururugi."

I freeze, turning towards this woman who had already turned the corner… Want to know what? Why she was wearing sunglasses? Who she was and what her purpose was? Why she fearlessly passed me, well knowing the gun I fashion and the sword hanging from my belt… And how did she know who I was…?

The only three people in the world who knew… Nunnaly… Lelouch and –

"C.C." I whisper, taking off after her. What was she hiding and what was there to tell me! Desperately, I follow what only amounted to a guess of where she had gone to. Ripping my way through the light crowds, I spot her entering the station. Murmurs seem to accumulate, even after 7 years of Zero's existence, and I do my best to ignore them. I'm not the hero they're thinking of… it's him… it's…

I manage one last glance at the woman, the breeze from the train's arrival whipping her bright green hair into view and desperately leap the fence, bolting towards her, spotting the doors closing. With all my might, I rush the doors, jumping through them with only partial success. My cape sticks between the now-closed doors and the train begins moving forward, revealing the cape to be snagged on something outside as my body slides back towards the door, the tie throttling me.

Live…

I'm against the door, sword in hand, cape completely removed and absolutely no recollection of what just happened. Panting heavily, I notice tiredly for the first time that there are no other passengers on the train. Alone…

A familiar clacking fills the room, the woman moving towards me, staring down at my body which begins to fall into sleep. I can see a faint smile as she whispers, "It's time…"

With a familiar, cold feeling, the train begins to glow and I fall to sleep.

Thank you for reading this far! I just had this random idea and felt the need to share it with the world. Please review :D It keeps the writer happy. As promised, this is a yaoi fic with Lelouch and Suzaku that will be based 5 years after Lelouch's death and include some characters from the new Code Geass manga :D . ALSO! I apologize for my terrible English. I've been studying a much simpler language and it's been on my mind 24/7 for the past 44 weeks! So my English sucks! XD I hope you enjoyed this! It will get better :D Please review! ~heart~

P.S.S. برای مردم که می خواهند این داستان را به زبان فارسی بخوانند، می توانم این را ترجمه کنم