A: TLA does not belong to me, enjoy part 1, in Katara's pov. I'm not super-duper happy with the pacing, but I'm tired of poking at it.

Aang ascends into the air after dropping me off in the back gardens of the palace, he has something urgent to attend to, and with a brand new child he simply can't afford to leave me alone at the air temple right now- or so I've convinced him. I watch him as he leaves- I know it's wrong when a heavy weight lifts off of my heart the further he is in the distance. Tenzin is only two weeks old, wrapped up snugly in my capable arms. He slept the whole trip, to my relief. Hopefully Zuko would have gotten my letter by now. I peered out into the yard, seeing no sign of him. Perhaps he hadn't read it yet after all, he was busier these days.

I found that my mind wandered slowly to our shared past. We had written to each other a lot at first, but over time the letters came further and further apart. One day I realized that he had just stopped writing to me, so I shrugged my shoulders and let sleeping dogs lie. There was no real need to be in constant communication any more- but I remembered the last letter he'd sent me perfectly. Maybe I should have expected it, the way he implied that he was swamped with work and stress. It may have stuck out, but Zuko's distance had not been the only thing that had changed in six long years.

Toph occasionally had a note dictated to us, telling me about her adventures in the Earth kingdom and beyond. She took back her champion's belt and lived life as a quasi-hermit and vigilante, usually keeping her identity as the Avatar's earthbender a secret. Sokka and Suki had a child last year, after Suki moved permanently to the southern water tribe. They had named their baby Yui. My father had retired and Sokka became the tribe leader. I understood that he was scared of all that responsibility, but I was half a world away from all of them; I couldn't help take the burden off of his shoulders; it was a good thing that he had grown into the role with time.

Sometimes I woke up and I could hardly believe the time that had passed. When we had first splintered off, I rose in the morning still expecting to hear Toph bickering with somebody, expected Zuko to be off somewhere practicing his bending, even looking forward to Sokka's snoring. I also expected that dull nostalgia to fade over time, but it never did. In the first year it hadn't been so bad. We were all scrambling to stave off civil war, quell rebellions; it was as if our base had just relocated itself to Zuko's study. There were a lot of parties and meetings; we all became diplomats and delegates, united under the Avatar's banner. It took us all, working day and night to keep Zuko from losing his precarious grasp on the fire nation. The difference that year shifted from making peace to keeping it. It turns out that the divide between them isn't so wide after all. Toph had left first, eager to reclaim her title as the best bender in the earth kingdom, Sokka and Suki left to the Kyoshi islands to enjoy a lasting calm, and finally Aang almost literally had to drag me out the door of the palace in the end, with hasty goodbyes and promises to visit soon.

& that was it, in the blink of an eye five more years had passed us all by. I saw them at least once every year, of course, at the grand ball held in the fire nation to celebrate the end of the war and mourn those lost. They all looked so different. Toph was a grown woman now, my brother was married with child, and Zuko… I didn't know about him. Older, more mature, more… fire lord-y. I wondered how changed I seemed to them.

An old gloom gathered over my heart as I recalled the happiness of the past, but I shoved the feelings down again. They had no place in my life now.

I knew the way to Zuko's study by heart, though I did stop to ask a passing guardsman where he was to be sure. Even now, I was quite well-known in the fire kingdom. I used to be Zuko's escort at the random political gatherings that took place, considering the fact that I'd lived in the palace for nearly a year, and was the only tan-skinned woman likely to be anywhere near the fire nation, I was hard to miss. Before leaving, he bowed and spoke my official title- "Lady Katara."

I just blushed and dismissed him. It was ages since anybody had referred to me as that- usually I was the Avatar's wife, his waterbender. I appreciated the man's sentiment, however.

I knocked on Zuko's door almost timidly, shifting Tenzin in my arms. For a moment I almost believed he wasn't there after all, and was about to turn away to find a maid when I heard it swing open behind me.

"…Katara."

I started and looked up to see him move aside, clad in light robes. His hair was down, barely grazing his shoulders. I almost threw myself around him in happiness. I had missed him greatly, and this had been my sole visit to the Fire Nation ever since Aang had told me it was time to leave. We only ever stayed two nights for the ball, and I never had a chance to speak with him alone. A warm smile spread across my face, but Zuko did not share it. He was standing slightly off to the side, allowing me passage into the study. There was something in his eyes that spoke of distance; because despite the fact that I was right in front of him, he looked through me, into the grand hall behind. My joy faded quickly back into my chest, and I entered the room I had once spent many sleepless nights in with a new solemnness. Where there had once been six chairs, there were now two, not including Zuko's own. My heart sank in a way I couldn't begin to describe.

"Did you get my letter?" I thought it was the only reasonable thing I could think of for him to not have been waiting for me, the message could have gotten lost, or perhaps Aang and I had just outstripped it.

"I did."

".. Oh."

The coldness in his voice stripped me of all me previous eagerness to see him. He made no motion to explain himself, to mutter conciliatory words. No, he had indeed read that letter, and he hadn't cared, that was what he meant. The fire lord cleared his throat, and I looked up from the baby I had been awkwardly studying.

"Tea?"

I paused for a moment before replying. "Sure."

And he had poured it for me without once meeting my eye. I gulped it down greedily, feeling the sear warm my insides.

"So how's Aang?"

"He's doing fine, he just need to…"

"I know."

Of course he did, it was in the letter, along with news of our child. I tried to break the silence that settled again shortly afterward;

"How have you been?"

"Good."

I almost sighed aloud- just these curt answers. Why had he invited me in if he didn't want to have a discussion?

"Tenzin?"

I did perk up at that, a smile blooming on my face. I raised the boy above the desk to let Zuko see him.

"All mine."

Another long pause began. I pursed my lips.

"Has the Fire Nation been enjoying the end of the war?"

"Our economy is making a swift recovery."

"How are your ministers?" I clearly remembered how he used to come back from meetings, flames engulfing his fists as he ripped the crown from his topknot.

"They are fine."

He stopped speaking yet again, and I felt my frustration build. I hadn't come this far to be dismissed as if he didn't want me here, as if I were just a nuisance. In this very room, I had helped him write speeches until the crack of dawn, helped him review documents and balance accounts, wrote letters to every nation's delegates five times. I even got him food when he didn't have the time or will to leave the study, I saw him in his weakest moments of despair.

It was as if none of that had ever happened, and I was now the same to him as I was to everyone else: The Avatar's wife, the figurehead of peace.

I looked up solemnly, about to announce my intent to let him work in solitude, but the first thing I saw was Zuko's hand, specifically, Zuko's ring finger; where it was always bare before, there was now a slim golden band there. I was struck by how natural it seemed, as if it had always been there. My eyes steeled over, and I clutched Tenzin a little bit tighter. He was stirring, as if he could feel my emotions as I did.

"So, you're engaged now?" In those words there was a thin veil of civility. This had bothered me- after all, I clearly remembered that he'd called all the court women "fire-breathing dragon vipers". I swallowed the lump in my throat uneasily.

Zuko stopped writing to look at me directly, for the first time since I'd stepped off Appa's back. "…I am."

I chafed "When is the wedding?"

"Two months from now."

"Who is your bride?"

"Her name is Lady Ming Sun."

Two months from now was the war's end celebration. It meant that Zuko either was going to be married shortly before or shortly after it. It meant that I would be attending, and that he was truly engaged to one of those dragon vipers. The thought made my heart clench in strange ways. I always thought it was unusual that Zuko didn't get married before all of us, considering the fact that he was the only one in great need of an heir. I hadn't dwelled on it then, but now that it happened I found that it hit me with the force of a rhino bull and I didn't know why. I blurted out a question that sounded more like a demand.

"Do you love her?"

Zuko's fist clenched at the same time my own did. Cold steel met with molten gold, sparks flew up in the air.

"She's going to be my wife." His voice was harder than rock, and I felt the words cut me deep in a place I couldn't pin. I stood up abruptly, knocking over my own chair. Tenzin woke up.

"That's not an answer." I seethed with cold fury.

What he would say next made my heart stop, and a feeling ran through me like swallowing ice cubes.

"Did you love Aang?"

My eyes widened, I was utterly speechless. It was a low blow, and he'd known it in the almost regretful way he looked at me. He had undone me in four words that he hadn't dared bring up since that night, and perhaps I would have just stood there in broken stupor had Tenzin not started to cry. I said nothing more before exiting his study, not noticing that the tea in his pot had turned into ice as I left.

A maid found me shortly after, almost in tears, but thankfully not quite yet, and I had been escorted into my rooms.

That's how a master waterbender ended up feeding her infant with a bottle of milk, alone, crying up a storm. I recalled Aang's conversation with me before we had left the air temple.

"Why do you want to go to the fire nation? Why not stay here? Tenzin is too young to travel so far."

"Aang, don't be ridiculous, I can't take care of him on my own. What if something happens to me? You could be gone for a month!"

He paused in contemplation, and I kept going. "Besides, I haven't seen Zuko since last year. We haven't caught up for a while and he's the only person who stays in one place most of the time." The same could not be said for Toph, who all but vanished off the face of the planet between notes, and Sokka was in the South Pole. Aang was won over, and I had been almost giddy the whole journey to the capitol.

I thought that I'd be welcomed with open arms, that we'd spend all their time reminiscing about the past and that he'd be overjoyed to be Tenzin's godfather. What had I done to him to be treated like an outsider again? It was true that we hadn't been close in recent years, but he couldn't honestly have held me accountable for that when he stopped writing back! It was unfair; unfair that I didn't even know about his engagement, and unfair that he acted as if we hadn't fought side-by-side against his sister.

"Just what is his problem?" I shouted angrily to my wall. Tenzin didn't seem to mind.

I tucked Tenzin into the small crib they'd provided me with and went to sleep with my head full of questions about the stupid Fire Lord who had become a stranger to me.

"Zuko." The fire lord looked up, surprise written on his face. "What are you doing out here?"

He contemplated his answer for a moment, bread in his hand and turtle ducks enjoying a feast. He could not lie to her. "I'm just relaxing."

"The great fire lord, relaxing? That's a new one."

"Hah. I'm not stiff all the time, you know."

"I know; it's impossible to be stiff in your sleep, after all." She continued to poke fun at him, but ended up joining him on the stone bench in the end.

"Why are you still up?"

"For the same reason you are." She told him innocently, dipping her bare feet into the pond.

"You're worried?" That had made her pause and purse her lips.

"I am- about lots of things."

His curiosity was piqued "Like?"

She was reluctant to tell him, he read it on her face like how he read a letter. "Just everything, maybe; everyone, but mostly just… Aang."

I woke up to the sound of somebody knocking on the door. I was vaguely aware that there were dried tears smattered on my cheeks, and yelled "Just a second!" before rushing off to bend away all traces of yesterday from my face.

To my surprise, it was that very stupid Fire Lord who stood at my door. He glanced at the crib in the corner of the room before looking back to me, with my messy clothes from yesterday and my bed hair. I realized that I must have looked like a train wreck, but couldn't find it in myself to care for appearances.

"Can we… talk?"

He sounded oddly off-key, and I sensed the shadow of an apology in his voice. I couldn't avoid him forever, and it was better to resolve whatever issues we both seemed to have now, right? I nodded, and he led the way. Zuko walked fast in his pointy boots, I had to admit. I struggled to keep up with his pace. I could tell that he was a bit nervous, the way he fiddled with his robe tassels.

The Fire Lord ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "I'm sorry, Katara." He looked over to me and I could see the regret pool in his eyes. "What I said was awful. I just..."

I felt myself shaking my head, but I didn't feel anything. "No. It was none of my business to ask about your… fiancée." I smiled painfully, and saw the same emotion reflected back to me in his face. "After all, I'm not your political advisor anymore." -or your escort, or really anything that belongs in your life. I'm simply your past now.

Nothing else important was said after that. We passed our time with idle chatter until Zuko was called away to a meeting with his ministers, and I returned to my room to take care of Tenzin. Nothing was like how it was before. Not I and certainly not Zuko.

I was right, of course. We really weren't connected the way they were. There was a big, impossible distance that had opened up between us. It was no longer us two, Katara and Zuko, it was the Avatar's waterbender and the Fire Lord, like it was from the beginning. I felt a little rift open up inside me when I understood with a sad certainty that we could never sit in his garden at midnight ever again.

"What about Aang?"

The waterbender sighed, wondering where to begin. "He's not right for me. I can tell."

Zuko could tell too, but he'd never say that out loud. She continued. "He loves me so much, and I just…"

"Don't." He finished for her. She looked hauntingly beautiful in the pale moonlight, and also very sad.

"What can I do, though? It's not like I have a choice." But she always had a choice; she just wouldn't let herself see him like that. She couldn't possibly love him, nor could she love the air boy she'd saved almost 2 years ago. She had trapped herself with a sense of duty.

"What about you, Zuko?"

A week passed uneventfully. I stayed in my room most of the time, leaving to eat breakfast with the Fire Lord every morning. A week's worth of meaningless chitchat about the weather, the state of the air temple and a dozen other things I could not make myself care for if I tried. On the ninth day, however, there was an addition to our solemn party of two. Zuko cleared his throat as he stood up, clearly not expecting her. As he circled around the table, however, I became increasingly aware of who she really was. When his arm wrapped around her impossibly tiny waist, I knew.

"Katara, meet Ming."

The girl I was being introduced to bowed gently. She had jet black hair, done in an ornate up-do that made me want to reach for my own little hair loopies self-consciously. Ming donned an elaborate looking dress with several layers, the topmost being the colour of coral with a red under-dress peeking out at the collar and sleeves. She wore it with a white silk sash, and generally just looked every bit as Fire Lady as I had expected of Zuko's future wife. Her face was not severe; rather, it was soft and delicate. They both took their seats at the head of the table. She was beautiful, her manners exceptional, and also seemed to be quite intelligent, sometimes asking Zuko about his recent political woes.

I managed to silently suffer through half of my plate before being rescued by a maid who said Tenzin had woken up early and began crying. I tried not to make it look as if I was escaping the room, but it probably seemed that way exactly. Upon leaving, I leaned my back against the cold wood of the wall by the double doors to the dining room. I could hear them talk, doted in places by Zuko's deep laughter and Ming's own lady-like giggle. So that was it then. It may have taken five long years, but Zuko had replaced me with somebody better in every way. I just couldn't wait to see their graceful, pale, amber-eyed children.

"Shh, Tenzin. Mommy's here." I cooed softly to my child. Large blue eyes stared up at me, brimming with yet unspilled tears. Tenzin had inherited Aang's skin; I didn't know what else, though. I had never been good at picking out which features children inherited from either parent, and I settled myself into assuming that Tenzin would be handsome and kind in the future, and that was all I cared for.

Tenzin must have also been psychic, because he kept saving me when I needed it most; that first day in Zuko's study, and now, too. He was also a very well behaved baby. I read to him with books borrowed from the palace's library, sang him water tribe lullabies, and just passed the days by like that. I did not regret having Tenzin, despite these confused feelings for his father. He gave me a toothless smile, and I couldn't help but put my own feelings aside for a moment to smile back.

I had been horrified the moment I learned that I was pregnant. I knew that it would have to happen eventually, but I was unprepared for it. Aang, typically, was overjoyed, and I pretended to share his feelings as I always did. I wrote letters to everyone, informing them all of the good news. Of everybody I mailed Zuko was the only one who hadn't replied. Now I guess I knew why- it seemed as if he didn't want much to do with me anymore.

Did you know that the air nomads didn't get married? They lived communally at the air temple, which was all well and good until the temples were destroyed a century ago. That's why I didn't have anything to tie me to Aang except for Aang himself, and now Tenzin as well. People still called me the Avatar's wife, though, because it was basically true. Ever since we had left the Fire nation we had been inseparable.

I knew I should have been happy for it; happy to have an attentive husband, happy to travel the world, happy to not have to be alone; but it was always there, that feeling of what I had never being quite enough. If I wasn't with Aang, I could have been in the South Pole, I could have taken over the tribe and let Sokka continue living in Kyoshi with his wife and daughter. Maybe I'd even still be friends with the man who ruled over this palace and the lands surrounding.

I peered down at Tenzin sadly, because I knew that he would never see me truly as happy as I was once. I did love him, of course, but in the last few years I'd forgotten more and more of myself, living only half of what I could be. I sighed and placed the sleepy boy back into his crib before I heard knocking.

It was Zuko. How could it be anyone besides him? I was surprised though. I had honestly expected him to stay with Ming and then go off prancing about the palace grounds like engaged couples often did, but I knew I still wanted to talk to him despite myself. I tried not to look as hopeless as I felt, and plastered a smile on my face before opening the door.

There he was, in all his Fire Lord glory. The scene from a week ago replayed, but as we walked he said nothing. I knew where he was leading me- back to the place we had spent so much time together in the past. I was sneaking away from Aang, and he was forgetting for a few moments the responsibilities that lay on his shoulders. In a way, it was as if we were going back in time.

He stopped to think for a second, eyes looking skyward, toward the stars. He could just say he was worried about the fire nation, an easy exit if there ever was one. She would comfort him; tell him that I knew he'd be a great fire lord. That was just her way, and he never doubted her sincerity in that belief.

"What would have happened if I'd joined you sooner?"

The words slipped out of his mouth without him willing it, and he panicked slightly, peering over to her. She was looking up at the stars as well, instead of giving him the look he thought she'd be giving him.

"I don't think anything would have changed in the end."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Then would you have still picked the Avatar?"