It was only when she closed her eyes to sleep that the memories came. That is why Storm had decided not to sleep. It was easy enough at first. Years of stake outs and round the clock surveilancing at one point or another had made the process of losing sleep manageable. She was still alert enough to teach all her classes and if she continued her increasing caffeine intake she was sure she would be ok. An extra cup of coffee for every week she went without sleep.

The first time she had began seeing things was about a month into her regime. They started as shadows at first, dark figures in the corner of her eye that always disappeared the moment she turned around. As time went on they grew faces, blurry ones at first but as of yesterday resembled that of her tormenters, that of sabertooth. Now she barely even blinked. For the bags around her eyes she had taken to wearing makeup. Leaving her hair in a bun had taken out the energy consuming task of doing it and overloading herself with work had taken the place of thinking, today would be no different.

Slowly making her way through the school Storm willed her throbbing head to keep the world around her from spinning. Even with having already drunk a full pot of coffee on her own she could feel the exhaustion creeping in on her. When she was sure no one was looking she slapped herself hard relying on the shock of the pain to keep her awake. It jolted her for only a moment but was not nearly enough.

Every time she felt herself drifting she could feel it all happening again. Hard hands on her thighs, claws digging into her exposed flesh and large fingers being shoved down her throat to the point where she gagged. The voice was the worst of it however. Deep and menacing demanding things from her, things she could never say let alone think about. If she thought about it too hard she knew she would break, but keeping her secret was becoming harder and harder, especially when it came to those she loved.

Pausing in front of a window she looked down at the open courtyard to see Logan passing by below. Sensing her eyes he paused before looking up and offering her a kind smile that faded when he saw that his was not returned. Looking away Ororo shook her head. After all this time he was still waiting for her. Looking down at the ring on her hand she felt a familiar lump in her throat begin to grow. They were to have been married that past fall. Something she had been dreaming of for longest time until IT happened.

Biting her lip Ororo forced down yet another sob. Now she couldn't even stand the sight of Logan. His kind eyes, his gentle touch, she didn't deserve any of it, that's why she had moved out of the too perfect apartment they had moved into together only three months before. She had moved back in to the institute and completely against his character Logan had decided to follow her. "Why" she has asked him once when they were alone and to which he had said "Because I cant stop loving you that easy. As long as it takes" he had said. "As long as it takes" she spoke to herself absently

Since Wolverine's confession Storm had started ignoring him completely. At one point she had even began sending girls in his direction. She wanted him to move on to find someone worthy of his love but for some unfathomable reason he was sure it was her. Looking up to the darkened sky Ororo sighed. It had been an unusually gloomy season but she knew she had herself to thank for that. Above the institute thunder cracked as the woman slumped to the floor in the empty hall. "Please" she whispered as the familiar sting of tears began to fill her eyes. "Please just leave me".