A/N: Hooray for the cliche title! Because everyone knows cliche titles spark interest.~ Yeah. Anyways-! Welcome to the story, everyone! As usual, I hope you enjoy reading my little story! And here's the disclaimer: I DO NOT own Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler) or any of its characters. If I did... Well, that's what this story's for - my fantasizing! ;D /SHOT. Okay. Story begin!~

Oh The Humanity!
Chapter One

He could remember it all like it was only yesterday; that fateful day that he'd made the contract with the being he'd re-named "Sebastian Michaelis". He could relive each and every moment, in fact, in snapshots...

First, there were those eyes - the demon's most noticeable feature. Ever since that day, they'd glowered hungrily, only one target in their sight. Even at this moment, and without the butler's presence, the boy felt a chill shiver up his spin, goosebumps rising on the thin, crossed arms.

Secondly, he could recall the voice, soothing and as smooth as only the finest silk, enticing him, promising him what he'd once considered false hopes. In the spur of the moment, he'd been compelled to say "yes", partially because he was clutching onto the edge of sanity - wanting to believe that this man... No. That this thing could somehow bring his parents back - and partially because he was - dare he admit it? - scared. He was offered an outstretched hand, and he'd taken it. Was that so bad?

No. Ciel Phantomhive was certain that anyone else in his situation would have done the same, given the circumstances...

Suddenly, there was a fierce jolt of dizzying images, of fire, of burning bodies, of those shadowy figures - their jeering smiles - and that hot poker encroaching upon his bare, vulnerable body, and then his world was spiraling all around him. The room that his eyes was seeing, but not really seeing was completely twisted and spinning like some sort of crazy carnival ride.

He was going to throw up.

The boy, panic-stricken, wretched dryly, then clapped one shaky hand to his mouth, the other clutching fiercely at his stomach, as if it could stop the bile that was rising up his throat. He slumped down in his chair, unable to control his disobeying muscles any longer and fell to the floor, gagging once more, and feeling the bile bubble up even further, the sour taste of it filling his mouth.

"S-sebas-"

And then, before he could even choke out the name, Sebastian was there, lifting him into his arms...

When he awoke, his body was hot and... wet? Why on Earth would he be wet?

The memory of a certain pair of crimson eyes danced through his mind's eye, and then the youth's eyes shot open, screaming his butler's name in anger.

But when he realized where he was, he quickly snapped his mouth shut and flitted his eyes down to the bathwater floating in the confines of the white, porcelain tub.

The bathtub? How had he gotten here?

Ciel's body tensed and he mumbled under his breath.

"That Sebastian... He has the gall to move me..." he grunted, "I'll punish him later..." But, despite the irritable words, the boy found himself sinking even lower into the soapy water, his muscles gladly returning to their relaxed state.

It was then that the bathroom door creaked open and in glided the butler, clothes draped neatly over his right arm with a pristine, white towel in his temporarily ungloved hand.

So, he must have already finished while Ciel was passed out. God only knows what he'd done while he was asleep. Stupid pedophile.

The butler had hardly even reached the edge of the tub before Ciel released his string of complaints.

"Sebastian! What is the meaning of this?" the earl demanded, straightening himself up so that he could splash his arms roughly against the water to get his point across. In the process, he'd slopped some sudsy water onto the floor - an added bonus. "What did you think you were doing? I could've drowned!"

Without a word, Sebastian simply bent down, sopping up the splashed liquid with the towel. When he came back up, Ciel's splayed hand came into contact with his flawless face with a loud 'smack!'. Sebastian flinched back slightly, rather uncharacteristically.

Odd. He'd thought that demons couldn't feel pain?

When he withdrew his hand, a searing red print remained, striking in color against the contrast of the butler's pallid skin.

"Well? I demand an answer!" Ciel barked with authority, slightly flustered from all of the yelling he'd been doing.

Sebastian's response, however, was simply to brush a forefinger and mid-finger down his own cheek, then to glance at his fingers with a stunned expression, as if they were something entirely foreign to him.

Meanwhile, the young earl was getting increasingly more agitated. For the demon's sake, he began to fidget with the small, rubber duck that had floated by him, having been drawn toward the pull of his submerged lower body. The boy glared disdainfully at the duck's all-too-cheerful face.

Honestly. Did his butler really think no more of him than just a mere child? Pssh! He'd grown out of those things ages ago!

Ciel let his blue orbs stray from the duck's face to that of his demon butler's. It was, he found, the same as before. The demon looked completely dumbfounded, like a lost puppy.

"Sebastian!" the youth huffed in an attempt to snap him out of it.

This time, the butler blinked a few times, then his amber eyes seemed to re-focus. Even so, though, they still seemed to retain a hint of worried thoughtfulness within their depths; an expression that the young Phantomhive had, not even once, seen Sebastian use after all of the years of serving him.

"I apologize, My Lord." Sebastian finally stated, "But I couldn't have just left you as you were."

This struck Ciel as interesting.

"As I was...?" he repeated suspiciously. It was odd... everything that had happened a few minutes ago was still burned in his memory; just another session of torture, but it was muddied, now. Over.

A faint smile seemed to alight upon Sebastian's face at his master's lapse of memory. Ciel countered this look with one of angry embarrassment.

"What on Earth are you talking about? And-!..." Ciel turned his cheek to the butler, thin brows furrowed, "Quit looking at me like that..." he finished in no more than a mumble.

All this time, unbeknownst to the youth, he was being watched with a calculating gaze. Not that of an outsider, but that of the butler right in front of him. Sebastian was focused, noticing every little detail about his young master's face, every little shift in the muscles.

Currently, the boy was staring at the water, as if he could make it boil by the heat of his glare alone. Hot cheeks, the twitch of a muscle causing his nose to wrinkle, and gaze redirected: All the signs of embarrassment.

Sebastian let out a sigh of relief. So he hadn't found out...

However, it seemed, by making the sigh, Sebastian had attracted unwanted attention to himself.

"Is there a problem?" Ciel asked indignantly, rising up to his feet in the tub. He stood, fully exposed and without shame, in front of his butler. Thin rivulets of water trickled down his skin, giving off a wet glisten.

Sebastian instantly corrected himself, gathering another towel from a nearby shelf and draping it, first, around the young, bony shoulders. His response was, as always, fluid; but he still appeared to be bothered about something.

"No. Of course not, Bocchan.~" he had said, his nimble hands taking hold of the towel resting around the child's neck. Then, with Ciel's suspicious eyes watching him narrowly, he proceeded to shimmy the fabric gently, but efficiently, down the damp body. He took care to dry even the most questionable spots; In fact, he gave those areas the most thorough of all treatments. It would not do, he thought slyly, to have a soggy master, would it?

"Miiiiiister Sebastiiiiaaaaaannnnnnnn!" The scream pierced through the bathroom door before it was even thrown open. The unexpected intrusion caused both boy and butler to jerk their heads in that direction.

In the doorway stood a rather flustered-looking young maid. Her hair was a deep plum color that appeared to be confused as to whether it was a deep shade of red or a bright shade of purple. She was panting and gripping the skirts of her uniform in her fists in worry.

"M-Mister Sebastian, it's-" she began again in a hurry before she abruptly cut off once more, falling silent with hot red cheeks and wide eyes through her wire-framed glasses.

"Yes? What is it, Meyrin?" Sebastian tried, his frown full of curiosity.

But when the maid didn't respond, he noticed her eyes were out-of-focus - going beyond his left shoulder to where Ciel was standing, naked.

"A-ah! I-I-I'm so sorry!" Meyrin panicked, seeming to have rediscovered her voice, "I-I didn't r-realize you two were in the middle of something!" she squeaked, her face growing even redder by the minute.

Sebastian and Ciel stared at the girl for a moment before what she had implied sunk into their brains.

Flushing a brilliant tomato, all the way down to his neck, Ciel self-consciously slipped to the side so that his nude form was shielded by his butler.

Sebastian, in turn, also bore a slight blush, eyes closed and brows twitching irritably. "Don't be vulgar." he finally breathed under his breath, unsettled, "It was nothing like that."

But his words were to no avail because Meyrin had promptly passed out with a massive nosebleed after her embarrassed notion.

Sebastian pressed a hand to his temple in a bothered manner and turned to face his young master. "Interruptions aside..." he grumbled, gathering the clean set of clothes he'd brought for Ciel in his arms. He was just about to slip a rich blue top over the youth's head when Ciel sniffed the air. "What is it now, Bocchan?" he asked. These interruptions were getting rather tiresome, now. Honestly, Sebastian didn't know how much more he'd be able to take.

"It's nothing..." Ciel murmured, holding his arms over his head so that the butler could slip the garment over his head easily, "But... do you smell something?"

Sebastian's pupils shrunk and he jerked up so fast that he almost headbutted Ciel as he remembered the honey-glazed roast he had left to cook in the oven. How could he have been so foolish? Never before had he forgotten something so crucial in all of his career as a butler. Why start now?

"Sebastian." Ciel's voice was plaintive, all signs of good humor entirely nonexistent,"Why are you making a face like that? Is there something that you're not telling-"

"A thousand apologies, My Lord." Sebastian interrupted; something he would surely be punished for later, "Something has come up. I will be back shortly." he said briskly as he left the room, stepping over the recovering maid briskly and hoping above all hopes that the poor explanation would be at least satisfactory enough that the boy didn't feel the desire to pursue him to the kitchen where, he was sure, all hell would break loose...

Meanwhile, it was sufficient to say, Ciel Phantomhive was livid.

"Sebastian!" the youth yelled at the retreating man, his shirt lopsided and his hair a mess of blue-grey, "What are you doing? Get back here this instant!" But it was too late; the butler was long gone and probably out of earshot, even for a demon such as himself.

"That bloody little...-" the earl grumbled sourly, calling the butler all of the (most ungentlemanly) names in the book. He tightened his clenched fist around the neck ribbon he held, pretending it was something more satisfying - say, the demon's neck? "Who does he think he is, running out on me like that? I'm the only reason he has to worry about this manor, in the first place!"

"U-um. Er... Young Master?"

"What?" Ciel snapped, his eyes darting down to the maid on the floor hotly.

The maid gulped, nervous under such a scalding gaze as the young boy's, but she soon managed to form part of a sentence.

"I-I think the r-reason Mister Sebastian left so fast was because... well...-"

"Yes, get on with it!" Ciel prompted impatiently.

"- the kitchen's on fire..."

A/N: Yup. Again. But this time it wasn't Bardroy's doing! A surprise, right? So, this story was originally intended to be a SebXCiel oneshot, but then it turned out to be in chapter form. Meh. My stories have a mind of their own. Anywho, please bear with my slow updating pace and, as always, please rate and review!