Title: Freedom

Word count: 610

Pairing: Kurt/Blaine pre-relationship

Genre: Romance

Warnings:None

Summary: Kurt writes in his diary in a coffee shop, observing Blaine

I peer over at him over the rim of the mug of coffee, through the dense fog, and see him tired. Tired of hiding, containing himself over nothing in situations that did not require so. Of biting his nails with worry. Of sighing over the perspective of what was to come and what would happen if his plans did not come true. He is slowly but inexorably losing it, as they so often said. He looks desperate for a way out, for the weight to be off his shoulders.

The navy blue blazer suddenly doesn't seem to fit him anymore. Seams threaten to rip themselves apart and expose whatever was within.

I put the coffee mug down on the table a bit too loud. Is that necessarily a bad thing? He is himself around me, not his composed persona but that fun, out-going guy with an endless supply of energy that I find myself falling heads over heels with. And I want him to be happy, even if the poor fellow is a bit oblivious. I want him to be his dorky, romantic and sometimes wild self; that one side of him that could surprise me with bursts of songs, playful banter and warm, human touch. Human, yes, because he too falters. He sometimes does the wrong thing, little mistakes as well as big ones. And he has dreams.

There are many times I catch him staring out of the café's window, lost in thoughts. Maybe he isn't lost at all. Even now, as I write this little thing in my journal, his eyes wander the grey sky like they are searching for something intangible, something not even I, as a kindred spirit ( as he had once proclaimed me to be), can gather. He looks really special right now; special in the way that he resembles an ordinary boy full of extraordinary features. An ordinary teenage boy who is afraid of heights and loves Harry Potter. Hates Chemisty, though he's good at it, but adores History. He can write cheesy poems and turn them into love songs that somehow turn out not to be cheesy at all, but is afraid of performing them, as if they are too personal, too intimate. He has, of course, a beautiful voice, but he can get, sometimes, a bit too cocky about it. And he has this blinding smile that manages to shake me to my core, but he doesn't use it on anyone else.

Inside the school grounds, with others who are not so close to him like Wes, David, Nick and Jeff are, he is someone. With me and my friends, he is another person completely different. Well, who is it then? Who is the true him?

I like to believe the second one is absolutely real and his true self. And my heart wants it to be because of me but I know that if that very heart beats for him at all it is because the Blaine I know is genuine.

And I find myself grasping for his hand, wanting to take it in mine like he had all those months ago- that feel like years, actually, and help him like he has helped me.

He is asking me now what I am doing, what I am writing. I say it is about him with a smile. He doesn't believe me and tells me to finish up since lunch hour's almost over. I consider him briefly and decide. First I must remove him from his pedestal and jacket. Rip off his tie and drag him alongside me, like equals. Because, just like he knew then, I know what he now needs.

Freedom.

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