A/N – Here be AU. Also, a sequel. I didn't intend to continue "My Kind of Crazy," but hey, looks like I did anyway. This will probably be the real end. Takes place about a month after that one, though really, as long as you can accept P/E are together, and this is AU, you should be fine to not have to read the first one.

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"This is a new one," Eliot says to the crowd as he tunes up his guitar, "It's called 'Crazy, Baby.'"

The crowd claps and whoops, quieting down when the soft music begins.

From behind the bar, Parker smirks slightly, watching the expressions on the faces in the crowd. She knows they were probably expecting an upbeat country rock song, like most of Eliot's songs, but she's happy they're wrong. Because this? This beautiful, acoustic, almost mellow song, is all hers.

"...and she's wild like fire and smooth as the rain. Her eyes see right into me, makes me insane, but she's mine. Oh, she's mine, my baby. Crazy, baby. Oh, I'm crazy, baby, and you're mine.."

.

Parker cheers loudly from the bar when the song ends, ignoring the startled looks from the patrons. She can see Eliot's blush from the stage, but it just makes her grin widen.

She can feel Hardison's presence before he even speaks and she holds up a finger threateningly,

"Don't you start, mister."

Hardison waves a grey bar rag at her in surrender. "I wasn't gonna say anything. Honest."

Parker quirks and eyebrow in suspicion, "Mmhm. And aren't surrender flags supposed to be white?"

"Racist," Hardison says with a deadpan expression.

Parker just stares back, the two of them locked in an impromptu staring contest, until Hardison cracks a moment later, unable to keep the laughter in.

"Ha!" Parker bounces on her feet, "I win!"

Hardison just shakes his head.

"You're lucky you're adorable."

Parker continues her victory dance even as Hardison walks away, muttering about crazy blondes and early retirement.

Her dance is cut short a moment later by the sudden intrusion of a warm wall into her personal space.

She stops dancing and turns to grin at her flannel covered wall.

"Hey."

"Hey to you," Eliot replies, wrapping his arms loosely around Parker's waist and giving her a small, private smile.

"I love my song," Parker says, reaching up to twist her fingers in the loose curls at Eliot's nape.

"You already told me that, last night," Eliot reminds her.

Parker scoffs, "I was all post-orgasmy! You could've sang me Ice Ice Baby and I would've offered you a Grammy. Or a blow job. Whichever."

She never gets tired of hearing Eliot laugh the way he's doing now.

"I'll remember that for next time," he says, smirking, "But seriously, I'm glad you like it. Me and Kressley worked hard on it."

"I was wondering why you two were suddenly best buds," Parker says, "I thought he was just giving you piano lessons."

"Hey!" Eliot says, mildly offended, "I know how to play the damn piano."

"Not like him," Parker replies, "Mmm, the way he can move his fingers, he makes the piano sing. And did you know he plays guitar?"

Eliot just stares at her grumpily.

"Hey," Parker moves closer and presses her cheek against his, "Forget about him. He can have his piano and his guitar. As long as I get you. You're the only one who makes me sing"

Eliot barks out a laugh against his will.

"That was really bad, baby."

Parker pulls back, smirking, "You love it, shut up."

"I.." Eliot starts to speak but is cut off my the arrival of the piano man himself.

.

"Gotta borrow loverboy for a minute, Parker, I'll give him right back."

Parker frowns, but relinquishes her hold on Eliot, "Fine, but no doing dirty things, you hear me, Kressley?"

He sighs and shakes his head, blonde waves flying around his face, "That is not my name, and you know it. And I've never seen that show in my life."

Parker scrunches up her nose in contemplation as she stares at this outfit.

"You really, really should. They could help with," she pauses to wave her hands over his outfit as a whole, "all of this."

"I dress fine!" Kressley argues, "Tell her, Eliot."

Eliot's smirk grows even cockier, "That shirt looks like a candy store and a play doh factory collided, then exploded inside a Bed Bath & Beyond."

Kressley actually looks a little deflated, "The sales girl liked it."

Eliot gives his friend a pitying look, "The sales girl liked your money."

"They're like hookers that way," Parker adds helpfully.

Eliot saves the other man from letting Parker explain her reasoning by grabbing his arm and pulling him away.

"Come on man, let's get those chords worked out."

"No sex!" Parker yells after them, just in case.

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"Parker!"

Parker looks up an instant before she has five foot something of excitable redhead barreling into her.

Laughing, she wraps the girl into a hug, steadying them both.

"Cora! I thought you were in Boston until next week!"

Cora gives her friend one last squeeze before pulling away.

"I was supposed to be. My aunt said she needed the help with getting my dad's affairs in order and stuff, but then she decided we were all driving her crazy and needed to leave."

Parker laughs, "And you were so heartbroken to leave, I see."

"I was this close to clocking the stubborn old broad, but Molly stopped me."

"Your family is so very Irish," Parker says, chuckling, "Molly's the redheaded cousin, right?"

Cora rolls her eyes, "Very funny. Gets oh so funnier every time. Nate around? I need to talk to him about my schedule."

"Not yet," Parker replies, before getting cut off by a shout.

"Cora!"

Both women look up as Hardison bounds over, scooping up Cora in a tight hug.

"Don't ever leave again! I've been stuck with this one and her new boy toy for the past month. They're just one big bundle of sarcasm and moon-eyes and flippy hair!"

"I need air, Allie!" Cora gasps against Hardison's tight hold.

Parker snorts, "Allie."

"Hush, woman," Hardison scolds, "Our prodigal barmaid has returned. She can call me whatever she wants. For today."

"Aw, Allie, you missed me!" Cora teases, before circling suddenly to Parker.

"Boy toy? Is it that piano player you were telling me about?"

"Ooooh," Hardison says, waggling a finger as he slinks away, "Ooh."

"Don't say anything!" Parker calls after him, glad Eliot isn't visiting her at work tonight.

Hardison just waves a hand behind him dismissively.

"Spill!" Cora demands.

Parker rolls her eyes, "You're being such a girl. Stop it."

"Whatever," Cora huffs, "Now tell me about the boy toy, Miss 'leaps out windows after one night stands.'"

"That was only once!" Parker defends.

Cora just waits.

"Fine," Parker says, leaning against the bar with her arms crossed, "His name is Eliot. He likes me, I like him. The end."

"Oh, come on," Cora says, "Is he cute? Is he good to you?"

Parker grins before she can help it, trying but failing to conceal the softness she knows is showing on her face.

"Yeah," she admits, "he's really good to me."

"And..." Cora trails.

Parker laughs, "Yeah, he's pretty cute. I'm sure you'll meet him eventually, whether I like it or not."

Cora just shrugs, "It's my responsibility as your best friend and co-worker to make sure that the men in your life don't need their asses kicked."

"Nate already does that," Parker pouts, "It's a wonder I ever get laid around here."

Cora smirks, "Speaking of which..."

Parker grins widely, "Amazing."

"Lucky," Cora sighs, "do you think piano man has a girlfriend?"

"Nope," Parker says, laughing, "But I don't think you're exactly his type."

Cora frowns, "What's wrong with me?"

"You have a vagina," Parker says bluntly.

"Ohhhh."

"Yeah," Parker's tone is sympathetic, "I was disappointed, too."

"Hey!"

Parker looks to find the man himself standing beside her, and amused expression on his face.

"How do you always do that?" she asks, "I didn't even know you were playing tonight."

He shrugs, "It's a talent. And I'm not playing, just came for a drink. Got my eye on the brunette in the corner booth."

"But..." Parker trails, noting the definite female qualities of said brunette.

He just grins, "Don't know what you've heard, but I like women just fine."

"You're bisexual, then?" Cora asks.

"I'm an equal opportunist," he replies, cheesy smile flashing white, "Now if you don't mind, I have a bad decision to make."

The girls watch as he walks away, shaking their heads.

"I changed my mind," Cora says, "You can have him."

"I don't want him," Parker says, wrinkling her nose, "Plus, I have a boyfriend."

"Rub it in, why don't you?" Cora says, scowling.

Parker laughs, "Let's get you a drink, Nate won't be here for a few hours anyway."

"Good plan!"

.

.

"Hey, El?"

Eliot looks up from his laptop, wire rimmed glasses slipping down his nose. Parker takes a moment to appreciate the sight of him in his pajama pants and nothing else, set up in her bed like he's always belonged there.

"What are you working on?" she asks, hesitating.

Eliot indulges her. "Just putting together some business plans for the new tire line."

"There are business plans for tires?" Parker asks, genuinely curious.

"There are business plans for everything. Now, what did you really want to talk about?"

Parker sticks out her tongue at him, but moves to stand beside the bed anyway. Eliot closes the laptop and places it on the nightstand before tugging Parker's hand until she gives in and crawls into bed, settling next to him with her legs stretched out beside his.

"I like when you wear glasses," Parker says, but Eliot just laughs.

"Come on, Parker. It can't be that bad. Just talk to me."

Parker sighs, "Fine. But look, it's OK to say no, alright?"

Eliot rolls his eyes but nods, "I understand."

"I like when you're here," Parker says, shrugging.

Eliot waits for her to expand on the statement. When she doesn't, he gives her an imploring look.

"I jumped out a second story window once, after I slept with the drummer from some shitty alt-rock band," she blurts out.

Eliot looks even more confused.

"Cora thought I was dating Kressley," she tries.

That gives Eliot pause, "I thought Kressley was gay?"

Parker makes air quotes, "He's an 'equal opportunist' apparently."

"Hmm," Eliot says, "That's probably good. I think the gay community would kick him out for some of those shirts."

Parker snorts, "They really would."

They sit in comfortable silence for a moment, just leaning against each other in the stillness.

Parker finally speaks, quietly, "You should move in with me."

"What?" Of anything Eliot could expect, this wasn't it.

"See?" Parker sighs, "This is why I didn't want to say anything. I know it's only been a month, and you don't want to move in with the crazy girl from the bar, and ok, maybe my apartment is kinda small, but yours is even smaller, and I have this awesome moon roof, and you wrote me a song!"

Eliot laughs, "Was that supposed to make sense?"

Parker pouts, "Yes. Jerk."

"Crazy, crazy baby," Eliot sings quietly, wrapping an arm around Parker and pulling her against him. "How about we try this again?"

"Ok," Parker agrees grudgingly.

"Parker?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I move in with you?" Eliot asks, lips twitching with contained laughter.

Parker rolls her eyes, "If you insist. But I must warn you, I will expect lots and lots of sex in return."

Eliot laughs, throwing his head back with the motion, and Parker wants nothing more than to bury herself in the sound. She settles for resting her head on Eliot's chest, listening to the muffled thump of his heart.

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Parker's talking with Cora behind the bar when a tall, dark haired woman approaches, a question clear on her face. Parker vaguely recognizes her as the woman who Kressley unsuccessfully tried to take home a few weeks ago.

"Are you looking for.." Parker smiles and begins to talk, but the woman cuts her off.

"Is Eliot around?" she says, smooth English accent surprising Parker.

"No," she says, "He only plays on Thursdays. I can tell him you were looking for him, though, if you want."

The woman nods, "Please do. I've got a new number, so if you wouldn't mind, just give him my card."

Parker accepts the shiny rectangle of paper and waves the stranger off with a half smile, unsure why the whole interaction had made her skin crawl.

"What was that about?" Cora asks, coming over to peer at the card in Parker's hand, "Who's Sophie Deveraux?"

Parker's eyes go wide as she looks down at the card, realization dawning.

"Sophie is Eliot's cheating ex-girlfriend."

Cora whistles, "Damn, that's his ex? Boy does well for himself."

"Not helpful, Cora," Parker spits out, anger visible in her eyes, "How dare she just walk up to me and expect me to be a good little messenger!"

"Breathe, girl," Cora soothes, "I don't even think she knew who you are."

"Doesn't matter!" Parker says, practically growling, "What does she even want? She nearly broke Eliot, and now she just wants to come trotting back into his life like some kind of slutty Bambi? I don't think so."

"Slutty...Bambi?" Cora asks, slowly.

"I'm upset!" Parker defends, "I don't have to make sense!"

"Holy shit, you're actually in love with this guy," Cora says, wonder-struck.

"Not the point!" Parker says, pulling off her apron and throwing it to the floor.

"Where are you going?" Cora asks, kicking the apron under the bar.

Parker grins scarily, "I'm going home to warn my boyfriend that his ex is creeping around. And then I'm going spend the whole night making him forget everyone's name but mine."

Cora looks at Parker with a mixture of shock and pride.

"Well, go on then!" she says, settling on pride, "I'll can handle the bar."

Parker nods in thanks, "If she comes back, hit her for me, ok?"

Cora laughs, "Sure thing. Go home, have great sex."

Parker practically runs.

.

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"Jesus, Parker, I don't think I'll ever be able to move again," Eliot says sleepily.

Parker scoffs, "Are you really complaining about what we just did?"

"Not even a little bit," Eliot says, sighing in contentment.

"I thought so."

Eliot just rubs circles into Parker's back, where it lies against his chest.

After a few minutes, Parker speaks.

"So, are you going to call her?"

Eliot laughs, "I have nothing to say to her, baby. If she tracks me down at the bar, I'll talk to her like an adult, but no, I'm definitely not calling her."

Parker yawns, "Good answer."

"Go to sleep, darlin'" Eliot murmurs, closing his own eyes.

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Eliot supposes he shouldn't be surprised to find Sophie in the bar a week later, but he still is. What shocks him more, however, is the fact that's she's talking to Nate, who is looking down at her like she hung the moon. Eliot groans, he knows that look all too well. Shaking his head, he makes his way to the stairwell, where Sophie has Nate entranced, knowing he may as well get this over with.

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Parker appears at this side as he walks, and he doesn't even think, just grabs her hand in his as they walk over to the stairs.

"Sophie," he greets coolly, as they reach the talking pair.

"Eliot!" she grins as she turns, smile no less dazzling than he remembers.

But it's different now. She's still beautiful, damn near perfect, but all he feels when he looks at her is a waste of two years of his life.

"How's Tara?" he asks, unable to stop the dig.

Sophie, to her credit, looks properly ashamed for a moment. "She... we aren't together anymore."

"Imagine that," Parker mutters, not quite quietly enough.

Sophie turns her attention to the other woman, "And who, exactly, do you think you are?"

"I'm the one who makes Eliot happy," Parker replies, barely resisting the urge to stick out her tongue.

Eliot steadies himself for a potential war, but to everyone's surprise, Sophie just smiles sadly.

"I'm glad," she says.

Nate makes a move to leave, but a look from Parker freezes him. He supposes she wants witnesses if anything goes down.

"What?" Eliot says, at a loss for words.

"I didn't come here for a fight," Sophie says, shrugging one shoulder gracefully, "I came to apologize."

"I... what?" Eliot says again.

Parker leans and whispers into his ear, "I think she's serious."

"I am," Sophie says, "And I can still hear you just fine. We're only a foot apart."

"OK," Eliot says, finally, "OK."

Sophie stands for a moment, fidgeting.

"This is your cue to get with the apologizing," Parker says.

Eliot smirks at Sophie's surprised expression.

"Very well," Sophie says, "Eliot, we weren't really happy, you had to know that. It was fun and all, but it was never going to be forever. Tara was..."

"This is apologizing?" Parker asks, "She kind of sucks at it."

"She can hear you," Sophie huffs, "And alright, fine. Eliot, I'm sorry. I really am. We don't have to be friends, you don't even have to ever talk to me again, but you need to know that I really am sorry, and I never wanted to hurt you."

Eliot is silent for a full minute before he finally nods.

"Apology accepted," he says, "But if you try to start any trouble..."

"I wont, honest," Sophie insists, raising her hands in surrender.

Eliot nods, before pulling Parker closer and wrapping his arm around her waist. Together, they walk away from the past.

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A few hours later, Parker tries to speak between the kisses Eliot is distracting her with, but isn't having much success.

"Halt!" she says finally, giggling when he freezes mid-kiss, lips stuck in a silly pose.

"What?" Eliot groans good-naturedly.

Parker looks to the corner booth and gestures for Eliot to do the same.

"Should I be concerned that your ex girlfriend and my boss seem to be getting along way too well?"

Eliot stares at the pair for a moment before turning back to Parker.

"Yeah, probably."

Parker sighs, "Awesome. Except, you know, not."

"Hmm," Eliot muses, as he takes another look, "I know Sophie pretty well, after two years together, and I know when she's fake flirting. And that isn't it."

"So?" Parker asks, scowling in the brunettes general direction.

"So," Eliot explains, "Sophie, even though it ended badly with us, isn't actually a bad person. Selfish and oblivious, definitely, but she has a good heart in there. Somewhere."

"You're too nice," Parker grumbles, though she has to admit that Nate looks happier than she's seen him look in ages.

"You love me," Eliot replies, pressing his forehead into hers, both closing their eyes and losing themselves in the intimate moment.

"You love me," Parker counters, moving to nip at his earlobe.

.

The moment is interrupted by a loud fake cough, and they turn to see Hardison standing there, dressed up in dark jeans and a nice button up shirt.

"Listen," he says, "You love him, he loves you. Y'all love each other. Now shut up and tell me if I look OK."

Eliot laughs, "You look fine, man, now go away."

"Shh, El, Hardison has a date!' Parker says excitedly, "He's dressed all pretty and everything!"

"Who with?" Eliot asks, tucking Parker into his side to stop her bouncing.

Hardison just looks at the floor silently, clearly embarrassed.

"What.." Parker asks.

Her question is answered a moment later by the arrival of Cora.

"Damn," Eliot says before he can catch himself, as he takes in her short green dress, showing off her smooth, shapely legs.

Parker ignores his reaction in favor of staring openly at Cora and Hardison.

"You two? Really?"

"Shut up," Cora and Hardison say in unison, before chuckling at the occurrence.

Parker grins, "You guys are adorable. Go, have fun. I'll tease you both later."

The budding couple walks away, fingers barely brushing as they go.

They make it nearly to the door before Parker can't help but call out one last piece of advice.

"Remember to use a condom! I'm not ready to be an aunt!"

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Eliot just laughs at the horrified expressions on their faces.

"Crazy, crazy baby," he sings, resting his chin on Parker's shoulder, as he drapes himself around her.

Parker grins and sings along, "and you're mine."

.

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THE END

Again, I don't even know. Hope you liked, :)