Just A Kiss Goodnight
Set: Orange
Theme: Evil
By: Usagi Carter
Last Revised: March 20, 2013

Summary: Usagi struggles to get past what happened during her captivity with Prince Demando.
Rating: M for adult theme
Setting: R Season
Character(s): Usagi / Mamoru

Author's Notes: Come and visit the multi-fandom message forums that I run with my brother and sisters – Valhalla: Home Of Honored Heroes (see my profile)
Author's Note 2: Okay, so, now that I've completed one from each set, I'm opening it up to you guys. If you want, PM me or leave in a review, which one you'd like to see next ;) Remember, you can view the list by going to my website.

Dedication: To Ang, Baine, Alicia Blade, Loki, Lynette and the countless other friends, fans and authors who've inspired me over the years. And a big thank you to the following people who have reviewed: sailormoon0630, Haruka Minamino, wingedwolf1/FanimeGirl4Ever, tryntee13, TropicalRemix, Bin82501, fan 27 b, CharmedSerenity3, Squirrel holding a bazooka, James Birdsong, Lady Airly, AimlesslyGera, LoveInTheBattleField, Loki, serenityslove, and heaven85.

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How does one know if she has forgiven? You tend to feel sorrow over the circumstance instead of rage, you tend to feel sorry for the person rather than angry with him. You tend to have nothing left to say about it all. - Clarissa Pinkola Estes

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She tried to suppress a shudder as she stood on the balcony of her beloved's apartment, dressed in only one of his dress shirts, surveying the city she'd figuratively, and nearly literally, given her innocence up for. Despite having told the others she forgave Demando for kidnapping her – he was under a spell after all - she still felt a prevailing chill running up and down her spine each and every time she thought of what would have happened had Tuxedo Kamen not intervened when he had.

By silent agreement, neither she nor Mamoru told the Senshi in detail what had happened, only that Demando had her locked in a room and was trying to sway her to be his. She had a sinking feeling that Minako and Rei had an idea, but neither had brought it up. She knew exactly what would happen if any of her guardians, and more importantly her best friends, ever found out the extent of what had happened, or what was in the process of happening when she'd been rescued.

Even through everything they had happen to them when facing Beryl and Ali and An, she had never felt the presence of evil pressing down on her as she had with this latest brush. Beryl and An had only wanted Mamoru to love them, and were willing to kill her to get him. The same could be said about Ail in regards to her, but at a lesser extent. She could fight against that, knowing that his heart was always hers and that her own belong to Mamoru through every lifetime she lived. There was just something so bone-deep chilling though, about Demando's attempt at raping her. And that's what it would have been; it went beyond obsession, beyond him wanting her to love him. She'd never seen Mamoru lose his mind the way he had when he'd arrived at Demando's castle. If she hadn't been there, he'd have killed the Dark Moon prince in cold blood with no thought to the consequences. And what scared her was, she wasn't so sure, deep down, if Mamoru shouldn't have, despite the common sense that kept telling her the Dark Moon prince was being controlled.

She wrapped the sleeves of his shirt around her tighter, her own arms closing around her body trying to push out the lingering essence of what she knew was true evil. She quietly wondered if this is how Mamoru felt each time he'd been made a target of an amorous villain they had to face.

She had never once given thought to sharing her body with anyone other than her beloved. She had always considered the giving of that part of her, that once in a lifetime part of her, to only person. To nearly have it ripped away from her while she was being controlled by someone was horrifying. It was such a special part of any young woman's life, and to know that Demando had not cared whether or not he was her choice was scary and heartbreaking. It was the first time since she'd become Sailor Moon where she'd actually felt fear for her own well being.

"Usako?" his strong baritone was soft, as if he felt she'd flee if he scared her. She knew he was feeling incredibly guilty about having not been able to stop her from having to experience what she had. From the moment they left the castle and returned to the Crystal Palace he'd been watching like a hawk. She blushed a little when she thought of the kiss they'd shared when they'd landed. It was the first time he'd so blatantly displayed his fierce desire for her, and she knew it had been compounded by the fear he'd felt at possibly losing her to Demando.

"Part of me forgives him for it, because he's not acting himself. You heard King Endymion…" she trailed off, remembering the private conversation that they'd had with Mamoru's future self after they'd returned to the Crystal Palace. "But a larger part of me still cannot fathom the pure, sinister evil it takes to force oneself on another person in that way."

Mamoru reached out and pulled her back to his chest, his arms closing around her as he fervently thanked the Gods for sparing her of knowing that type of horror. It was one of the things about her he'd always vowed to protect – her pure and innocent outlook on the world– but he'd come very close to breaking that vow when Demando had taken her. He could only imagine the fear she'd felt when she'd realized just what the white haired prince had had in store for her. He bit his lip hard to keep his rage at bay; Usagi should have never had to lose that part of her innocent nature, should have never had to know exactly what people were capable of. "I'm so sorry, Usako," he murmured, his lips at her ear, his arms squeezing her waist and hugging her to the front of him tightly.

He reared back when she spun around in his embrace, her arms sliding around his neck as she buried her face in the side of his neck. "Mamo-chan?"

"Hmm?"

"You have nothing to apologize for. You saved me, from a fate I fear might have been worse than death," she told him softly, showing him a side of her he very rarely saw, and only then in moments when they were alone. "I want my first time to be with you; it's always been and always be only you."

"Usako…" he was left utterly speechless. On an intellectual level, he'd know that; maybe even on a deeply emotional one too, but to hear her say it out loud, it filled his heart to bursting. "I love you."

She pulled back, her serene, somber expression from early fading away to be replaced by a smile so bright it reminded him of the sun. "I love you too. Will you do something for me?"

"Anything, Beloved."

"Take me inside and make love to me?" She shook her head and placed a finger over his lips to stop the protest she knew was coming. "I know you think it's rash to ask right this moment. I know you think I'm not old enough yet to make that decision, but Mamo-chan I know deep inside, I need this, need you, right now. I want to know that I, of sound mind and body, gave you a part of me I can't ever take back, nor would I ever want to take back. You already have my heart and soul, I want you to have my body too…" she trailed off.

Even if she'd let him verbally argue, the look in her eyes shot down every excuse and reason he could come up with for why this was a bad idea. The strongest weapon against any evil, no matter how dark, was the light and purity of love. He wanted nothing more than to banish he darkness and evil that still lingered around her purity. She was asking as an adult, a woman in love, for him to join her. He could see, just from the look in her eyes that she'd been thinking about this before recent events, but that those events had just cemented her own choices and reasoning. Wordlessly, he bent down and scooped her up into his arms, before carrying her into his bedroom through the sliding glass door.