Note: Well, here's a fic I've intended to post up here for months. I've got twelve chapters written already and I'll be putting up one every day or so until I catch up. I'm going to warn you that this fic is dying... so I'll admit I'm hoping for lots of reviews to boost my love for this story again... It's barely started by chapter twelve and I really want to share all I have in my brain with you peoples! Hopefully the slow pace won't scare you away...

And since I'm sure everyone will want to know~ despite the way things look the first few chapters this will one day be ZaDr.

...

After watching "The Dog Whisperer" on the TV with Gir, Zim had gained quite a bit of grudging respect for that human. He took the filthy dog beasts and made them into better slaves; he made them want to be better slaves. It was fascinating; they had no such profession on Irk and he wondered if he shouldn't try the same thing once finally back on Irk to impress The Tallest... but with slaves, of course, rather than stinking dogs.

His first test would be with Gir: that little robot was far too hyperactive; though he wondered if Gir even had a point where he could actually be tired. Nevertheless it was a start, and once he got the hang of it he would try to train Dib-stink properly.

Calm and assertive... he reminded himself as he prepared himself for phase one of his plan, "Gir, come here." he called out, wondering just what the little bot was up to. After the show Gir had run off to... do whatever it was he did in his spare time; this, Zim realized, could be his first test if the robot didn't want to obey.

Thankfully it was only seconds later that he heard the reply of metal feet against the floor, "Hugs!" Gir cried, leaping at his master for a surprise embrace. For a moment Zim was stunned but he put the human's technique to work. With sharp, glove-covered hands Zim tried to 'bite' at the little robot's arms with his claws.

Zim was rewarded with the little robot dropping the short distance to the floor. Curiously, teal eyes looked up at him: so far so good, "Gir, I'm taking you for a walk like a smelly Earth dog."

Gir giggled far too happily and clapped his metal hands together, "Can I be a poodle?" he exclaimed about to spin off in search of such a costume when Zim reached out to 'bite' him once more. Gir responded amazingly by dropping against his metal butt and tilting his head back to look at Zim from this strange angle, "You're walking on the ceiling, Master!"

Zim ignored the comment, sometimes his 'advanced' SIR unit annoyed him beyond even the sting of water on his flesh... but Gir was really the only company he had on this dirt ball planet. There were some strange things the little bot did that he would continue to accept so his life would retain some sense of sanity... and besides that, he wasn't too fond of being deemed a 'danger to the mission' by his own servant, "Wear your normal disguise, Gir! I can't suddenly have a different dog!"

Following Zim's words Gir hopped to his feet, he gave Zim a salute before hopping into his costume and wiggling around as if to get comfortable. Zim frowned for a moment before extending an item from his Pak, he took it in his three-fingered hand before grabbing Gir by one of his fake ears; the alien snapped the collar around the little robot's neck and then grabbed the leash firmly in the other hand, "Alright, Gir, wait here while I get my disguise on." Zim dropped Gir to the floor so he could insert his contacts and adjust his hair.

All the while Gir was giggling with excitement, "I's gonna get a sammich!" he decided before rushing off. Zim's wig went flying as Gir's leash yanked off of his hand; he yelped from the force of the pull, his thin legs struggling to catch his balance before he hit the floor with a groan. Zim stayed where he fell, his sharp teeth nearly grinding into his gums before the human's Mexican accent reverberated through his head.

Calm... assertive...

Gir, of course, had forgotten about the walk upon opening the fridge; he'd already scarfed down the sandwich and was loading his small arms up with muffins, tacos, and shoes that mom-bot had put in the fridge. Zim stepped over and opened his mouth to berate him before remembering that Gir rarely listened to words, anyhow; and, aside from that the human said that dogs could become more excited by sound. Gir was just like a stupid dog-beast that could talk... and was built with superior Irken technology; there wasn't enough of a difference for him notto go with the human's information.

Bending down Zim snatched the leash and tugged it to the side; Gir's head turned to him briefly but the sound of a shoe hitting the floor consumed his short attention once again, "My shoe!" Gir wailed, he reached for it, only to be stopped by another tug from Zim. Aqua eyes started at Zim longer this time, confusion evident in their mechanical depths; but without a command Gir turned and shoved a muffin into his mouth.

If Gir could choke he would have from the tug that, once again, drew his attention to Zim. Puzzled the little robot tried very hard to figure out what his master wanted; he loved his Irken master and he wanted to help in any way he could... but—

"I wanna play with Mary!" Gir cried, forgetting about the food and footwear with a messy plop; he rushed to the door. Through the mess he'd made he dragged Zim before coming to a halt at the door, he reached for the handle only to be jerked back by a dazed Zim. Gir fell back, sitting like a dog for a moment before once again looking to Zim. His hyper energy begged him to jump at the door again or to run around the house before watching some TV... but Zim wanted something and he could only guess what, "Did'ja wanna muffin, Mastah?"

That question finally prompted a verbal response from Zim; Gir was calm enough to pay attention... maybe now he could issue an order and have it followed? "No, Gir, we're going for a walk, remember?"

"Walk!" Gir chirped excitedly. He was about to hop to his feet when Zim's tug stopped him; already the Irken seemed to be mastering the timing, though Gir's attention remained as short as ever, "Can we buy matching 'His' and 'Hers' stuff? I wanna hat!"

Zim didn't bother with correction as Gir actually seemed to be asking him rather than demanding or deciding on his own. Sighing, almost with relief, Zim shrugged a bit, "We'll see, Gir." He stepped up to the door, preparing to claim it as his own; Gir, however, seemed passive, he hardly noticed the door as it cracked open.

With the little robot actually showing patience, Zim took his time to put his wig on once more before stepping through the open door. Despite his best efforts Zim couldn't help but feel the dread creep up on him, just what was he thinking? Gir would be running about in no time screaming about something and drawing human attention. For now, however, Gir simply followed him out of the house and down the street.