A/N: Okay, so I'm gonna start off by apologizing. I didn't mean to stay off for as long as I did, but I've been real busy with school and band that I barely have time to do anything anymore. What's worse is this month is competition month, so it's gonna be even harder for me to update. I'm glad I finally got this one up though. I've had half of it written for what seemed like forever, and I was finally able to put an ending to it. I hope you guys enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush at all or the songs "Crying for Me" and "You'll be in my Heart."

Crying for Me

"I'm gonna miss that smile. I'm gonna miss you, my friend. Even though it hurts the way it ended up, I'd do it all again. So play it sweet in Heaven 'cause that's right where you wanna be. I'm not crying 'cause I feel so sorry for you. I'm crying for me."

It was a small ceremony, twenty people at the most. All of the people closest to Logan were in attendance. His three best friends and their families, who Logan had considered his own family since the day he met them, were unsurprisingly the first to arrive. Even some of Logan's friends from the Palm Woods were able to fly to Minnesota in order to attend his funeral. Grandma Mitchell had died a few months before her grandson's life was taken away.

The funeral was to be held outdoors, just the way Logan had wanted it. Everyone was standing together in a circle, Logan's casket taking center stage. Unlike the night of his death, there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Minnesota was unusually bright and sunny the day of Logan's funeral.

The cruel irony made Kelly sick to her stomach. When Kendall called her to explain why they weren't at rehearsel, the talent scout couldn't believe what the blonde was telling her. Logan was killed in a car accident a few days ago. We're sorry we didn't tell you sooner, but you understand, right? The funeral's Monday at noon in Minnesota. We know it may be hard for you to do, but Logan would want you, Freight Train, and even Gustavo to be there. Please, Kelly? Can you at least try to come? The words were said in a rush, but Kelly had heard every word. She nearly broke down three times while trying to respond to Kendall's plead. She eventually calmed herself down enough so she could inform Kendall that they would be there, and she made sure that they were.

At first, Gustavo had refused to go because he was too upset about the entire situation. He didn't show it very often, but he enjoyed working with his "dogs." They were like the sons he never had and to learn that one of his sons had been killed hurt Gustavo more than anything. Kelly knew that Gustavo actually did like the boys and used it to her advantage when she finally convinced him that they had to be at Logan's funeral. Gustavo held his head down for the majority of the ceremony. It was too painful for him to see Logan's casket knowing that his sixteen-year-old body was lying inside of it.

Freight Train, on the other hand, didn't need convincing. He had always liked the boys, and Logan's death had definitely shaken the big man. On the outside, he remained calm and collected, but everyone knew that was just a front Freight Train was putting up. When he thought people weren't looking, he would allow a couple of tears to fall silently down his face.

Stephanie, although she wasn't that close to Logan, had showed up for the funeral to offer her condolences. It was also no secret that she had a crush on Carlos and seeing him in so much pain hurt her. She just wished there was something she could do to make Carlos feel better.

Of all the Big Time Rush boys, Logan was the closest to Guitar Dude. They had instantly clicked on a level that no one really understood, and the whole Hollywood fever incident only stregthened the odd bond that the two of them shared. The mellow musician refused to cry at his friend's service - "Crying only makes way for stress and heartache," serving as his explanation. However, anyone with eyes could tell that Logan's passing had effected him in ways none of them could comprehend. He provided background music by strumming sad songs on his guitar, and it was obvious to the mourners watching him that his hands were shaking the whole time.

Although Logan and Camille weren't even dating at the time of his death, Camille felt as if she had lost her soulmate. The method actress queen cried but not the usual loud, obnoxious crying that she used to book acting jobs. No, she was sincerely crying: sobs that shook her shoulders, tear tracks running down the length of her face, quiet whimpers every now and then. Her heart was broken by the death of her on-again-off-again boyfriend.

It killed Jo to see her best friend like that. Katie was the one who had called Jo and told her about Logan's death. It's your decision, but Logan would want you to be at the funeral. Not for him but for Kendall. Jo had thought about Katie's words long and hard before eventually asking for time off to attend the funeral and comfort her ex. Jo was granted time away from her movie in New Zealand to attend the funeral, and as she looked at the people standing around her, she quickly spotted her ex-boyfriend, Kendall.

Kendall was standing silently in the middle of James and Carlos. The three boys had run out of tears a long time ago, and besides Gustavo and Guitar Dude, they were the only ones not crying. Kendall managed to keep his word to James and didn't bother the other boy once. When James showed up a few minutes behind schedule, Kendall didn't harass him about it, even though he was angry about James's inability to show up on time. He looked at each of his friends and wished he could be the same Kendall Knight he was before this whole incident. The Kendall Knight who was stable enough to protect them and comfort them, not the Kendall Knight who had cried himself to sleep the night before.

James stared at Logan's casket in complete silence. During the wake the day before, the coffin had been opened, and James could hardly tell that his friend had been involved in a car accident. Besides the multiple lacerations on his face and the gray-ish tint to his skin, Logan didn't even look like he had been injured during the wreck that took his life. Maybe Logan died peacefully. James looked over at his other two friends and could see the hurt clearly written across their faces. It made him feel bad about being a jerk to them lately, and he knew Logan wouldn't want his three best friends to be fighting at his funeral. James, deciding to be the bigger man, moved from his spot beside Kendall to stand in the middle of him and Carlos. He wrapped an arm around the shorter boys and gently brought them closer to him, sighing at the warmth that radiated off of them.

Carlos glanced up when he felt a pair of arms pull him into a tight embrace. It was James. He had Kendall attached to the other side of him. Carlos smiled sadly at them and laid his head on James's chest, listening to his friend's steady heartbeat. He wished he could still listen to Logan's heartbeat. Carlos hadn't been able to look at Logan when they opened his casket. It was too hard and much too real for Carlos to handle. Just a few days ago, there were four of them. Now there were only three. It just didn't feel right.

Beside Kendall, James, and Carlos were each of their families: Jennifer and Katie Knight, Brooke Diamond, and Robert and Sylvia Garcia. They each wanted to stay strong for their sons and brothers, but they had reasons to grieve over Logan's death as well.

Katie was taking the funeral fairly well. She had managed to go through the five stages of grief quickly and with very little damage to her mental and physical state. She only briefly tried to deny the fact that Logan was dead. The day after Kendall had spent the night in her room she became angry, yelling at her older brother for letting Logan leave the night of his death. The bargaining stage was almost non-existent, for Katie didn't like to seem desperate, even to God himself. Her depression went as quickly as it came, leaving the final stage: acceptance. Of everyone at the funeral, Katie was the only one who truly accepted the fact that Logan was dead. Although it hurt her to admit, she knew that Logan was gone and that he would want them to carry on happily with their lives.

Even though Logan was technically only her son by adoption, Jennifer had always considered Logan to be her own son. He was born three months after Kendall, and Jennifer had instantly taken a liking to her best friend's child. Joanna knew how much her friend loved Logan, so she named Jennifer his godmother in case anything were to happen and no one else could be there for her son. Mrs. Knight was in hysterics at Logan's funeral, her only comfort coming from James's mother, Brooke.

It was no secret that Brooke Diamond always got what she wanted, but even the CEO of Diamond Cosmetics was unable to bring the beloved Hortense "Logan" Mitchell back like she wanted to. She wasn't in favor of crying but seeing her son in so much despair was too much for her. Seeing as James already had friends to comfort him, Brooke settled for bringing comfort to Jennifer Knight and the Garcias. She had one arm protectively wrapped around Jennifer while the other one was draped securely over Sylvia's shoulders. The three mothers stood as the mirrored image of their sons.

As Sylvia Garcia stood beside Brooke with Jennifer on the other side, she was suddenly taken back to six years ago when they were in their sons' shoes. Although they had been given many more years with Joanna than the boys with Logan, it still hurt when their best friend was taken away from them. Sylvia was empathetic towards the boys. She knew how it felt to lose a best friend, and she felt for her son. He was in so much pain right now, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

Robert Garcia stood alongside his wife, holding her hand and trying to console her through his own tears. He glanced over at Kendall, James, and Carlos to make sure the boys were okay. Because none of the other boys' dads were present for various reasons, Carlos shared his father with his friends. The boys, especially Logan after his own dad died, have always looked up to the police chief as a father figure. Officer Garcia blamed himself for not being able to do anything to ease his boys' pain.

Guitar Dude played a variety of songs throughout the ceremony, but the one he was currently playing pulled on everyone's heart strings. James, Kendall, and Carlos instantly recognized as "You'll be in my Heart" by Phil Collins, Logan's favorite song. When the boys were little, they would talk about their funerals and what they would want to happen. One of Logan's wishes was to have his three best friends sing Phil Collins's most heart warming song as he descended into his grave, and that's exactly what they did. The three of them stepped forward, holding each other's hands as Kendall began the first verse. He was the protector of the group, the one that held each of them just to make them feel safe again.

Come stop your crying

It will be alright

Just take my hand

Hold it tight

I will protect you

from all around

I will be here

Don't you cry

For one so small,

you seem so strong

My arms will hold you,

keep you safe and warm

This bond between us

Can't be broken

I will be here

Don't you cry

James and Carlos joined him for the chorus. It didn't feel right singing together though. They didn't have their fourth voice. The voice that, despite what others believed, held Big Time Rush together.

'Cause you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart

No matter what they say

You'll be in my heart, always

Carlos started to cry gently as he began the next verse. People always said that Carlos and Logan were the exact opposite of each other. While Carlos was always happy and so desperately naive and reckless, Logan was careful and intelligent and always thought about his actions before carrying on. Despite how many people believed that, Carlos and Logan always thought that they weren't that different at all.

Why can't they understand

the way we feel

They just don't trust

what they can't explain

I know we're different but,

deep inside us

We're not that different at all

And you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forever more

Once James noticed Carlos's tears, he gently squeezed the Latino's hand in an attempt to comfort him. James started the bridge of the song on the verge of tears himself. He thought back to middle school when Logan was constantly teased for being a "nerd." Kendall and Carlos were great, but it was James who encouraged him to ignore all of the haters because as long as they had each other, everything would be alright.

Don't listen to them

'Cause what do they know

We need each other,

to have, to hold

They'll see in time

I know

When destiny calls you

You must be strong

I may not be with you

But you've got to hold on

They'll see in time

I know

Kendall and Carlos's voices reaccomponied James's as they sang the rest of the song together. Logan's casket was slowly being lowered into the ground.

We'll show them together

'Cause you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forever more

Oh, you'll be in my heart

No matter what they say

You'll be in my heart, always

Always

When Logan's casket had finally made its full descent into the ground, the boys broke down once again. Kendall, James, and Carlos collapsed to the ground, clinging to each other and sobbing into each other's shoulders. Their loud, desperate cries caused the rest of the mourners to sob hysterically as well. Even Gustavo had been pushed too far. He hugged Kelly and dug his head into her petite shoulder as he cried for the first time in public. Sitting down his guitar, Guitar Dude finally started to cry as well.

Officer Garcia was the first to step toward his fallen sons. He laid a hand gently on Carlos's shoulder. Carlos lifted his head, which caused Kendall and James to raise their heads as well, to look at his father. They each looked so vulnerable, and the police chief almost didn't want to leave them alone, but he had a feeling that was what they needed. "We're gonna leave you boys alone. We'll be waiting in the car whenever you're ready."

The boys nodded and barely registered the fact that their friends and families were saying goodbye to them and leaving the graveyard. They wrapped each other in a threeway hug and continued to sob enlessly, none of them noticing the brunette standing behind them and watching over them protectively.

Disclaimer: Once again, I apologize for not being on as much lately. Hopefully, that will change after competition season is over. I hope you guys enjoyed, and as a welcome back present, I would love to get some reviews. :D