A/N: When I watch the By the Sea scene in Sweeney Todd DBoFS, I always think: Hey! i wonder what Sweeney is thinking during all of this? he keeps a straight face through the WHOLE song! Sooooo I decided to write his thoughts as Mrs. Lovett sings about her dreams! Warning: bad jokes about the seaside and the price of beachfront property ahead! Have fun reading this! XD
P.S.: The italicized words are the lyrics and the regular font words are Sweeney's thoughts...just wanted to clear that up :)
And: I don't own Sweeney Todd or By the Sea...Stephen Sondheim owns this lovely little tune ;)
Oh Mr. Todd! *kiss*
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did she just kiss me?
I'm so happy *kiss*
She's only happy 'cause I didn't move when she kissed me!
I could *kiss*
Could what? Kiss me again? I think not.
Eat you up, I really could!
She better mean baking me into a meat pie and eating that.
You know what I'd like to do, Mr. Todd? *kiss*
Yes. And I don't want you to elaborate your wants to me.
What I dream *kiss*
Don't go there Lovett, Don't. Go. There.
If the business stays as good?
Please say buy me my own house away from you.
Where I'd really like to go,
OK! Back to being concerned about the direction of this musical outburst!
In a year or so?
New plan; get away from this baker in less than a year.
Don't you want to know?
NO.
Of course
Do you really want to know?
Not. At. All.
Yes. I do.
By the sea, Mr. Todd, that's the life I covet,
Oh thank god, plot twist!
By the sea, Mr. Todd, ooh, I know you'd love it!
If it means less nonsensical babble from you, sure.
You and me, Mr. T, we could be alone
Whoa there! You better not mean what I think you do Lovett!
In a house what we'd almost own,
Level of concern is still heightened
Down by the sea!
Yes, we've already established the whereabouts of said house, thank you.
Anything you say
Wouldn't that be smashing?
Not as smashing as you not living with me.
Think how snug it'll be underneath our flannel
Our? Im NOT sharing bedding of any kind with YOU.
When it's just you and me and the English Channel!
I will throw you into the English Channel; hope you can swim. NOT.
In our cozy retreat kept all neat and tidy,
I will mess it up just to piss you off!
We'll have chums over ev'ry Friday!
Like hell we will! I hate people!
By the sea!
Located where my new soon-to-be personal hell is.
Don'tcha love the weather?
No, I like clouds and rain.
By the sea!
Again; personal hell.
We'll grow old together!
Not if I have a say, which I know I wont!
By the seaside,
Why not a frontal view of the sea you stupid woman!
Woahh
Whoa is right! Beachfront property is expensive!
By the beautiful sea!
*pouts* don't care how pretty it is, I still wont go!
It'll be so quiet,
Once I strangle you
That who'll come by it,
Hookers, once you're outta the picture anyway…
Except a seagull,
No, they aren't allowed. Only hookers.
Hoo, Hoo!
Is what you'll hear from the window 'cause I'm just THAT good.
We shouldn't try it,
That, I agree with.
Though, 'til it's legal for two-hoo!
Well lets hope it's never legalized.
But a seaside wedding could be devised,
With WHO? ME?
Me rumpled bedding legitimized!
SEXUAL INNUENDO DETECTED! RAISE THE ALARMS!
Me eyelids'll flutter,
No they wont, I'm SO not touching you.
I'll turn into butter,
So I wont kill you? Now what do I have to look forward to?
The moment I mutter I do-hoo!
You forgot the not in that exclamation. It's called spell check. Use it.
Down by the sea,
Stop saying that, im running out of witty comebacks!
Married nice and proper
1: we are NOT getting married. 2: You're SO not proper!
By the sea
Is where your death shall be
Bring along your chopper
chopper is such a crude word, and my razors are beautiful! I take offense!
To the seaside hoo hoo!
You've said sea/seaside how many times? 11. Its getting annoying.
By the beautiful sea!
Correction, 12. That last time was just to bug me wasn't it, Mrs. I'm-Really-A-Psychic-But-Didn't-Tell-My-Roomie-About-It!
And There you have it! Sweeney's unspoken thoughts about his landladys dreams! hope you liked it! reviews would be loved lots :)