Disclaimer: This Fic is written by Fortune Maiden and Koder. The Idea is ours but unfortunately Hetalia isn't. Hetalia belongs to Himaruya.

The Sibling Stalking Club

Chapter 1: The Club forms (part 1)

1500 hours

Somewhere in Europe

There were many times in Switzerland's life where he questioned his actions and whether or not they were worth the inevitable problems they would bring. The William Tell Incident (totally worth it!), fighting for France for money (too troublesome), and of course stalking his cute little sister whenever she went out into the evil world, to protect her from idiot drivers, annoying salesmen, and men. He definitely never had any regrets, but today he was seriously starting to wander if stalking Liechtenstein would get him killed one day. Like today.

It was shameful to admit, but he was not the stealthiest of nations. His habit of carrying a rifle around and jumping out from his poorly thought-out hiding places aiming it when someone dared come close to Liechtenstein were incredibly obvious giveaways. Liechtenstein was a smart girl. Over time, she learned to avoid her big brother and was able to wander the world freely while he went crazy trying to follow her. Today was one of those days.

As he walked around the ambiguous European city hiding in a bush, he finally found a wandering nation. Only it wasn't Liechtenstein…it was Russia.

"What is he doing here?" Switzerland thought angrily. He knew for sure that his darling sister was somewhere in this city, and did not like the idea that Russia was here too. What if they were to bump into each other! Liechtenstein was unarmed; she hadn't finished her stranger-danger training (it ended with more cute stamps being made), and Russia was…well, Russia! Switzerland didn't really care about the large nation's past or his present or anything really. But Russia was male, and in the same vicinity as Liechtenstein. Something needed to be done!

Russia walked the streets very calmly, seemingly unaware (or uninterested) in the walking shrub following him. He looked around the area occasionally but was otherwise very inconspicuous (well he wasn't the one in the shrub was he?). Switzerland was very close to ditching the large landmass and going back to his true hunt when the Russian national anthem suddenly blasted the streets.

"Алло?" Russia answered his phone cheerfully, "Oh Iceland, how are you doing?"

Switzerland frowned. Iceland was that quiet nation with the annoying talking bird. He always seemed to be very reserved…Why was he making phone calls to Russia?

"I see, that's not good at all," Russia frowned, "But don't worry, I'm pretty far away now. This area isn't clear though."

Clear? What was he talking about? Switzerland edged closer hoping to hear what Iceland was saying. Unfortunately, when one is on their knees in a shrub and the other is a 6 foot tall nation, holding a phone to their ear, there is no possible way to hear the full conversation, only Russia's side of it.

"I can't really tell…but I'm by the Starbucks next to the park…Yes, I'll let her know too. Good Bye." Russia snapped his phone shut, before opening it again to get another phone number from his address book. He pressed the phone to his ear.

"Алло? Lilli?" Russia glanced at the inconspicuous shrub beside him. Switzerland's grip tightened around his gun. No, no, no. Not possible! Russia was not calling…no it was absurd!

"How are you holding up?" he asked cheerfully, "I'm fine, Ice seems to have found you know who over by the department store…Да, you should tell him…Well I seem to have a lost birdie too…You're on Bleaker Street? Okay then." Russia smiled a bit too creepily for Switzerland's taste.

"I'll be off then. Call me if anything happens…" he glanced at the shrub again very briefly "…Liechtenstein." He flipped his phone shut.

Switzerland was speechless. It was true. Russia was making phone calls to Liechtenstein. Why? How? Wait, did he say Bleaker Street? That was on the other side of the city! How did Liechtenstein get so far away from his sights!

Had not a very convenient text message appeared on his phone at that moment, he would have dashed off to Bleaker Street…

Belarus was pissed…Well, she was always pissed, but she was particularly unhappy today. Her beloved big brother was lost in this evil city, and she couldn't find him! Somehow, Russia had gotten better at evading her. This was horrible! How were they supposed to get married if she couldn't even keep track of her future husband! And she used to be so good at it too!

Belarus' stalking method consisted of hiding behind alleys and keeping a distance between her and her target. She was a professional stalker, albeit with a small weakness. When she got too excited, she would emit a cold intimidating aura that most people could pick up on. Usually this aura activated around Russia when she let her mind run away a little. Today, however, this aura happened to activate when she finally found a nation…that wasn't Russia. The poor wall of the alley she was hiding behind never saw it coming.

"Iceland." Belarus muttered coldly glaring at the young silver haired nation. Normally, Belarus ignored nations that didn't get in her way. Iceland was not one of those nations, oh no; Belarus had a particular dislike of that little economically challenged brat. He just had to get sick and have her dear sweet Russia take care of him three years ago, didn't he?

Now what was Iceland doing here? Alone, and in the same city as Russia? Surely, they were not planning to meet in private were they? Oh no, Belarus would never, ever, let that happen.

She crept closer to Iceland. He froze when he felt her freezing aura envelope him and quickly pulled out his cell phone.

"We have a problem." He stated simply. Belarus raised a brow. Who was he talking to now? "It's suddenly very cold over here." She heard him "Tsk" in annoyance.

"Well I'm glad you're far away but what am I supposed to do exactly?" He glanced around. "Who's over there exactly? Norway or…Too bad…Make sure you tell Liechtenstein too…Bye." He ended the call began to walk again. But now Belarus was fully interested in him. So he was talking to Liechtenstein too, was he? Switzerland would probably love to hear that information. Maybe there was no need for her to get her hands dirty. She would be content with Switzerland shooting the little brat.

Belarus quickly pulled out her phone and typed "Are you aware that your sister is exchanging phone calls with Iceland?" before sending it to Switzerland.

She got a reply rather quickly.

"Are you aware that your brother is too?"

The temperature dropped a few more degrees.

Norway was starting to get bored. He really hated it when things didn't work out well for him. So he was concerned for his little brother's safety and well-being! That didn't give Iceland the right to disappear on him when he was only trying to make sure Iceland got to wherever he was headed in one piece.

After realizing that not only had he no clue where the hell Iceland was, but was also lost, Norway sat down in a little café and ordered a coffee. Unlike Switzerland and Belarus, Norway's method of stalking was to dress up in a fancy suit, hat and sunglasses and walk around looking very posh. He hated getting his hands and clothes dirty.

Disguises were the best way to watch over someone. The only problem was that Norway was rather fond of using his nisse as a scout. Iceland, being his brother, could easily detect Norway's magical creatures, and therefore knew when he was being followed (not to mention, it was very hard to miss a very posh guy following you around). He had gotten good at avoiding them. Now whenever Norway went out to follow him, he wound up very bored. Couldn't something exciting happen already?

As Norway drank his coffee, he spotted a familiar blonde girl with a purple ribbon and a pink dress, on the phone nearby. Liechtenstein? What was she doing here?

"Just tell him I'm on Bleaker Street or something," she said cheerfully, "That'll buy us both some time. Okay, Tschüs Russia!" She turned her iPhone off and slid it into her purse. Norway watched curiously. Liechtenstein and Russia? What an odd pair. He glanced at the street sign. Avenue Z… Bleaker Street was on the other side of the city. Clever girl.

Now Norway really had no interest in what Russia and Liechtenstein were up to. Until the little girl suddenly pulled out her phone again, dialed a number and said, very audibly, "Hey Icy."

Norway nearly choked on his precious coffee. She was in contact with Iceland too? What? Why? They were close in human age weren't they? They weren't…Dating were they? Impossible! But she called him "Icy"! No one ever got away with calling him that!

Then Norway's phone suddenly received a text. He set his coffee cup down and pulled out his reliable Sony Ericsson. The text was from Switzerland.

"As a fellow older brother, I should probably inform you that Belarus is probably about to murder Iceland."

Norway cursed. He probably shouldn't have wished for any excitement.

Switzerland sighed frustrated. He probably shouldn't have sent Belarus that message. He should have thought that one out a bit. Iceland was a sweet kid when his stupid volcano wasn't terrorizing half of Europe. If he got in with the wrong crowd, it was Norway's job to set him straight, not Belarus'. But when Switzerland realized that Iceland was probably talking to his little sister, he sort off lost control. But he warned Norway about the impending doom too, so it was fine…wasn't it?

Dammit, he was supposed to be neutral. How did he get himself involved in this mess?

There was no time for Switzerland to worry about his conscience as his cell phone started ringing very loudly. Now it was definitely not an everyday occurrence for a bizarrely placed shrub to start singing the Swiss national anthem, so people started to gather. Russia used the convenient situation to get away. Drat.

"What do you want?" the gun toting nation hissed angrily.

"If you would like to know what your little sister is up to, tell me where Iceland is right now." Norway's soft but very frigid voice demanded.

Switzerland's eyes widened. "GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER YOU FAIRY-SEEING FREAK!" he yelled jumping up from the shrub not really caring that people were around.

"Don't confuse me for England. And tell me where my brother is or…" a pause. "I will get away from Liechtenstein and then you will have no idea where she is." Damn, that Nordic was good. But Switzerland was better.

"I already know where she is. Bleaker Street. I'm heading there right now." Switzerland heard an evil chuckle from the other end.

"Oh so that's what she meant. Sorry Thrifty but she is most definitely not on Bleaker Street."

Switzerland's jaw dropped. Liechtenstein lied to him? He was going to have a very serious talk with her when he found her. But if she wasn't on Bleaker Street then where…

"Tell me where my sister is!"

"Only when you tell me where my brother is."

"The hell I know! I only overheard Russia talking to him and then accidentally told Belarus that Iceland was exchanging phone calls with him."

A brief pause followed.

"Switzerland," Norway began in a tone that was only reserved for Denmark when the latter did something stupid, "How do you accidentally tell a psychopath that her almost-as-psychopathic brother is making phone calls to my poor, defenseless brother?" Switzerland best decided not to answer.

"Never mind, quit wasting my time and find Iceland." Switzerland twitched at the commanding tone. Just who was this rich fish lover to order him around?

"How am I supposed to do that? Can't you call him?"

"Switzerland, can you tell me why you don't just call your sister and ask her where she is?" Norway began condescendingly.

"She'll ignore my call and—" Switzerland sighed. Iceland probably would ignore both of them if he was in league with Liechtenstein in avoiding them.

Then it hit him like a punch to the face. Those three teamed up. Russia's call from Iceland was the young Nordic revealing that he had found Belarus, and Russia's call to Liechtenstein was to give Switzerland a false lead. Dammit!

"I'll call you back," Switzerland said, and hit the end call button on his phone before Norway could protest. He quickly dialed Belarus' number.

Belarus was this close to stabbing her knife through Iceland's back, when her phone started vibrating. She quickly retreated into the shadows, before Iceland even noticed her (when Belarus was on the hunt, she always hid her deadly aura).

"What!" she spat into the phone.

"It's me." Switzerland answered, "If you haven't killed Iceland yet, do you mind waiting a minute?"

"I do actually," the Belarusian girl retorted sharply.

"You'll like what I have to say, so hold on." Belarus waited tapping her foot impatiently despite no one being able to hear it. A minute later (she counted) Switzerland's voice resurfaced along with a dial tone.

"What now?" the dial tone ended and an annoyed slightly exasperated voice answered. Belarus frowned. Norway.

"Alright Belarus are you there? And is Iceland alive?" Switzerland asked.

"Unfortunately."

"Good. Listen up," Switzerland's voice took on an authoritative tone, and Belarus was suddenly filled with the desire to punch him. She settled for carving stick figures out of the wall she was hiding behind.

"Our siblings have teamed up against us." She was going to carve a little Switzerland and an Iceland and…what did he just say?

"Teamed up?" Norway asked, annoyed, "And you just realized that now?"

"SHUT UP AND LISTEN!" Belarus held the phone away from her ear. She added a couple of stakes to her doodles.

"Each of us has found one of our siblings. Norway found Liechtenstein, Belarus found Iceland and—"

"YOU FOUND MY BROTHER?" Belarus shouted excitedly and accidentally stabbed a hole through the wall she was drawing on. The crash that followed no doubt disturbed the two nations on the other end.

"Where is he?"

"Tell me where Ice is first." Norway said coldly.

"H-hey! What about Liechtenstein?" Switzerland piped up angrily.

"I demand to know where my brother is first!"

"Iceland."

"Liechtenstein."

"Russia. I have a knife and we all know Iceland won't stand a chance against me. So either someone tells me where my brother is, or I'll tell you where Ice's remains will be."

A moment of silence followed.

"I last saw him around 12th street. Norway calling me scared him off though. He should still be around though." Switzerland explained coldly. Belarus nodded. Finally, something useful.

"Thank you. Norway. Where is Liechtenstein?" she asked emotionlessly. While Belarus hated those who got in her way, and ignored those who didn't, she was very helpful to those who helped her. Now that she knew where Russia was, Switzerland could know where Liechtenstein was.

Norway, who tended to avoid conflicts by nature, thought it best not to argue.

"She's on Avenue Z by the little coffee shop." He stated simply.

"Now was that so difficult?" Belarus mocked, "Iceland is on 3rd street by the giant department store. Bye." She quickly hung up and began her journey to find Russia.

An hour later, a defeated Norway found an equally defeated Belarus and Switzerland in a little park near the city. They sat on opposite ends of a bench with their arms crossed. Norway sat down between them exhausted.

"So what's your story?" he asked turning to Switzerland.

The Swiss nation scowled. "By the time I got to Avenue Z, Liechtenstein called and told me she was almost home."

"Oh," The Nordic turned to Belarus, "And you?"

The girl just spat in the dirt, earning a look of contempt from the northern nation.

"By the time I reached 12th street, Big Brother was long gone. The End." Clearly, something else happened too, but Norway didn't care to press the issue.

"What about you Norway?" Switzerland asked nonchalantly. Norway just sighed.

"I was close. He was within my sights…" Norway took out his phone and started crushing it, "But then Denmark called and by the time I got off the phone with him, Ice was gone." Beside him Belarus smirked.

"Haven't you ever heard of the ignore button?"

"You try ignoring the guy who programs your silent phone to play 'The Oresund Song' on full blast when he calls."

There wasn't a nation alive who didn't know about that song, especially since a rather drunk Denmark decided to play the video at the last Copenhagen Conference. Many minds were scarred that day. An awkward silence (minus Belarus' snickers) followed until Switzerland decided to change the subject.

"I can't believe they teamed up on us."

"Why not?" Belarus scoffed, "Our history is nothing but teaming up against each other. I'm surprised they hadn't teamed up earlier."

"Maybe we should team up then." Norway retorted.

Switzerland pursed his lips. Iceland, Liechtenstein and Russia… A very bizarre and unlikely alliance. But they all had one thing in common. They couldn't go out with a sibling following them. In his case, it was all for protection. Liechtenstein was blessed with a very cute face and innocent aura, and as a member of the male species, Switzerland knew that there were people out of there who would take advantage of that.

In Norway's case, Iceland was a bit on the frail side. Considering his whole history, it was amazing that Norway hadn't locked him in a bubble. Belarus' case was completely different. Russia was more than capable of taking care of himself. She just wouldn't take "I won't marry you" for an answer.

In the past few years, their siblings had gotten better and better at avoiding them. Had they been allied that whole time? It was definitely possible. If they were allied than allying against them was the best idea. They had gotten close to finding their targets today, hadn't they? It was really more of a timing (and cell phone) issue than anything else.

Switzerland took pride in his neutrality. He had been neutral since Napoleon and really had no intention of getting involved in other nations' affairs. But this was different. It would be a defense alliance! An alliance to defend their young innocent (or in Russia's case: old, innocent) siblings from the dangers of the world.

He smiled mischievously. "Maybe we should."

"Huh?"

Switzerland jumped up off the bench.

"I'm serious. We were pretty close to catching them today weren't we? We should ally against them from now on." This idea was met with blank looks.

"I don't make alliances with you westerners." Belarus stated simply, her hate aura radiating again.

"It's not a political alliance, stupid," Norway snapped at her, "It's more of a silly club than anything else."

"What? A Sibling Stalking Club?" the girl jeered, "And what? Do we stalk each other's siblings from now on?"

"Stalking isn't the word I would use," Switzerland admitted, "But that's the idea. They'll never suspect that we're watching them for each other."

Norway thought about this. It made sense so far. He did not like to be in the same breathing space as a certain incestuous psychopath so Iceland would never suspect her of stalking him. And Switzerland had a habit of helping no one, so no one would ever suspect him.

"Let's try it." Switzerland nodded and both men turned to Belarus.

"What about you?" the Swiss asked.

"I'll think about it."

"You do that. Switzerland and I just won't watch Russia until you agree to help us."

"Tch." Belarus crossed her arms. "Fine, I'm in. Now what?"

"Now we get lunch." Norway answered calmly. His new allies stared at him incredulously. "I'm hungry, and we can discuss our little club there."

"Fine." Belarus stood up, "If you don't mind Draniki, we can eat at my house." Switzerland, a potato lover in his own right, agreed. Norway however, didn't.

"I was thinking we could go to a nice restaurant," the northern nation muttered. This was met with demonic glares. "What now?"

"I'm broke you asshole." Belarus hissed. That demon-like aura was coming back…

"Nice restaurants are expensive." Switzerland grumbled. Norway sighed. He forgot who he was dealing with.

"My apologies. I forgot about your less than pleasant economic situations. My treat." Belarus and Switzerland knew he was insulting them…

…but they were silent the whole walk to the restaurant.

Fortune Maiden: That's it for Chapter 1. Next time, the "club" works out some details and recruits some new members!

Super Duper Important Disclaimer: "The Oresund Song" is real and off limits to everyone! The video WILL scar you for life and if you understand Danish, so will the lyrics. Seriously people, don't listen to it! Ever! (If you absolutely must, and are scarred...we did warn you so we do not take responsibility for any mental scarring)