Crippled Heart

She didn't need the pain. She closed herself off from relationships a long time ago after her first lost. At night she still could hear the cries in her sleep.

'Tailgate…!'

Just as she was about to thaw and be more at ease with herself with the help of someone new, he disappeared as quickly as the last.

'He can't be gone… Cliffjumper…!'

And she was frozen again.

They kept on leaving her side. There was no point in getting closer to anyone around her, so why bother having partners. Thus, she built walls around herself, and she build them high and strong. No one could break them, no one could get behind them. No one would get hurt. It was a safe situation. She wouldn't be anyone's problem.

But it didn't mean that she liked it.

If she cut herself off from those kind of feelings… why did she always go back to the one thing she always ran away from?

Despite the nagging thoughts haunting her like a chain and shackle, she saw another new face in her dreams. It felt so wrong to have such feelings for another, that she was going to hurt him, but nothing was greater than the feeling she had every time he kissed her. Every time she tried to isolate herself in the little corner of her mind, she saw him. He gave her a feeling no one ever gave her before… and they were beautiful, joyous emotions. Genuine, pure emotions.

The two sides of her constantly fought against each other. For her to not hurt him and have more loss and terror, or to express her feelings and open up to him. She wanted him to be hers, to kiss him, to hold him… To be there at his side until their sparks extinguished. But she didn't want him to get hurt along the way because of something she did…

And it drained her.

Not only did the overlapping contradictions tore at her spark every time she thought of him. To top it off…

She was in love with a Decepticon.

Note*~

And yes, the Decepticon is Knock Out.

Had 'Bleeding Love' - Leona Lewis stuck in my head yesterday, and I thought it vent my creative flow through this.

[Once or twice was enough/And it was all in vain]

Just SCREAMS Cliffjumper and Tailgate… 8)

Hope it was good! ^^

XOXO