So I was working on my story and THIS Happened…
(I got the warblers last names from the gleewiki)
I hate that this site has reduced me to liking these stories but I was bored and wanted to write one.
I had far too much fun writing this – I hope someone finds it funny!
Blaine Anderson is exhausted and his right hand hurts. Where is Kurt Hummel when you need him?
(Noah 'Puck' Puckerman likes this)
- Blaine Anderson: Kurt I promise I was facebook raped!
- Wes Montgomery: Lies!
- David Thompson: Gross Blaine. Keep it to yourselves ;)
- Kurt Hummel: You two are in serious trouble. (Jeff Sterling likes this)
- Santana Lopez: Wanky ;)
- Kurt Hummel: Shut it Satan. (Noah 'Puck' Puckerman and Quinn Fabray like this)
Brittany S. Pierce Oops I did it again!
- Santana Lopez: Are these lyrics or have you done something? xxxx
- Brittany S. Pierce: I sat on Lord Tubbington again
- Santana Lopez: Omg Britt is he okay? xxxx
- Brittany S. Pierce: He didn't even wake up. Too much padding. He's tired because he beat me at 6 games of connect 4 last night :( (64 people like this)
Kurt Hummel is seriously embarrassed he is friends with people who cannot even sit through a movie in peace and quiet!
(Thad Harwood, Mercedes Jones and 3 others like this)
- Nick Duval: Oh come on! The movie was lame! It was funny!
- Mercedes Jones: Seconded. You need to chill!
- Kurt Hummel: No, I have to shower there's popcorn in my hair.
Wes Montgomery Just walked in on Blaine Anderson standing at my computer trying to think of a frape. I shoved him to the floor before he could even post one. (Thad Harwood and David Thompson like this)
- Blaine Anderson: My side hurts :(
- Kurt Hummel: Blaine that's pathetic. You really couldn't think of ANYTHING?
- Blaine Anderson: :(
Artie Abrams Refuses to accept responsibility for running over Sam Evan's feet. They're abnormally big,
- Sam Evans: I'm rolling you down a hill.
- Brittany S. Pierce: That sounds fun, I'll ride on top of you when you do Artie! (Noah 'Puck' Puckerman likes this)
Kurt Hummel to Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: You like everything Puck. You are such a Facebook stalker! (Noah 'Puck' Puckerman likes this)
- Kurt Hummel: Of course. (Noah 'Puck' Puckerman likes this)
Kurt Hummel has had an AMAZING night with his GORGEOUS boyfriend!
(Mercedes Jones, Tina Cohen-Chang and 7 others like this)
- Jeff Sterling: Oh you have a boyfriend. You never mentioned it.
- Nick Duval: Wonder who it is?
- Kurt Hummel: Shut it. I'm happy.
- David Thompson: As is little Kurt.
- Blaine Anderson: It's not little!
- Santana Lopez: Nice going prep school! (Blaine Anderson likes this)
- Kurt Hummel: Blaine!
- Blaine Anderson: Just defending your honour babe! ;)
- Kurt Hummel: I'm trying to decide whether to punch or kiss you right now.
- Blaine Anderson: Awww you know I would never post any personal stuff on here :(
- Kurt Hummel: Okay! Kiss it is! :D
- Thad Harwood: On behalf of all the Warblers we all think you're both nauseating. (12 people like this)
- Kurt Hummel: Well me and Blaine think you can all suck it!
- David Thompson: That's Blaine's job.
- Wes Montgomery: I can't decide if I should 'like that or not David :/…Wait, you're both in the same room? Why do we have to suffer this shit?
- Blaine Anderson: Mouths are occupied ;)
- Kurt Hummel: True. (I like undapper Blaine…)
- Lauren Zizes: Man, I need to get myself to Dalton. Guys getting it on are HOT! (Santana Lopez likes this)
- Finn Hudson: Sorry in advance Kurt…
- Kurt Hummel: What? Finn what have you done?
- Kurt Hummel: Finn?
Kurt Hummel to Finn Hudson: YOU ARE SO DEAD. All of the shit you have EVER posted on here and OF COURSE you leave Facebook open for the entire world to view the ONE time that I have AN INNOCENT ONLINE FLIRT with my boyfriend? Dad just rung me, he read everything!
- Mercedes Jones: The one time? Really?
- Finn Hudson: Sorry Kurt :/ I'm normally careful about that! I didn't mean too! But mum made cake and I was distracted…
Finn Hudson is seriously scared of Kurt Hummel right now.
(Kurt Hummel likes this)
- Sam Evans: Dude, you're scared of the dark. (Noah 'Puck' Puckerman and Holly Holliday like this)
- Matt Rutherford: I miss you guys :(
Blaine Anderson to Kurt Hummel: What did your dad say? Is it safe for me to come over tomorrow?
- Kurt Hummel: Yes you're safe. As long as WE'RE safe and you're treating me right, and we don't rush, and as long as we don't succumb to peer pressure, and as long as I know that if you hurt me dad can run you over and make it look like an accident and as long as I know that both of our feelings matter too much to rush into doing something because that stuff is still good when you're an adult (TMI TMI TMI) so maybe we should wait until then and not rush and do things well regret!
- Blaine Anderson: Maybe I'll come over the day after tomorrow.
- Jeff Sterling: LMFAO I'm screenshotting this for future reference.
Kurt Hummel commented on Tina Cohen-Chang's album 'Day out with Mike!': You both sicken me. All your pictures are so adorable.
- Mike Chang: Thanks! Love you Tina! This was such a great day!
- Tina Cohen-Chang: Love you too! Kurt, You only say that because Blaine never seems to look at the camera in his…
- Quinn Fabray: Considering I went out with Finn, I sympathise.
Kurt Hummel to Rachel Berry: Rachel, you know how you're over-the-top, controlling, short-sighted and completely ridiculous when it comes to your obsessions, particularly with glee club/anything?
- Rachel Berry: Yes. Or, as you could have worded it 'you know the defining characteristics of you being a future STAR?'
- Kurt Hummel: Well YOUTUBE is not the place for New Directions rehearsal videos.
- Rachel Berry Oh my god! The enemy have bee spying on us! (And just so you know, I uploaded them to better critique our performances, believe me you should do the same.)
- Kurt Hummel: I was only trying to help. No need to be your bossy and insulting self.
- Wes Montgomery: Anything on youtube is public domain. I would also like to point out that the Warblers have yet to infiltrate one of your practices
- Blaine Anderson: Best day ever. lessthanthree (Kurt Hummel likes this)
- Rachel Berry: You have inside information!
- Wes Montgomery: That 'inside information' (who for the record tells us nothing of value) just helped you out…
- Kurt Hummel: Rachel just set your videos so only friends can view them or something.
- Rachel Berry: How do I know this isn't some kind of ploy? You're not one of us any more!
- David Thompson: LOL 'only trying to hep' Kurt as if.
- Kurt Hummel: Shut up David.
- Blaine Anderson: What?
- David Thompson: Kurt just doesn't want you to find the videos of him you haven't already seen, I've saved them ALL to my computer though so no worries.
- Blaine Anderson: OMFG which ones haven't I seen?
- David Thompson: Kurt doing a duet…with himself and dressing the part for one. Not to mention one where he is the spitting image of his dad ;)
- Blaine Anderson: I'll be right over
- Quinn Fabray: OOOH! I forgot about that Kurt! I may have some pictures to post soon! (Blaine Anderson likes this)
- Kurt Hummel: FML…and fuck you Rachel.
- Blaine Anderson: Omg. Omg. Omg. Omg.
- David Thompson: Blaine is drooling right now. Thought you all should know as I have to watch the idiot first hand.
- Kurt Hummel: Fuck you as well.
- Jesse St. James: Rachel I am shocked you would make such a silly mistake.
- Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: Rachel what the fuck is that douchebag still doing on your friends list? (9 people like this)
Blaine Anderson does not know the meaning of a secure password. He also lusts after Mr. Creevy.
- Blaine Anderson: Wes and David, I hate you both. (Wes Montgomery and David Thompson like this)
Quinn Fabray posted an album 'Kurt through the ages!'
Kurt Hummel has been tagged in 14 pictures.
Kurt Hummel to Quinn Fabray: WHY.
- Quinn Fabray: Don't worry, if Blaine is still with you after all of this he will never leave you.
- Jeff Sterling to Quinn Fabray: THANK YOU FOR THIS INCREDIBLE GIFT! (Blaine Anderson likes this)
Blaine Anderson to Kurt Hummel: How high are those gaga heels? O_o
- Mercedes Jones: 10 inches!
- Kurt Hummel: I was made to wear them!
- Mercedes Jones: BWAHAHA. LIAR. You bedazzled them yourself!
- Kurt Hummel: I have no friends.
Blaine Anderson has changed his language to Pirate.
Kurt Hummel to Blaine Anderson: Pirate?
- Blaine Anderson: It's amazing! Bewitched portraits! And bottles of rum and when you're on your phone it calls it an AYEphone! AYE AYE CAPTAIN! This has made me so happy. AND YOU JUST SCRAWLED ON MY PLANK!
- Kurt Hummel: It sounds like you're the one on the chuffing to know in order to keep your attention I'll have to wear an eyepatch on our next date.
- Blaine Anderson: Just an eyepatch?
- Wes Montgomery: Lol so glad we FINALLY managed to offload him onto you Kurt he's your problem now!
- Blaine Anderson: Walk the planks ye scurvy dogs!
Blaine Anderson: Thinks that the only thing that could make his boyfriend 100% perfect instead of 99.9% is if he had a lightening scar :D
- Kurt Hummel: Seriously Blaine, again? Just log out!
- Blaine Anderson: Urm, that one was me.
- Kurt Hummel: Jesus fucking Christ. (Jeff Sterling, Mercedes Jones, David Thompson and 12 others like this)
If your Facebook language isn't pirate you need to change that immediately because it's hilarious.
Pease let me know if you liked this or not, I may write more if so because I really enjoyed this!
(Probably too much…)
Thanks for reading!
Blaine leaves Facebook loaded up far too often and needs a password change, Puck is a Facebook stalker, photo albums are Facebook's worst feature, and Kurt is going to kill Finn.