Disclaimer: I do not own Ruroni Kenshin or any of the characters that are mentioned from the Ruroni Kenshin series.

Moonlighter

"Konbanwa minna-san. Welcome to 95's Jingo's Session. Where we talk real issues in real time. I'm your host Jingo and the topic of the day is 'Loneliness: How to deal.' Before we start I'm going to play 'Endless Night' by HALCALI."

The red light shut off.

"Jim, I'm going to the bathroom."

"Hurry, you're on in three."

"Yeah."

The room was dark, with only the soothing cyan lanterns that she preferred to have around as mood lights on in the booth. When she came back she sat at the long glass table and put her headset on.

Jim stood outside the clear sided glass and raised his hand signaling the countdown even though she could hear him in her head. "Three, Two, One. Go."

"Hey guy's I'm back. If you're just tuning in, this is Jingo's Session. The topic of today is 'Loneliness: How to deal.' We'll start by defining loneliness. Remember guys, you can call in on our lines at…"

The words came naturally; she had been here long enough that they were smooth and sultry coming from her lips. Once she'd been told that she was 'The Voice' of station 95. No doubt that she was flattered and rightfully so, because she had been there for seven months practicing the talent. So here she was, the mysterious 'Jingo'. Student at a local college by day, eccentric radio show host by night.

It wasn't a hard transition. In fact, she thought of it as rather freeing. At one time she had hated the radio station. She had hated the fact that she needed to have a job at this achy run down workhouse to keep herself in the financial clear; especially since then she had been working as an errand girl. But as her love for the little radio house grew, so did her status, and now here she was Jingo, 'The Voice' of Station 95. Of course the ratings had gone up after she had started participating in the 'Talk' segment of the daily program. And now her salary was just a bit higher and she was totally comfortable where she was.

She was happy. Kaoru Kamiya was happy.

"So we're winding down, one more caller and we're calling it a night folks."

The phone line rang, and she pressed the pick up button.

"Hi caller, you're my last for today, what's on your mind?"

"I was wondering..." a soft and strangely still voice sounded in her headset.

"Yes…"

"I was wondering if I should make this leap."

"Pardon? I'm not sure I heard correctly."

His unerringly calm voice spoke again. It sounded as if he wasn't there at all she thought, even though she could hear his voice right in her head.

"I'm standing here, on the ledge on this bridge, and I wonder if I should make this jump."

Kaoru quickly signaled her cue man away when he pointed to his watch behind the glass. "N-no… no. Don't do that." She saw a glass wall, a falling body in her mind's eye.

"Why?" It was all he said and there was silence.

Her heart rate spiked and she all but shout into the mic. "Wait. Wait. I-I can't… I can't… "

He chuckled, though it sounded forced and she could hear the harsh blowing of the wind in the background. The cruelly melodious sound of moving water.

"It's ok. I don't expect that anyone would know how to answer such a question. After all, you don't even know me, how could you understand?" His voice was quiet in the way voices were. It had an almost raspy quality to it.

"No. Wait-I… I… you shouldn't do it because… because you have an opportunity here. Yes. An opportunity." She steadied her breathing. Here she was not weak, fragile, troubled Kaoru. She was Jingo, self-assured, confident, sassy night time hostess. She could save a life without panicking, without her lungs closing; she could face death without her heart doing back flips and without nausea assailing her.

"I can't say what someone else would think but I…I think that… I think that the moment you consider ending your life, that you have started a new one. You have the opportunity to fix the things that cause your sadness. I know that some people find that some things are worse than death, but if you plan to leave all of it behind in death, why not do the same in life? Make yourself happy. Be someone that you weren't before. Why waste the life that you can do so much with."

She sighed. It didn't feel as if she were convincing him.

"I don't know, I guess… you should live your life not only for yourself, but for others. The ones that you could meet not now, but in the future; those who will be affected by your loss of life later on. Those who you would not have the chance to make smile later on."

There was a long silence before he spoke again in that soft voice of his. "…How can I make a difference when all I have caused is destruction to the lives of those that I know? How can I do anything? I am not innocent. I do not bring happiness; I bring sorrow to those I know, to those I care for,"

Kaoru looked over at Jim, watched him frown, watched as the lines on his brow creased. Her reflection shone back at her in the cool light of the booth. Could she do this?

"I can only tell you to try to repent for your wrongs. It is a process that we all go through, some just don't know it. Continuous cleansing for our wrongs is the only way that we can live with ourselves from day to day. We all repent in some way. Some in big ways, using their money, things that society deems as great, but it is only to make us feel better when you come down to it. There is nothing wrong with it; nothing wrong with helping others for whatever motive, but in the end, it is only because we feel guilt for the things that make us different, things that we may not have even had anything to do with. We feel guilt for having more, for living better, for being born who we are, what we are."

There was silence.

"Hello? Are you still there?"

"You are very wise Jingo-dono. How could it be that I find such an answer where I thought there would be none at all?"

She shook her head at the new formality. "I know some don't believe, but… I believe that Kami has purposed everything in this world, even the things that we think that we cannot stand."

He chuckled and she could hear the sadness in its depths. "The forest here is beautiful." He looked around for a moment, taking it in. Then he closed his eyes and let his head fall back with the wind. "You must see it someday Jingo-dono. The river, smooth, silver like the moon."

"Maybe I will." She looked on as Jim hit his watch again, signaling that she was over clock by ten minutes. Hana would be angry for the delay no doubt. It wouldn't matter to her if she had saved someone's life or not. Maybe repentance was still out of the reach of some.

"I have to go, but I would like you to call a helpline." She rattled off the number. "I'm sure you could find someone to help you there, but they can only confirm your worth." She smiled. "I believe in you Mr…"

"My name is… its Bob." He chuckled again and this time so did she.

"Well BOB, maybe… maybe Kami will have us meet someday. So I can make you smile."

"That would be nice Jingo-dono. Is that the name of your new life?"

"Yes, in some ways it is." Her smile widened. "Goodnight Bob."

"Oyasumi-nasai Jingo-dono. Thank you for saving me. Boku no tenshi."

"Hello?" She closed her apartment door. "Simon?" The blow came before she saw it and she slammed into the kitchen table.

"It's Saturday night, where were ya'?"

Her head spun, a kitchen chair loomed above her head dancing to the screaming noise in her head. "Sim…Simon.."

"Where were ya?" His mouth hovered over hers as he straddled her and grabbed her chin tightly. She could smell the familiar stink of alcohol on his breath. "You were supposed to be here thirty minutes ago."

"Simon I… I…I had to go on a last minute run. One of the producers sent me... sent me to get him…"

SLAP

"You sleeping around on me then?"

Kaoru pulled at his hands. "No… No Simon…" She started to cry. "Iie Simon. Onegai, onegai! I was only getting him some coffee from the Starbucks! Onegai!"

"You're a lying whore. I should of listened to me da when he told me so."

"Onegai Simon! Itai!"

"Oh it hurts? Well I'll show ya what hurts." He pulled at the buckle on his pants and yanked his trousers down. The sweaty red hair on his head glistened in the kitchen light. "While you're out partying and having a wee little time, you think that you can come in here and fool me? Well I can have a wee time too ya sassy-mouthed whore."

He pushed aside the underwear she wore under her skirt, shoved himself into her body; her scream was shrill and piercing. "Iie. Iie!"

His hand went around her throat and he squeezed, taking glory in the way she weezed. "Keep quiet! Quiet I said!" He moved it to cover her mouth as he braced himself with the other and thrust harder as he strained towards the ceiling with his chest.

Eventually all she could stand to do anymore was stare at the ceiling as her silent tears fell. What did she do to cause this? How had she ended up here? Simon had seemed like such a great person, the buff but cute Irishman that sat in the back of one her business classes. Quiet, slightly possessive but only the amount that any girl wanted her man to be right? The ceiling was peeling again. She should have asked Keiko to come over and help her paint. When would she get that done? It would take her forever to find that same colour paint.

She felt his body go slack over hers. He had passed out. It had never been this bad before she thought as she dragged herself from out under him, shoving him onto his back and straining to keep herself steady while she stood. It had never been this bad for him, or for her. No, she could never tell him that she was a host. One of his many talents was extreme jealousy. He wouldn't be able to accept her job. He would try to make her quit, and he was oh so much stronger than her, so much stronger.

She stumbled into the bathroom and switched the radio on, turned it to blast on high and listened to the American station that she had found a few weeks back.

Things are getting out of control

Feels like I'm running out of soul

You're getting heavy to hold

Think I'll be letting you go

Think I'll be letting you go.

Translations:

Oyasumi-nasai – Good night

Boku no tenshi – My Angel

Itai – Ouch, it hurts

Iie – No

Onegai - Please

There it is guys. The first Chapter of Moonlighter. I'm sorry about TGPS, I really think that I may not be able to finish. It was too disorganized and it was really stressing me out trying to finish it when the plot isn't solid at all. I'm very sorry, but thank you for reading this! I hope you read and review!

Additional disclaimers – Letting go is a song by Lupe Fiasco and Endless night is a HALCALI work of art, I own neither, they are just mood music, it would be cool if you listened to it while reading this chapter maybe.

"Remember reviews keep them authors from doing stupid things like… eating chocolate covered pickles." – anonymous

G&T