Bleach one-shot

Semi AU
Rated: T
Disclaimer: ByakuHisa would have waaaay more moments if I owned Bleach, believe me.

- The Blog -

Lolchick wrote at 5:32 p.m., August 30th:
Title: OM EFFIN' K.

Nonononononnonooooo! Matsu-chan, if you read this, please make sure to mark my grave with, "She did not mean to pants Byakuya-sama." PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE. I really didn't, honest! Not that I say… no! Bad Hisana!

Anyways, you know what happened today? I pulled my teacher's pants down… I pants'd the hottest teacher in Karakuri High School. Now, on this blog here (that I write on courteous to my shiny new laptoppy love!) I might seem like a hyper active dolt that speaks her mind, but at school, I am The Nerd. Not just a nerd, The Nerd. You know, the quiet kid that gets bullied, like, every second. Yeah. 'Tis moi (learning French this year, yay! Trilingual!). Yes. Anyways, the French teacher is impeccably hot (as I've said before). He is literally the hottest teacher you'll ever meet. Okay. Maybe not. But I think so! ;D His name is Kuchiki, Byakua-samaaaa. Sensei. Kuchiki-sensei. He has the most gorgeous silver eyes a girl could get lost in… and his hair. Do not get me started on his hair.

Kyaaaaa~ his hair is sooo pretty! It goes down to his shoulders and his bangs, ooooo, his bangs are like those emo kids but not really! It's so shiny and sleek and midnight black and I want to run my fingers through it…

Huh. Wonder what the school officials would think reading all the blogs written about Byakuya-sama. I wonder if Byakuya-sama realizes how popular he is?

Anyways… today was pretty normal. Until French I, that is. I was running late since someone –coughRANGIKUcough- wanted to stalk another someone –coughICHI-CHANcough-… and, well, I ran into the room screaming my apologies… okay, not really screaming… but, yeah, well, I tripped. That stupid troublemaker that sits by the door tripped me. And, of course, my arms fall out and I try to grab something that might help me keep upright. As the fates would have it, I grab Byakuya-sama's pants… and down they go. Woe is me…

He has a nice bum. :D

No, BAD Hisana!

He wears light blue boxers that match his pretty scarf. :DD

Really BADBADBAD Hisana! Stop thinking about your sensei!

Well, some people might be wondering how I pants'd him so easily? Today is the day of the fencing tournament, and Byakuya-sama happens to wear black sweat pants and the school's fencing shirt (that shows off his yummy pecs) on the days the fencing team goes to tournaments. (Mental note to self: join the fencing team.)

I should be glad I didn't get a detention slip to fill out since he says he knows accidents happen. My hero! ^w^ Matsu-chan swears it's because he was checking me out the other day and must like me. But who'd like – especially someone like him – me? I am The Nerd. I've no curves. That's all guys want, right? I'm as skinny as a stick, but I'd much rather have… say, Rangiku's body type. Now, she's got some curves. But Ichi-chan doesn't seem to notice… or so Rangiku says. I think it's all in her head. He is so taken to her it's not funny.

Well, I'll type tomorrow if I still am living.

Comments:

Bringinsexybackbetch: Lol, you crazy, girl. Hey! You're so wrong, Ichi-chan doesn't like me like that! And I was not stalking him!

Lolchick: Thanks. Just wake up and smell the roses, Rangiku! Remember those grade school bullies? He beat them up for you later the night they beat you up! He's so taken with you. Yes, yes you were.

Bringinsexybackbetch: NP. He did? Aaaawww, Ichi-chan is so sweet. But I disagree. NU-UH.

Lolchick: Yeah. You didn't know? YES-HUH.

Bringinsexybackbetch: No. D: NU-UH.

Lolchick: YES-HUH times a google!

Bringinsexybackbetch: Lol, you're such a nerd… but you're MY nerd, betch!

Senbonzakura: It's good to know I have a nice bum, Kiyomizu-chan.

Lolchhick: … O/O

Bringinsexybackbetch: … A-ano…

Senbonzakura: What, you do not believe I am who I say I am? Then look at my profile picture.

Bringinsexybackbetch: … Hisaaaaaa-chan, you dead now.

Lolchick: -flails then dies-

Senbonzakura: D:

Bringinsexybackbetch: O.O

Lolchick: ?

Senbonzakura: :D Yay! Nii-chan's favorite student no die! Nyuk nyuk nyuk, I'm nii-chan's sister little, Kuchiki, Rukia. I attend primary! Hee! You not know my trick!

Lolchick: … Butbutbut… he'll now know…

Senbonzakura: … Ohnoes. D:

Bringinsexybackbetch: …

Lolchick: How did you know my name? And your English…?

Senbonzakura: Lololol, nii-chan talks highly of girl in his wallet. Photo is same. Google Translate. :D

Lolchick: O/O –flails and dies again-

Senbonzakura: Nooo, Kiyomizu-nee-chan! D:

Little did Hisana and Rangiku know, Byakuya was actually the one typing, chuckling quite evilly to himself with Rukia wondering in the kitchen what on earth he was chuckling over.

"Just a year, Kiyomizu-chan, just a year. Then you're not my student and I can legally pursue you."

A/N: Lolwut? I wrote this forever ago, and Pretty in orange convinced me to post this. If your brain broke, I'm terribly sorry.