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Micheal entered the Point alone. Altair and Ezio waited for him down the path, out of sight of even a less than casual observation by another Assassin. Through the distance Micheal could feel the presence of the Apple, his Apple. During their journey from Philadelphia Altair and Ezio had explained much to him, about the Apple and other artifacts like it, and those who made them. They also expanded his sight of the world beyond the war against the British or the current war with the Templars. He'd been right. The men were terribly wise and had much to teach him. He doubted they'd ever run out of wisdom. Altair had it now. He said no hands, not Templar or Assassin could possess the Apple, even if it would only work for Micheal now. He would keep it safe for him.
The Point was familiar to him as he led his horse, not Clipper, through the buildings. He did not head to the seat of the Mentor however but headed towards his own home. Altair had said that they would give them till sunset, which was in a few hours. But after he had to come back to them, if he didn't, they would leave him.
He practically jumped off his horse when he stopped in front of the familiar building that was his and Sarah's home. He stood before the door, staring at it, a slight wash of anxiety washed over him and then he knocked. He knew he shouldn't. It was his home! But he felt disconnected from this world now.
The door opened slowly, "Hello?" said a familiar voice as it did so. Micheal surged forward and he swept Sarah off her feet before the door was even properly open. She gave a startled cry and then he set her down. "Micheal?" she asked breathlessly and without answering he kissed her. She kissed him back with all the passion she could muster. Micheal's own heart did not flicker with the normal affection he would have felt for her. His heart was more like a stone in his chest.
He pulled away and she cupped his face, a brilliant, beautiful smile spreading across her face. There were a few more gray hair in her hair, but she'd been going gray early like her father before her. "Hello my love," he said though inside he felt nothing. He cupped one side of her face, his other arm around her waist.
"I was afraid you'd never return," she said and she glowed. "The den leader in Philadelphia said the others were dead," she did not stop smiling though, she was so happy he'd returned to her arms.
He almost choked, "I am here now," he said stroking her face with his thumb.
"Have you seen the Mentor yet? He'll want to hear from you."
"No, I haven't. I don't plan to."
"Why?"
"Why would I go see him when it would mean leaving you?" and he reached up to stroke her hair.
"You're silly," she teased him and kissed him again. "But I have amazing news Micheal."
"What news?" he asked softly and every moment he was here he felt the life being squeezed out of him as though he couldn't breathe.
"I'm pregnant," and she took his hand from her hair and pressed it against her belly. He hadn't noticed before now, but indeed her stomach was slightly swollen. "With our child." Micheal's breath caught in his throat. Then he exhaled with a smile, though he knew it was pained. "Micheal? What's wrong?" she asked.
"Nothing," and he pulled her close and pressed his face into her neck. "Nothing is wrong. I am so happy," and he was, he was sure he was happy. Wasn't he? He couldn't even be sure because all he felt was a great, yawning emptiness within him. "I love you so much," he told her, holding her tightly.
"I love you too," she said and stroked her fingers through his hair. Micheal kissed her neck, her jaw, her cheek, her lips and willed the feeling into being. It was less than an echo of what he'd once felt, of the joy and passion he should be feeling now. "Why are you crying?" she asked, holding his face in both hands.
"Because I'm so happy," he said.
"Oh Micheal," she smiled and wiped the water from his eyes.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?" now she was confused.
"I love you Sarah," and even as he said it all he felt was an echo of his passion. "I love you more than anything in this entire world, you know that don't you?"
"I suppose," she said almost reluctantly and he realized he might be scaring her.
"I am also so happy you are pregnant," hie felt hollow. A part of him knew that if he stayed with own apathy would push Sarah away and he would never truly love his son or daughter. He could see any future here laid out before him, and it was dismal and cold and alone and he'd constantly be chasing the feelings he longed to have, the ones he wanted so desperately to have back. "I just want to be with you forever, even if you're still that stubborn girl who refused to stay in Pittsburg," she gave him a helpful smile. "I want to grow old with you and raise our child and live in a free world without the British or Templars to control us. But—
"But?" she asked him anxiously.
He closed his eyes and felt more tears trickling down his cheeks. He hated this. He hated that even, as much as he loved Sarah, that he knew he loved Sarah, he did not feel it stir within his breast. "I am not the man who left you those months ago," he said softly, holding her face.
"What does that mean?"
"It means I… cannot stay here. I cannot do all the things I want to do with you in my life. I am sorry Sarah. I cannot stay here."
"Tell me," she said firmly, amazingly together even as Micheal felt himself falling apart. "Tell me why you can't stay with me."
What would Altair and Ezio say? Would they condone his confession? Would they rebuke his weakness? He didn't know, he was not wise like them. He was just himself, and his emotions weren't to be trusted, for he did not have any. He decided not to lie to her, but he could not tell her the whole truth. She'd never believe him. "I have met some of our brothers," he said softly. "They are great men and want me to become one of them."
"That is excellent news then, yes?"
"They said I couldn't stay here. They wait for me beyond the Point."
"But Micheal, what about us?"
He bowed his head, "I am sorry Sarah. I have to leave," and he pulled his hands off her.
"Don't go with them," she said grabbing his lapels.
"I have to," he whispered. He looked up, "I love you so much, and because I do, I'm leaving you."
"No!" she cried even as he tore her hands from him and ran back out the open door. "Micheal!" she yelled after him as he scrambled up into the saddle and kicked the horse into a swift run. He heard her call after him again, but he didn't look back.
He charged out of the Point, the men manning the gate called out to him to slow down but he did not heed their words. All he could feel was the beating of the horse's hooves on the dirt road that matches his heart's pounding. Adrenaline rushed through his body, telling him to flee, to go and fly away as though wings were on his feet. Even as he rode he still felt nothing. Not for leaving his wife, not for abandoning his family, not for lying, he could not even feel the warmth of her touch on his skin, and only the memory of her lips remained of her kiss.
Eventually he slowed his horse and slipped from it's back feeling boneless. From the trees dropped two pale shadows. "Micheal?" Ezio asked, "Is everything all right?" and Micheal clung to his horse's bridle, as it was the only thing currently keeping him vertical.
"Have you ever done something that hurt someone you love, but knew it was for the better?" he asked in a hoarse whisper.
The two exchanged looks, "Yes," Altair replied.
"Than why do you ask me such stupid questions!" he yelled at them both before turning away in shame and pressed his face into the warmth of his horse's neck.
"What do you feel?" Altair asked carefully.
Micheal did not answer for several long moments. "Nothing, I feel nothing," he finally spat wretchedly.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Altair at his side, he felt Ezio on his other. "You did the right thing though."
"That does not make me feel better."
"Nothing will. This is why we said for you to not come
"Lets be away from here," Ezio said, Micheal nodded slowly. "It will do you good to be away from here Micheal."
He took a deep shuttering breath. "Do not call me that anymore," he said, feeling the words echo through his bones and body.
"But that is your name," Ezio said, confused.
"No, it was my name," he said slowly and looked at the bearded man. "But Micheal died. Back in the church. I am not Micheal. Not really. Micheal had a big heart, I don't even have one at all. I don't deserve to wear his fade."
"Then what shall we call you?" Altair asked, unlike Ezio he did not seem confused by his request, but took it in stride instead. He had a feeling Altair was like that, not allowing bumps to stop him, but simply flowed over them.
He looked up and across from them sat one of the many hawks that called the area around the Point home. It stared back at him with cold yellow eyes. They did not feel, for the hawk was a hunter and did not need things like love or fear or hate, or joy. It was a perfect creature, designed to hunt and kill. On either side of him he felt the other two were like the hawk as well and knew that they would teach him how to stay alive and how to refrain from going Under or having to suffer the Waking hunger. They were hawks too and he wanted to be one. He knew he wasn't Micheal anymore. He'd told Ezio the truth, Micheal had died in the church, there was nothing within him that had been the loving, compassionate, and passionate man with friends, with a wife and a child on the way, a man with a future in the Order. He had none of those.
"Hawk," he said, and looked at Altair, "Call me Hawk."
"All right Hawk," Altair said and patted his shoulder, "Lets be off, there is much to do, and I have much to teach you," he held out the Apple. That's what Altair meant, about the Apple. He knew more about it and the Pieces of Eden than anyone. He would teach Hawk how to use it.
"You ready?" Ezio asked.
"Yes," and he nodded.
"Good," and Ezio went to get his and Altair's horses. They mounted up and Ezio set off in a light canter. Altair motioned to Hawk and kept pace with the younger man as they rode away from the Point. He felt nothing as he left the only life he'd ever known and felt no compulsion to look back. Micheal was gone, all that was left was a Hawk.
-fin-
WELL! That was fun! For those who read Flocking Movement you'll of course recognize this character now, if you didn't before! I thought it was important to learn Hawk's real story since Desmond isn't really privy to it which resulted in this story right here. It's also shows a much different dimension to Hawk's character than we see in FM which I think is also important as he's kinda just... the tech guy for most of the story.