Jazz resisted the urge to toss and turn. Recharge eluded him tonight, refusing to come no matter how tired he was. Finally he gave up, rolling from the berth with silent grace and making his way from the berthroom. There was no point in disturbing his bondmate's recharge just because he could not seem to rest.
He stopped by the window, visored gaze taking in the subtle lights of the city-state beyond the wall of the compound, hand rising unconsciously to rest over his breast plate. The new warmth in his spark was amazing. Incomparable. Indescribable with any words that Jazz knew.
Prowl was his now, in every sense of the word. And he belonged to the Praxian completely. Jazz wanted it no other way.
Warm arms wrapped around him and Jazz leaned back into the strong embrace, content until Prowl spoke.
"You left. Did I strike you again?"
Jazz just kept himself from flinching, grabbing Prowl's arms to hold them tighter around his frame. The second night they had recharged together Jazz had come in late and climbed onto the berth where Prowl was already recharging. Without thinking he had thrown an arm around Prowl and found himself restrained and pinned before he could process what was happening.
Prowl had apologized profusely, though Jazz had simply got right back on the berth and snuggled up the Praxian, his only demand an explanation. Prowl explained he had been bullied when he had first joined the Enforcers, the other trainees convinced his success with the training scenarios and strategy assignments the result of his noble sponsorship, and Jazz had been hard pressed to rein in his anger at those who had wanted to hurt his mate. The after curfew bullying had turned Prowl into a light and reactive recharger, a fact Jazz had yet to forget again, and a constant challenge to his abilities to let his mate rest peacefully.
"Nah. Ya didn' do nothin'. I couldn' charge and didn' wanna wake ya."
Tension drained from Prowls frame as rested his helm on Jazz's shoulder, one hand sliding up to rest over Jazz's spark. "You know that doesn't work so well anymore."
"Didn' work well before." Jazz quipped with a smile, hand resting on Prowl's. "Ya should go back ta bed."
"Not if you can't recharge." Prowl argued softly.
Jazz sighed, not wanting to keep Prowl up but too restless to sleep, and looked around the sitting room. "Play a game?"
The Praxian laughed easily as Jazz let go of the hold on his arms. "If it will help you recharge when we are done."
They set down at the board and Prowl started laying out the pieces. "Why?"
"Why what? Why play?" Jazz asked. "Figure I try, ya whoop me anyway, and by then I'll be ready to 'charge and you'll be ready to come back ta bed with me."
"Why do you keep playing me when I always win?" Prowl clarified as he finished setting up the board. Even at his worst Prowl had never been in danger of actually loosing a match of Sovereign with Jazz.
"Because it's important ta ya." Jazz answered, picking up one of the pieces and holding it up to the light before setting it back down for his first move. "Though I 'ave wondered if it's the playin' or the set itself that means something ta ya."
Prowl ran a finger lightly over a worn piece before placing it precisely for his own move. "Both. The mech that gave me this board was the same one who taught me to play. I play to remember everything he taught me, and I keep the board to remind me that someone did care about me."
"Sounds like a good mech." Jazz commented off hand as he frowned and made his play.
"An old mech who had nothing to loose by being kind to a 'charity' case. He had nothing left to do with his orns but teach a youngling to play games of strategy when said youngling was doing his best to not be noticed." Prowl moved as he spoke, his voice soft with memory and sadness.
"He was kind to ya." Jazz stated bluntly, visor rising to meet Prowl's optics.
The Praxian nodded. "The other servants were never cruel, but none of them wished to attract the ill will of the lord by being anything more than civil to someone who the lord clearly despised."
"But this mech taught you to play Sovereign and didn't give a damn."
Prowl smiled. "This mech found a youngling crying in the palace gardens and introduced him to Guess. Once he started loosing every round of a simple sparkling's game he then proceeded to introduce that same sparkling to Sovereign, among other things."
Jazz nudged another piece into place, thoroughly distracted. He actually wasn't a half bad player, but he would have had to play blindfolded to keep his optics off the Praxian. Distracted more than usual by the story Prowl was telling he didn't stand a chance.
"So what happened to him?" Jazz had his own suspicions based on what he knew of the current lord of Praxus and his treatment of Prowl.
Prowl just shook his head, moving another piece and placing one of Jazz's he'd just defeated off to the side. "What happens to all 'bots, eventually. He returned to Primus and the Well to be reborn."
"And left ya alone again." Jazz concluded, making a face as he studied his last move.
Doorwings flicked in an agreeing shrug as Prowl conquered two of Jazz's pieces in one move. "There was little time between his passing and the incident which resulted in me being sent to train as an Enforcer. There I found…some acceptance, at least. And a purpose for existing."
Jazz had to bite his tongue before he made comments that he knew would hurt his mate, even indirectly. There was still a lot he had to learn about the mech that sat across from him. The bond between them was still very new, but the feelings of uselessness and worthlessness that had been drilled into Prowl during his time at the Praxian palace still lingered strong enough for Jazz to find them more often then he liked. Finally he settled for growling. "Still abandoned ya for no good reason."
Prowl shook his head. "I didn't listen. If I had, there is a probability I would still be serving at the palace."
"Listen to what?" Jazz asked, making a move at random.
"The last piece of advice the old mech gave to me before he passed on. He warned me to stay away from social functions. But the youngling I was then couldn't resist the lure of the celebration being held."
To someone as impatient as Jazz is felt like he was dragging the story out of his mate bit by bit, but Jazz was learning. This wasn't the first time he had discovered another piece of the history that made Prowl the mech he was over a game, and it had always been worth the effort. He made a move and waited for Prowl to continue.
"It was a celebration being held in honor of the creation and Presentation of Lord Streetwise's younger creation. In my curiosity I got too close and was noticed. The comments being made then meant nothing to me, about my resemblance to a Lady Song. With the crowding and the confusion I…crashed." Prowl frowned.
"Ya got sent away for disrupting the party?" Jazz experienced several of Prowl's crashes, and while they were not damaging to the mech himself, they could be extremely stressful for everyone involved.
"For being noticed in general. Lord Streetwise deemed it would be best if I was sent away. His solution was to sponsor me for Enforcer training." Prowl explained, removing another one of Jazz's pieces from the board. "I understand why he did not wish for me to be noticed, now."
Jazz looked at the board and stood abruptly. The outcome was a given, there was no way he was going to win, and the pain-that-was-not-his-pain in his spark was too much.
"Come back to bed, love." He grabbed Prowl's arm, pulling the mech to his feet.
"You are not tired." Prowl could read Jazz rather well and the Polyhexian was no where near recharge.
"Yer right. I ain't." Jazz pressed up against Prowls frame, claiming a kiss. "But this isn't workin' for either of us, so I've got a better idea. We're heading back to bed, and I'm gonna blow your processor until neither of can stay online."
Much later Jazz snuggled against his mate, spark content with the peace across the bond. It was going to take time to ease all the hurt that Prowl had experienced. Time to build the mech's confidence in the life that was now his, the life that should have been his from the beginning.
They had time. And as Jazz finally drifted into recharge he repeated the promise he had made to Prowl earlier as their sparks twined together. Prowl would not have to face the unfamiliar alone again. This road before them was new to them both, and they would face it.
Together.