Chapter Twenty-Four

She has to drag him from the bed. She waits as long as she can, hates to be the one who has to force him out of their little bubble, but eventually she shuffles over until she can turn to look in his eyes. She keeps her grasp on his hand as she softly tells him it's time to hit the shower. He squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head, the tears slipping past his eyes and sliding down his cheeks. She holds Xavier tightly against her with one hand as she awkwardly pushes herself up with the other. Her wrist screams at the angle but she ignores it, focused only on Eric. She shuffles back until she can lay Xavier in her lap, then reaches up and pulls Eric against her, his face pressing into her neck. She fells his tears against her and knows nothing she can say or do will make it any easier for him. She looks down at the little boy in her lap and notices he has drifted off again. She pulls away from Eric, lifts Xavier into her arms and quickly rises. She heads to the nursery and places Xavier in the cot, pausing for a minute to make sure he has settled before she hurries back to Eric.

She finds him exactly as she left him so she heads straight for him, takes both his hands in hers and uses all her might to pull him up. She talks soothing words to him as she guides him to the shower, helps him undress and then follows him under the warm spray. She soothes him with her words as she lathers a cloth and washes his body. Nothing sexual this time, pure comfort. When she is done she pushes him slightly under the water to rinse off while she quickly washes and rinses herself. She then reaches behind him, shuts off the water before taking his hands in her own. Leading him out of the shower she wraps herself in a towel before taking a second one and gently drying his body. Starting at his feet she earns a small smile as she works the towel between his toes before his eyes meet hers as she slides the towel up over every part of him. When he is dry she leads him back out to the bed, her hands on his shoulders forcing him to sit as she heads for the wardrobe and collects his suit. She lays it next to him, and hands him the socks and underpants she collected on the way before heading back to the wardrobe and dresser to collect her own outfit. Laying her clothes on the bed, she ensures she is dry before starting to dress. Eric watches her for a few minutes before standing with a sigh and getting dressed himself.

Calleigh is just finishing her hair and Eric is struggling with his tie when they hear Xavier start to stir. Calleigh heads for the nursery and collects the baby. As she turns to put him on the change table Eric steps up behind her, his arms coming around her waist and taking a soft hold of the baby's feet. Calleigh laughs as she turns and sees his tie undone around his neck, he has never been any good at those things. She turns in his arms to place a soft kiss to his lips then turns back and gets to work changing the baby. As she finishes up with his diaper Eric passes her Xavier's clothes for the day and together they get him dressed. They wander to the kitchen and Calleigh hands the baby to Eric before making a bottle and handing him that as well. She makes them coffee as he feeds the baby, smiling at the gentle song coming from Eric as he watches the baby drink. She offers Eric breakfast and just as she thought he would, he shakes his head no. So instead she sits beside him, leaning against him as she drinks her coffee, watching father trying to let the perfect little man in his arms fill his mind completely and block out the day to come.

All too soon Xavier is finished and both their cups are empty. Together they pack Xavier's bag and settle him in his carrier. When they are ready to head out the door, Calleigh turns to reach for Eric's hand and laughs as she spots his tie still hanging undone down his shirt. She turns him to face her and takes her time tying the tie for him. She fusses over it, makes sure it is just right. The entire time he watches her with his intense, dark stare, his eyes never leaving her. He focuses on her sure movements, the way she flicks her wrist as she ties the silk, the way the tip of her tongue pokes out her teeth as she works, her brow furrowed in concentration. He watches her smooth out his shirt, readjust his collar and fuss with the shoulders of his jacket. He stills her hands with his own. Grips her fussing fingers and raises them to his lips, peppering soft kisses on each one.

"We've got to go," she says quietly.

"Yeah, we do," he replies, the sadness evident in his voice already.

Keeping her hand grasped in one of his own, he reaches down for the carrier on the floor next to him with the other. He walks to the door, pausing for her to open it before they all step through together and she closes and locks it behind them.

He never lets go of her hand. The entire morning he holds onto her as if his life depends on it. When they head outside the car is silently waiting for them in the drive. His father watching their progress out the door realises his son is barely holding it together and jumps out quickly to meet them. He takes the carrier from Eric, covering his hand wrapped around the handle and gently releasing his fingers.

"Let me help you son."

Eric doesn't speak. He releases the carrier and watches his father secure it in the base on the back seat. Calleigh bypasses the passenger door and leads him around to the other back door. She opens it and climbs in, Eric following her. They sit quietly, watching Miami pass them by as the car heads for the funeral home. When they pull up Calleigh feels him still beside her, his hands tensing. She sits quietly, allows him time to gather himself. His father catches her eye in the mirror, sees the slight shake of her head and doesn't move, not wanting to push Eric.

"Babe, we need to get out now," she whispers. He doesn't move.

"I know it's going to be hard, but I'm here for you. Your family is here. Xavier is here. We can do this together."

She can see the distress creeping into his eyes but eventually he nods, leans down and presses a sad kiss to her mouth and then he reaches with his free hand and opens the door. As he steps out his father takes his cue and gets out, walking around the front of the car to get to Xavier's side. He unfastens the carrier and brings it back around to them. Calleigh and Eric are waiting and he doesn't hesitate to pass the baby to Eric. He rests his hand on Eric's shoulder and together they make their way into the funeral home.

Eric's breath catches as they enter the chapel. Standing before him is not only his mother, sisters, their husbands, and his nieces and nephews, but also his entire CSI family, minus Horatio, all dressed in uniform, all standing to attention either side of Ari's caskett. He hears Calleigh startle next to him, clearly she didn't know of this either.

His mother heads for him as soon as she sees him. His father lets her give him a brief hug before easing her off and leading her back to his sisters. Eric catches each of their eyes as he walks forward but they give him the space they know he needs. As he nears the front he catches sight of Ari laying before him and he feels a pain rising from within. A pain he has unfortunately felt before and each time wishes he never will have to again. It's a burning from deep within, his heart shattering. He comes to stand before her, Calleigh strong and silent at his side, Xavier laying quietly in his carrier, sensing the distress in the room. A lone tear tracks down his face, running along his cheek before dripping off his chin, leaving a mark on his shirt Calleigh can't take her eyes off. She reaches out to wipe it away but Eric stops her, instead placing the carrier in her hand. She looks down at the baby, the tiny, beautiful face staring back at her, his long dark lashes gently caressing his cheeks as he blinks slowly.

Eric's hold on Calleigh's hand tightens and she looks up at him to watch him reach out for Arianna. He caresses her face with his free hand, runs his fingers through her hair, cups her cheek. She is cold. The tears fall, now streaming down his face and landing on the side of the caskett. He cannot believe this will be the last time he will ever see her, the last time he will touch her. He doesn't want to let her go.

He doesn't know how he makes it through the service. He's not even sure when he left the caskett and made his way to his seat in the front row. The entire day seems to jump and blur past him. One minute he's at the caskett, the next he's in a seat with Calleigh next to him, leaning against him and Xavier out of the carrier and resting securely against her. He's not even sure how she got him out of the carrier because the one thing he does know is he never lets go of his grip on Calleigh's hand. It's the only thing keeping the last strands of him together. The bits of the service he can remember are beautiful. The music both sad and fun. It wouldn't be Ari without a bit of fun. He remembers Ańa reading the eulogy. He is glad she could do it for Ari, wishes he was strong enough to do it himself but knew he would never even get through the first word.

All too soon the service is over. The funeral director is heading towards the casket, closing the lid on Ari and all the memories that have been placed in with her. Photos of her as a kid with Eric and Marco, her and her family, the entire Delko family with her at Christmas after she moved back to Miami, all the photos of her and Xavier and a little rug of Xavier's that Calleigh cut in half, half to go with Ari and half to stay with Xavier. He doesn't even know how she thought of that one but is ever so grateful she did. He watches as his colleagues step forward and lift her coffin, carrying her down the aisle and out the double doors at the back. He stands slowly, helps Calleigh to her feet with his free hand and helps her adjust the baby up against her shoulder. His family waits for them to follow the coffin before they all file out, the only sound is the song voicing exactly how Eric feels, Jenn Bostic, Jealous of the Angels.

They head to the cemetery. A sad procession lead by one of the team's hummers, the other bringing up the rear. Eric's father had taken the baby from Calleigh and placed him in the carrier he had secured in the back of the car. They once again climb in the back together. At the cemetery Pavel gets Xavier out again but leaves the carrier, Eric needs his son in his arms for this. It is Calleigh's warm grip and the baby's soft breaths on his neck that Eric focuses on as they say a last prayer over the coffin, as the team slowly lower Ari in next to Marco and her parents, as they all throw a flower in the big, gaping hole before them. Eric thought sitting by Ari's bed as she died was the hardest thing he had ever had to do, he was wrong. Turning and walking away from her grave, going back to his life and leaving her in that cold, dark hole was even harder than he ever imagined. He wouldn't have got through it without his family and team at his back,Calleigh at his side and Xavier in his arms.

Standing by the cars his team come up to him quietly, each one giving him a hug, a show of support before they all head back to the lab. The swing shift has covered them for the service but they need to head back and relieve them. Calleigh will have to follow shortly but she has a little bit longer. Eric doesn't want to head back to his parent's place with the family but they don't really give him a choice and Calleigh seems to be on their side. She doesn't want to leave him alone when she heads back to work and she knows if she lets him go home he will lock Xavier and himself away from everyone. So she silently guides him back in the car, catches Pavel's eye and glaces at the baby. Pavel knows exactly what she wants and comes to take the baby from Eric. Eric's grip tightens for a second before he releases the baby to his father, allows Calleigh to pull him into the car after her. They head back to his parent's house and it is as loud and intrusive as he knew it would be. His sisters and mother are all over him, fussing over him and Xavier, trying to lead Calleigh away so they can chat but she doesn't let them and neither does he. He knows he will need to let go of her soon and he is not looking forward to it at all.

He heads for the family room, straight for the large plush sofa. He folds himself into the corner of the sofa, pulls Calleigh next to him as a shield and lifts Xavier's carrier onto his lap. His mother is coming for him with a bottle and he worries she is going to try and take the baby. He sees it in her eyes for a moment but she must realise he won't let it happen, instead she places the bottle next to him on the couch.

"Here Eric. He must be hungry. Let me get him out for you."

She lifts the baby out of the carrier, raising him up to her face, placing kisses all over his cheeks and breathing in his scent. She closes her eyes and pauses for a moment, centering herself before she passes the baby over to her son, settles him into the crook of his arm, placing a pillow beneath to help support him. Eric looks at Calleigh and she knows he is trying to figure out how to feed the baby without letting go of her so she reaches her free hand over and grasps his hand holding the baby in place, wraps her fingers between his own as they come to rest against the baby's backside. Only then does he release her other hand, pick the bottle up and give it to Xavier.

They stay like that for as long as Calleigh can allow. She doesn't want to leave Eric but she needs to get back to the lab. She has already taken longer than she should have.

"Eric, babe. I need to head back to work."

"I know," he answers, though his grip on her fingers gets stronger.

"I promise, I'll come home as soon as I can. I won't stay late tonight. The second the night shift walks in, I'm out of there."

"Thank you," he whispers.

"I love you Eric. I am so proud of you. You have been so strong today."

"No I haven't Cal. It's you that has been strong and gotten me through. I love you."

"I'll see you soon," she whispers as she kisses him softly on the lips, drawing out the kiss as long as she can.

She rises with her fingers still linked in his, holds on until her arm is stretched as far as it can. She heads to the door, Eric's father silently following. She holds it together the entire trip back to Eric's house. Pavel doesn't say anything until they pull up in the drive.

"Thank you Calleigh. I have no idea how you are doing it but you are getting my boy through this. I can never thank you enough for being there for him, keeping him from drowning in this."

"There is no where else I would be right now Mr Delko," she replies. He lets the formalities go for now, he'll work on it another time.

"Be safe Calleigh. Come home to my boy."

"As soon as I can," she promises as she closes the door and heads for the house.

She holds it together as she gets ready for work, as she changes her clothes, heads for the safe and retrieves her gun and badge, as she clips them on and finds her keys. It is only as she gets in the car, lowers the sun viser and catches sight of herself in the mirror that she finally lets go. Thinking of Arianna being gone well before her time, the beautiful little boy she has left behind and the broken man trying to keep it all together has her letting go of the gut wrenching sobs she has been holding in for a week. In the quiet of her car, where no one can see her and no one can hear her sobs, she breaks.