Leah POV

With one last sigh Rose finally gave up and walked out of my room as the door clicked shut. I finally opened my eyes. It wasn't that I didn't want to see and talk to Rose, god you have no idea how much I wanted to, it was that I couldn't. It hurt too much. I knew if I let my guard down and spent quality time with Rose that once she left I'd still be here and I wasn't sure if be strong enough to put my walls up again. It was easier with mum and Jake because I was so hopelessly angry. But Rose was one of the few who had tried to get me out, who fought for me. The truth was I needed my guards and walls, it was the only way I could get through this and I decided the moment I arrived here, that I would get through this. Although i my darkest moments here I'll admit I wasn't sure I wanted to.

Taking some deep breaths and lightly shaking my head to clear my thoughts I mentally started listing my aches and pain. The bath Rose gave me, whilst gentle, felt like liquid fire being dripped into every pore, but that wasn't why I screamed after all I was more then used to physical pain. I used to love baths especially hot ones with lots of bubbles. But after months of only having water used as a 'treatment' device the moment I felt my body being submerged I was forced to relive every moment, every single session. Worse still I had fought hard against the prospect of having a bath the whole time I had been here. Now I was clean and I knew my security blanket had been taken away, with as dirty as I was I knew no man in here would try to get close to me, unless of course it was to deliver some more treatment. Luckily the only thing like that to happen to me in here was the kisses from Doctor Car, I'm not sure that once all the other types of torture they used on my became boring that they wouldn't resort to that.

So just like after every session I took stock of my injuries. Starting at my scalp, my hair was no longer stuff and stuck but instead hung down annoyingly glossy and smooth. There was a spot near the centre of my hair that felt to hot no doubt from the antiseptic wash. I could vividly picture all the time my head had been pulled up by my hair and could only imagine how much hair was missing. Great I was a 22 year old Menopausal shape shifter, who was now missing chunks of her hair. It seems weird that with all thing considered I cared about my hair, but it had always been my pride and joy.

Next was my face, my right eye felt especially tight which led me to believe it was definitely swollen,

My nose mercifully was pain free. It had been broken one of the first days here but Dr C had thrown a fit. Making it clear no one was to cause permanent damage to my face. It was the only injury that had been inflicted on me that actually received treatment.

My lips whilst not damaged were definitely chapped and cracked. But I guess the salt treatment they liked to use will do that. If you can call putting copious amounts of table salt in your mouth and making you keep it in there for hours at a time treatment.

My neck whilst stiff didn't seem damaged.

The good thing about the warm water was it seemed to loosen all the tight muscles making this process easier.

My back felt like it was on fire I knew it was from the burns of the cattle prod, they had purposely had the voltage turned up higher than you would deem safe to use only anything living. Across the centre of my back a little under where my bra sits I could feel horizontal lines of pain which I knew were the result of the lashings I received not too long ago,

My left side was stinging like a thousand tiny needles. I knew what that was from, you see like most other prisoners I needed a way to count the days to prove to myself that I was here I was surviving, when I first arrived I used my nail and scratched the markings into my thigh. It wasn't until my second week here that Dr C announced that he had been watching the cameras and knew what I was doing, I thought he was going to punish me , instead he slipped me the bit of wire and commented that my side would be ideal as no other harm would come to that area and interfere with my count.

Now at the end of every session he inspects my wounds counting making sure I continue one session he noticed I had missed a day he had been sure to let me know , I think he enjoys the knowledge that I have counted the days and know that in all this time no one has come to save me. I'm pretty sure he assumes it makes me feel hopeless, and whilst I hate those tiny lines more times than not I see them as a sign of strength. Every mark I make means I survived for another day.

Whilst Doc had guaranteed no wounds would interfere with my countdown he said nothing about bruises both of my sides hurt and I wouldn't be surprised if I had a few broken ribs. If not broken very bruised.

I quickly took stock of my chest and stomach. Much like my back there was heat from my recent burns. There was tightness from what I'm pretty sure are scabs of my healing wounds. Across the bottom of my stomach was particularly painful I knew for a fact that area was scaped up badly from the rough floor. One day last week I was too weak to walk and no one wanted to carry me so they had literally dragged me to the treatment room, my shirt had ridden up in the process leaving the area a bloody dirt filled mess.

My legs were the worst of my injuries after my freak out with Jake I had instinctively scratched them worst then I ever had, then because they were still fresh when I had my physical activity of the day they hadn't even begun to heal, before mud and god knows what else entered them I was sure they were very infected. With every wipe the doctor made with the antiseptic earlier a bolt of hot fire swept through my body, it was a form of torture on its own.

I had started making small marks on my thighs with my nails when the pain became too much or therapy became too hard, much like cutting myself it was pain that I could clearly identify and focus on. Usually it happened when I returned to my room and I was alone, back home I used to say I'd rather bleed then cry, I had no idea however how true that was, I've chosen bleeding over crying every night when my thoughts are hardest to escape.

Finally were my arms, I'd purposely not felt my various injuries with my hands as I was sure I'd discover quite a few bruises along the way and right now that wasn't what I cared about. My arms although stinging mildly hurt the least compared to every other part of me. So as far as a could tell a lot of scars and cuts but no broken bones.

Part of my command from Sam included not doing anything that may give away that I was not human. My body seemed to take that to mean no accelerated healing. I laughed the first time I realized that an alpha command doesn't just control you movement or words it actually affected the way your body functioned. Sam literally could of commanded me to stop breathing and I wouldn't have a choice. I guess I'm lucky he never figured that out.

It was then I noticed one of my hands was clenched shut. Rolling over so that I could block the cameras. I groaned out loud as my various cuts rubbed against my clothes. I slowly opened my hand.

My door suddenly swung open suddenly to reveal Dr Car. With a small smile on his face he stalked over to me. Crouching down he stretches out his hand.
"Give it here Leah" I knew he was talking about whatever was in my hand, deciding against arguing I wordlessly handed it to him. I tried to catch a peak of what it was but with no luck he put it straight into his pocket without even glancing at it.

Patting my hip gently I flinched as his hand came into contact with a bruise I didn't know was there, "good girl, as a reward for that, there will be no need for treatment today, just your usual session with me then you can come back here."

Closing my eyes and digging a nail into my thigh I took a deep breath, I'd rather the physical pain then the emotional I am sure to encounter. But once again knowing I had no choice, I stood up slowly, and could hear my joints cracking as I did so.

As an attendant tied a rope around both my wrists I added a new injury to my catalogue. It appeared as though I had blisters covering the entirety of the bottom of my feet, no doubt from being forced to run continuously in rubber shoes, the blisters were so much that my feet didn't seem to touch the ground and as I looked down I realized I was right my feet were so far off the ground my toes couldn't even reach it.

I should of know this session was going to be worse than normal. I'd finally had visitors and not just any visitors but my mum, my childhood best friend (who I was secretly in love with) and my best friend. I should have known in a place like this that would be used to cause me more pain. Everything in here cause me pain

"So tell me Leah, which visitor did you most enjoy?" I didn't answer, I knew I'd have to answer his questions eventually. I'd learnt that lesson straight away. This time he didn't seem to care, he instead kept going.
" I guess it's a hard question after all, who could choose between the three people that mean the most to them." I nodded at him whilst spinning my ring around and around. I can't say for sure why they let me keep this but I was grateful this ring meant more to me then my life. I know I should hate Jake for not rescuing me but really I couldn't. I'm not sure what was happening out there but I learnt in here that without hope they win, so I kept my hope alive by lying and convincing myself that Jake was trying that he was going to save me. I'll admit though as the days continued that lie was getting harder to believe. Maybe it wasn't a lie, I knew there was something stopping him, I just knew something wasn't right, if only I could figure it out.

"I must say Leah it was awfully nice of Rosalie to clean you up like that and get you into some clean clothes. I know I like you better like this." I flinched.

"Tell me Leah how does it feel knowing, that if only you could stop lying to us that you could have left with Rosalie today. That right now you could be laughing and talking surrounded by your friends and family. But you're not, instead she's alone probably crying about you, feeling guilty wanting to help but knowing she can't. I'd imagine she's in a lot of pain right now."

Finally his words hit me because I knew what he was saying was 100% true, not the lying part that's been well covered. But that as much as I tried to deny it or avoid thinking about it I knew exactly how much pain Rose was in right now. The thought of her in pain, alone, blaming herself instantly caused tears to run down my face.

Doc watched me and smiled, coming closer he patted my thigh, in any other scenario you would think it was a comforting gesture, but I knew better then that by now, he lent forward and whispered in my ear, "the worst part about this Leah, is that it's your fault" suddenly my silent tears were gut wrenching sobs.

Doctor Car walked back over to our chair and once I had calmed down began our usual questions, whilst I went on auto pilot answering his question honestly inside my head I was fighting with everything in me go break the alpha command and finally say what they wanted to hear. I was fighting internally so hard my vision became blurry, but as usual I couldn't even loosen it and finally our session was over.

Doctor Car came over and reached his hand out to help me stand. Knowing I didn't have a real choice I grasped it standing up he placed a kiss on my unwilling mouth but for once he lingered longer than usual. Pulling away he smiled and said, " I like it a lot better when you're clean. I must insist you no longer refuse a bath."

Then as always he lifted my shirt, counted then smiled, " good girl".

He turned to get the attendants to take me back to my cell but stopped next to me and said, "I am but a tree in your life I love all parts of you. Your happiness is my sunshine and feeds me your tears like water make me stronger. My roots the very fibres that tie us together and keep me by your side as they run deep. You see I am but a tree. And like a tree I will be here for nearly all of eternity you can destroy me and cut me down but you can never find all my leaves..."

He then proceeded out of the room as a shiver went down my spine, it was not the first time he had said that to me but it was becoming more frequent and the tone was so soft some people may call it loving. But they would be the people who hadn't been subjected to any form of 'treatment' based on his orders.